Aimee

Jesse Teno continues to disappoint this season overall. Nowhere to be seen in the top 10 goalies this season, Teno is struggling to keep the wins coming. Goat Bot statistically has done better than them. Teno only recently made their way into the top 10 in Save Percentage and Goals Against Average. They hold a tie for 2nd in Shutouts and they sit at 1st in Assists with 3. It’s surprising that despite their first under .500 season, Teno has not racked up that many Penalty Minutes. It seems that maybe the veteran is able to keep their frustrations off the ice in a good way.

Jesse Teno currently has a record of 15-19-3, the first time they have ever had a losing record this far into the season. Along with Goat Bot, they have managed a 4 game winning streak and hopefully the upcoming games against DC and Waraw will give Teno a chance to rack up a few more wins.

162 words for week ending 9/17/2023

Disclaimer: This is satire and I love and appreciate everyone who works for the VHL and I have no ill-will towards anyone. Enjoy the dramatization of my feelings.

And on the seventh try of the seventh day of the seventh month, she was one again FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY for the job she so dearly coveted. Thou shalt not covet and yet here she is, coveting like no being had ever coveted before…

Or so the dramatic part of my brain likes to narrate it as.

Well, if you couldn’t tell, I’m going to talk about how I have been FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY every time I try to get the job of my dreams. Not just FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY, no. But scorned, ignored, overlooked, passed over, rejected, upstaged, neglected, disregarded! Thank you thesaurus.com.

There really is no other way to say it, I think. I mean, it’s clearly a malicious attempt to keep me from being able to control the flow of TPE to all of you innocent people who suffer week in and week out waiting days for updates to be approved. Yes. I want to be an updater. I have applied for the job multiple times and have spoken with prominent members of the community about how I would be a fantastic addition to the updater team. Yet every time I am passed along for someone who has been here much longer than I have. 

But what is it about me that makes me the perfect candidate for the updater job? Well that’s simple my dear reader; I’m online every single day in some capacity. I may not be active every day on the forum but I do check in constantly like a mother bird fawning over her baby chicks. I read and absorb and every time I click Update Player I am always smacked in the face with (1) or (2) or even (3)! A (3)! After days of suffering I am still waiting for those in control to release my sweet sweet TPE to me - their rightful owner. I have been scorned many times where I was in desperate need of approval so that I could apply said TPE and yet, it was the weekend and I could have made such a difference had the updaters just logged in and checked the que.

Do I know what really goes into the job? To be honest, no. I don’t know how simple or complex the back-end is and I cannot fathom the length of the que on a week like theme week. But, if I had the job, and I knew I had the ability to give some relief to players, I would do it. Even if it were just a small amount each day. It would make all the difference to how the updates slow down significantly mere weeks after the new hires have had their fun. 

I think it is time that people like me stop being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY by the hiring team and given a chance to do a job that many people fall out of doing. I would be worthy of the job TPE. I would do my fair share. I would check in every day. I would earn my keep.

Love you all and please hire me in the future.

541 words for week ending 9/17/2023

Just now, JCarson said:

We are half way through the season and have a 15-16-4 record with 80GF and 92GA.

 

1) Do you think we will have more than 15 Goals in the second half of the season, any reasons why you think this?

2 Will we have more or less than 16 losses in the second half, why do you think this?

3) Will we have more than 80 goals in the second half, why?

4) Will we have more or less than 92 goals against in the second half, why?

5) We sit fourth in the conference, do you expect this to improve, decline or stay the same, why?

6) Which player on London will have the best second half of the season, why?

 

1. Well I hope so! If we can get 2-3 goals a game, that will be easy to hit

2. Hate to say it, but I think more. Our lack of shooting is definitely our downfall at this point. And there are just so many good teams this season.

3. Doubt it. We really struggled to get the 80 we have now.

4. I think against. It's a rough one this season and I think all the other teams who have been out shooting us will just continue to do so.

5. Probably decline but I would be okay if we stayed the same. We might just eek out a wildcard round if we can.

6. I think Triller. He has just been amazing this season so far.

I cam as a hockey fan who didn't understand Sim leagues. So definitely others are out there. 

