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Muller actually put in more work! 1 more point, 1 more assist, more shots blocked, more hits... Firkley, you lazy bum. Take notes! Still, Yukon 2 gud.

Content: 3/3 Interesting ideas, like always. I really do like the visual of old hockey players floating away though... Grammar: 2/2 Just one. ice floes - homophone, or typo Also, you love that double space after a period. Not an error, just a style thing. Appearance: 1/1 Good format, great pics

Content: 3/3 Poole is doing quite well! Great career ahead of him Grammar: 2/2 Only saw one big error: One pace to score - On pace to score Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

Content: 3/3 Yeah, the Dynamo are having a tough year, but they'll do great after that s41 draft pays off! Grammar: 1/2 There were a lot of errors. Some were just missing commas, but there were run on sentences, lack of punctuation and some weird wording. The ones that really did me in, were the wrong punctuation - commas where periods were needed, and whatnot. I think a quick proofread could have caught most of these! struggling young team little with to no veteran help, which means the rookies need to step up their game - lots of errors in this sentence Glifford Shock - Gifford Shock, no L. That being said, this season hasn't been - commas Hunter has 20 points this season. Well, that isn't anything special when you consider how little help he has - it makes it more impressive. - fixed the sentences for readability blocked, However - three ways to fix. Either "blocked. However," or "blocked, however," or even "blocked; however," rather fast, showing he is - comma blocked. He - wrong punctuation. Period, not comma. He has continues to hone - wording. either He continues, or he has continued. but some questions raise if he can be a top end defender but his progress has been rocky but there is still plenty of time for him to grow. - oddly worded/ run on sentence. the Dynamo defense. He currently - break the sentences up that maybe he's not ready - missing apostrophe defensive defender. Hopefully as - wrong punctuation, need a period. Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

It's been 22 games, and Dirk Firkley has 33 points. Not bad. But it's not good either. There's a problem. He's not scoring goals. It's also not for his lack of trying. He's taken 160 shots. He's gotten 9 of them in. That's a pathetic 5.63%... up from his ~4.0% last week, since he managed to get a few goals in the most recent games. Still, for a forward, especially a first-rounder who is expected to perform in the coming seasons, a <6.00% shot percentage is terrible. We asked him about his performance, and here was his answer: "You know, I just love hockey. I know that's a silly way to start an explanation, but hear me out. I just love hockey, and I got on the ice in my first few years and I just drive toward the net and take a shot. That was it. For a long time, that got me through. More recently, however, the quality of player has gone way up. The shots are harder to make and I'm just not controlling the puck the way I should. I made some errors in what I worked during the off season, and I think I'm going to have to live with them. I feel like I'm quickly approaching a cap, but I'm sure, next year, the kid gloves are off, and you'll see my percentage go way up. I'm making space, and I'm making the shots. It's just a matter of burying it in the net." There you have it folks. From the mouth of Firkley, his excuse for his low scoring. Let's see if he can't make good on that promise, and maybe clean up as much as he can in the end of this season.

Or it's already come and we didn't expect it then, and we are now stuck with it. Or it's the old "so obvious that they won't expect it" ruse. Or I'm a crack-pot conspiracy theorist, with a deadline to write a media spot? We'll never really know, but I will check out your magazines anyway.

