pxzero

claim 2

Finally. Putting in the work Dirk promised!

umm.. what the hell just happened.

That penalty though.

Watchmen 5-2

Wild Watchmen Rush Watchmen

Meute Titans Americans Reign

Titans 3-2

Content: 3/3 I like the way it's written, and Merica seems like he'll be a class act. I'm trusting your week 2. Grammar: 2/2 For some reason, your opening quotation marks all go the wrong way. Not strictly speaking a huge issue, but it's definitely weird on the eyes. Also, there were a number of missing commas and whatnot, but I can't be bothered to write them all out. Not enough to warrant any lost marks. ”Here you go,” says the - missing a comma the counter. "That’s - missing a period Appearance: 1/1 Lotta black & white, but it works.

Content: 3/3 Good luck! Hopefully Esposito isn't a flash in the pan. We can always use more VHL superstars. Grammar: 2/2 I got to you last so I didn't look too closely, but I didn't catch any blaring issues. Appearance: 1/1 Dry but effective.

Content: 2/3 I'm glad to have you back! Amusing, and pretty well written. However, I hate to do it, but you didn't hit the word count. Minimum is 450, you've got 317 including the title and caption on the photo. Just one more paragraph and you'd have had full marks. Grammar: 2/2 not bad however, due to his state of mental depreciation, - missing commas having ran out - having run out, one of the weird English verbs. stated: "We're glad to have - you have closing quotation marks, but no opening ones Appearance: 1/1 Looks good Overall: 5/6

Content: 3/3 Amusing read, nice play by play. I really loved the spreadsheet. Grammar: 2/2 Nothing wrong, per say, but you did have a tendency to have exceedingly long sentences. its toll however, and after being in the ring for 15 minutes, - missing comma Appearance: 1/1 Effective

Content: 3/3 Another solid interview Grammar: 1.25/2 I marked this section a little harshly, because I have warned you before that you have had a lot of proofreading errors. Many times, you had words that didn't make sense or leftover words from rewrites. I know it's a long one, and about halfway through it gets a little better, but I'm going to stress it's quality over quantity. You only need 450 words, and you've got almost double that, but there are just too many errors again to give you a pass. he'll go he's not too sure - homophone, wrong to he's done and, luckily for the GM's who are picking early, - missing comma (without it, it's a run on sentence) general managers, scouts and players - agreement error. gotta keep it all plural want to give the viewers a basic - wrong word (get the viewers a breakdown doesn't make sense, since you're supplying the breakdown, not taking one) born in Denver, Colorado, and - When both a city's name and that city's state or country's name are mentioned together, the state or country's name is treated as a parenthetical element. it's the reason his favorite all-time goalie, Patrick Roy, had worn - wrong word. It's the NUMBER he wore, not the reason. Also, commas. cheetah - not a proper name, no reason to capitalize been absolutely outstandings as - s does not belong. weird typo Obviously It's still fairly early - no need for capital, obvious proofing error stated above - word choice. This is an interview, so they would have stated before, not above. (there is no written interview, and I'm giving you a lot of grammatical leeway in later paragraphs because this is 'dialogue') One time has contacted - wrong word. one TEAM has contacted They're powerful, amazing, strong creatures that in my opinion and truly - that in your opinion what? possibly "are truly" but it's either missing a point or a word choice error. Appearance: 1/1 Looks good, but you lost the green/blue colour scheme halfway through, only to bring it back. Overall: 5.25/6

Content: 3/3 Another tough year for the Legion, but you're right that things are looking up! Grammar: 2/2 With their league-worst playoff drought extended to three seasons. - not a complete sentence De - not sure how this captions the photo defensive game perfectly and, with the chemistry - missing comma Appearance: 1/1 Yep

Content: 3/3 Seems like you had a great season. Good luck in the playoffs. Grammar: 2/2 Couple comma issues, one weird sentence. Nothing major and to but many doubts to shame you have scored - i literally have no idea what you're trying to say here. thing to note[,] is that you were - comma doesn't belong here the playoffs coming, back for a - missing comma disappointing, to say the least, if - commas Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

I don't trust this Draper fellow.

