Gustav

Condition: If Thing X happens, Player Y and S80/81 HSK 4th are sent to HSK for S80 TOR 4th. Thanks a ton @Rayzor_7 for the talks and for making a deal which relieves me of my roster issues and opens the door to Davos competing this season and beyond. I'm not sure I could have asked for anything better to happen (even though it probably looks like I overpaid). Welcome @PatrikLaine to Davos!

Hello, everyone. This week's media spot will be a master class in speed-writing. Yes, I know the update deadline is midnight PST, but as this league's resident idiot, I'm going to challenge myself to come up with something interesting and write about it in the 25 minutes that I have before midnight EST. And, to improve upon things even more, I'm going to try to do that without an intro that shows off my bad case of diarrhea of the word processor. Let's get into it. I'd like to take this opportunity to officially announce the imminent arrival of the Davos Hype Train to VHL Central Station, a bit behind schedule but back as we hoped it would be in good time. Last time it came around, it took off really quickly, so here's hoping it sticks around a little bit longer this time. So why am I talking about the Davos hype train, you might ask? Last season, we finished 15th in the standings and I (almost) repeated my old league record of coming in last three times in a row (though many may argue that the first time wasn't my fault). At the moment, a casual observer would take note of the fact that we have a crowded roster and not many great, fully-developed individuals to boost it. And you'd be correct. However, also at the moment, there's a little secret behind-the-scenes work I've been doing in coordinating with other GMs...and though I guarantee nothing, and nothing is finalized yet, I am close enough to working some things out that I feel comfortable in coming out and boldly stating that Davos plans to be competitive this season. Specific details will be withheld, for obvious reasons--but you'll find out soon enough. Long story short, it is not guaranteed but likely that I will have at least a decent roster on paper for this season, and it is further not guaranteed but at the very least possible that I will have a decent record. LIVE UPDATE: Step 1 to Operation Get Good has been confirmed to be on its way through as we speak. Buckle your seatbelts. So, there we have it. Right after (or possibly before) you read this, you'll likely stumble upon a nice little trade thread in which I'm being called an idiot for doing what I did in the way I did it. Rest assured that it is, in my opinion, the right move to make--and perhaps the only thing I could possibly do as a starting point. If you remember the issues I mentioned earlier--those being with roster space and developed players and a certain excess of one and lack of the other, I'll be putting through a move in which someone is paid handsomely to give me a solid building block and take a lot of a certain crowded-roster issue off my hands. Whether you like us or hate us, a potential climb up the ladder by the Dynamo this season should be something to look out for (and possibly ridicule me for if it doesn't work, but that's something for another day). Anyway, I'm over 500 words, and it's 11:59, so let's get this hype train rolling.

In and can manage as well if you want me to

If you're any less thicc than the milkshake I brought home from Wawa I'd like to remind you that I have an itchy trigger finger and a short temper

AMERICA FUCK YEAH visit me if you thicc

*Gustav noises*

One day I'll combine golf and charity...I'll probably also shoot 579 so watch out.

Not only are you donating quite a bit...looks like you did great too! Love to see people making a difference.

Review: 7/10 The GIF is a great touch, and it's not something many people start with (it's not even something I know how to do myself). So lots of credit given for that (same for the skyline in the back; I think that's cool too. A couple things to improve: -Maybe put something behind the render (picture of the player) so he doesn't mix in with the GIF too much (it's not awful most of the time but toward the end of the loop it's kind of hard to focus on him). It doesn't have to be anything huge or complex, really anything creatively placed will do the trick. -Work on your text. Experiment with different fonts, sizes, and colors. I'm bad at text myself but white block letters are generally frowned upon. -Introduce a color scheme. Right now, I'm not seeing any colors that make this sig pop--maybe you could go off of the blue on his suit and put more blue in the sig, or maybe you could throw in some red/yellow/orange as a contrast. Some very interesting ideas in here, and I hope you'll expand upon this in the future!

Review: 7/10 I like the placement of the logo in the back and your choice of render is interesting and unique. A couple things you might be able to improve upon: -There's no real color scheme here--I see you made the jersey purple and the text is purple, but expand upon that. Maybe make part of the background purple as well. This would also help your render stand out from the background, which it isn't doing as well as it should as your background is just bright white with the Prague logo. -Your render takes up a lot of space, and in general that's a good thing...but here it's almost too much. The reason why you'd have a background in the first place is to make your foreground (the render) stand out more. If this were maybe 25-50 pixels wider off to the right, I think it would give you a more complete picture. Keep at it and always try new things!