MANCHESTER, VT – This past weekend, I took a trip to the great state of Vermont to follow London’s starter goalie Jesse Teno while they returned home for Labor Day weekend. While not a holiday recognized by the VHL, Jesse was able to get away for a few days to spend some time with their family. It’s been a few months since they had been able to go back home and even the short trip seemed worth it. Jesse and their fiancé took up residence with Jesse’s parents and were spotted all over town. 

After flying late Friday night into Burlington International Airport, Jesse drove the two and a half hours home to Manchester to be with family. Their fiancé has been back in Vermont for a few weeks now, working on the upcoming wedding. She has been flying back and forth and can sometimes be spotted in London when she is in town to see the home games. 

On Saturday morning we joined Jesse at Riley Rink which, since we last visited, has seen all of its upgrades and renovations completed. It has been fully operational and open to the public for about a month now. This morning, however, Jesse had one more thing to add to the building that would make it truly complete. Along with the local coaches and some players, Jesse and the rink’s staff hung brand new banners for each of the schools and clubs that would be using the new rink. They also announced that they would be cleaning, fixing, and re-hanging all the old championship banners that have been among the rafters over the last twenty years.

During the day, Jesse and their fiancé went shopping, hitting up the famous Northshire Bookstore, the Eddie Bauer outlet, and a local pinball museum. They also enjoyed lunch at Thai Basil, an afternoon coffee at the bookstore café, and went home for dinner.

On Sunday, Jesse was back at the rink but this time in full gear along with a few dozen kids who had signed up for a one-day clinic on the ice. They warmed up with the kids, worked with the aspiring goalies, and even dropped their pads for a mock fight with a few college students. Jesse was also joined by some family who participated in a kids vs adults game, though Jesse opted to play as the kid’s goalie. The game lasted only about twenty minutes, but it seemed that everyone involved had a great time. Kids won 2-0, Jesse’s unofficial fourth shut-out of the season.

And on Monday, Jesse spent the day at home with their family. Mom and dad put on a large bar-b-que and invited a whole lot of friends from town. Festivities lasted all day with people coming and going. The grill was going all day, the pool was open, and they watched the town fireworks from their back porch and firepit.

Overall, it seems that Jesse had a great weekend home though now they head back to London to continue S90. 

503 words for week ending 9/10/2023

7 minutes ago, JCarson said:

Sorry for this being late

 

1) What is your players greatest achievement?

2) What is your players greatest fear?

3) What is your players favorite food?

4) What food won't your player eat? For what reason?

5) If your player had to choose a birthday desert, what would it be?

6) What is your players favorite color, is there a reason why?

 

Remember all answers must be in the form of a sentence, no one word answers.

 

 

1. The Kanou award!

2. Falling off into obscurity and being remembered as a one hit wonder.

3. Spicy pork and broccoli. Great pre-game meal.

4. Snails and some shellfish. Just too slimy.

5. Probably the Sahara? I think that would be cool.

6. Teal. No reason. Just an amazing color.

It’s been a slow week for Jesse Teno who has shared the net with Goat Bot and has had their fair share of struggles in net. London’s main issue continues to be shooting but it certainly seems to be wearing the veteran goalie thin who has done their best to try and keep their team in each game. London is 5-5-0 in their last ten, two of those wins being shutouts – one for each London goalie. They have once again managed to climb their way to the middle of the league rankings.

Teno’s stats, however, are some of the worst the goalie has seen so far. They are nowhere to be found in the top 10 wins, save percentage, or goals against average. The only places they seem to be shining are in losses (4th – 14) and in shutouts (tied for 1st – 3). And the only stat where Teno currently sits at the top is assists (3). 

It looks like it’s going to be a long season for the London goalie who is just trying to keep their team from missing the playoffs again this season.

186 words for week ending 9/10/2023

1 minute ago, Triller said:

Definitely!  I set my bar high and would like to keep it there but overall, it isn't very realistic.  These season reviews I am doing are a nice way to slowly put something together for end of season that will allow me to relax for a few weeks and ride that word count.  Subject and I need to get on doing some more podcasts as well.  I will have to pull back on the production of those a bit too just cause that first episode took longer to put together than I wanted lol

Agreed. I definitely think, for me at least, that podcasts tend to be easier but it is harder to think on the fly vs having time to edit what I write. Obviously I don't put a lot of effort into mine besides having a decent mic but I feel like that's all you need lol.

