Scurvy

Logan Ninefingers - OV

Miami Marauder Regular Season Awards Season 97 Record: 50-15-7 2nd place Eastern Conference Lost 1st round Playoffs The season is over so it’s time for the second Annual Miami Marauder awards presentation. This season was extremely special as we saw our team gel in the locker room, have fun, and we even watched some newer players flourish and become true ambassadors of the league. The season didn’t end like we wanted it too but that sometimes happens in the SIM world, so we persevere. SHIVER ME TIMBERS AWARD- Most Hits- This award goes out to the nastiest Marauder who led the regular season in hits. There are some players on a club who go about their business quietly and deadly. This player is always lurking in his end looking to decapitate opposing forward. He was runner up last season, and it is deserving that he gets the award this season. The winner is: Don Jagr @koty_k 233 hits Runner up- Filip Zinek @FiZi210 hits AYE AYE AWARD- assist leader- The Aye Aye award is for the ultimate teammate that led the regular season in assists. This wily defender took the league by storm and was in my opinion the best defenseman in the league leading all other defenders in points and finishing with 86 on the season. So…. The winner is: Armas Jortikka @Kavadar (60 assists) Runner up: Jacob Longstreet @Dynamicmlb_42 (59 assists) MAN O’ WAR AWARD- Most PIMS- Every pirate ship needs an enforcer to keep opposing foes in check and protect our star players. Despite taking a more disciplined approach this year in Miami this player had to shed the mitts and send a message several times. A favorite of the South Beach fans and teammates alike the winner is….. Winner is- Don Jagr @koty_k- 99 PIM Runner Up: Filip Zinek @FiZi SCURVY DOG AWARD- Blocked Shots- It takes a special kind of animal to be willing to stand in front of a clapper bound to hit the soft spot in the side of your skate. This player not only blocked shots buts still managed to be the offensive dman in the league. Also, the runner up was inches behind the winner, and I know having two animals in front of our goalie made him smile. The winner is. Winner is Armas Jortikka @Kavadar 103 blocked shots Runner up: Don Jagr @koty_k 101 blocked shots ANCHOR AWARD- The word Anchor has several definitions. One is, “a heavy object attached to a rope or chain used to moor a vessel to the sea bottom.” Another and more fitting definition is, “a person or thing that can be relied on for support, stability, or security.” It’s hard to argue this definition and not think of Miami’s netminder. 14 shutouts and a 1.64 GAA he was as stable a player as Miami had all season. An absolute stud that will do great things in the VHL. Winner is: Draw Mac @Koutsi 48-14-7 1.64 GAA 14 shutouts SEA DOG AWARD- This award goes out to our leading scorer in the regular season. A true team leader and absolute savage with the puck. He has worked his way to #2 all-time in Miami scoring, #1 in game winning goals, and #4 in all time assists. It’s sad to see this player’s time to be done in Miami without the deserving Founders Cup but we are proud to have had him in Miami for the last 3 seasons. Winner is: Jacob Longstreet @Dynamicmlb_42 39-59-98 pts SCALLYWAG AWARD- Game winning goals- A team much like a marauding ship needs that clutch player who can score when the game is on the line. This assistant captain was Miami’s leading scorer this season. Scored 12 GWG’s on the season to lead the Marauders and is now officially the franchise leader in GWG. Winner is - Jacob Longstreet @Dynamicmlb_42 12 GWG Runner up- Elf Shoes @ELF_SH0ES 11 GWG PILLAGE AWARD- Penalty shot goals- There is no bigger dagger in the heart than allowing a penalty shot goal for a goalie. This a true test of skill of both the player and the goalie with no teammates there to bail either player out. This season Maimi had two clutch penalty shot players that will each earn the award with 5 penalty shot goals. Winners are: Elf Shoes @ELF_SH0ES 5PSG Armas Jortikka @Kavadar 5 PSG TOP BUCCANEER AWARD- Team MVP- Again, this is a tough award to hand out with so many amazing players on this club. The Team is the true MVP this season but some players for sure should be in consideration. After breaking down the numbers and talking it over with our leader @Ricer13 this season will have co-MVP’s. Each player dominated in their respective positions showing tremendous skill that gave the Marauders a chance to win every night. The S97 Most Valuable Marauders are: Winners are Armas Jortikka @Kavadar and Draw Mac @Koutsi Runner ups: Jacob Longstreet @Dynamicmlb_42 PIRATE KING AWARD- The Pirate King Award goes to the player who received the most “Most Valuable Marauder” shout outs during the regular season. This year we had a total of 13 different Marauders earn the coveted MVM during the week. This year the overall winner won the award 6 times. The winner is: Winners are: Luc Moreau @minman 6 MVM Runner up: Draw Mac 5, Jakob Longstreet 4, Elf Shoes 4 ADMIRAL AWARD: This is a new award that @Ricer13 and I thought should go to the player on the team who shows the most initiative in mentoring and leadership. This player came to the league in S95 and has truly been engrossed by the greatness of the VHL and its community. This player took it upon himself to mentor all new members of the club to assist in earning and to help with the learning curve associated with applying TPE and builds. We truly believe a player like this helps with not only making great players but with showing others the greatness the VHL has to offer its users. @Ricer13 and I both hope to see this player in a leadership role on a club in the future. (as long as they lose to Miami) This year’s Admiral Award winner is: @minman Congrats to all of you winners. Thank you all for being such a great group this season and it was a true pleasure to be a part of this team. @Ricer13 and I wish you the best in your VHL/VHLM careers and we hope to see you again whether in Miami or as your player moves on to the VHL. Hopefully, you all enjoyed your time in Miami. Marauders for life! 1100 words Will claim for week of Feb 16 and Feb 23

