bigAL

Still no hit on my trap. Nothing else happened to me last night.

An update on the Team Canada Fan Experience Contest: The results are in! And they are… disappointing to my marketing staff. Ha in all honest, a big thank you goes out to everyone who participated. You didn’t have to, but you made a choice and gave me some of your time, so that’s pretty groovy To find the winner, we can follow the Green line and trace correct answers all the way to the end. WOAH?! Crazy right? The two Team Canada goalies were the only two people to score a perfect 4/4. And in the end, @HearnNation67 earned a pretty great prize: a start in the Bronze Medal game at the S72 WJC. First, let’s take up the answers, then we’ll worry about the winners. 1. SS Hornet, Spartan, is really friggin good at sim hockey. I don’t fully understand the eligibility rules, to be quite honest. The Great Horny Toad came to me with over 450 TPE! But apparently there are situations where a recent graduate of the M can come back – an ‘overager’ really. I’m pretty happy with our choice of a ringer. 2. This was a tricky question to answer. The only correct answers included both of the two answers. There’s lots to unpack here. First, the correct answers were Minnesota and Mississauga. Congrats to those two stud GMs for filling their rosters with good Canadian boys! Second, the amount of Ms in a row there made me dizzy. Third, no one, no one, not one single person guessed Miami? Oof, maybe next year. 3. This answer surprised me a lot actually! I didn’t know of Michael Mac until I saw his name popping up in the scoring race, but at the time of creating this quiz, he was seventh in the league in scoring. (note: scoring means total points @zetterberg). Every player got a guess here, and they are all good guesses. Those players are all still among the highest scoring Mers. 4. And finally, the hardest question of all. Of course, we see many, many players vote for themselves. Classic professional athlete ego. Among the real fans’ votes, there was no clear winner. Lots of players got lots of love from lots of fans, and we’re happy to have that contest end in a tie. But what about the fan locker room experience contest? How should we award that prize? Well, turns out that the pool of eligible players was, uhhh, shallow. Let’s start with the highest scores and work backwards: 1. In First Place, the GOALIES! @MexicanCow123 @HearnNation67 ? you don’t win the contest because you’re already in the LR 2. Next, the longest green streak up there, @McWolfand @Zetterberg. Again, ?you already have a key. 3. The only non-players left who got MIN and/or MIS are @Ricer13, @dlamb, and the Discordless- @GrittyIsKing09 Congrats to Ricer and DLamb, who have earned themselves tickets into the Canada locker room after their bronze medal game tomorrow! Also, my forever thanks, appreciation, and gratitude to the people who make commemorative graphics depicting DLamb and Ricer's visit. Remember, don’t step on the logo.