1 minute ago, Triller said:

Yeah, I can feel this.  I am running out of unique ideas and I could lay back and reuse some stuff but I don't yet want to fall into that.  I want to challenge myself but at a certain point I need to take the easier road.  I plan on max earning till Leonard retires but after that I will definitely be taking a break to think about what more I can bring to the league.  I've got bigger ideas but not the time to flesh them out so they are on the backburner until I decide to come back.  A week is never long enough to put in the effort I want to put in for certain things.

 

Everyone has their threshold and knowing what it is and when to pull back is important.  Glad you are keeping track of yours!

It's probably also a first-gen mentality. We both came in with ideas and really successful content and players and so then, when you're up and coming and are getting all this praise, it feels like there's an expectation to continue to produce high quality content every week. 

25 minutes ago, Will3 said:

That happened to me the first time I discovered sim leagues. Also explains why I quit. It took about a year away then came back with a different Discord handle. Came back slowly to some of my other leagues. Thank you for posting this.

Glad you were able to come back! But yea, I think it's important for people to know that this is just fun and that there's no shame in taking time for themselves. 

Today I want to talk about mental health and the VHL. One of the first things that I was warned about by Shindigs when I joined was that I should make sure that I don’t push myself to the point of burnout. I had been quickly producing a lot of content every week, maxing out, and always writing both .com articles and media spots. I was so into it that I wondered how I could possibly burn out. It’s not like I was putting the effort in daily or how I put effort in at work. I was simply creating some content at the start of the week during my down time, and it took maybe an hour total of my whole day (aside from a few where I pulled stats and had to use my big person brain). Now, I’m not saying I’m burned out. Clearly, I’m sitting here writing a media spot. But I have taken to doing the occasional podcast because it does take less time for me to make a 15-minute audio file vs figuring out what to write 500 words about and how.

Of course, all of this to say that I’m not going anywhere and that I’m perfectly fine would be a half-truth. I’m not going anywhere. But I wouldn’t say that I’m doing perfectly fine either. Between my personal life and work, I’ll admit that lately it’s been hard to keep myself coming back every day. Now, I can explain it all in 4 simple letters.

ADHD.

For those who don’t know, ADHD comes with a wonderful thing called hyper-focus. Wherein, a person with ADHD finds a hobby, subject, activity, etc. that piques their interest. They then dive headfirst, 100%, into that thing and don’t come up for air until their gremlin brain decides that one day they no longer want to think about the thing or do it. So of course, as someone who was diagnosed a little over a decade ago (too late if you ask me), I went into this knowing that I was going to hyper-focus and I felt it when it happened. I will say that thankfully, my decline in hyper-focus was gradual instead of a cold turkey crash. That has allowed me to want to continue with the VHL and all of its aspects. 

But it has made me realize that slowly over the last few months I have either a) struggled to find the time and energy to write so I take Welfare, or b) produced content later and later in the week. Originally, I had started shifting to writing and posting mid-week because someone had told me that most content gets dumped early and late in the week and that the mid-week was usually lacking. So, I pushed off until Wednesday or Thursday. Now, I find myself writing and posting on a Friday because life is just messy at the moment and when I come home from work, I rarely have the energy to do anything but read or scroll TikTok endlessly. I’ve also been struggling to figure out what to write when Jesse’s story is the same season in and season out with only a few changes here and there. I have lost some of the passion that I had when I joined a little over a year ago and I do find it hard to keep making original content every week.

All of this to say that there is no shame in losing that hyper-focus or even the love for the VHL and that you should do what is best for you mentally. I have seen a few instances of people come and go in this league who very much have some mental issue that they are working through or dealing with, and I just want to remind everyone that it’s just a sim league and if you need to step away for your mental health, you can. There is no shame in becoming a clicker for your own benefit if it’s what you think works for you. I have taken Welfare a few times and yes, I feel yucky about it, and I feel like I’m letting my team down by not max earning. But honestly, after getting into a car crash 2 days ago, and while being in the middle of wedding planning, I’ve accepted that there are things more important than how much TPE you can earn in a week.

Step back. Evaluate your mental status. Take a break if you need to. But don’t over-produce content just to make others happy. 

If anyone out there needs someone to talk to, you can always shoot me a message.

778 words for week ending 9/3/2023
 

Welcome to the league! Looking forward to your future posts. 

Jesse, you got your first shutout of the season last night, how are you feeling about it?

Great, honestly. As I’ve said before, shutouts are kind of a goalie’s number one goal in terms of best stat so it always feels good to get the first one of the season out of the way. 

