Who's who in Seattle

[Berocka 2,263]

 

Hello and welcome to getting to know the Seattle Bears. In this edition we will look at some of the players and what species of bear they best represent. There are 8 main types of bear in the world and 2 "fake" bears. Today we will look into who is which bear some might surprise you and some may be expected. I have an extremely limited knowledge of bears so I apologize for any inconsistencies or misinformation.

 

Sun Bear - Acydburn

 

Acyd Burn is the sun bear for two main reasons. Firstly is because the sun bear is known as having really strong legs which are good for climbing. Burn has helped Seattle climb the ladder this season finishing in the top of their conference. Secondly, the yellow markings around the neck are meant to signify a rising sun in folk-lore. Just like Burn has lead this team full of young rising stars as captain of the Bears.

 

Sloth Bear - Smarch

 

Sloths are known mostly for their lazy nature spending a lot of time sleeping and the same can be said for Low with most Bears not seeing him outside of the game. But sloth bears are also surprisingly quik and will always stand their ground. Much like Kevin Low who won't be seen for days on end but when he shows up on game day he surprises the opponent usually managing to score some quik goals.

 

Polar bear - Hogan

 

The biggest and most well known of all the bears just like Hogan. Using their white fur the Polar Bear can usually sneak up on its prey before it even sees the bear coming. Hulk Hogan is just the same on the ice when he will come out of nowhere and lay a big hit on you. Some inexperienced opponents might drop the gloves but that is the last thing they remember for that night. The undefeated heavyweight champion will knock them out, just like if a polar bear is in his natural habitat nothing can defeat him.

 

Panda Bear - Dr. Funk

 

Scott Greene is a lot like Pandas, being extremely likeable and deceivingly cute and cuddly. However even though he looks nice can easily defend himself if he feels threatened. Scott Greene is also known for showing off his Kung Fu skills around teammates making him the perfect Panda.

 

Asiatic Black Bear - Frostbeard

 

The Asiatic Black Bear is known in Japanese folk-lore to be the "Mountain Spirit." Not that Latvia is known for being mountainous it's the physique of Frostbeard that gives off that vibe. The Asiatic Black Bear is known as one of the most peaceful bears with it being mainly a herbivore. But it can become quite aggressive to humans who try and trap or kill them. This is the same as Frostbeard he is one of the nicest people you could meet but if you get on his bad side he will show you his true strength. He is a leader on and off the ice with his friendly personality, however teammates know they are lucky he is on their side of the ice.

 

Andean Bear - Esso

 

The Andean Bear is known as the spectacled Bear and Joel Yvonne is often seen wearing his sunglasses around after a big night. Commonly referred to as Drunk Bird because of one very interesting Friday night this one is an easy choice. Much like a man out on the town the Andean Bear is docile unless some approaches on his mate, and we all know him much Yvonne likes to go out on the 

 

Brown Bear - Zoiderberg

 

The Brown Bear is said to be extremely clever and smarter than they first appear. This is the case with Zoideberg, he’s knowledge of the game on the ice is unparalleled in the VHL. THe Brown Bear is also very hard to measure its weight as it fluctuates a lot. This sort of applies to Zoiderberg as his play style can also fluctuate depending on who is on the ice with him. If he sees a better scorer he will set up incredible plays. But he is also dangerous on defence.

 

Black Bear - Rayzor

 

Black Bears are known for their speed and also their amazing eyesight. This is the same as Rayz Funk the star goaler for the Seattle Bears. The American Black Bear has also surprised Zoologists as being one of the only animals who have increased their population and thrived in modern America. This is exactly like Funk who after moving to Seattle has really become a much better player. 

 

Teddy Bear - Banackock

 

Blake Campbell the GM of the Seattle Bears is known around the league as a tough man who speaks his mind. Most people believe he can be rude and mean. However much like a Teddy Bear the tough looking exterior is just a cover. Inside Campbell is a great leader who takes time out for each player to make sure that they are all okay. I know that all Bears are happy to have such a great leader.

 

Koala "Bear" - Berocka 

 

Two words… Berocka's Australian.

 

I hope you all enjoyed this incredibly factual article.

 

Spoiler

People I mentioned @Acydburn @Smarch @HulkHogan @DoktorFunk @FrostBeard @Esso2264 @HenrikZoiderberg @Rayzor_7 @Banackock 

 

[DoktorFunk 810]

Well researched and incredibly accurate. Hire this man for VSN.

[Banackock 8,160]