Team Canada GM Addresses the Media Following Day Four of WJC By: bigAL, Team Canada GM And we go live to bigAL speaking at the World Junior Championship: “OOF. That one hurts, don’t it? It hurts for a lot, a lot of reasons, but the one that hurts me most is that we almost had it. We were down 3-2 for most of the second period, until O Cap’n SS Hornet decided we weren’t going into the intermission losing and tied it up. We were on cloud nine, we were all looking forward to the intermission pump up speech and a good ol’ fashioned WJC comeback. But then the fri- then the refs got involved again. I’m not here to argue balls and strikes, but two calls against the same player in the same period seems a bit vindictive. And to call it with 5 seconds left in the period, right after we score? Frickin’ French refs. And not even the good French refs, the kind from France! Again, I’m not here to point fingers or accuse anything, but you have to identify the coincidence of the referee being from Europe in a game against Team Europe where a controversial penalty gave a powerplay to Europe, completely sucked out Canada’s momentum, and resulted in a goal right off the 3rd period faceoff. You didn’t have to do that Monsiour Le Zebra. Andre LeBastard, Shite Sports Network: “bigAL, have you seen the footage from the end of the second period? I heard someone say you had to come running back out of the tunnel to catch the action.” “I, uhhh, no?” Andre shows bigAL a Youtube video titled “Bo Burrows bodyslams Leon Gutzwiler in WJC Semi-final” “I, uhhh, I guess it was holding, a little bit. The point is, we’re not going home with the biggest and shiniest awards. That makes me sad, it makes the team sad, and it makes our country sad. The only thing that would make things more sad is if we gave up now. Hockey Canada has invested a lot of time, energy, and RAM towards making us a highly effective hockey team. The least we can do is come home with a medal. Since it’s the last game of the tourney, I’ve thrown the lines into a bit of a blender: Squirrely Dan – SS Hornet – Timothy Brown Michael Mac – Andrew Su – Joe Exotic Joseph Gainer – JaredN – Remy Moreau This here top line of SS, Squirrels, and Timo is our scoring unit. Squirrel’s got a wicked eye for passing, and Hornet and Brown are known finishers. All three players have got the strong two-way play needed to take on the other team’s top lines. When this line is clicking, we’re winning. The Joe SuMac line is another offensive threat line. They’ve got shooters in all three spots. The real beauty of this line is that Su would be a first line centre on any other team, but here he gets sheltered behind the big Horn-dawg and gets to feast on lesser players. Now this third line, the Gut Punch, is our sandpaper line. Its sometimes not noticed because of their scoring prowess, but all of Gainer, Jared, and Moreau have some grit and tenacity to them. With everything on the line, it’s time to let those guys go out and do what they do best. Defence switches things up, because why the hell not: Alex Letang – Tyler Walker Bo Burrows – Liam Flaten . I think this is the only combo we haven’t run yet, so why not give it a go and see what happens. Finally, we have to name a starter. You know I’ve hated doing this all tournament, and today’s no exception. Jacob Tonn has done a phenomenal job, but jeez the poor kid’s faced hundreds of shots in four days already. It’s time to give him a break. It also gives our man Woody McPine a shot at glory. I know his name sounds like he should be sitting on a bench, but McPine has been phenomenal in the M this season. If anyone can slam the door shut and guarantee us a W, it’s Woody McPine. I’ve got one more change more important than anything line related: I’ve fired the assistant coaches. All of em. Those jerks are the ones that set the strategies and the x’s and o’s, and holy hell are those x’s and o’s got big ol’ F’s so far. Can you believe how many shots we’ve given up?? I went and asked them, I says, whaddya think you’re doing, Tonn is drowning out there under 60+ shots every night?! I won’t share what they thought they were doing, because it’s embarrassing and demeaning to the poor men who were just publicly and rather violently removed from their positions mid-tournament, but let me just say that I’m really hoping these new line combos can get us that beautiful bronze medal tomorrow. And lastly, I got a few words for Team World ahead of our Bronze Medal matchup. First off, congrats you guys. I know what it’s like to take the ragtag group of misfits and make something magical happen. But, people always forget, the Miracle on Ice wasn’t Team USA’s last game that tournament. You’ve already had your miraculous win over Team Asia, be proud of that, but the Cinderella story stops here. Go Canada Go Wow, another explosive night from bigAL here at the WJC. Tonight, he announces a new starting goalie, he fires three assistant coaches, accuses the referees of national bias, blindly supports one of the most violent minor penalties seen in this tournament, and caps it all off by essentially guaranteeing a win tomorrow over Team World! I have many, many questions about what he just said. Ask yours below! Players named:

That's alright, it's always fun to do the trivia questions anyways! You scored a 2.5 out of 4 @GrittyIsKing09 hint: Q2 asks for 2 teams. The tricky part? They're all M M teams!

