pxzero

Lovecraft? Never heard of 'im. Sounds like a chump.

What can only be explained as a supernatural event took place last night in Ottawa. The details are still coming in, and, due to the inexplicable nature of the phenomenon, may never be truly clear. From what can be gathered, the event began around 3 am, when thousands of Ottawa residents woke in screaming terror of an unknown horror. The first call to the police came at exactly 3:07AM, by a woman complaining that the green light of the moon was seeping through her black out curtains and creating a ghastly miasma that crept along the floor with a sickened, ravenous hunger. Other reports began to flood the dispatcher: grotesque shadows flickered in rooms with no light, geometry betrayed itself, creating impossible angles without changing, unnameable horrors began to creep from men's thought into the waking world. The dispatchers were soon overloaded, which only added to the sense of isolation that was felt, more than the realization that as a person they were alone, but that humankind itself was trapped in a singular prison staring into the dark void that waited to consume it - that creatures much beyond our own lurked in spaces and time unfathomable, and that all mankind had ever 'learned' had been force-fed to us by an infinite cosmos that laughed at our futility and weakness. Perhaps the worst part, it is said, is the absolute silence that overtook the city in the colossal terror, so poignant that no sounds were uttered for fear of attracting the nameless watcher that waited, seething, in impossible cosmic vistas. The event ended as quickly as it began, with life returning to normal around 3:31 AM. There is no indication on how this will affect the Lynx in their upcoming game against the Outlaws, but practice is scheduled as usual.

I'm in. Name is pxzero. I'll bring many bottles of 151 for when we want to START fires.

How sexy are those Interceptor helmets? I'm in.

With 16 games left in the regular season and a 20 pt deficit for a playoff spot (at 34 pts), it's safe to say that the Lynx's play-off hopes are over. The same cannot be said for the competing Blades (54 pts) and Rush (50 pts), who are both the closest teams in points and virtually the only teams in danger of losing a play-off spot. And for the Lynx, this means a chance to play spoiler. Yes, the Lynx are down, but they're not out.... yet. vs Unfortunately, the Lynx only have 3 games against these two teams - two against the Rush and one with the Blades, and they all come up within the next seven games. That means the Lynx, to have a meaningful impact on the final standings, need to rally - and quickly. Against the two teams, the statistical differences are insignificant: Goals for are close enough to be determined by a coin flip, and the difference between a shoot out win and a win in regular time is only one point - not enough to cause panic for either team with 11 games still to come. If the Lynx want to have any meaningful impact on the standings, they need to win all three games within regulation time. The chance is slim, but it's there. For a quick rally, the Lynx need to pick a single issue that they can band-aid. This band-aid is available in their absolutely atrocious penalty kill. Here are a few more stats: In both totals Goals Against and Penalty Kill, the Lynx trail the league by a staggering amount. Obviously, the coaching staff has noticed this and kept the reigns on the players to manage the least penalties in the league, but that doesn't help the fact that each minor may as well carry a death sentence. = A lot of blame has been placed on rookie goalie Coca Cola, but here's another set of statistics: Yes, Coca Cola is trailing the league in save %, but the difference between Coca Cola and Soren Douffet or Vladimir Bodnar is not devastatingly huge. Yet, the Lynx are all but out of the playoffs where Douffet and Bodnar have clinched playoff spots for their teams, the Watchmen and the Royals respectively. It's in the goals against that lies the problem, where a serious 2-3 goal difference is visible, and that comes from a serious lack of defense: Yes, Coca Cola could do better, but when your defense is a sieve, his stats are bound to suffer - as is the team. The Lynx's problem with defense lies in depth. The GM is doing his best, but it still took 34 games to pick up Brock Weathers, who was released from Saskatoon, to fill the ever important defensive position along side defensive rising star Razzle Dazzle. Previously, the spot had been filled by a handful of misfits, better suited to an off-beat comedy or a kid's movie than a semi-professional hockey team. The problem is, outside of the starting lines, players are simply not stepping up to the challenge. It's been 56 games, and none of the Lynx back-ups have risen to any level of proficiency. In part, that's the sad truth about the VHLM - some players will just never make it to the higher levels. What does all this mean? It means that if any starter takes a penalty, a nobody comes onto the ice. The shots against Coca Cola spike, and the puck goes in. When the puck goes in, the Lynx lose the game, and no amount of flash by Bobby Ricky and Razzle Dazzle can fix that. If the Lynx want any chance of making an impact in the final stretch of this season, they need to do a three things: - Practice Penalty Kill. A lot. It's the only thing that they can improve in a week. - Keep the starters out of the box. The Coaches have been doing a great job (the best in the league) so far, and yes, a penalty or two is bound do happen. It's a physical game. But for these three important games, discipline is especially important. In fact, outside of personal stats, the other 13 really do not matter. - Pray. Lean on any god, science, or superstition you have, because the Lynx are going to need it if they want to matter.

4-1 Wild

Watchmen Gladiators Lynx Storm

6-1 Americans

Titans Meute Reign Meute

And all last week I thought Dirk was being lazy...

I still have 2 more double point tasks from being a colossal rookie. Since I'm assuming I can't get a 48 point task (boo), can I just hold off on claiming the x2 until next week?

Halloween brings out the odd, absurd, and grotesque in many places, and the VHLM Ottawa Lynx were no exception. In a shocking turn of events, the Lynx duplicated their season high 3-win streak with a surprise win over Watchmen and a close SO loss vs. the Storm. Indeed, the Lynx did so unusually well that some fans began to mistake them for a reasonable hockey team. Goalie Coca-Cola, morally offended by the Lynx's tricking of fans, decided to put on a show for the ages. In just a short 32 minutes, Coca let in 6 of 17 shots for a career low of 0.647. At this point, coaches popped open the sarcophagus holding back-up goalie Clifford Shock and blew the dust off him. The mummified goalie then finished the game with a 0.875 after 16 shots in the remaining time. When asked about the team's burst of momentum and then the spectacular failure, coaches simply replied: "It's Halloween".

