Scurvy

Dillos looking good!! Clown is spooky

The trade deadline looms in front of us and the post I had been waiting for to start this masterpiece just came out. ItItss Theme Week and my quest for that precious TPE to fight depreciation is upon us. The topic for theme week is simple, the Trade Deadline. Now normally it would be a topic that would fly right by me and irritate me that I really could care less, unless my player was on the block. But now that I am an assistant GM for the Miami Marauders that is still so clueless and usually hanging on @Ricer13 word to see WTF to do, it means a bit more. Now, the Marauders are rolling right now and currently in a locked battle with @rory Halifax 21s for the top spot in the Eastern Conference. But it has got me thinking about how to improve the team or if anything needs to be done at all. We have a great group of people in Miami that make a great locker room as well as a complete product on the ice. But hypothetically if I could make a few trades these are the ones I would like to explore: BAZOOKA JOE -D Philly Reapers - @ScottyP Now it's easy for me to want to pick a real-life buddy to join the Marauders to fill a need. The Marauders currently hold 3 amazing defensemen in Don Jagr @koty_k, Armas Jortikka @Kavadar, and Tina Hughes @tinafrombobsburgers. But adding some depth to the team might be what they need during the grind of the playoffs and a big burly dman like Bazooka could fill the role nicely. Philly is in the midst of a re-build and trading away a player like Bazooka might not make sense as he provides some depth for the next season or two as a decent earner and good build. And Philly needs defenders as it is rocking only two right now. So, this trade is a bit of a pipe dream (I think) but Bazooka Joe would definatly pair nicely with Armas Jortiikka or Tina Hughes to punish opposing foes all playoff long. Brigitta Sandstrom -D Saskatoon- @Acydburn Ok when I joined the league in S81 and I scoured the box scores trying to figure out WTF was going on in the VHL I saw the name Battre Sandstrom dominating the box scores on his way to the Hall of Fame. So, it Is without question the Marauders would LOVE to have a descendant of this player in Brigitta to join Miami as they fight for a Founder’s Cup. PLUS, this player already played 14 games in South Beach as a re-create it would be seamless. A true defender that is 3rd on Saskatoon in scoring with 25 points (6 pp goals) the belief is that on a team with a few more offensive weapons, Brigitta would be able to take some chances and flourish offensively while not having to be asked to do everything on the ice. Plus, Saskatoon would benefit greatly from some added draft picks or prospects for an outgoing player, destined for VHL greatness. There you have it. My uninformed and clueless AGM response to trade deadline fantasy desires of the Miami Marauders.

Great article! Logan is awaiting the police response! LOL

Fckin ANIMAL!!! Keep it goin!

ALL-TIME LEADER IN HITS/PIMS Don Jagr-D Its official! At roughly the half-way point of the season Miami Marauder defenseman, Don Jagr @koty_kbecame the All-time leader in penalty minutes (278) and hits (563). Jagr is a quiet killer on the team who plays a gritty style of play in front of the net. He is known for being a tough as nail defender who never takes a night off. However, don’t let the grit fool you. He also quietly contributes on offense as well. His quick outlet passes and punishing shot has netted him 7 goals this season to go with his 25 assists. A true leader on the ice he is deserving to hold the two records. Also, at the 44 game mark he still has a good chunk of season to add to his hit and PIM totals. Jagr also has a good chance to earn the shots blocked lead as well. He currently in 3rdplace with 317. The leader, Xiaoping Benguin Dinghao Aland is the leader with 393. Congratulations Don Jagr and thanks for being such a beast in Miami!

Miami Marauder Press Conference – Week of January 26, 2025 1. NFL playoffs are here. Do you even care? If so, who do you want to win? 2. We’re battling hard to be top team in league. What is the atmosphere of the locker room feel like for you right now? 3. I would say Halifax is our biggest rival right now. Do you agree? 4. Trade deadline is approaching. Is there anything you think needs to be added to our club? Or are we poised for victory? 5. Who do you think will be King Clutch on our team during the playoffs? 6. Dogs or Cats? I’m dogs

Pretty sweet!

bad ass!! Go Marauders

welcome @Rkhockey9!!!!

