What You Need to Know About Drama, From a Self-Admitted Drama Llama.
With the current state of the VHL and SBA affiliation I though now would be a better time than ever to write an article on Drama. Those of you who know me here probably know that my username and drama have been synonymous for a while now. There was a time when I would deny that I was drama prone and chalk it up to bad luck but after a year and a half in sim leagues I can say it follows me like a shadow everywhere I go, which is why I feel like I have enough experience with the subject matter to have some perspective on the topic in general.
Why does drama occur in Sim leagues?
If I am honest there are quite a few reasons that emotions can get riled in sim leagues. I personally believe the most deep-rooted issues occur when 2 passionate individuals disagree about a fundamental issue that they can not reconcile. It can also be born out of teasing, hazing and members of a group not gelling with the whole. In sims we get a lot of different personalities coming to mingle in one place, that is a lot of opinions and point of views to consolidate. It is inevitable that differences in opinion or personalities will cause discussion and to a point this is a great thing that makes leagues fun to be a part of.
Traits that lend themselves to drama:
Passion – the dual edged sword that both makes communities awesome and causes different sides to clash. Where there is passion there is the possibility for things to go horribly right and mind numbingly wrong.
Caring too much - This personality trait belongs to the bleeding hearts of the world as well as the hard workers. These are the people that pour themselves into what they do and yes many of them do have passion. These are the people that invest time and effort into the league, they are entrenched in the community and want to see it and the other members they share it with prosper but differing opinions on how things should be done can cause conflict.
Self Confidence (EGO) – Self confidence can be a wonderful thing, It can give people the courage to take chances, get creative and ultimately create positive change. Many top members of our sim sites have this trait in spades, it is what allows them to decisively lead and guide the direction of the site. However, with self confidence there is always the possibility of developing an Ego, especially when you mix power into the equation. These egos can take on their own life and demand recognition for the “good work” they know they have done. When others disagree with the point of view of the Ego the situation inevitably devolves quickly as these passionate leader types dig in their heals and defend what they believe in.
Playfulness or Trolling- This one is obvious, but it is common to see on sim sites. The truth is that every individual has their own limits and that the playful things that we do to make this place fun may hurt another member of the site. Whether this is intentional or not it is often the root of minor squabbled but repeated negative interactions can build to cause larger issues.
How to stop drama?
Respect others point of views - Hear them out and validated what they are saying. It is ok to disagree but to know where they are coming from and let them know they are not being judged or under attack for their differences is key.
Clearly articulate your thoughts – It is ok to stop and think about what you are going to say in order to effectively communicate what you are thinking.
Notice when people have dug their heels in – this is usually a good time to disengage, you can come back to the conversation later when the issue is less hot or you have had time to regain any wild emotions.
Have some god damn empathy for others – and yes, I needed to phrase it like that. Often when we fight, we forget there is a human on the other side. That cutting remark that we are so proud of may have curb stomped their emotions. Self awareness of the situation is key, noticing when things are no longer moving forward is a perfect time to re-look at the situation. Is this something even worth fighting over?
Understand part of it is out of your hands – In any kind of fight it takes at least 2 to tango if you catch my drift what you say and do is on you, be accountable for your actions and don’t make excuses when you cross lines. That being said you can not control what the other person or people do in a disagreement, but you can control how you react to them.
Drama is not Innately Bad or Good.
Believe it or not drama has a good side; it can incite change and get people talking about the things that matter. Drama can bring like minds together as much as it can cause people with different opinions to take up arms against each other. Drama is a social lubricant that keeps things interesting, it is the car wreck you can’t look away from and it speaks the explorers in us. It dares us to question what is right and what is wrong. It tells us that it is ok to stand on our own and be individuals fighting for what we believe as much as it is ok to join a like-minded group and be part of the communal cause.
That being said, I think the thing for us Sim members to remember is that we all are on the same team. We all want to have fun here building our players and community together. Having a universal goal is a great way to unify a diverse group of individuals and in the end, people are more willing to compromise when they have a common objective.
Other things that contribute to drama:
Favoritism or Obvious biases
Unclear rules of conduct
Miscommunication in general (be direct and concise)
My 2 Cents on the VHL/SBA Drama...
To end this little Ted talk I will include my 2 cents on what is going on and god help me I will try to be funny about it because humour and music are the great equalizers:
VHL: needs clarification on what it will take to get things back on good footing
Literally this song came to mind when I saw the BOD in the affiliation Dissolution threat
SBA : Don’t shit talk your partners, reign in your staff (tough to do business with loose cannons), show us you have control of your staff. That you care and that you are willing to listen to our concerns.
SBA : This is about contributing more than members, tell us how we can make each other better. Show us the pros of this relationship that can help outweigh our differences .
VHL : Be direct with us and help us figure out what exactly you are looking for. In the end we need you to respect our individuality even in this potential partnership. We value loyalty, VHL has always valued them ride or die bitches.No issue should be too big to overcome, we believe in second chances.
In true VHL style, I decided to end this in a good spirited meme enjoy
BOD feel free to take this down if it is to edgy considering what is going on. Best of luck to ya'll
.png.ed69a7260a477fcf4feead7a0e4b7506.png)
Can’t say I was the biggest fan but i use to watch and seeing female wrestlers was what encouraged me to get into it in highschool. I have so much respect for those ladies that paved the way and the gif I posted definitely brings back the good feels @tfong make your move...
