Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I can see it....

 

I can smell it...

 

Can I touch it?

 

Will you tell it?

 

Here I am!

 

 

 

 

Did you know that dolphins have the most overrated intelligence of any species? People speculate a high level of brain activity from these creatures, however most of their supposed intelligence comes from their ability to memorize. True statement. Or is it true? One thing is for sure....the beer shall flow down the streets as people riot, we all violently bash towards the center of a big gashing societal wound. The wound of indifference, of despair, of prejudice. Middle class, lower class, we feed on the society of elite and ultimately we become the dolphin! 

 

Me drunk is the most underrated intelligence of all species.

Hush now.

 

Hush? But I'm still drinking....I'll hush when I see a Unicorn named Roger dive into the abyss and jump out a pristine toaster. Shiny and chrome too! And he must have a setting for bagels because who the fuck uses a toaster for plain ass toast? 

Hush? But I'm still drinking....I'll hush when I see a Unicorn named Roger dive into the abyss and jump out a pristine toaster. Shiny and chrome too! And he must have a setting for bagels because who the fuck uses a toaster for plain ass toast? 

Don't you have some shelves to stock or something damn it

Hush? But I'm still drinking....I'll hush when I see a Unicorn named Roger dive into the abyss and jump out a pristine toaster. Shiny and chrome too! And he must have a setting for bagels because who the fuck uses a toaster for plain ass toast? 

 

Your grammar and spelling is too good for being drunk. Or your autocorrect is.

Your grammar and spelling is too good for being drunk. Or your autocorrect is.

 

There is no autocorrect on a computer. I'm just naturally that good, or naturally that bad?

 

I had Sunday night off thank you very much Smarch! Besides I don't stock shelves any more. My job consists of loading skids into a trailer, binning the occasional overstock and taking a lot of skids down from high steel and putting them back up. Given that I'm one of like 2 people who show up to my shift on a regular basis with the training to use all the power equipment i've kinda become the "power equipment" backroom guy. :P 

 

Also fuck Thrones. Also Fuck Unicorns, I rescind my previous statement on them. They seem like shitty creatures. What in the jesus fuck is the horn for anyways? To poke people? For weird kinky sex games? Anyway, more beer more beer more beer! 

Wow I'm actually drunk in one of these threads guess that's what happens when you're home from college and nothing to do when you get home.... but i have to sgtart working a 9 to 5 job next week so im sad

Edited by Ninetyfourgoalie
  • 2 weeks later...

Last night me and a few friends dressed up and had a fake bachelor party of sorts.

> It's 12:00am

> Attend Rain nightclub which has a gay bar under it

> It kinda sucks

> It's 1:30am

> Eventually attend gay bar to see if it's any better

> It isn't really

> At least the gays are nice people

> We close out the bar

> It's 3:00am

> While waiting for a cab I find myself talking to a decent looking young lady and her gay BFF

> I'm taken so I hook her up with other buddy

> Cab to other other buddy's place with the expanded crew

> It's 4:00am

> Girl and gay want to continue drinking at one of their friends place, so I tow along the guy I set up and offered to drive

> It's 5:00am

> Obviously these friends aren't actually still awake, so I just bring the three to my place for booze and after partying

> Buddy passes out so me and the gay dude Smash Brothers while girl watches

> He's way better than me

> We all have a heart to heart and drinks on the front porch

> Gay guy is drunk as fuck and is trying to cuddle my arm and trying to convince girl to bang me instead

> bitchplease.jpg

> We decide to get McDonalds

> Obviously they fuck up the order

> Get home once again

> I order girl to wake up friend and jump his bones

> I order gay guy to sleep his ass on the couch

> Orders received and carried out

> I go to sleep

> It's 7:00am

So now it's 1:30pm and there's still a strange gay man on my couch and probably jizz on my brothers bed. So all in all a successful evening.

  • Senior Admin

Lies, he simmed at some point during that period. Burn him!

 

No, I received a lovely PM entitled 'By the time you read this I may be drunk' that stated he was going to beer olympics and that I would have to simmer dimmer 

  • 2 weeks later...

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...