For the week ending 7/11: 1. Today, the Warsaw Predators took home the Continental Cup, making them this season's champions! Do you have an opinion on who you would have preferred between them and Seattle, their opponents? 2. We've entered the draft lottery tournament! Do you think it's realistic that we can improve our chances somewhat with a good run here? 3. What are your predictions for this offseason? Do you think we take it slowly and try to continue what's been a gradual but promising development, or do we make some big moves and try to turn the corner into "good team" territory? 4. Anyone who's talked to me any longer than 5 seconds knows that I like to complain about my job. What's your worst work story? 5. Do you like your water cold or at room temperature? I personally hate it if it isn't cold, but I know a few people who would disagree... 6. You have until the start of next season to make your player the league's most-recognized name. What do you do to make that happen? @Grape @Berocka@jimmyallen93@Azlan @Ricer13@efiug @weekz @KC15 @Rocket @TheCHEESE @Ahma @Brrbisbrr

It kind of got old after the first few but there were a few great moments in these threads. why is everyone digging through my old posts smh

Bern got FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY imo but I guess I've made my opinions known in articles so I won't type out an essay here. Excited to see what happens here!

Review: 8/10 I get what you’re going for here, and I think the color scheme you followed (making it adhere very closely to the Kings logo) works well. Background looks nice and it’s a unique concept, which is great. Just a couple suggestions for improvement: -I assume the shadowy dude on the right is the main subject of the graphic. My eyes get drawn to just about everything else you’ve got here instead. I know it would be difficult to make a black space the main point of interest, but maybe move him closer to the middle or make him a bit bigger. -Speaking as someone who is awful at making text look good, experiment more with text. Maybe you can make yours look good by using two different fonts. Maybe you can rotate it so it isn’t purely horizontal. Maybe you can change the color of a word or two, or put some effects on the text layer to make it more than just a plain color with an outline. There’s no single right way to do it, so just try things until it looks cool.

Review: 7/10 Good job with the logo swap on the jersey, and very interesting placement on the pads. You have some cool ideas going here. It looks like you put something over the player render and lowered the opacity to make it more see-through…which is great, but the player doesn’t stick out enough. Look up what a layer mask is if you don’t know already and use that to make it cover up the “main” parts of the player (like his face and upper body) a little bit less.

I could claim job pay this week. I could get through the week without needing to write this, because I happen to be a GM and I do get paid for doing GM stuff. But…I haven’t checked in until now this week—because, as many of you are aware, I’m busy doing not-at-home things. So, it would be very hard to make the case that I deserve job pay for this week, as I haven’t done any GM stuff. Little people earning it is. I’d like to take the time to go off on an entirely unqualified Gustav lecture and emphasize the importance of being honest with oneself (because, let’s be honest, I am all out of other ideas). A common “house rule” in golf is to allow everyone one mulligan (do-over) every 9 holes, and it’s something I’ll follow on occasion and be completely fine with. I’m very close with someone who allows himself one mulligan every tee shot. I don’t care because there’s nothing on the line for me and I think everyone should enjoy the game however they want to enjoy it…but one day he’ll go out and play with someone who takes exception to that quite severely. So where’s the stupid preachy lesson here? Maybe you know someone here who likes to put themselves on an unwarranted moral high ground. Maybe you know someone who thinks they deserve greater recognition then they get. Maybe you know someone who goes beyond just being proud of accomplishments and crosses the line into never shutting up about those accomplishments (no, none of this is directed at anyone in particular. These are just examples). Maybe you’re reading this now and you’re honest enough with yourself that you see some of this in you. I know I’ve been guilty of all of this in my life, and noticing that in myself has (I think) helped me improve as a person. Enough with that; I’ve hit the quota. Have a great day/night/morning/evening/whatever.

