Andre LeBastard

1. Miami began the season 9-0-1, a phenomenal start. How do you feel the team has lived up to the expectations set by many so far and how does the current start reflect your expectations for Miami this season? I think we have exceeded others expectations so far this season, but for this group, the single overtime loss was disappointing such is the belief we have. 2. How satisfied are you with your player’s start to this season? What are your expectations as the season rolls on? In typical fashion, my player is a bit relaxed about contributing points wise, he likes to save it for the playoffs. I think much as last season he will be a PPG player at the end of the season. 3. A lot has been said about Miami as the Evil, the Heels of the M. Ten games in, how do you feel about that perception now? I have no idea where that has come from, is it really a thing? Perhaps other teams are a little jealous of not only our skill level this season, but how tight we are as a group? 4. To bridge into the last few questions here; What part of your player’s game are you most focused on aside from SC and DF? Is their a stat for consistency? Seriously, he's maxed out, so its all about the bank account now. 5. If you could pick one skill that could be my effective in the sim, what would it be? I am beginning to think DF scoring is op and that a play making build is not really worth the effort. 6. With 16 teams in the VHL and 12 in the M, there’s plenty of space for more new members. With what took place with recruitment recently, what suggestions would you give to the recruiters of this league on how to attract new faces? Make it sparkly and add primary colours? I'm not too sure, as the VHL is not something that you need fast twitch muscles for, so console & PC games will always be more attractive to most youngsters. Having two kids, it's all about the devices nowadays, I'm not even sure they know how to write.

cacatum non-veritas Shite Sports News EXCLUSIVE! Tonight on Shite Sports News Undercover We can now expose the sordid and dark underbelly of the VHLM, as we reveal the fraudulent and dishonest practice behind the Rookie awards & recognition processes. A corrupt system specifically designed to deny YOU from seeing your favourite players win awards, we show how there is no such thing as a fair and even chance. We will reveal the disturbing practice than prevents some players from even being included in the voting and allows the league to set the agenda when it comes to handing out prestigious awards such as this. As with all Shite Sports News Undercover investigations, we follow the filthy trail of deceit and deception, right to the source and we can now exclusively reveal this is happening with the express consent of the VHL Board of Governors. Andre LeBastard walked a lonely road, caught in limbo, a situation not of his own making. Like some other players, he was a late joiner - coming to the VHL just before the end of the season and as such finding themselves disadvantaged before a single puck had dropped on their careers. In Season 72, Andre LeBastard joined the VHLM, being signed as a Free Agent, by the Mississauga Hounds. The young player suited up for 18 games that season, before being drafted 23rd overall by the expansion Miami Marauders ahead of Season 73. Imagine his surprise then, when he noticed that other players (some on his new team), in a similar situation were classed as Rookies by the league and allowed to compete for Rookie awards and honours. Meanwhile, he was deemed not eligible and thus anything he may have accomplished in his first full season was null and void for consideration. Thus he was unfairly punished in his first stint at Mississauga, by being a late joiner and so clearly not having the skill to possibly make any impression whatsoever. The following season, as we have seen, he was not eligible according to the league and thus was precluded once again. Shite Sports News Undercover spoke to other players who have spoken on condition of anonymity, many of whom feel helpless with the current situation. One player stated to our investigator: '...it's not something you want to talk about, even with other players, who may be affected. I mean the pressure comes down from management, who, let's be real, just care about winning games.' Another player, who showed us text messages, but would not let us take copies, responded: 'I mean, it's not like the rules of the league are easy to find, many of us so-called "first-gen" players really feel we have no voice and that things are confusing enough with just trying to improve our skills. The league sometimes feels like it is geared towards "recreates", who seem to get the high draft positions and the kudos, leaving us to feel somewhat like bottom feeders, with no one who wants to listen. We have no advocate.' Shite Sports News Undercover is here to represent, we will always advocate for the underdog and the maligned. Erudite stuff from these young hockey players, many of whom are just beginning to make their way in the professional world of sports and really have no comparable. Yet, somehow it shouldn't be unexpected that these young men feel some frustration, to paraphrase the great Reggie Hammond: 'Lack of opportunity make you brave!'