As it has been extensively reported (here and here, and especially here), spammerino bots attacked our precious VHL this week. Many posts were infected. Some fell. Members of the league have suffered too. Members have had border-line aneurysms. It has been a sad time. Let's pause for a moment of silence. **** Okay. Silence is over. Let's get to the bottom of this: THE TRUTH FOR REALZ: Loose Change, VHL SPAM BOT EDITION There have been conflicting reports on what caused this massive attack. Some say it's an attack by Nick Barr, the disgruntled former VHL tycoon. Others say it's a conspiracy instigated by one of four shady individuals, who will be revealed at a later time. I tell you, both of these are shams, and I will expose the truth in a way where I completely skew the facts, deciding what I want to be the truth. First, the theory about Nick Barr. There's been a lot of talk about this Nick Barr character in the last few days. But it's also a fact that he's only come up in these last few days. Does it makes sense to you that a character who has been completely out of the picture suddenly shows up to cause a massive bot attack? What would be his motive? Does he have the ability? (Let's ignore answering any of these questions and move onto something else quickly before you think them through.) Now, it is claimed that Victor has allegedly stopped the apparent attack. It has also been established that this attack was only apparently done by Nick Barr. But therein lies the problem, and the connection. Victor has admitted to killing Nick Barr. That's right folks, Victor, the supposed savior, is also a murderer. The proof is right here, in Laichly Rift's 102nd Podcast: How Do Planes Work?. Here comes the recap that makes me look like I'm giving real evidence. So at this point, we've established two things: Nick Barr was a sorry scapegoat, because him attacking made no sense and is impossible because he's been murdered by our (probably) evil overlord, Victor. AND the powers-that-be, such as "Head Grader" Draper, and "Commissioners" Higgins and Victor, are throwing the population onto a wild-goose chase, that cannot possibly end with the capture of a real Nick Barr. Now, here comes the real question: Why? I'll tell you why. It's a robot invasion! In his "explanation", Draper links us a photo of the headquarters of "Nick Barr": What's the point of a shot of a building from so far away? To distract us, of course. I couldn't be fooled. I took a closer look at the window of the 46th floor, 9th cubicle from the right, which used to belong to the late Barr. Here's what I found: Does this look familiar to anyone? Who is this sneaky figure, sitting in the headquarters that apparently belong to the nemesis of the VHL? It's AIM-11!!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE: For weeks, Aim-11 has been making great suggestions about the VHL, which are largely going unheard. There have been "jokes" about putting Aim-11 in a position of power following his great ideas (here) Aim-11 is a robot He already suggested an "Invasion of the Robots". SPAM BOTS ARE ROBOTS TOO He's tried to tell us to avoid looking for a robot takeover, and that it's the inevitable progression of evolution!!! Quote below And here's the kicker: He's admitted he can't have an aneurysm! Has the robot take-over already begun? Is Aim-11 secretly a ringleader, dangling puppets Higgins and Victor on a string? Is this why the Top-Prospect game was so late - Higgins was being assimilated? Is Draper in on the scam, or is he just confused too? What's really going on?! Tune in next week for more real truths. P.S. It could also be aliens.

Content: 3/3 Well played... is an African expansion code named Project Black? Though, where would you find ice in Africa? Grammar: 2/2 Nothing major. A few years ago, when the VHL commissioners tried to fly into Beijing, they - missing commas Also, how does one actually spell Terence? Appearance: 1/1 looks good

Content: 3/3 I especially like how you tied it to a different article. Grammar: 2/2 Nothing that I saw on a once over the high-tech and extensive security systems installed by the leagues Head Grader, Draper. - excessive self importance Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

Content: 3/3 The Meute are indeed looking good! Grammar: 2/2 there was a number - there were a number in Quebec City, and the league as well, with - missing commas were asking for, and it's definitely - comma Christian Stolzschweiger Trophy; awarded to the VHL's top rookie. - funny use of semi-colon. the second half is not a complete sentence or an independent clause. If I'm wrong, let me know. Appearance: 1/1 No complaints

Content: 3/3 As always Grammar: 2/2. There were a few tiny things, but nothing on this doozy: flying back - one too many spaces Appearance: 1/1 Full marks for bringing Cherry's pin-up back.

you say gg, I say RIGGED. -6. *grumble grumble*

Content: 3/3 Definitely a great draft year! Great writing too. I love the graph. Grammar: 2/2 I didn't see anything that stood out. Even if there was, this took so long to grade I'd give you a total pass. Appearance: 1/1 It looks great, and I love the graph

What the heck. Rigged.

Content: 3/3 Amusing, full of action, and you hit the word count. It's getting very, very loosely related to VHL now though. I recommend hockey-related weapons in your next instalment, not because you have to, but who doesn't like gimmick weapons? Grammar: 2/2 Frescoelmo got the majority. Except this bad boy: Continued in Part 4... - Isn't this part 4? Appearance: 1/1 It works 5.75/6 & 6/6 = 6/6 overall.

