Gustav

What? The Thunderdome being used? Nah, man, you have to be kidding. ...but yeah, here we are, because a few people decided to reply to my status update about this. Here's what we'll be doing. 1. Each week I will create a thread in the thunderdome, in which one member who I have selected to be roasted shall be made available for any and all roasting activity through the entire duration of that week. The timeframe shall begin when I post the thread and it shall end at approximately 11:59 PM EST on Saturday of that week. 2. Only members who sign up below will be roasted. To sign up, simply reply to this post, and tell me you're in. It is encouraged, but not mandatory, that you also provide a brief history of your time in the league, and tag those who you think may be interested in taking you on. There is no cutoff date, so feel free to sign up whenever you'd like--just tag me if you come in late. 3. To ensure that those who are being roasted are able to be roasted by most active members, those who sign up must have at least 250 posts to their name to be entered. 4. Absolutely no roasting of any members who have not signed up to be roasted. Also, an important note: this is a place for roasting, not personal attacks or argument. If you have a serious issue with someone being roasted, don't get into that. Don't try to start anything. For the roastee, too, be sure to take roasts with a good sense of humor. The Thunderdome does not exist as a place for drama. Keep this in mind. Previous roast threads: Nykonax Enorama Victor DilIsPickle Beketov McWolf Matt_O and HulkHogan eaglesfan036 Quik Let me know if you'd like to be tagged (or wouldn't like to be tagged) in future roast threads. Spread the word!

Honestly? I have no idea. I love writing these things, no matter what they're about. I guess as a matter of general principle, I'm going to have to go with the entire collection of articles I've written about Halifax and their satanic adventures. It's what got me into writing here in the first place. The highest-effort shitposts I've written have been fairly recent, too--check out the article I wrote about Halifax's new logo, or my most recent media spot on the Gustav Effect. My favorite article, though, is one that I don't think I'll ever surpass in terms of pure accuracy: Gustav's Mock Draft, where I somehow managed to predict over 40% of all draft choices made in the first four rounds of S66. I'll never be that lucky again. Nobody can top Callum MacElroy, but since he's not on our team I'm going to have to go with Shackleford. He's pretty good, though I'd bet MORPHEUS could beat him if he understood the game. I'd love to pick up some of my guys--Jeff Downey and Jaxon Walker look like good prospects right out of the gate, and I'm looking forward to seeing where they go. Sign with us. Do it. 14 goals, 61 assists. 142 blocked shots, 177 hits, and a +/- in the 20s. Sadly, I think my defensive numbers won't be the league's greatest when I'm in my prime, but that's because we'll be a great team by then. Signing Skinner was a good move, but it's going to take a lot more than what they have now to win a cup. There's a long road there, but with the right moves and a bit of luck it's within reach. I hope so. I used to love the guy, now I think he's worthless. If they don't trade him, I hope he can at least return to where he was a couple seasons ago. I'm conflicted here--I love toppings, and I think having the right combination of flavors can make a good pizza great. Pepperoni is a must-have. Black olives, mushrooms, sausage, you know the deal. Can't go overboard, though--it's still a pizza. I'd say any more than two tends to get in the way. Fortnite bad Check out Florentine football when you get the chance. I have no idea what's going on, and that seems to be the point. I will say that I have my opinions, but I won't name anybody here. I don't want to potentially alienate myself or other members. I'm a very quiet borderline-inactive welfare member of the SBA and EFL. I joined for the affiliate checks but haven't been able to make myself get into either.

I just screamed "TAKE ME TO FLAVORTOWN BROTHER" and shoved half a burger in my mouth. Powerful and compelling graphics, these are.

Helsinki Toronto Malmo Seattle

Malmo 5-3

THANK YOU QUIK

I've found it by the way @Sonnet

Hi beav

Let's see it!

You'll never believe it, but I don't believe I ever saved any of the old "Sonnet racist" ones. You got lucky this time boi

Forgot to comment with the Gritty emoji. Forgive me Gritty.

This was exactly a suggestion I made last season, I don't know why it never caught on... Also one of my suggestions, can confirm that this is what I was told. Would be interested in hearing what @Will thinks though. I'm on board with #3 too! Nice work @Positivefan036

Anyone can add to this at any time; here's where we throw in somewhat questionable images from Discord. I'll start.

Maybe we're just special? I don't know, ask Bek to name your backup YUKON CORNELIUS or something.

Wasn't Jardy also behind CGY G or whatever his name was?

In all seriousness, agreed. I'd like to know why as well. But somebody please bring back THE HOUND

More important question about CPU goalies: can we please bring back THE HOUND as the Mississauga backup?

Honestly, if you made the text a bit more visible this would be pretty decent. Sometimes it's just something minor.

What? My sexy defense rating didn't stop Moscow's power play? Inconceivable. Whatever. I'm playing well this season, I'm happy. Someone #fixthelottery please

Knocking off the Titans, and Garcia continues to do well on both sides of the rink? I can't say I don't like it. We're in better shape than last season, for sure. #fixthelottery

Our press conference for the week ending 7/21...answer all six questions here for 2 TPE. 1. How did your player celebrate our first win against Mexico? 2. Management have recently made a few signings. Where do you think we still lack depth? 3. Jeff Downey was named captain prior to the first game. Do you think this was a good choice? 4. What are your thoughts on the VHL so far? What do you like, and what don't you like? 5. What's your favorite point task out of all that you've tried? Any you haven't tried but would like to? 6. Describe your interests in five words or fewer. @hewasajazzman @JeffD @HanManHimself @Vuuna Haaka @Banana2311 @mmarcoux98 @maximlab @chrissyl93 @Liberty_Cabbage @Radcow @BaReZ_Regrets

Credit to @HulkHogan, who could probably make great use of this page if he knew it existed...

If we tracked those...ooh baby would I be tearing it up.

Hi there @redd3stroyer and welcome to the league! I'm GustavMattias, GM of the Mississauga Hounds, and I'm here to offer you a spot on our team. I can tell you that we're not going to be winning a cup this season, and we won't be very good. That being said, though, I can give you lots of ice time in every game, and you might even find yourself on our first line in good time if you stay active. We also have a very active, friendly, and supportive locker room, where you'll be able to get all your questions answered. If you'd like a team with a shot to win it all, I'd suggest that you accept the offer of another team, and even if that doesn't matter to you, I'd suggest that you wait a while anyway, just to see who offers what. That being said, though, we'd love to have you, so feel free to quote this post and say "accepted" if you'd like to come aboard! Welcome once again, and feel free to ask any questions you might have. Good luck! -Gustav