Last season you had your first shutout during Game 8 against Warsaw and this season it was Game 10 against Chicago. Do you think this is a sign of regression?

Honestly no. Shutouts are a mix of hard work and puck luck so I don’t think getting it later has any real meaning. If I went half or more of the season without one, then maybe I would think of it as something to be concerned about. But for now, I think I’m still in my prime.

How are you feeling about the scoring issues in London recently?

It’s hard, I won’t lie. I know the guys are trying so it’s not like it’s anyone’s fault. Again, I think it comes down to a lot of puck luck. It’s amazing how many dingers I’ve heard between last season and the start of this one. 
 

198 words for week ending 9/3/2023

21 hours ago, JCarson said:

Welcome to our next press conference for the week ending September 3 2023

Just a reminder that one word answers are not allowed, even if the question can be answered that way. Think of this as an end of game press conference with your player, you aren't going to be invited back if you don't say anything.

 

 

So let's begin:

1) Tell me one thing your player is working on in practice this week?

2) Why do you think we are struggling with scoring?

3) Is there a question you have always wanted to ask Jacob but haven't, what is that question?

4) As Captain I don't do much, is there something I could do that would help you improve, what is it?

5) You are put in charge of buying welcome gifts for our new teammates, what do you buy and why?  If you are a new teammate what do you hope to get and why?

6) VHL Discord general chat, do you spend time there, do you talk or do you just watch, why?  If you don't go to general chat wat is stopping you?

1. Just maintaining their in-net presence in order to try and continue to give their teammates a chance to win games.

2. Honestly, not sure. I know everyone is working hard so maybe it's a matter of luck and it's not been on our side lately.

3. You love Goat Bot more than me, don't you? 

4. Bring cookies to the next practice! I hear Wolanin was considering sneaking off with us so I think that would get him to come around.

5. I would buy everyone a dinner out so we could all get to know one another and just relax. I would like money, please and thanks.

6. I check in once in a while but I've had it muted a little over a year. It was always so random and definitely the home of the trolls. Never really appealed to me.

Come to London. We have cookies (and need goals). 

One week into the S90 season and the London United are 2-2-1. While not the best start to the season, it is also not uncommon for this current iteration of the team. London has, at least for the last few seasons, struggled to find their footing during the early part of the season. 

Jesse Teno is once more calling the net their home, only backed up by Goat Bot. It is uncertain whether S89 draftee Devon Giguere will be backing them up next season or not but for now, London must continue to rely on Teno to take them game to game.

Returning on the offensive are skilled veterans Leonard Triller, Igor Molotov, Molly the Cat, and Sock Monkey. All had very good previous seasons, but the shots took a downturn in S89. We are hoping that this season will prove to be different. New to the offensive are rookies Nick Sansoe and Thor Odinson who both had amazing production down in the VHLE and hopefully their skills will translate well in the majors.

On defense, we have The Board Game Clue on Skates and Hunor Solyom returning along with a recent pickup in Deron Nesbitt who has been shipped around through the VHL nearly every season, London being his 7th team over his 9-season career. He was acquired in a trade with Moscow in exchange for right winger Adam Rage and a S92 2nd round pick. The defense is also joined by rookie Jack Jeckler who, like the other rookies that have moved up, had a successful 2 seasons in the VHLE.

London was also busy picking up options and resigning prospects who are still making their way through the VHLM and VHLE; 7 players in total.

London’s favorite goalie and Daisuke Kanou winner Jesse Teno has struggled through the first five games of the season, letting in 14 goals total on 175 shots. With a 0.92 save percentage and 2.72 goals against average, Teno is going to be feeling this battle back to a good position. 

The team is sitting in 6th in the European Conference and 12th overall in the league. While one of the worst starting standings for the team in a few seasons, I think London in the past has shown that they are capable of pulling themselves out of the bottom to have a successful season. Given what happened in S88 though, I still think it would be foolish to assume that this team is past their prime completely. With 7 players becoming unrestricted free agents next season, this may be, however, London’s final chance to make an impact with the team as it is. The rebuild is around the corner but it is not here yet. While it is possible that some or many will re-sign with London for their final year, it’s more realistic that that will not be the case and London will need to shed players in favor of cap space and bringing up prospects and bringing in new draftees.