I don’t know if this is actually going to be the case, but I don’t plan on going back and editing this part if I actually make something out of the article. I’m out of town this week with not much time to throw things together and am simply playing the “bang out 500 words for TPE” card because what little time I have to do things can still be wasted on being an Internet loser (I jest…mostly). That, and I’m on mobile. I hate mobile. So, if what you’re looking for is some in-depth research or analysis or something along those lines, click away now because you’ll be disappointed. With that being said, there’s some low-hanging fruit out there to be picked, and that is offering up my HARD-HITTING OPINIONS on PRESSING LEAGUE MATTERS and BLOWING THE MINDS OF THOSE LESS EXPERIENCED with things that have probably been said many times already in other articles and comments that I’m just too lazy to read. The low-hanging fruit, of course, is the same apple on a branch that turned into a watermelon on the ground within a couple weeks and by next season will be a potato that we have to dig up…that being everyone’s favorite third league, the VHLE. A couple HARD-HITTING OPINIONS are as follows, most of them grumbling because that’s what I do best: -I disagree with keeping Berlin as an option after the fallout (I believe the phrase officially used was “fair criticism”) over the first logo concept with the Steel. It’s like the NFL’s Washington Football Team floating around without an actual brand—sure, they made the right choice, but there will always be that bit of “we all know why the team looks the way it does.” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the current concept (in fact, I actually quite like it), but introducing a Berlin team will forever stick us with an embarrassing backstory. -I have the somewhat boomer opinion that we should stick with old defunct teams as much as possible. My ideal VHLE would have ZERO new teams. I ran over my reasons for not wanting Stockholm in the VHLE a while back in an article I’d link if I knew how to link it on mobile, but I’m more in favor of Stockholm than some of the—to put it bluntly—“dumber” concepts out there. -Here are the concepts I consider “dumber”: —>Paris Revolution. I find the name incredibly tacky and don’t understand why really anyone finds it appealing. Singular team names are generally abstract (think Minnesota Wild or Orlando Magic), while “Revolution” takes a concrete thing and just tries to slap it onto a team’a branding. While we’re at it, let’s rebrand Prague to the “Defenestration” (look that one up if you missed it in your history classes). —>Rome Gladiators. I don’t have as much of a big reason to dislike it as I do the “Revolution”; I just can’t say I like the name. That’s my opinion, and since that’s pretty much my entire reasoning there, not much interesting to say about it. —>Istanbul Red Wolves. This goes very much against my “let’s use old teams” thing above, but we have the Wolves in the big league and I don’t want the same thing twice. That’s 500 words, right? I think? Yes, I did it. See you next week.

TUESDAY--Celebration was all over the VHL's favorite Swiss city as the Dynamo managed to avoid matching their own record of three straight last-place finishes (previously set between S69 and S71) with a run of four straight wins that comfortably put them over Vancouver and set the team in 15th place instead. Though it may not seem like much to some, many in the city were thrilled to see their team do something even slightly different, with some taking it as a sign of things yet to come as Davos has had their share of high picks in past drafts and are projected to improve in the future. "It's a good feeling," said local resident Waldo Vogt at the start of the city's planned celebration. "We think our team will be able to rise up at some point, and maybe this is the start of that." Our reporters attempted to catch up with Vogt later on in the night, but when they tracked him down he had lost his pants and was trying and failing to break open a Riga Reign piñata (as the Dynamo played spoiler to Riga's playoff hopes in the season's last game). By the end of the night, local police confirmed that he, along with 267 others, had been taken in on charges of drunken disorderly conduct. Hockey fans worldwide should expect to see the same level of enthusiasm brought to next season's games, as Davos does what they can to continue the move up.

@.sniffuMI know we never had much interaction as GMs, but I've always seen you as a great guy and the way you managed to build your team into a powerhouse is super impressive. I've got a lot of respect for you both as a person and as a GM here. Best of luck with everything this season and beyond.

For the week ending 6/27: 1. We ended the season with a 4-win streak and a run of very good sims, saving ourselves from finishing last and finishing in 15th instead, ahead of Vancouver! What's the very first thing you do to celebrate? 2. In the very last game of the season, we took down Riga, playing spoiler to someone's season as they would have made the playoffs had they picked up even one more point. Is this a feel-good moment for us, or does it not matter? Is it just a feel-bad moment for the Reign? 3. The playoff teams are set! Chicago/Seattle/Calgary/New York/DC in North America, and Warsaw/London/Prague/Helsinki/Malmo in Europe. What's your early cup prediction? 4. What's the best way you've seen someone get harmlessly pranked? 5. What are your favorite things to do on a long car trip? Totally not asking because I need ideas. 6. I always feel weird whenever I get a press conference up after Tuesday or so. Does it matter to you when in the week ours goes up, or should I stop worrying about it and keep it up as usual? @Grape @Berocka@jimmyallen93@Azlan @Ricer13@efiug @weekz @KC15 @Rocket @TheCHEESE @Ahma @Brrbisbrr

Week 3

@N0HBDY DID I NOT TELL YOU SO

I was really worried for a bit that I'd end up repeating my own record for consecutive last-place finishes. I'm still trash but very happy we managed to avoid that one. Also I have nothing against Riga but GET YEETED

No