Claim 2. Also, the best costume I saw this year was a little kid a 50s style "futuristic" space suit, the type you always see in bad sci fi. Picture a 2 foot tall little monster running around in one of these bad boys. It was brilliant.

Name: Dirk Firkley Age: 19 Handedness: Left Height: 6'3" Weight: ~220 lbs. Nationality: German Virtually unknown before entering this VHLM, Firkley was a blind pick-up by the Ottawa Lynx in a desperate attempt to fill a depleted roster. Now, with a few games under his belt, scouts have begun to take a hard look at the German import before the season 41 draft and the opinions are consistent: he is an aggressive, offensive player who makes as many great plays as terrible ones. His strengths and weaknesses are clearly defined, which will make him easy for a coach to fit into an existing line up, but also makes him easy to outplay 1 on 1. Strengths Physicality: When his skates touch the ice, there are few players with a stronger drive to the net than Firkley. He is explosive and aggressive, always wanting to be the first player to get to a loose puck and completely unafraid to throw his 220lb, 6’3” frame into the corner fight for one. His size also contributes a lot to his shooting. Shooting: Dirk makes a lot of shots for himself, which are backed by his strong upper body and a highly deceptive snap-shot. His slap shot has been measured at a staggering high of 103.1 mph, which will earn him even more shot opportunities as the fear-factor behind the massive wind-up starts to permeate the league. Face-Offs: Between his drive for the puck and his effective use of his strength, Firkley is a great choice to scrap for the puck. While his stats after 26 games only have him winning 51% of the battles, a little refined technique will tip the scales much further in his favour. Teamwork: If nothing else, Dirk’s heart is in the game. He’ll do anything to help the team win. He is unselfish with the puck, he will take penalties when the team needs them, and immediately returns any cheap shots the other way. On ice and in the locker room, he’s an asset to any team. Weaknesses Conditioning: His strengths are also his greatest weaknesses. Firkley’s constant, high energy game makes him very vulnerable to fatigue. He cannot play long minutes and has often found himself borderline ineffective in the 3rd from tiring himself out in the first two periods. This can be avoided with a better conditioning coach or a deeper roster, where his minutes can be shortened to maximize the effectiveness of this guided offensive missile. Puck Handling: His speed also causes problems with holding the puck, often out skating his own stick ability. We’ve seen him lose the puck much more often than safely guiding it into the offensive zone – indeed, Lynx coaches have started actively avoiding using Firkley to transition from defense, which is a clear and overwhelming issue. Aim: His shot is strong, and he loves to shoot, but Dirk’s aim is way off. He’s putting too much power into the shots and not enough precision. His aim is also off with his passes. While he’s not selfish with the puck and knows where he should put it, it isn't often that he gets it there. In fact, bad passes are his leading means of turning over the puck, even ahead of his iffy puck handling. This can be worked on, but it’s a serious drawback right now. Discipline: More than anything, Firkley has problems with discipline. He refuses to wait for a clean shot, a safe pass, or an easy hit. He doesn't slow down to better handle the puck. He wants the net more than anything in the world, which can make him amazing, but if he doesn't reign himself in, he will never be better than a second tier player – if he even makes it to the VHL. Overall: He’s got a lot of work ahead, but his strengths and potential seem to overshadow his blaring issues. On a deep team with a patient coach, you can expect great things from this rookie in his 2nd and 3rd years.

1/5 penalty kill. I'm crying a little.

It’s taken 34 games, but the Lynx finally have a full roster. In a bold move this week, the Lynx GM let go of both Annie and Arnold and picked up defenseman Brock Weathers in their place. Brock was recently released from the Saskatoon Wild after an incredibly underwhelming performance of no goals, 4 assists, 26 hits, and only 15 blocked shots in 26 games, but he insists the stats are not reflective of his true ability. His insistence may have merit, considering his competition for time against rising stars Joshua Rubin, who is second on the Wild with 57 points, and Gunzerker Salvador, who leads the team in shot blocking. In his two games for the Lynx, Brock has managed a single assist and a blocked shot, as well as an overall +/- of 1, which bodes well for the rest of the season. When asked about Weathers, line mate Razzle Dazzle commented: "He can hit better than Annie, and he skates well enough. With some practice, maybe it'll feel like I'm not the only defender on the team."

Sexy. Just goes to show you that whining gets you what you want. So there, Mom & Dad. Double points for not using Subban.

I'll throw my hat in the ring;however, I'm SUPER new, so if there is anyone more experienced who wants/deserves it, I completely understand. As for why I should get the job: IRL, I'm an English Major and a huge stickler for grammar. I read all the posts anyway and critique them in my head, so why not be graded for them? Also, my CV: This post and Grammar 1/2: sentances = sentences

I didn't know where else to put this because I saw the funniest 2 errors ever. Article in question: Can someone tell me where is the Ottawa please department? I feel like I'm sorely missing out.

Or a fast death. Locked in your bathroom.

Tough week. They all look like they could go either way. Gut says: Blades Royals Wild Lynx

5-2 Watchmen

I can't miss this TPE train Titans Reign Express Eagles

I dislike this based on the fact that SOMEONE said they'd work on a sig for me. jaladolar now has two. *acts petulant* I wish I had seen this earlier so I could have had more incentive to beat you at scrabble. Expect no quarter next time. Bad Qi.

The Lynx have been putting out a ton of shots per game I've noticed. I love our offensive effort. If only we could keep the puck out of the net.