Well, another week has passed, and the league is buzzing with activity. We’re approaching the half-way point to the season and as always, it’s time for a tough guy tribute to celebrate those in the league that hit, fight, and grind for their teams. Let’s look at some of these animals that play hockey with a big bag of knuckles. Now, obliviously I can’t cover all the toughs in the league in this article so if your left out its nothing other than I have reached my word count. Savaisk Tzesar (MAL)- @comrade cat. (9 fights) A career Nighthawk who averages almost a point per game is 4th all-time in PIMS for Malmo just behind retired fellow tough guy Druss Deathwalker. Tzesar leads the league in fights with 9 (2 wins) which is a crazy high number at the 32 game mark. He’s currently 6th in PIMS with 99 and 10th in hits with 111. A true tough guy that terrorized the EU. Callum Gary Yannick Janser (NY)- @Daniel Janser (6 fights) There is no doubt that Janser creates players that strike fear into opponents in some way or another. His former build struck fear in defenders and goalies alike by sniping goals on his way to the hall of fame. So it makes sense that this build strikes fear in opposing forwards. A bone-crushing defenseman who leads the league in PIMs with 140 and is 3rd overall in hits with 157. Toby Kadachi (CHI)- @ROOKIE745 (5 fights) An absolute menace on the ice and current leader in hits (191). 3 straight years of with over 300 hits and on pace to easily hit that again. He is 3rd in PIMS with 111. A point per game player as well he is a true fan favorite in Chicago, a city that loves their tough guys. Guntis Gavilrovs (VAN)- @Girts (4 fights) The all-time leader in penalty minutes for Vancouver (in just 5 seasons). This animal is a fan favorite and total beast on the ice in all facets. Guntis can score, pass, and smash his way on his quest to another Cup. 131 hits and 71 PIMS this season Guntis has tried to temper his knack for retaliatory minors since he is so valuable on the ice but that doesn’t mean he has forgotten why @Frank drafted him so high in S92. Tommy Sleeves (HSK)- @dasboot (7 fights) In everything there must be someone considered the Champ, or best there is. Those words must describe our next enforcer. Tommy Sleeves. A killer every way possible this defender plays the game like a throwback from the 1980’s. A true enforcer eclipsed 411 hits last season and 336 PIMS. Already over 2000 hits in his career he is the all-time leader in PIMS and hits for Helsinki. He has 123 PIMS already this season and 176 hits shows that Sleeves is not slowing down. Honorable mentions: Grimgor Ironhide @FrostBeard Antonia Bucatini @CowboyinAmerica (Tough Girl Tribute) Fradin McGryer @Fradin99 Jussi Jokinenegg @HearnNation67 (6 fights) Boris Bone Breaker @RileyL (rookie- 86 PIM 89 hits)

This week’s Miami Marauder spotlight is on our terrific tendy Draw Mac @Koutsi. As of late, the Marauders have been pillaging the league to a 21-6 record, the top spot in the league. A lot of credit has to go to the pirate between the pipes, Draw Mac. A quiet but effective presence on the ice he does just about everything right. He is already the all-time leader in wins (90) and shutouts (21) in Miami history. This season, he has been lights out each and every night. 21 wins (1st in league), 8 shutouts (1st in league), and a 1.62 GAA average. He is elite and give his club a level of confidence to allow them to take some chances offensively knowing the brick wall is back there to help if needed. Mac has spent his entire minor career in Miami and has never had a losing season. He wants and needs a Cup to go by such a legendary minor’s career, and this season is his chance. Helsinki holds the rights to this beauty and used the 11th overall pick In S96 for him, recognizing a gem when they saw him. Thank you for a great season Mac!

Miami Marauder Press Conference- Week of January 19.2025 1. When you look at box score of each game. What is your favorite achievement you look for in your player? Hits, PIMS, Goals, etc? 2. Were a little over the quarter way into the season. Who is your team MVP to this point? 3. Which team in VHL has your favorite logo? 4. Which team in VHLM has your favorite logo? 5. Do you prefer coffee, soda, or tea? 6. What is your favorite book and/or movie?

Miami Marauder Press Conference – Week of January 12, 2025 1. First presser of the year. Does your player have any New Year’s resolutions? 2. Miami is in a 3-way tie with Halifax and Ottawa for top spot in East. What do we need to do to dominate the top of the standings? 3. Armas Jortikka @Kavadar is 41 hits away from being all-time hit leader in Miami. He has 19 hits on the year. Will he take the lead this season? 4. Do you think the VHLM needs more individual awards? Like top hitter? Etc? 5. Do you miss the VHLE as being an option for players? 6. Would you rather eat pie or cake?