I find it refreshing to see an article of this nature, rather than the usual 'my player...etc'. I tend to agree about discord, as I was never a user until joining VHL and finding that you are kind of forced onto it to stay connected, so i can appreciate the point of the article. Further, I liked that the author addressed something that (while it may be a concern to the powers that be, at the coalface) seems to be problematic and that is new player retention. Anyway this is a review and not an article, so well done. It might have been jazzed it up a bit with some colour, but I liked it regardless, as I felt it wasn't really that kind of article. 8/10

Wow, content rich, shameless self promotion and all those pretty colours too! What's not to like? Loads of linkage for those who like to click on things, also helps to make this another top missive from @bigAL. Well done, SSN would be proud, sir! 9/10

1. At the start of the season, everyone is always so optimistic! What is your individual goal for S73? To help the team and new players as much as I can. 2. But, hockey isn't an individual sport. What are your S73 expectations for Miami? I am hoping we can turn last seasons success into a Cup win. 3. Lots of VHLM pundits have labelled the S73 Marauders as a "heel" team, the supervillain that you love to hate and hate to love. Will you embrace the bad-boy reputation our team has earned this season, or did you prefer the underdog role we had last season? We are Miami and we fear no one. What drives this team is the togetherness of the players and management. 4. Do you think you'll still be in a Marauder uniform at the end of the regular season? No, I have been drafted and will suit up for Prague next season. 5. Which team do you think will be our VHLM rivals this season, and why? Probably Minnesota, after last seasons playoff encounter. 6. What point tasks do you enjoy doing most, and why? I enjoy writing articles as it gives me a chance to express myself.

1. There's a lot of action going on this week. First up is the VHL Draft. Do you plan on getting drafted to the VHL? Where do you hope you go? I was drafted and kinda thought I'd go to Prague. 1b. If you're already drafted, how much do you think you'll play in the VHL next season? Not at all. 2. Next up is the VHLM Draft on Wednesday. What should management be looking for with our plethora of draft picks? Players with good attitudes - some wingers & a couple defencemen. 3. Well, none of our playoff predictions were right. We thought the winner of the MIA-MIN season would win the Cup. What do you have to say about the Saskatoon Wild, S72 Founders Cup Champions? Congratulations, we are coming for it next season. 4. What skill or stat do you hope to improve on this off-season? As many as I possibly can. 5. How would you assess your TPE earning this season? Is there anything you will do differently next season? Not too bad around 12 per week. I'll try to max out each week and fatten that bank account. 6. It's the offseason, and I don't want to hurt your brain too much. What's your favourite number? I wear 55, but I don't really have a favourite.

Shite Sports News cacatum non-veritas Last season, as an expansion club the Miami Marauders had no expectations ahead of their debut season in the VHLM. Neither did they have much pressure to perform. What they did have, however, thanks to the sound draft policy of the hockey clubs management team, was a collection of players with the 'right stuff'. Just what the right stuff is, of course, is open to debate; however, you can take it as given that it contains a healthy dose of what coaches like to call intangibles. Often in the hockey world, the word intangibles is a euphemism for lack of skill. There is no doubt that as an expansion team, the Miami Marauders hockey club suffered from a definite lack of skill. Yet in this case, that lack of skill was overcome by that other often overused component of intangibles: attitude. In this case, we can call it the 'Miami spirit'. There is an old adage that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, which is an excellent parable for the Miami Marauders and the success they had in S73. How else can you explain the over achievement of this collection of players last season? At the start of their first-round playoff series against Minnesota, the Marauders had one player at or near triple figures in TPE, their opponents had six. Yet the Miami upstarts managed to take what should have been a commanding 3-1 lead in the series, before eventually succumbing in seven games. Most Miami players that we spoke with talked of the Miami spirit or the feeling that pervaded the locker room at the time. Many stated they were simply overjoyed to have made the playoffs at all and against the odds, never mind contemplating a 3-1 series lead. That the club lost the opening round 4-3, didn't even seem to put a dent in the player's feelings, sure there was disappointment at what could have been, but there was something else, a pervading sense of achievement and a coalescing of pride and accomplishment regardless of the end result. Most players and indeed many pundits felt that for Miami, the series exit could be chalked up to inexperience, after all, none of the players had been in that position before and didn't know what to expect. Playoff performance in many cases is about that collective institutional experience gained by trying and then failing, before utilising that experience gained to improve the performance next time out. For the new S74 edition of the Miami Marauders, the question remains can the club from management to the playing roster inculcate their newest crop of players with that 'Miami spirit' and use that to cope with the twin obstacles that will confront the club in its upcoming sophomore season: Expectation & Pressure. The expectation to improve on last seasons performance and the pressure that comes with said expectation. As their Captain Andre LeBastard said in part, in a private message to the club ahead of the new season, which was leaked to Shite Sports News last night: "Last season we had a tight group of players with a spirit that led us to our first-ever playoff berth in our very first season, as we met and surpassed each challenge we faced. What made most, if not all of us proud, however, was the spirit we all felt in the Locker Room. This was the Miami spirit, something no one could take away from us..." To paraphrase Admiral Lord Nelson, ahead of the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805: 'Miami expects...'

