The "Nice" Watch Report

[JardyB10 4,834]

Camden, NJ (PP) - Our universe has been around for an untold amount of time. Throughout the aeons of our existence, few things have stayed entirely constant. That being said, one of the things that has managed to stay persistent throughout our entire history is the coolness and hilarity of the number "69". The mere utterance of the integer will result in at least someone believing it is "nice."

 

As a league that tracks statistics, the VHL is rife with 69 opportunity. Just today, @okochastar Julian Nousianen of the Chicago Phoenix managed to be the first player in S80 to net 69 assists. Hockey experts unanimously agreed that this was nice, and it will likely be a handful of games before another player can manage this feat. Here are some other important nice figures from around the league at this exact moment.

 

- There are currently two players in the VHL that are sitting at 69 points, and appropriately enough, that honour belongs to sexual duo of @rory Jeffrey Pines and @Quik Christian Mingle.

 

- @Mistxh J Nicholas Mariani, the league favourite to win the Dustin Funk Trophy this season, has been doing so by scoring at a 9.69% rate. Nice.

 

- Speaking of stellar young players and award favourites, rookie of the year candidate @MattyIce Matty Fire currently sits at 69 shots blocked as a forward. Very nice.

 

- Keeping up the theme of excellent young players, but this time one who ISN'T a little bitch, Moscow Menace standout @Seabass The Seabasstard is slugging up the league with 269 hits. Nice.

 

- The second most overworked forward in the league is @Tate Red Lite, who is averaging 30.69 minutes per night. Nice.

 

Most impressively of all, however, is the production of @16z Kasper Kankkunen. As was exposed on the latest Chodesode, the Swedish defender has posted 69 assists in the past THREE SEASONS, and his current pace puts him within range of a 4th. Speaking with General Manager @JeffDowney, the team's plan is to have the defender on the ice as much as possible until he reaches the milestone, and then scratch/rest him for the rest of the season to have him in prime shape for playoffs, and also to keep this illustrious achievement intact.

[mattyIceman 1,039]

Nice