Aimee

London United Presser week ending June 16 2024 1. We're firmly into the season and looking pretty good. What's one thing you think we need to improve on? 2. We're 2nd for +/- goal differential with a +29. Do you think we'll be able to eclipse Seattle who has +32 soon? 3. Have you kept an eye on any of the London prospects? Who do you think it going to be a key factor for the future? 4. Triller needs 64 more points to overtake his old teammate Molly the Cat for 2nd place in London United history. What do you think the odds are that he pulls it off? 5. With where we stand, what do you think our odds are of making it to the finals this season? 6. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Oh damn it has been a hot minute since I've done a graphic. It is still definitely not my strong suit. Yes I know about the tip missing. I couldn't get the other one to flip and not look stupid lol.

1. Ahsoka likes to meditate on the opposing team's bench to mess with their heads. 2. Yes! Can't complain about 1st overall! 3. Probably 2 draft picks for a high end forward. 4. Yes! So proud of Ahsoka for getting into less fights and scoring more goals. 5. Dancalot probably. She's really fighting for those goals. 6. Hopefully Ahsoka! But I guess we'll have to wait and see.

With 12 games played in her first week into her rookie season, Ahsoka Tano is already making a name for herself. With 9 goals and 8 assists for 17 points, Tano is currently 5th in goals, 2nd in overall Defensemen, 2nd in shots blocked (26), 1st in Power Play goals (4), and in a multi-way tie for 2nd in Game Winners (3). Overall, she is the number 12 player in the VHLM and shows no signs of stopping. Tano is also +1 with 30 shots, 8 penalty minutes, and 18 hits. It’s looking like since her time in Mexico City she has cooled off a bit in terms of getting penalties. It could also be the team she is now surrounded by. “I think my time in San Diego is going to prove really good for my gameplay. We have a great team going right now and I see us getting really far this season.” 155 words for week ending 6/9/2024.

You're going to do amazing things this season!

To my few Mexico City fans – Thank you for having me and cheering me on, even if it was for just a short while. I truly enjoyed my time playing in and for your beautiful city and it is an experience I will never forget. Thank you for welcoming me with such open arms near the end of the season and for being the home for the start of my career. Without you I wouldn’t feel as good as I do. I promise to return to Mexico City to spend some more time getting to know the people and the city itself. Your culture is so beautiful, and I wish I could immerse myself in it more. One day perhaps I will come and live here after I retire and spend a few years enjoying myself. To the Mexico City staff, crew, and team – Thank you also for opening your arms to me. Coming not only into a new league but a new country was one of the scariest things I have ever done, and you all were so kind and gracious. You opened your homes and your hearts to me, and I will be forever grateful. You will always be my first hockey family and I will treasure that forever. I look forward to returning to Mexico City with the Marlins because then I can see you all again. To San Diego and it’s fans – Thank you for the warm welcome! I don’t know if I was your first choice for the admins to make but thank you for cheering anyway. I promise that I will do all that I can to make you proud of this team and me. I am very much looking forward to spending this season working my ass off for your guys and I hope we can make you proud of this team. I cannot wait to see what San Diego and its people have in store for me. The weather, the beaches, the shopping. I have only seen it on tv and in movies and I cannot wait to get out and explore. To San Diego staff, crew, and team – Don’t let my kind demeanor fool you. I will be a badass on the ice and I will fight like hell to get this team across the finish line at the end of the season. We are going to be a force to be reckoned with and every other VHLM team should be careful about how they approach us. I promise that I will work hard and be the best defender that I can be. I hope to prove that I was worthy of a first overall draft. And, even if I turn out to be a complete bust, I promise that it won’t be from a lack of trying. I will give everything I have and more to be the defender you deserve. Thank you also to the VHLM as a whole for allowing me to join your organization and for helping me get to where I am. 506 words for week ending 6/2/2024

1. Easy. I made a defender. Someone bring me up! 2. I think we have a really solid team to start the season off with and I'm looking forward to seeing how the team plays. 3. Not get so many penalties. Tano really needs to cool it. 4. Triller! He's been the most consistent and he's going to be the one that leads this team to victory. 5. Sadie St. Louis. I think playing alongside her would be amazing. 6. I think I liked the color differences better. But maybe that's just something I need to get used to.

