JardyB10

My life goal! But seriously, I could also show you a couple of my uncles, if they weren't busy being dead. I'm just actually quite lucky I just like partying more than I dislike booze instead of liking both equally.

Bitch, I may not be able to out-drink anyone on any given night, but that's mainly because I have mild-to-severe alcohol intolerance and will often burn up and, at a certain point, my body will just flat out reject anymore alcohol. This is because my body doesn't metabolize alcohol properly and it builds up too much acetaldehyde; a chemical doctors actually give people to TREAT alcoholism because it makes drinking so unpleasant. In simpler terms, I SHOULD be the best candidate for Least Alcoholic. If we're being technical, I don't think I could ever ACTUALLY become an alcoholic, because my body rejects it so badly, and I don't even particularly enjoy drinking it as a result... ...and yet I still do. Like, way too often. Obviously every weekend, but from November-December there was a solid 6-week streak of Wednesday/Thursday funfests sprinkled in addition. And then fucking January... 3-4, 10-13, 18, 21-25, and 31st, which worked me into a temporary -$300 deficit, lol (and I mean those are days I was intoxicated, not just having a casual drink. I don't often do that, so I don't count those). It also often negatively affects my VHL job performance and thus puts a strain on my VHL relationships. Typing that all out made me sad. SO IF THAT ISN'T ALCOHOLISM I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! #drugsarebad

You can only earn points for your new guy, really. Sandow will remain on auto-pilot.

Nice! Welcome back ser!

The important thing here is that you were much better than Kellinger. #FuckKyle

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Who the fuck are you +1 for McAwesome Added Gifford Shock. Even though he's never actually been a player.

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It's never too late for stories about handjobs! What did that motherfucker do!? Can we kick his ass?

But yeah, I think the important bits of this thread have been covered. This is more of a situation of bad timing and misunderstanding. I didn't interpret any of Slobo's messages as being rude, so calling him a prick may have been pretty mean if it wasn't totally true. He got menstruation blood on his cat for Christ sakes. As for the gripe about re-creates having an unfair advantage, all I have to say is L-O-to the muthafuckin' L. But to as not be a dick, understand that once upon a time, there was no carryover cap. And players could get up to 15% of their old TPE back, instead of the 7 or 8% it's at now. And noobs didn't have this newfangled "first three PTs are doubled" rule. Indeed, there was less TPE floating around up for grabs back then, but the 1st gen to re-create gap was way bigger than it is now. That's the era my first player was borne. Plus I was even more unfamiliar with the league than you are, so I was almost entirely inactive my pre-draft season. Talk about a crippling and unfair disadvantage, right? WRONG. Wrong as fuck. I just did my PTs and pushed on, and hoped that maybe I'd be a good utility player and win a few Cups. Instead I forcefully shoved my dick in the league and became a Hall of Famer. Then everyone made the mistake of thinking I was a good guy and gave me all sorts of power and now I'm the Rob Ford of online sports simulation leagues. How's that for a happy ending? TL;DR: In the long run, these advantages or disadvantages mean dick all, and player success just comes down to the effort you put in, choices you make for your player, and plain dumb luck. The best way to get ahead in this league is being active, bottom line. Being friendly also helps. I'm not saying you're not friendly, just making a general point. A head grader might not select someone if that person has always been a cock to them, etc. I know that was just one of a list of things that bothered you, but it just stood out for me because I like taking opportunities to talk about how awesome I used to be.

A thread where we marvel at the overwhelming girth of Svboda's member. By member I mean penis., fyi. WHO ALLOWED YOU OUT OF YOUR CAGE??

Everyone else gets the V, Naomi IS the V.

So you're saying there should only be 2 players on the ballot then? I admit maybe 11 is overkill, that a few candidates could have been reasonably cut. Depending on the season, ~6 would probably be fine, this isn't the all-star game. I feel like it was more around that number back in the day. But for the most part, if we put them on the ballot, then they damn well have a reason someone could vote for them.

F that, Davos is the one team I've actively cheered against since S16. That's 20 seasons. That's almost 4 years. Holy shit guys, we're REALLY old... But I guess if they're gonna try and spread the total Cup gap on Calgary, it may as well be with me on board! If only David was still here, I'd be in heaven. Very much looking forward to re-joining Coach! Everyone else is pretty iffy, but they'll do. Helsinki, it's been a slice. I'll miss you all! Sort of! Now excuse me while I retake my Rigging 101 class.