shadow

As the S97 season ended, it was brought to my attention that Logan Ninefingers has entered some exclusive company and tied former Wolf and Hall of Famer, Julius Freeman @rjfryman with a Vancouver record of 40 career game winning goals. Freeman was the #2 overall pick in S66 and was a beauty of a winger. 286 goal, 307 assists, and 593 points he led the Wolves to a Continental Cup in S67 and won the dreaded Victory Cup in S69 and S71. He later added some more personal trophies near the end of his career in New York. Ninefingers will certainly take the record next season, but I am sure that if Freeman would have stayed with the wolves his whole career his record of 52 might stand the test of time. Anyway, it’s always nice to be in the same circles as a Hall of Famer and more importantly doing something valuable for the club.

Miami Marauder Press Conference- Week of February 16th. 2025 1. Superbowl is tomorrow. Are you celebrating and who are you rooting for? 2. Miami had some back sim luck as we lost in the first round despite having a superior team. What is your player doing in the off-season to prepare for next season? 3. 4 Nations hockey tournament is coming. Are you excited to watch any of the games? 4. Since we are out of the playoffs are you even following the rest of the VHLM playoffs? I have been traveling but I find that since we lost I have not really followed any games until today. 5. It’s 28 degrees (F) here today and supposed to be colder all week. Are you tired of winter yet? 6. Riddle: Everyone has one, but no one can lose it. What is it? @Thunder

GOLD!!!