With the first overall selection of the S94 VHLM draft, the San Diego Marlins select, #66 from Greenland, Defenseman Ahsoka Tano. Marlins fans in the stands cheered their heads off as Tano stood from her seat and walked up to the stage to shake hands with the League Commissioner. She looked stunned and thrilled at the same time as she put on her Marlins hat and freshly made jersey. She waived to the crowd before heading backstage towards the media. She was sat down at a table and the questions began. “Ahsoka, how does it feel to be first overall?” Amazing. Honestly, I’m shocked. I had no expectations of going first. Rumor mills were circulating that I was going at least top 3 but I had no idea how much I was wanted. “How do you feel about being drafted by the Marlins?” It feels great! I mean, it would feel great to be wanted by any team in the VHLM. I don’t know many players there but I’m looking forward to getting to know them. 176 words for week ending 6/2/2024

*she/they lol but all good. And Ahsoka is my first recreate! Next month I'll be here for 2 years.

Ahsoka Tano has found herself quite busy these last few days. Between participating in the JST and ProAm, she has also been fielding interviews and calls from GMs all over the VHLM. While she has expressed interest in staying in Mexico City should they draft her, it seems the defenseman would be happy to go anywhere she is wanted. “Honestly, I don’t mind who drafts me. Yes, Mexico City is nice, and I really like the management here, but I would understand if they either don’t want me or someone gets to me before they have the chance to bring me back. We’ll just have to see what happens on draft day.” Various outlets have been predicting Tano to go in the top 3 this draft and for any teams needing to bolster their defense, she seems like a good bet. Tano has been non-stop hard at work playing and practicing to ready herself for her official rookie season. 159 words for week ending 5/19/2024

Yes I know. I had debated. But since it *says* Spartan Sucks, I opted for that.

Well I didn't want to scare off the new people.

While the VHL Forums are crawling with guides and how-to’s, I have, since day one of joining, thought that the one guide we are missing here is a rundown of all the slang and acronyms that we use daily here both on the forums and in the discord server. So, I present to you: Aimkin’s Guide to Understanding VHL Veterans I won’t be covering the STHS attributes as, thankfully, the portal provides that information. GM – General Manager; runs the team. They come and go but some just stay and lose final after final after final. AGM – Assistant General Manager; helps run the team but usually just does press conferences. Or nothing at all. BOG – Board of Governors. Things that go wrong are usually blamed on them. Justified? Sometimes. PRESSERS – Short for Press Conference. Easy weekly 2 points if you just answer some questions. THE E – Refers to the VHLE despite having the same number of letters. THE M – Refers to the VHLM despite also having the same number of letters. FA – Free Agent; a sports term used to describe a player who is not currently on a team or contracted to join a team. They are available to be added to a team. S## - The letter S followed by numbers is how the VHL shows or talks about Seasons. $$M – One or two numbers followed by an M is the price of a contract for a player (generally considered to be in US dollars). TPE – Total Points Earned; these are the points that you receive for completing tasks and can be applied to attributes. TPA – Total Points Applied; TPE becomes TPA after it has been applied to an attribute. When depreciation hits, TPA will begin to differ from TPE as the Applied number will decrease, but the Earned will always be the total. MS – Short for Media Spot. This is a point task worth 6 points and is required to contain 500 words minimum. IA – Inactive; used to describe a member/player who has not earned TPE in a few weeks. BLUES/ COMMIES – Refers to members who are League Commissioners. Their names are Blue in the forums, hence the nickname. The other nickname is due to the perception that they are the overlords of the VHL along with the mods. OA – Overall; refers to the position within a draft. (1OA = 1st overall drafted, and so on.) CLICKER – Refers to a member who logs in to click the Practice Facility and Welfare/Pension buttons as their only interaction and earning within the league. GMOTY – GM of the Year. It’s an award where the GMs get to pat each other on the back for whoever they believe did the best job of not being bad. TDL – Trade Deadline. The day when trades among teams are officially over. Also signifies the day that retiring players can recreate. BLAME COLE – This one has lost traction in the last few years but used to be a loving way to blame everything bad in the VHL on one member. SPARTAN SUCKS – A loving gesture used in Moscow towards its resident GM. 515 words for week ending 5/19/2024