Claiming for Theme Week

Claiming for Theme Week

The VHLM’s Newest Community: The Miami Marauders By: bigAL, MIA AGM Ahead of S72, the VHLM expanded to include a new franchise. The Miami Marauders joined at the same time as an influx of new members, and the new team offered first-time GM Krice a unique opportunity. “The sim hockey is fun and all, but what keeps me [in the VHL] is the fun of being in a really active team locker room,” says Krice when asked what keeps him here in the league. “And so,” he explained, “in my first GM assignment, I wanted to build a strong locker room.” Krice and bigAL both believe that teams in the VHLM serve an important purpose on the overall league structure. These teams are our new members’ first contact with the league, and so it is vitally important that this first contact happens in a way that encourages members to return. With friendly people, friendly policies, and a few ringers brought in from other teams, Miami sought to be the most successful locker room in S72. Expansion teams are designed to be unsuccessful on the ice in their first season. Without a dispersal draft, the Marauders were without a drafted player prior to the S72 draft. Without the year-over-year depth production ready yet, Krice sold off his high draft picks and built with an eye for the future. Without a chance to compete this season, Krice approached the draft with a focus on acquiring players who are strong community members. The Miami draft board was not ranked by TPE, or by how many times a player had been recreated. Instead, the GM and AGM ranked their preferred players by forum activity and general enthusiasm for the VHL. A lot of these players are eligible for the VHL draft this upcoming season. You don’t often get to see their LR contributions, so allow me to provide the league with a scouting update. I’m going to revisit the inaugural Miami Marauders draft class, highlighting their on and off ice skills, and assess their potential as VHLers. Draft Position Player Name + TPE VHL name S72 stats VHL commitment 23 – C Andre LeBastard (169) Andre Lebastard 13-26—39 (42 GP) S73 Draft eligible 26 – D Kosmo Kramerev (173) Mongoose87 19-42—61 S73 Draft eligible 29 – D Wolf Stansson (143) ahockeyguy 18-27—45 S73 Draft eligible 37 – RW Bobbie Cheechoo (94) Sharkie 13-13—26 S73 Draft eligible 42 – G Bacon (133) Bacon 13 W, 0.869, 3.96 GAA, 1 SO NY Americans (S72) 49 – C Dakota Lamb (134) dlamb 22-30—52 S73 Draft eligible 52 – RW Oh Sens (122) osens 11-18—29 S73 Draft Eligible 23 – C Andre LeBastard (C) Andre Lebastard 13-26—39 (42 GP) S73 Draft eligible Andre is the heart and soul of our team. He was voted by his peers to be the first captain of the Miami Marauders, and he has surpassed all expectations. Andre makes a concerted effort to engage with each and every member of our team on Discord. He’s active in a variety of timeslots, because of his upside down Australian time. Andre can help you and your team start your day off with a smile, or go to bed on a high note with a goofy joke. He almost always reaches his weekly TPE cap, and will continue to be more a successful journalist as his Shite Sports Network brand takes off. Andre will bring his fiery passion for winning and his unparalleled sense of humour to any VHL locker room. 26 – D Kosmo Kramerev Mongoose87 19-42—61 S73 Draft eligible You might know Mongoose as the guy who makes the excellent Seinfeld graphics. His player, Kosmo Kramerev, makes it even clearer that he’s a huge Seinfeld fan. Mongoose is a huge add to any locker room, even if you don’t know Seinfeld. He’s always around the discord and on top of league affairs. Mongoose is a calm, cool, and collected guy who doesn’t get sucked into the internet controversy of the day, and does his best to put the team first. On the ice, Kramerev has been tearing it up. He’s 7th in defence scoring, putting up a ridiculous 61 points on a team that might not get 61 points all season. Miami drafted Kramerev with a high pick, and a VHL team should too. 29 – D Wolf Stansson ahockeyguy 18-27—45 S73 Draft eligible Wolf Stansson is another player the experts might have called a ‘reach’ at the draft, but the Marauders are very happy with Stansson through the first half of the season. In the locker room, Wolf is our local intellectual. Wolf is deep and thoughtful in the conversations he starts, whether they are big thinkers like “what IS a chair?” or when he’s coordinating interviews with his fellow players. Stansson is a caring, compassionate, and team-focused member of our new community. On the ice, Wolf has been attached to Kramerev’s hip all season. While Wolf hasn’t reached the offensive ceiling Kramerev has, Stansson is still producing at more than a point a game. In the S72 draft, Miami got Stansson at #29; in the S73 VHL draft, Wolf shouldn’t be on the board by the time pick #29 comes around. 37 – RW Bobbie Cheechoo Sharkie 13-13—26 S73 Draft eligible Bobbie Cheechoo started the year off quite strong. He was the first big ‘graphics guy’ Miami drafted in S72. As a California dude, Sharkie is active in those prime PST time zones. In recent weeks, Cheechoo has scaled back his commitment to the VHL and has been less responsive in the locker room. Sharkie is still active on the forums: in each of the last two weeks, Sharkie has earned 14 or 15 TPE. Cheechoo is definitely a player worth taking a late-round flyer on in the S73 draft. 42 – G Bacon Bacon 13 W, 0.869, 3.96 GAA, 1 SO NY Americans (S72) Bacon bacon bacon. This greasy goaler is a really fun person to have around in the locker room. He’s keeping the team in games on the ice, and is an active and engaged member of the community. Bacon loves to get in on the jokes and goofy bits, but also is able to take a stand when the team is slighted. His passion for the league and connection with his team will be a big asset for the Americans in S74. On the ice, Bacon’s strong play earned him a spot on Team Asia’s WJC team. Fatigue has not been a problem in the season so far, but Bacon has started every single one of the Marauders’ S72 games. 49 – C Dakota Lamb dlamb 22-30—52 S73 Draft eligible 52 – RW Oh Sens osens 11-18—29 S73 Draft Eligible Much like Brennan and Dale, dlamb and osens are a package deal. Miami was very excited to pick up both boys in close proximity in the fourth round. Knowing Dakota and OhSens like we do now, it was an absolute steal getting these two as late as we did. Both dlamb and osens are a lot of fun to have in a LR: osens is legendary for his high-effort/low-quality graphics and his borderline terrifying off-ice hijinks; dlamb runs the night shift in the LR and keeps everyone highly entertained until 5am EST. Dlamb has to be commended for his leadership skills in LR management, conflict resolution, and sim hockey intellect – he is applying for a variety of league management and staff jobs, and will likely be a leader in the VHL for many seasons to come. Both these two players are worth an early pick for any VHL franchise looking for a scoring centre, a physical winger, or two fun-loving goofballs in the LR. *** The seven players listed above represent all Miami draft picks from the first to fourth rounds. The Marauders have hit on 95% of their high picks from the S72 draft. No players drafted in the fifth round or beyond became active enough to warrant interest for the S73 VHL draft. Since the S72 draft, the Marauders have signed two players from waivers: Rocket (90 TPE LW): 8-7—15, S73 VHL(M) Draft Eligible Florent Vericel (119 TPE LW): 8-12—20, S73 VHL(M) Draft Eligible Both Rocket and Vericel had friends on Miami already, and have integrated into the team locker room perfectly, and both would be positive additions to any VHL or VHLM franchise. *** Miami built its draft board based on community participation, enthusiasm for the league, and overall dedication to the cause. Other managers might be looking at TPE, or goals/assists, but I want the VHL scouts to know that each and everyone one of these characters is a good person, a great teammate, and an excellent addition to your big-league team. If you have any further questions about any of our players, feel free to join our discord locker room or message the management team. Happy theme week! & Marauders -bigAL, AGM Word count: 1500