HAHA Yes, my bad

Another week has gone by and it’s another week I wish I was competent enough to do a graphic or podcast to get my precious 6 TPE. But since I am inept at such talents, I digress into an article about the current weekly happenstances of the VHL. VHL ENFORCERS I did a mid-season preview of the league’s enforcers and now here with the final numbers. I mean in the modern day VHL there are some absolute savages roaming the rinks on a nightly basis. To see a player have 443 hits along with 236 PIMs with Toby Kadachi @ROOKIE745 is pretty cool. A quick look at the stats at the end of the season showed some impressive numbers for some of the leagues brutes and here they are. Tommy Sleeves (HSK) @dasboot a league member known for making nasty players he finished as the league leader in PIMS (300) and 2nd in hits (373). A menace to play against he is probably them main reason no one wants to face Helsinki. 300 PIM 373 HITS 12 Fighting majors (3 wins) Fradin McGryer (RIG) @Fradin99- a killing machine on defense for Riga he finished 2nd in PIMS (263) and led the league in fighting majors (13). One can wonder if the reason for Fradin’s aggressive behavior is because he must play in front of @Lemorse7 each game. Lol 263 PIMS 240 HITS 13 fighting majors (4 wins) Callum Gary Yannick Janser (NY) @Daniel Janser Daniel – Another defender on the list that can hurt you with his fists as well as his skill. Over a point per game defender that is third overall in PIMS (250) and 4th in hits (316) is pretty impressive. He also tied for league lead in fight wins (4). 250 PIMS 316 HITS 12 fighting majors (4 wins) Toby Kadachi (CHI) @ROOKIE745- Another user who makes bone crushing players Kadachi led the league in hits with an amazing 443 while adding 236 minutes in the sin bin. Even more impressive is he had 39 goals to go with it and over a point per game. 236 PIMS 443 HITS 10 fighting majors (3 wins) Guntis Gavilrovs (VAN) @Girts- I mean what can you say about GG. He has the perfect name for an enforcer and to look at his face your immediately understand the profession he chose. And despite all of this he is Vancouver’s premier lady’s man and absolute beast on and off the ice. 31 goals this season and 100 points to add to 291 hits and 187 PIMS. 7 fighting majors on the season with 4 of them wins. 187 PIMS 291 HITS 7 fighting majors (4 wins) There are many more deserving to be listed with @FrostBeard, @The goat of hockey, @Victor. @dstevensonjr, @RileyL, @leandrofg, @cLoWn, @comrade cat, @Renomitsu, @Is_thatokand I am happy to see these types of players honored. Below is the final stat tally to the year. Congrats to all. Final Top 10 in PIMS Top 10 in Hits Tommy Sleeves 300 Toby Kadachi 443 Fradin McGryer 263 Tommy Sleeves 373 Callum Gary Yannick Janser 250. Grimgor Ironide 317 Toby Kadachi 236 Callum Gary Yannick Janser 316 Grimgor Ironhide 211. Guntis Gavilrovs 291 Billy Joel 209 Antonia Bucatini 283 Antonia Bucatini 189 Maverick Goncalves 281 Guntis Gavilrovs 187 Catia Goncalves 272 Boris Bone-Breaker (r) 168 Savaisk Tzesar 265 Harry Callahan 167 Spanish Moon Moth 252 Total Fights: Fradin McGryer 13 Callum Gary Yannick Janser 12 Tommy Sleeves- 12 Miner vHLer- 10 Savaisk Tzesar- 10 Stefan Nikolaev- 10 Toby Kadachi- 10 Anonia Bucatini- 9 Grimgor Ironhide- 9 Harry Callahan- 9

The season is finally coming to an end and the Vancouver Wolves are at the top of the VHL NA standings, with Calgary a close second. In the NA, Toronto came in hot the end of the season and ended up 3rd in the NA with 102 pts. But don’t overlook New York who in the wildcard could spell doom for their opponents as I feel they’re the most underrated team in the NA. In the European Conference, Malmo Nighthawks ended up winning the Cursed Cup so despite winning the EU, I anticipate the curse sticks, and they are out in 2nd round even though they are lethal. Moscow’s always deadly ass is hovering in second place followed by HC Davos, who always seems to be formidable and my personal pick to win the EU this season. Only time and Simon’s influence will tell who wins that coveted Continental Cup but I do know it will be an exciting time. Best of luck playoff teams!

Miami Marauders Press Conference – Week of February 9, 2025 1. Non-Hockey related but what do you think of the NBA trade sending Jokic to LA for Davis and picks? 2. Hockey related: What do you think of the JT Miller to NY trade? If you were the GM of Vancouver, would have traded Miller or Elias Pettersson? 3. Playoffs are starting soon. We play Las Vegas to start it out. How do you feel about our first-round matchup? 4. We have added a lot of players lately to the club. All have seemed to buy in to the Miami identity. Do you think this makes us the deadliest team in the playoffs? 5. Since your player is in the VHLM, do you pay attention to the VHL standings and stats? 6. Should there be a VHLM Hall of Fame for players who decide to spend their careers in the VHLM?