Haha, yeah, I figured. I just also figured I'd point it out, because I always need something to say!

I'm not trying to stop discussion, but Aim-11 deserves a grade! Content: 3/3 This is amazing. That is all. One suggestion though - instead of 4 SHL, 4 VHL in a row, I proposed 2-2 sets. That way, if the "home ice" sets one team up for a serious advantage, they don't just need to fluke game 5 to win. Plus... even if it is horribly one sided on either "ice" we still get more games, and who doesn't want more games? Grammar: 2/2 I didn't really find anything Universe didn't need to be capitalized, but it made sense in context? Appearance: 1/1 To the point and it worked. Overall: 6/6

Content: 3/3 Barely squeaked into the word count (471), but it passes. I liked the story, but I totally wish there was more. Grammar: 2/2 You missed a number of commas in the dialogue, but since it was direct quotations, it's possible that the players spoke without breathing. Who knows? experts expect there to be - homophone, wrong "their" Appearance: 1/1 Great pictures. Mad men always adds class to a party.

Also sorry for the late grade. Busy busy week. Content: 3/3 I love seeing the history of the VHL, and I look forward to the next instalment. Grammar: 2/2 There are a lot of issues, especially homophones. I would have docked a half point, but it's so late that you're safe this time. Careful in the next edition. Throughout - gotta start with a capital the moves, or lack thereof, and - commas has had its ups - homophone, you had the wrong its season of their existence - homophone, you had the wrong there. made the rebrand, their logo - homophone, you had the wrong their. More clean and to the point, it is the symbol of power for them now, and everyone - missing commas. Always producing top talent, the Wranglers are a team - comma Appearance: 1/1 I find red a little hard to read, but it works.

Sorry for the late grade. Content: 3/3 Interesting article, and I'm sorry about your anger. Hopefully things pick up soon! Grammar: 2/2 Small things, nothing to write home about. multiple occasions," said the staff member. "I am.. - fixed punctuation. Appearance: 1/1 Total: 6/6

Gladiators Lynx Watchmen Wild

4-1 Gladiators

Sorry in advance to the graders. Yes, it's a lot of text. I tried to make it short, but there are 10 teams. Even in bullet points it starts to repeat and get long.