VOTE DEVISE this has been my feeling all long

I’m new and bad but not so new and bad that I’d keep pertinent information from you. I’ll keep you posted, but nothing yet

And we go live to the WJC where Team Canada GM bigAL is addressing the media: “Hey everyone, yeah yeah thanks for all the applause and the standing ovation. Don’t cheer for me, cheer for the players who got us here. And where is here, you might ask? Well here is the gawsh-dern MEDAL ROUND! Here is finishing one point behind Team Europe - a point that they stole from us in the shootout in the very first game! Here is a chance for gold. We’ve got Team Europe up next. They’re a tough, tough team. We beat them yesterday with Tonn in net. We lost in the rinky-dink skills competition to Team Europe with Tonn in net, but that wasn’t his fault. I’m still so mad the refs didn’t give Squirrely Dan a redo after that fan blew an air horn right as he was about to shoot. Woody McPine is a great goalie. I see him lots with the Minnesota Storm, where he’s having just an unreal season leading the team to the top of the standings. He didn’t get a fair shake at this tournament either. That USA game was not a fair assessment of McPine’s skill - 4 PP goals against in a game says a lot more about our PK than it does McPine. It breaks my heart to see a competitor like that on the sidelines. But Jacob Tonn has seen almost 100 shots from the Europeans, and has kept us in the games long enough for our offence to do what Team Canada does best and score a metric boatload of goals. Jacob Tonn has earned the right to finish his best-of-three series against Team Europe and start the 2v3 seed game tomorrow. No other roster changes.” And there you have it folks, Tonn is back in to see if he can best the Europeans in a 3 game WJC series. So far, he’s 1-0-1, but now we’re in the medal round and those shootout wins don’t count so much. Can he steal one last game from Team Europe? We’ll turn the floor over to the reporters from the media scrum for further questions for bigAL.

A trapper ?

I’m here, I’m TP. I’m quiet but paying attention. ? ?