Hey Pal. Thank you for having the stones to share such life changing news. I hope you find solace in that you are not alone in your struggles. I too come from a family of diabetics, and while I've been fortunate to avoid it thus far I have seen the changes some family members have had to make, even though many were very good athletes and took care of themselves. Genetics sometimes plays a big role and it's the hand they are dealt. It's all about finding the "new normal" and I have no doubt you will be hitting your stride and probably feeling better in no time. Once you get it all dialed in I know your will come out the other side feeling like a new person. This is a great community her in the VHL and you can always reach out if you need to chat. Just the fact that you shared such personal info speaks volumes about who you are so I am confident you will prevail.

Haha. In my defense. I did it on my phone after too many Mai Tai

1. I think (and hope) all five players get 100. All deserving. 2. Continental Cups are ALL that matter. 3. No, the best experience I feel is when you have a fun group all striving for same thing. Makes winning cup that much more special. 4. yes, PMB with goal award, Guntis and Bollos split all defense awards, Matteo most improved. Frank gets GM award Riley best two way forward. 5. I’m happy with it. Many since were winning. 6. I think lowering cap adds parody to league but would suck to leave or have teammates leave such a fun place.

HAHA. I got the mark of the C on me . You know I would go! he's too valuable and..... ugly to trade.

It’s another week closer to playoffs and I am currently a few minutes off the beach with my wife and daughter in Maui. It has been beautiful here and I am hoping the next four days remain that way. I did learn something about my wife this week even after 15 years of marriage. She doesn’t understand the importance of earning TPE for my imaginary player. LOL. I have been sneaking time on the laptop, hammering away at a media spot and VHL.com with no real direction on where I am going. But I need that TPE so here we go. VANCOUVER WOVES: I was just dinking around checking some stats and came across and interesting one on my own club. I see that 5 players are all at 92 points or better and all have a shot at making 100 points. Pretty cool that the scoring is high and still spread out amongst the club. Better yet, two defenders, Guntis Gavilrovs @Girts and Bollos De Trueno @Thunder are in that mix. Guntis leads the Wolves in scoring with 95 points ( 29 goals) while remaining near the top heavyweight hitters (260 hits) and fighters in the league. Bollos is the littler version of Guntis and just as deadly. It took about half the season for him to be happy despite being in top ten in scoring. He FINALLY found someone to shed the mitts with and since has been in 3 fights, which all lead to Wolves win streaks. Up front, Pierre Mac Bouchard @Gaikoku-hito has quietly climbed the goal scoring ranks with 45, giving him a real shot at 50 goals and 50 assists which he deserves. Riley Martin @Smarch has also been a silent killer with 38 goals 54 assists, added to 100PIMS and 184 hits. All of these members deserve good season as they are some of the best teammates around. To have 5 players with the potential for 100 points in a season is remarkable. Love playing for this club! TORONTO SURGING Now, I am not a fan of the Toronto Mapleleafs and despite liking their coach and players I usually root for them to lose. No real reason as they deserve success , I just like other teams better. Now, the Toronto Legion I do like and man are they on FIRE! 12, yes 12 straight wins and they are closing in on my beloved Wolves. Great GM in @dstevensonjr and some great players on the club they have taken the NA on by storm passing a very underrated New York team and a dominant Calgary club. We will see if they catch the Wolves before the season is over. Either way, what a way for the club to end the season determined for a playoff spot. MIAMI UPDATE The Marauders continue to battle Halifax and Houston for the top spot in VHLM and the playoffs are going to be epic. Huge shoutout to some new players this week as our new backup goaltender, Finnegan Tex Simms @Will3 had a shutout in his first VHLM game, stopping 18 shots on the way to a Marauder win.

Perfect order!

