rory 1,759 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Dearest VHL nation, if you are like me, an average purveyor of the internet, you may have come across creatures known as "Vancouver Canucks fans". These absolute cretins come out of every orifice from the depths of hell every 15 years or so. From the online discourse, me, and and many others, have come to the conclusion that Vancouver Canucks fans do NOT know ball. Especially following the discussion after Vancouver Canucks defender Tyler Myers threw a wild elbow to injure an opponent last night, their baffling lack of hockey knowledge has always been a major sticking point in my head. With their very foolish hockey opinions backed up by cherry picked Jfresh and Dom lzuxckeusdms "player cards" that focus on irrelavant advanced stats like rWAR% (seriously what the fuck. this is a baseball stat. if you think WAR is relevant in anything other then baseball you are criminally insane), Canucks fans have created an echo chamber where bad opinions beget bad opinions, tricking their entire fanbase into the delusion. My hypothesis is that Canucks fans lack of hockey knowledge emanates from their lack of hockey skills. Everybody knows that hockey is a very intricate sport with a wide array of abilities used to succeed. In my opinion, the very base level skill in hockey is SKATING. So I posed the Canucks fans of the VHL a simple question: "do u know how to skate". The answers will SHOCK you! Spoiler @Beaviss - YES! (self reported as "not great") @MexicanCow123 - NO! @Moon - NO! @Ricer13 - YES! @Dil - NO! @v.2 - YES! Based on these findings, the average Canuck fan does NOT know how to skate. If we dive deeper into the numbers, however, a trend starts to emerge. Of the Canucks fans that self report their ability to skate, ZERO of them are natives to Vancouver's natural fan area. Beaver is famously a product of Sherwood Park, Alberta. Perhaps this is where he learned how to skate, during his time in OIL COUNTRY. Ricer, I believe, also has roots in Alberta. version 2 is from Newfoundland and/or Labrador. In fact, the Canucks were so afraid of having a bad performance in front of him they cancelled their game when he was in town! Lol! In the sake of fairness, I also contacted some fans of the Edmonton Oilers, a good sporting fan base with no flaws whatsoever. This is my control group, so we can compare people of the same general demographic (i.e. nerds that are on VHLforum.com): Spoiler @Banackock - YES! @oilmandan - YES! @Triller - YES! @KRZY - YES! @rory - YES! If we consider this unbiased, scientific information, we can come to the conclusion that Canucks fans DO NOT know how to skate, and DO NOT know ball. Please ignore any opinion that you may hear from a B.C. based Canucks fan, and allow them to continue living in their delusion. Thank you for reading. Triller, oilmandan, v.2 and 5 others 3 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MexicanCow123 894 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Agreed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triller 1,373 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Now THIS is good research! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Ricer13 2,592 Posted January 28 Moderator Share Posted January 28 Hahah this was a good read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oilmandan 686 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Seems like it’s case closed to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banackock 7,642 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rory 1,759 Posted January 29 Author Share Posted January 29 NEW DATA: @fonziGG - YES! Lived in berta so slide him with Ricer and beaver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaikoku-hito 1,645 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 The problem is the fact that I think you are missing a ton of Vancouver fans and rather have been selective sort of!! LOL!! Since I guess it still points out that majority of Vancouver fans that know Ball are from other provinces; which I would agree with most of the time. As a transplanted Vancouver Canucks fan; I learned to skate in Beausejour, Manitoba!! rory 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fonziGG 1,065 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 1 hour ago, rory said: NEW DATA: @fonziGG - YES! Lived in berta so slide him with Ricer and beaver Raised in Alberta lol. I'm a berta boy rory 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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