VHLM Overview, Week 1 Edition: It's back! Hockey I mean, not the logo. I keep thinking this is Pacman's special cousin. Foreword: There are always a lot of off-season changes to the VHLM as players move up to make good on their VHL draft contracts, new players come to fill the void, and the VHLM gets juggled in the dispersal draft. This year also saw bigger changes as a host of VHLM GMs and Assistant GMs moved or got the first chance to earn their stripes. As a result, many teams went immediately into rebuild-mode and traded away key players for future draft picks, making the dividing line between cup contender and everyone else a little more clear. As a result, here’s my completely unbiased opinion of all the teams so far. Tier 1: Top Contenders (Rush, Wild and the Brats) No, this isn’t a 70s band or a children’s movie, these are the top 3 contenders for the Founder’s Cup this year. While it is probably foolish to write off any teams entirely, it is safe to say that three teams have made the biggest moves toward the Cup this year. Bratislava Watchmen (The Brats) They won the cup last year with a superstar roster, including “Roidberg” who picked up the Sakic, Esposito and Dionne trophies; Harumpf, winner of the Oates Trophy; Shock and De Rossi, who both played in the Top Prospects game in s40 as well as going 3rd and 8th overall in the s41 Draft; and a slew of other great and soon-to-be great players. While they lost Harumpf, Zoidberg and Shock to the VHL, Bratislava still has an excellent, albeit different star studded team. Veteran De Rossi has stayed down a year and will champion the forward position alongside Kyle Kingma, but the true strength of the Watchmen this year seems to be its defensive depth. They have two stars in defenders Karnage and Schneider and, if it passes them, two strong goalies in Barnstormer and his backup Douffet. In a league where goalies are scarce, the two goalied team is king(ma). Saskatoon Wild The Wild have made a ton of off-season moves to become the Rush’s biggest North American rivals this season. Does that matter? Frankly, no, because Yukon 2 gud, but they’re trying hard. That being said, what the Wild has is a fantastic, well rounded team of strong players. While they don’t have the same sort of super-star cast that Bratislava had, they have an excellent core. Karlsson, Samuelsson and Salvador are competing hard to be the team’s top defender and the race is neck-and-neck. Their offensive powers come all across the board – Willcox, Joesph Roy III, Kurri and others, all backed by Gunnar Skovsgard in net. Also, with the new regulations in place this season, it will be harder for single players to carry teams, so the Wild will be a team to watch out for, especially as their players develop. Yukon Rush Yukon 2 gud. Need I say more? I shouldn’t, but I’m going to do it anyway. The Rush really put a lot of focus on their offensive core this year. Like, incredible focus. They’ve got Koeing, McJustice, Cattrall, Patton, Firkley, DeLarge, Muller, and just picked up RW Vogon Jeltz. Wow. The real problem with the Rush is their defensive depth. They have a strong goalie in Orkanitz and defensive star Brandon Holmes, who is quickly mentoring his line-mate Patrick Demko. After that, it gets a little shaky, but really… with all that offensive, they should be able to generate enough points to compensate for any defensive lacking. Also, need I say it again? Yukon 2 gud. Tier 2: Dark Horses These are teams that don’t have as much immediately developed talent, but still have potential to come from behind, especially as players improve over the season. Turku Outlaws The Outlaws are in a good position to dark horse this year. At their forefront, they have Bobby Ricky, who came out of the Ottawa Lynx last year with an excellent showing on a losing team; however, he has also had a history of substance abuse that may come to rear its ugly head later in the season. They also have a deep roster with other players like Savage, Grosberg, Strauss and a lot of undeveloped talent. They also have Klajums in net, who has shown a lot of good in his short stint in narrow, VHLM lime-light. Not a team to be written off just yet. Minot Gladiators They have a number of VHLM regulars, which bodes well for a solid set of second stringers, but they seem to be lacking in the star category going into the season. They do have a lot of potential though: Goalie David Blind made a number of headlines last season, and newcomer/backup goalie Blake Campbell is said to have almost limitless potential himself. They also have other fledgling players like Cap’n Crunch, Zeptenbergs and Ready, who could grow to be stars. Brampton Blades The Blades started out with an incredible 5-0 win streak, which shocked many teams and puts them as a dark horse contender. A closer analysis of the team shows they have some potential: Harkness, Zug and Sinclair have all put up reasonable numbers, but the Blades will have a tough time keeping up the pace and cracking the final 4. Tier 3: Even Darker Horses (A.k.a rebuilding teams) Every team in this list has been gutted, looking to rebuild in the coming seasons. Moscow Red Wolves They’ve got the Lynx’s underperforming goalie from last year, Coca Cola in net, and a VHLM lifer Bokan as their star defender. They have a bit of spark in the inconsistent Ziedins and newcomer Tuzis, but it will be a long shot for them to compete with powerhouses like Bratislava. Oslo Storm Not much to go on. Their whole hope seems to be resting on Baumann, but that’s is really a lot of hope. Bern Royals This team may be the biggest rebuild of them all. They have new blood in first years Steven Bradbury and Atticus Finch, and a slight help in Jordan Cousins but after that, there is literally nothing. Ottawa Lynx They didn’t put up much of a show last year, and this year seems to be yet another rebuild. They have veterans Sledgehammer, and Raseri, a few newcomers in Moriarty and Malinowski, but they are a long shade off their s39 championship team. Hopefully, the newcomers will learn a lot before the s41 draft, but there is little hope of a Founder’s Cup for Ottawa this year. TL;DR All together, it'll be an interesting year. 3 top contenders, 3 dark horses, and four teams in the midst of big rebuilds. Also, did I say this enough? YUKON 2 GUD

Stop trying to make "Shockly" happen. It's not going to happen.