Miami Marauders- Player Spotlight Forward- Luc Moreau @minman 63 GP 31goals 31assists 62 pts As the Miami Marauders approach the playoffs I find the team is gelling well and the newer members of the team are getting in sync quickly with earning and the team identity. Obviously our leader, @Ricer13 plays a huge role in mentoring newer players to the complexities of VHL life but one player has taken mentoring to a new level, and that is @minman So while @minman player is so valuable to us on the ice, this post is more about the player's owner. Entering his third season in the VHLM (all with Miami) Moreau has been a consistent presence in the locker room and a huge asset on the ice. Always present and eager to learn and help. @minman is an amazing teammate and this season especially has brought it upon himself to mentor all the newcomers with TPE tutorials and really tries to break down the learning curve to earning which many struggled with (including me). He truly is a gift to the VHL and I am sure responsible for retaining some of the newbies who might have otherwise walked away from such a fun experience. I truly believe @minman will be a great future GM someday and the VHL is lucky to have him.

Miami Marauder Press Conference- Week of February 2, 2025 Hey Marauders - Going to Hawaii on Sunday so getting this out early. 1. Armas Jortikka @kav is 20 points ahead of the next defender in the league. Is he a shoe in for best defensive player of the year? 2. If you’re a fan of the NHL. Which NHL club do you root for ? And who do you despise? 3. If you could choose between chocolate cake, carrot cake, or red velvet cake what would it be? 4. What did you think of this season’s Theme week? 5. Do you think an All-Star game in VHLM and VHL would be a cool season tournament? 6. Do you think there can be too much cheese on a pizza? I vote yes, my wife says no @Thunder

Dillos looking good!! Clown is spooky

The trade deadline looms in front of us and the post I had been waiting for to start this masterpiece just came out. ItItss Theme Week and my quest for that precious TPE to fight depreciation is upon us. The topic for theme week is simple, the Trade Deadline. Now normally it would be a topic that would fly right by me and irritate me that I really could care less, unless my player was on the block. But now that I am an assistant GM for the Miami Marauders that is still so clueless and usually hanging on @Ricer13 word to see WTF to do, it means a bit more. Now, the Marauders are rolling right now and currently in a locked battle with @rory Halifax 21s for the top spot in the Eastern Conference. But it has got me thinking about how to improve the team or if anything needs to be done at all. We have a great group of people in Miami that make a great locker room as well as a complete product on the ice. But hypothetically if I could make a few trades these are the ones I would like to explore: BAZOOKA JOE -D Philly Reapers - @ScottyP Now it's easy for me to want to pick a real-life buddy to join the Marauders to fill a need. The Marauders currently hold 3 amazing defensemen in Don Jagr @koty_k, Armas Jortikka @Kavadar, and Tina Hughes @tinafrombobsburgers. But adding some depth to the team might be what they need during the grind of the playoffs and a big burly dman like Bazooka could fill the role nicely. Philly is in the midst of a re-build and trading away a player like Bazooka might not make sense as he provides some depth for the next season or two as a decent earner and good build. And Philly needs defenders as it is rocking only two right now. So, this trade is a bit of a pipe dream (I think) but Bazooka Joe would definatly pair nicely with Armas Jortiikka or Tina Hughes to punish opposing foes all playoff long. Brigitta Sandstrom -D Saskatoon- @Acydburn Ok when I joined the league in S81 and I scoured the box scores trying to figure out WTF was going on in the VHL I saw the name Battre Sandstrom dominating the box scores on his way to the Hall of Fame. So, it Is without question the Marauders would LOVE to have a descendant of this player in Brigitta to join Miami as they fight for a Founder’s Cup. PLUS, this player already played 14 games in South Beach as a re-create it would be seamless. A true defender that is 3rd on Saskatoon in scoring with 25 points (6 pp goals) the belief is that on a team with a few more offensive weapons, Brigitta would be able to take some chances and flourish offensively while not having to be asked to do everything on the ice. Plus, Saskatoon would benefit greatly from some added draft picks or prospects for an outgoing player, destined for VHL greatness. There you have it. My uninformed and clueless AGM response to trade deadline fantasy desires of the Miami Marauders.

Great article! Logan is awaiting the police response! LOL

Fckin ANIMAL!!! Keep it goin!