However it goes, we think that London still has a chance to make this season a good one as long as the team keeps doing what they’re doing and continue to work hard.

533 words for week ending 8/27/2023

Congrats to our captains! And thank you for the honorary A.

This past week Jesse Teno participated in the ProAm tournament. They were drafted 8th overall by the Bayern Munich Fish, GM’d by Eric White Jr. and were the first goalie drafted in the tournament. Jesse was out to an amazing start, helping the Fish to a 10-1-0 record on the first day. They shared the net with Connor Strome but after the first day played every game through to the end of the tournament. Jesse led their team to a final record of 25-12-3, coming in second behind the Maui Stingrays. No surprise there given that Maui had Lachlan Summers in net. The Fish eventually came in third overall, taking home the bronze trophy.

Jesse overall ended the tournament as second overall goalie with a 25-11-3 record, 0.926 save percentage, 2.19 goals against average, 4 shutouts and 1 assist. Overall, definitely a good showing for the veteran goalie who is going into S90 hoping to lead London back to the playoffs before a rebuild begins.
 

167 words for week ending 8/27/2023

6 minutes ago, JCarson said:

Your math is off, we play 72 games and you have 64 accounted for

unless you are suggesting the other 8 are the bot which would make London's final 48-18-6

Lol yes. My math was wrong. I'll blame my current headache

4 minutes ago, JCarson said:

So season 90 begins, we will have a predictions Press Conference

Please predict the following for our team

 

1) Who on London scores the most goals

2) Who on London has the most assists

3) Over under, does Jesse Teno get 36 wins

4) What is the record of our back up goalie this season

5) How many Overtime losses do we have this year

6) How many player awards does London earn in season 90

 

Bonus question - what will be our regular season record for season 90

1. Igor!

2. Board Game Clue on Skates!

3. God I hope Over

4. Goat Bot better be 100% wins

5. 6

6. 4!

Bonus: 40-18-6

4 minutes ago, fishy said:

Yeah, kinda -- you can import your Goodreads library, which was super easy. The shelves translate too StoryGraph, too.

 

For the recommendations, you can fill out an interest survey (that you can modify at any time), and it'll give you recs based on that. I haven't used the rec function yet, but it looks solid. Not sure if @aimkin or @Otis Boudreaux Jr have used it before, but worth asking

 

Another notable perk of StoryGraph is that there are graphs that show trends in your reading history. I love graphs.

It's definitely based off of your library, your tbr, and books you've read. I think it gets better the more information you feed it. But yes, at any point you can tell if if you're in the mood for something specific and it will spit out recs that fit what you're looking for. 

2 hours ago, fishy said:

also just created an account on StoryGraph, already prefer it over Goodreads!!!!!! fuck amazon

Whats your username? 

So proud of you, friend! 

Been on a reading/listening tare this past few months. I had a goal to read 10 books this year and as of right now, I've read 17. I'm leaving my goal at 10 though because I want to see what % over 100 I can get it to lol.

I read my sister's middle grade book but excuse me for not sharing the name just to keep privacy lol. It was okay. Not for me but I think kids will enjoy it.

I also listened to The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe because I had never read either and they were both quick audiobooks. I really just wanted to knock those classics off of my list.

At the moment, I am slowly making my way through One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston, when sleeping at my parent's house I've been picking up A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas, and when I can get it back on Libby, I'll be continuing 2nd Chance by James Patterson. I don't care for Patterson but I watched the one season of Women's Murder Club, fell in love with the characters, and then fell in love with the first book.

We’re catching up with S89 Aiden Shaw nominee and 2nd All-VHL Team member, Jesse Teno. 

After winning the Kanou last season, how does it feel to come short of an award win now?

It’s okay. Never feels great to miss out on winning but being nominated alongside Clueless Wallob who dominated the season and Ash Sparks still feels good. Wouldn’t have minded a win but I can’t blame the voting board for Wallob’s landslide victory.

Being named to the 2nd All-VHL Team must feel good though, right?

Of course. That in itself is still an honor. I know I struggled this season, especially compared to last season’s run but it feels good to know that the league believes in me as a player.

Any thoughts on how this upcoming season will go?

Hopefully better than the last. It would be nice to get back to the finals but I know we’ve struggled on the offensive. I just have to hope that I can keep it together in the net and give my team a chance to win.

177 words for week ending 8/20/2023