How to Bet the VHLm (or mad ravings) Outside of March Madness, Black Friday Fatalities numbers and Dog Shows, few events capture the interest of bookies like the VHLm playoffs. It’s one of those events where anything can happen, except injuries and, inexplicably, bench clearing brawls. As a result, the more seasoned VHLm betters know to look at the more obscure phenomenon that can affect the outcome of a match, knowing full well that the play-offs are much more than a simple number crunch bet. Mascots The first of these signs is mascot health. Yes, the mascots. In a league where the stars seem to perpetually improve, Newton’s third law suggests that something, somewhere must be perpetually declining. Using my vast sleuthing resources, I have determined that the something is the mascots. Using a form of wizardry that has been scarcely seen since Cleopatra (you think her beauty was natural?), VHL GMs have been bewitching their mascots in a zero sum game with their star players. Beneath their plushy exteriors, these mascots are actually growing old at an alarming rate. If you see a mascot who is actually doing jumping jacks, you can anticipate that the team will not fare as well as the geriatric antics of another mascot, who is pulling his pants down to reveal varicose veins and a diaper along to go with their obvious onset of dementia. This indicator, however, is sometimes skewed, as the GMs of more popular teams can often dupe a young, foolish fan into the outfits with some free tickets. This should await you under that plushie exterior. Aliens The next indicator is in the night sky. No, I’m not talking astronomy or astrology or boredom. I’m talking about aliens. It’s been well documented that aliens are a driving force behind the VHL, taking a special interest in the ice conditions of the VHLm. Why would a highly advanced, extra-terrestrial being be interested in ice conditions you’d ask? Simple. For the same reason someone could look at a beautiful model and be interested in their feet. Fetishes are strange things, and not to be insulted - especially when insulting things can get you probed in uncomfortable places. And why would they not stop at Pluto, or a comet to fulfill this particularity? Because this particular fetish involves people skating on the ice after they're done with it. Weird, I know, but I didn’t make this up, so blame the universe that spawned these guys. Okay, so you’ve proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that aliens like ice in the VHLm – how does that affect it? You won't believe what its tongue looks like - or what it can do. First, you have to understand what the aliens do to this ice. They lick it, usually about 6 hours before game time. Oh, and they’re invisible so you can’t see when they do it. What this does to the ice is creates an alternate probability field in the areas that they have licked, which can account for a variety of strange happenings on the ice, like pucks standing on their sides or the Wild inexplicably having a close game with the Rush, who are clearly 2 gud for that nonsense. Now, while the aliens themselves are invisible, these probability fields are especially visible to someone who is under the influence of far too much alcohol, except off coolers because those are for sissies, since the tongue marks then begin to glow with a ghastly blue light. Of course, even such a clear indicator of an on-ice advantage is made difficult to profit by, since, to learn about these alien-licks, you would have to break into the arena, get hammered, examine the ice, and then be sober enough to contact a bookie and make an informed decision. But gambling is always a little bit of a risk. Dragons The last and final indicator of an obvious VHL win is the presence of a dragon on the bench. While this signifier is usually seen too late for any meaningful betting, as the game has already started, having a magical, fire breathing beast tends to tip a game in the team’s favor. However, dragons are fickle and don’t exactly like having to skate, except that one with three heads, but that dragon isn’t as good at hockey as say, Kur or Typhon, and happens to have two too many heads for it to matter. Look how imposing I am. Also, I play hockey. There is also a rumour that a lack of “renter’s insurance” can affect a VHLm game, but that crazy myth has yet to be validated. Now that you know all the insiders secrets, happy betting, and don't drink too much, because I want some.

Wild 5-2

357 Watchmen vs Blades 358 Lynx vs Rush 359 Gladiators vs Outlaws 360 Storm vs Red Wolves

Dirk Firkley - Yukon Rush Forward Points Hits/Goals (TBD at the end of the season, I just don't want to forget to declare)

Content: 3/3 Brilliantly written Grammar: 2/2 Only found one error: Titans in [a] four games, - "a" doesn't need to be there Appearance: 1/1 That courier doh...

Content: 3/3 Jesus Murphy. In excess of 1500 words... I have written shorter essays. I suppose there is no limit on how big these can be! As always, awesome points. I do like how this system discourages tanking (Screw the Knicks & 76ers). It would really make drafting a crazy experience too. Grammar: 2/2 I didn't look too closely, but I didn't see anything that stood out either. Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

Content: 3/3 I really appreciate that you've brought it right back toward VHL content like we mentioned. Grammar: 2/2 lowered his hand into his face into his hands - I don't even... what is going on here. he said, "Your pro - missing comma Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

Content: 3/3 Great first article! Refreshing, as it's very different but very interesting! I really loved it. Also, you hit the word count. Grammar: 2/2 I'm not going to be too hard on your grammar, as English isn't your first language; however, since it's my job, I will mark all the errors I find. I really like that you kept your sentences shorter, because even when there were errors, they were very simple to read in context. I did notice two recurring errors, which I am sure come from language differences: #1, there seems to be a difference in where the sentences break, because a lot of the time you continue a sentence without and or a period. #2, which might be easier to catch, is that you don't need to capitalize anything that isn't a proper noun. Proper noun being it has it's own name. For example, I am going to the Berner Münster (proper noun), or "I am going to the big church". There are a ton of churches. Another example is like this: I'm going to the Grand Canyon, the one of the most popular canyons in the world. It's really not a big deal, I just thought I'd point it out my name is Thomas Duddy. I’m the newest - sentence isn't grammatically correct as is. either "and I'm the", or just change the , to a. house where Albert Einstein and his first wife, Mileva Einstein, - missing a letter, and missing a comma the 13th century. It served - same error as the first one. Either needs "and it served" or a new sentence. recognizable symbols. It also features - ditto features an astronomical - one of the English quirks - if the article A comes right before a vowel, it becomes AN Münster”. It’s the biggest - can either be a new sentence or say "which is the biggest" At 100.6 meters, the - strange translation. It should be "standing at 100.6 meters", or something similar e highest church tower in Switzerland.[ ]Above - no need to capitalize church or tower in this context. Also, missing a space after the period entrance, cathedral, - no need for a capitals beautiful tainted [stained glass, tinted] windows - strange translation, in English we don't call it tainted glass. Tinted maybe, but I assume they're stained glass, which is a major feature of most cathedrals. restaurants - no capital again go-to place[,] for - no need for a comma, go-to often has a hypen our hiking boots - spelling error. Hicking boots is a hilarious typo though, since a "hick" tends to be a back-water bumpkin... so the idea that you can put on boots that allow you to become a hick is just funny sea[ ]level - sea level is not a compound word In 1999 the “Park in the Green” was opened - missing a word to complete the sentence over the city, it also features - missing a comma Appearance: 1/1 Beautiful!