I love that you guys bunked together at the WJC, your chemistry on the ice really showed when you beat Team Canada yesterday!

I'm keeping my vote for Devise. I'm inclined to believe Dok's explanation about Devise. Dok's got no reason to lie about that.

I’m trusting the jailor on this one. VOTE DEVISE

Gustav went hard af this round, it’s an absolutely free for all and anyone can be anything! with that being said, I’m looking forward to some more claims today ?

Team Canada GM Press Update By: bigAL | CAN GM Below is a statement from our coach regrading the goalie controversy we have after two days: “It’s been a doozie of a tourney for Canada again this year. Right away, I know I have to address the starting goalie. You media folks up at the TSN and SportsNet and frickin SaskTel TV have been making it a big fricking deal, and so I’ll treat it as such. Anyways, our tournament so far has shown the field that we are A TEAM. We’re here for a medal. Those jerks over at the TSN and the Sportsnet and the VSN wanna turn this into a two team tournament, but Day 3 presents us with a fantastic opportunity to force Team Canada into contention. We get our rematches with Team Europe and Team USA in Day 3. Last time around, Jacob Tonn took an explosive Team Europe all the way to a shootout, while Woody McPine stood tall in a shootout of a game against Team USA. Both were tough, tough losses. Both our goalers are hungry for revenge, but only one player gets the crease on Day 3. But whoever that is, they’re going to play behind a tighter defence. We can’t be hanging our goalies out to dry and ask them to stop 40, 50, 60 shots. I’m stirring up the D a bit by shifting Flaten up to the top pairing alongside Letang, and pairing Walker and Burrows. Flaten and Walker have been fantastic together, but it was time to make a change just for the sake of making a change. Up front, SS Hornet is answering the call of duty in joining this modern warfare. He’s going to continue to anchor the first line, and fight alongside Timothy Brown and new linemate Squirelly Dan. That’s a kid who earned top line minutes. Andrew Su has been and his second line have been critical to our 1-2 punch offence, but it’s time to switch up his wingers. JaredN slides back to Su’s right wing, and Michael Mac moves up to Su’s left. And finally, what I think is the key to Team Canada success, the source of all our mojo, the third line of Joseph Gainer, Remy Moreau, and Joe Exotic. I’m really looking at this Joe Mo Joe line to step and be the key depth piece that pushes us over the top. Alright, alright, I’ve kept you long enough. It’s breaking my heart to have to choose a starter. Both players are extraordinary tendies with bright futures ahead of them. Both have had incredible successes already in this tournament, and both have had games that could explain a demotion. Both our goalies have shown the ability to win a game. Both our goalies win games differently. McPine has been stellar in tight games, games with less than 30 shots; whereas Tonn has been able to steal a game when our D take the night off completely. We’ve got medalists today. We know Team Europe and Team USA are high event, high skill hockey players. We gotta be ready for a long slog to the end of round robin. The guy who’ll stop the pucks in those three games on Day 3: Jacob Tonn WOAH! Explosive news here from the coach. Tonn will start the last leg of the round robin. He’s going to stand tall against the best teams in the tournament tomorrow, and I have complete faith in this young goaler. See you all here next time! Word count: 593

My goal this season is to play my way onto your Top 5 list @der meister. I got my first First Star in tonight's game, just sayin'. https://vhlportal.com/gameview/72/VHLM72-225.html?VHLM=True Keep it up buddy!

PP, PK, defending, scoring, and SO MUCH SHOOTING! Those Marauders sure are asking a lot from you... but you're surpassing all expectations at this point in the season. Keep it up Wolfman!

Finally, this is the last claim for this story. I'll stop beating the dead horse. Claim 4/4. 36 TPE total for 200 words, not bad

Phew, I do NOT want to owe TPE to the VHL tax man. I hear he foils his knuckles.

I thought it was up to 2 for 2 TPE? Did that change?

Nicely done Rik, I love to see the VHL draft hype! Keep an eye out for Groovy Dood, he's taken over the 2C job in MIN and is just starting to put the full package together. The pass-first playmaker is hoping to go in the first round, and thought he'd be more valuable at C than only at W.

Shite Sports reporter, meet Shite Sports manager ? In all honesty, I'm having trouble matching player name to user name to discord name too, and we've only got two languages in the ?? LR! Great work Andre, I love the updates from SSN!