For week ending 5/19/24 Answer 6, get 2 TPE. Answer 3, get 1 TPE 1. Whole bunch of moves this off season including some new teammates. How are you feeling about the shuffle? 2. If you could bring one player to London (no limits) who would it be? 3. Do you think we have one more good season in us before the true rebuild begins? 4. If Jacob were to leave his GM position to one United member, who do you think it would be? 5. What do you think is going to be our biggest struggle this upcoming season? 6. Riddle: When is a door not a door?

Transaction ID: 11C6112772039845T $1 Million Player Store Doubles Week 5 uncapped TPE

*they're lol

Thank you, my friend. It was an honor to play for your all these seasons and I'm so glad we could give Teno a career no one will forget.

For week ending 5/12/24 Answer 6, get 2 TPE. Answer 3, get 1 TPE 1. Game 7. How are we feeling about our performance? 2. Are you planning to stick around with London through the rebuild? Or are you looking to check out greener pastures? 3. What do you think your player could have done differently in Game 7? 4. Any fun plans for the off season? 5. If you could bring in any goalie to take Teno's place, who would it be? 6. Are you on or off the London relocation wagon?

Happy to leave such a lasting imprint! Cant wait to see what we can do for London in your final season.

Jesse Teno’s incredible career in the VHL has officially come to an end. With the final game of the S93 Continental Cup Final played, Jesse Teno has cemented their legacy as one of the greatest goalies of all time. For the London regular season franchise, Teno is first in Wins (253), second in save percentage (0.928), third in goals against average (2.42) and first in shutouts (32). For the playoffs, Teno is first in all categories: 51 wins, 0.936 save percentage, 2.42 goals against average, and 9 shutouts. Truly a legacy that all future London goalies will be striving to beat. “I just want to say thank you to every teammate, coach, and GM I have had since joining the VHL. These past 9 seasons of skating around with the pros has been the true highlight of my life. I want to thank Bo Johansson for being a great role model and friend at the start of my career back in Saskatoon, Lachlan Summers for being an incredible friend to practice with and push me to be my best, and Jacob Carson for being an incredible GM and mentor these past few seasons. I honestly don't know where I would be today if it weren't for them. But also of course my teammates who have been through it all with me. Especially Leonard Triller who has been there beside me almost my entire time in London. I feel like we've become brothers. The VHL has become my family and I am so honored to have been offered the goaltending coach job here in London. Continuing to build my time here and help future goalies become great sounds a lot better to me than straight up retirement. And finally, I want to thank the fans who have had faith in me whether it was from day 1 or only yesterday. I'm sorry we let you down in my last chance at another cup but honestly, it was still an amazing time. You have all pushed me to be the best player I can and I appreciate every single one of you for cheering me and this team on. You are all what makes us United.” — As a first-gen who knew nothing about sim leagues, I cannot believe where I was able to get my first player. Getting here and having Teno be the player that they ended up being was not something I expected. I started 2 years ago not knowing what I was doing but somehow managed to use the advice of friends to get the stats where I wanted them to be. Teno was an experiment gone right and I couldn't be happier. I mean, would I have liked to see them go out in a blaze of glory to win their final final? Sure. But getting to game 7 is always a great consolation prize. I don't know where I'd be without the VHL. I have met so many amazing people who have become my friends and I can easily say that I've never had this much fun in an online community. Y'all have been incredible to me and I cannot wait to see what the next 2 years brings. @Shindigs @kirbithan @jacobcarson877 @Triller