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Claimed:The VHL Bachelor: No Homo Edition, ep2 [Reviewed]

Banackock

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Banackock

Banackock 7,981

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The search for love is never easy and often comes with much trial and error Prior to successfully finding the one person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Now, thanks to us, the option for some people has become a lot easier as we embark on a journey to help people find true love. On the first ever season and episode of the VHL Bachelor, we introduced our strikingly handsome, wealthy and bad ass bachelor in @Draper (who just also happens to be from Canada, ladies - just in case you missed it, well remind you again). Unfortunately, due to budgeting reasons, we've decided to cut the contestant amount of 10 down to 6, however, this will only help Draper eliminate skanky whores in the process. These women will be pursuing his interest, his heart and his credit cards. However, the trick is that he just like you. He hasn't the slightest idea who the contestants are, but that's all about to change. Now, for the moment a very few limited of you have been waiting for, your Season 1 VHL ladies.

 

ADwyer87 @ADwyer87

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ADwyer resides in Denver, Colorado and currently works for a modeling agency. Along with that, she compete in hot dog eating contests throughout the year (so we can imagine her deep throating skills are up to par) and loves to get down and dirty. You can find her wearing very limited clothing on the back of a boat catching some rays, or wearing tight as lulu lemon pants walking her Yorkie puppy, Duckie. She enjoys the odd bong rip on a Saturday night while sharing a bowl of cereal with her girlfriends and has been giving guys boners since 2007. We feel it's safe to say she's a shoe in for the Top 3, but what the hell do we know. If Draper knew what was good for him, he'd keep her around. 

 

Boubabi @boubabi

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They gave us Croissant's, the hair dryer and this beautiful thing. Bonjour, all the way from France or whatever. Brunette, blue eyes and the body perfected by Zeus himself, she could very well be another potential top 3 candidate. What's that? This shows like soft core porn, get used to it. Boubabi works and owns a small bakery on the streets of Montreal, Quebec now and may have already won the heart of Draper simply for being from his native land. She spends her Saturday nights in front of her 55" TV, yelling "For fuck sakes PK. Do something!" and "This is what happens when Price gets fucking injured", as she roots on her Montreal Canadiens on hockey night in Canada. She's bilingual and will French kiss more than just your tongue. We'll see how she works on Draper with those skills.

 

JPL  @JPL 

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Then we have our 3rd contestant who is currently walking up to the house. JPL lives in the big Apple and is employed to pour coffee for your average, everyday folks and one of the many Starbucks in the city. One of the first thing she said when she walked in was "I wasn't sure if I would be able to bring my cat, so I brought both. They eat their own shit though, so you don't have to worry about the mess". She enjoys playing the flute, tuba and cow bell and is currently trying to make her own wine in her grandmother's basement. Those close to her say she's "never on time", can go missing for weeks and has multiple personalities. "It's like she recreates herself everyday" said her mother.

 

EaglesFan036 @eaglesfan036

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Her personality and skin is as thick as those eye brows. She has an "I don't give a fuck what you think about me" attitude and does whatever the fuck she wants. She lives in Tennesse, and is a single mom to two, both children coming from separate fathers and she's currently unemployed. When asked about her employment situation she stated "My little girls baby daddies pay 300 bucks each a month. That's enough to pay for my hair, to get my nails did and enough green paper left over to get them kids some mac and cheese for suppers". Her father is an alligator farmer and her mother is a an stay out home mother, who still tries to compete every year for the Dallas Cowboys cheerleader squad. If she's anything like her mother, the hair dye has fried the fuck out of her head and she's a complete dumb shit. Hopefully for Drapers sake, that's not the case.

 

CowboyinAmerica @CowboyinAmerica

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CowboyinAmerica is in the best shape of her life and by shape we of course mean she's perfected the perfect circle. She's currently a yoga instructor at her local gym in Edmonton, Alberta for elderly and plus sized women and says that she's on fire for dropping the pounds. "Ever since I stopped eating those chicken nuggets from McDonald's, I've felt better and have lost 6 posts in the last 4 months. Even my ex has started responding to my tweets and he never used to" she implied. With the amount of evident baggage she already has, there's mom. She lives in her moms trailer with her and pays rent in groceries and back massages. Hopefully she's able to steal Draper's heart and can move into his big old pad in Cali. He best buy another deep freezer though!

 

Da Trifecta @Da Trifecta

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Every show has their one black person at every moment it seems and the Bachelor is no different. She's fierce, tough as fuck and if she doesn't get what she wants, her brothers will come beat your ass with a pipe wrench or baseball bat. Her family grew up in the rough neighborhood's of Detroit and her father was collecting welfare for her entire childhood. She lost her mother to a murder case when she was 12 years old and since, her brothers have been her guardian angel. Despite the troubles, shes turned out to be a sexy black panther and she's looking to come in here and literally steal Draper's TV while he sleeps  heart. 

 

Now that you've met the women, we'd like for you to predict and tell us who you'd like to see Draper end up with. Although it won't alter the show in anyway, your opinion always matters. If you have ideas or anything to add to the Bachelor, feel free to message us VIA my inbox yo. ANNNNNNNNND on next weeks, The VHL Bachelor: No Homo Edition Episode 3, We hear Drapers thoughts on the women, we get to see the first moments that each of the women meet one another and we get to see the girls live one on one first conversations with Draper. Stay TUNED for next Saturday. GET HYPED!:applaud:

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The VHL Bachelor: No Homo Edition, Episode 2 (Claimed for the week of April 25th to May 1st)

 

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enigmatic

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3 hours ago, Banackock said:

She spends her Saturday nights in front of her 55" TV, yelling "For fuck sakes PK. Do something!" and "This is what happens when Price gets fucking injured", as she roots on her Montreal Canadiens on hockey night in Canada.

 

I'm from Montreal and I can confirm this is what we all do on Saturday nights.

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