When I was 13, my older brothers friend introduced me to weed and Pink Floyd, my life hasn't been the same since.

Glad you put the cowardly disclaimer at the start, otherwise I might have told you I got something you can lick. In all seriousness, it looks like you know jack shit about most of the players you write about. I can't see any relevance, benefit or need for this piece. Further, you clearly have no understanding of the term 'satire', this is not a satirical piece, in any way shape of form. So you can't claim satire, which to me leaves a poorly executed, self serving TPE grab, based on insulting people you know nothing about. FYI The Oxford English Dictionary defines satire thus: a. A poem or (in later use) a novel, film, or other work of art which uses humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize prevailing immorality or foolishness, esp. as a form of social or political commentary. Frequently with on, of, against. Originally distinguished from lampoon in being directed at a fault rather than at a person who has that fault, though there is now considerable overlap between the two terms. Dude, I'm a shit writer, but at least some of my stuff can conjure a smile from time to time, this shit is just grim. Therefore, I an awarding you a never before awarded 1.0/10 for this piece of puerile journalism. It's not even funny. Fuck you.

Brilliant article, well researched and well written ...so all that really remains to do is tip my hat to you, sir! 9.5/10

I liked this article big time, I wish it were longer... I would have liked to see the top 3 players in Fighting in VHL/VHLM listed just out of curiosity. I shared an idea in our Locker Room that I don't know has been done yet, but I'd love to get a couple buddies and all play as the Hanson brothers on the same team, each with maxed out fighting! Anyways, I like it...9/10

I'd like to say how much of an honour it was to lead this fantastic bunch of guys. Both management and players have been outstanding! Thank you all!

It's getting Drafty Up In Here So the S73 VHL draft approaches sooner rather than later and I'm Draft eligible. What can I say about my self to improve my draft chances? Well, experience has taught me that it's probably best I keep my mouth shut tighter than the proverbial witches tit. However, I can't help myself and I need the TPE, so here goes with the obviously unashamed, clearly unbiased, self-promotional article, wherein I let prospective General Managers kick the tires and have a quick squeeze (I'm watching you Rayzor), to see if I'm worth the first round pick that I totally and honestly believe I am. Who is Andre Lebastard? Before I tell you how good I'm going to be and how I will lead your team to two Cups over the next three seasons (and one Finals loss, because STHS), let's see what my stats were for this past season playing for the upstart expansion Miami Marauders club. Now a quick look at my playoff stats, where I seemed to up my game, as Miami put the fear of God into those benders from Minnesota. Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that series, I can tell you! The Media Says Andre is a hard working play making Centre ice man who plays a 200 foot game and can run your power play and kill penalties. He's a regular earner and is good with a knife, so if you need help taking some territory from the Southside Crew...oops wrong application! Anyway, he would be a good addition to any locker room, having good leadership skills and a decent sense of humour, not taking himself or life, too seriously. Some GMs may not have read any of his work with the media this season, but an example can be found here. His Team Says His team management in Miami had this to say about Andre LeBastard after making the young Ottawa native the expansion club's first ever draft pick: “Miami is looking to build a good culture for their team this year so their strategy was to draft active players. Andre proved to be just this during his time in Mississauga (the season before) last season. He was active in his Locker Room, on the forums and with his training. That is exactly the type of player we were looking to add to Miami this season.” Nice words which the player certainly appreciated, commenting "Miami took a chance on me and after I was drafted by the Marauders, from the first moment I walked into the locker room to the end of this current season, I couldn't have been happier. The club is awesome and the spirit in the room is incredible. Where ever I end up in this seasons VHL Entry Draft, I hope that I can contribute to the team over the coming seasons both on and off the ice and prove my self on the biggest stage.' Indeed. The draft is not long coming now and perhaps VHL GMs will have a somewhat better understanding of who Andre LeBastard is and how he may be able to help their team over the next few seasons.

Super article man, you got my vote! Plus, I mean honestly, who doesn't like a little sweaty beaver now and then? My old eyes appreciate the fact that you increased the font size and I do like the inclusion of the picture. I'm sure that the very sexily sartorial Marc gets sweaty beaver. I like colour added to articles and I do like big headlines too, so that would just make the post even better! 8/10

A really nice preview of the Finals! I liked the break down of each club and the more than liberal use of player tags to draw people mentioned in and who doesn't like stats thrown in to back up your points. I also liked that you took a stand and added in a prediction paragraph at the end. Two points: 1) I'd make the title line a bigger font & add colour to make it pop and 2) No use of the two teams logos. Perhaps I'm nit picking, but I think the inclusion of both would have been the cherry on top, so I deducted a half point each, sorry! 7.5/10