pxzero

Content: 3/3 Well over the word count. Blake really has an informal interview style, but I can't help that phrases like "Dipped the D" can't help his PR for the big leagues - but after the last revelation, I feel like that's small potatoes. I'm glad he's able to play, but the legal ramifications might come back to haunt him. Finally, wouldn't Blake Campbell's abbreviation be BC? Grammar: 2/2 Lots in the beginning that could have been caught, but it cleans up quickly until the end. Careful next time, lazy errors will cost you. a solid goalie, your team - homophone, wrong your. but it's much harder to win games - word choice, more harder doesn't makes sense your goalie's five hole - missed apostrophe. the five hole is belonging to the goalie, not a plural of goalie. this episode of Behind the Mask - missing capital. Behind the Mask is a title in this instance. ** Minot seen me sitting there ** - not an issue, the word is "saw" BUT it's dialogue, so Blake can talk how he wants BTM says - True and fair enough - keep it consistent. This is the last one of the set and it's really obvious there's a difference here. until she passed out, you took her home - missed a comma in the list, made it difficult to read and medical professionals believed he - doesn't make sense. Needs to be either "a medical professional believed" or "medical professionals believed" Appearance: 1/1 Looks great

Content: 3/3 It's been a bad season for the Legion, that's for sure. Those special teams numbers are insane! Hopefully there will be some big moves in the future - and some talent coming up from the VHL to fill some holes! Grammar: 2/2 Didn't see much. A few commas here and there While not wrong, the "with just ten games remaining" makes the first sentence a little unwieldy faceoffs with Tyler Cote, the only player - missing comma Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

Content: 3/3 It's definitely been a crazy week. Good luck as GM! Grammar: 2/2 Nothing major. A few commas, and one typo. Season 37 when the torch was passed - typo, missing letter Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

Gah. I need to find more time with school!! Claim 2 this week

Aim with 4 points? Accursed robot. Rigged.

wut de heck. Rigged fo sho

And another hatty! Whoo baby. Yukon 2 gud indeed.

Content: 2.75/3 I'm going to go with lere on this one. It's a little short, and the "related to the VHL" is getting tenuous at best. You get a pass this week, mostly because this is the "final" hero post, but I will be more harsh next week. I'm also not sure how exactly he opened the door a few inches into a concrete wall, then managed to find the matchbox taped to it, unless he has crazy Mr. Fantastic-like extendable fingers. Grammar: 2/2 Didn't really see any issues. Appearance: 1/1 I've never had an issues with the overabundance of images. I found it was a part of your style, disjointed like the story & sentences themselves. Overall: 5.25 + 5.75 = 5.5 rounded up to 6 It was a close one. Next week, we'll be watching!

Content: 3/3 Well thought out, very interesting just like last week. It would definitely make drafts a lot crazier, and player loyalty a lot more of an issue. Grammar: 2/2 I swear there must be something wrong, but I didn't seem to find anything? Even if there is a mistake, it's definitely small enough for full marks. Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

I think this is a HOF article, meaning 6 + 3 automatically? If not, you get easy full marks. I did a quick once over anyway, just in case. Content: 3/3 Grammar: 2/2 You love that double space after a period, eh? names come to mind. Aiden Shaw, CAL G, Tomas Tukio, Daisuke Kanou, and, of course, Alexander Labatte. - this is not a sentence. I'd change the period to a : to make the list fit, or say "Names such as Aiden..." consistent as [-] Alexander - I'd change this to a simple period. The last sentence makes sense on its own. Appearance: 1/1

You get 6/6 for the bust post alone. Do I even need to grade? Content: 3/3 Nice overview. He's definitely looking good! Grammar: 2/2 Your enemy the commas is back. this left-winger from Germany[,] has been - unnecessary comma key part to the Outlaw's - word choice. I'd opt for "of" mostly[,] thanks to their top line - unnecessary comma cuz - even as dialogue that's not a real word. " 'cause " would have worked better. because, historically, - missing comma kind of stuff,” Wolfgang said. - wrong punctuation, should be comma he first round but, depending on the needs of the VHL teams and their picks, - missing comma growing up, Strauss says without hesitation: - missing comma, missing letter Appearance: 1/1 yep

Content: 3/3 Hit the word count and who doesn't love a good rant? Grammar: 2/2 and play on Helsinki, well, you're gonna - missing comma play for a team like New York or Quebec[, ]you'll only - two ways to fix: Either ", where you'll" or change the punctuation to -. Dexter Morgan, hell, he - missing comma Appearance: 1/1 Yep

Content: 3/3 A little short for my taste (523 words), just because I'd like to read more, but it fits the bill. Grammar: 2/2 Not much that I saw get to your head,” Ken explained. - punctuation swap general managers - no need for apostrophe, it's a plural “On draft day, the general manager’s will draft whoever they please and once the season starts and it’s time to hit the ice, the order of the draft becomes a moot point and it becomes all about who has the guts and the determination to make it.” - borderline run-on sentence BUT since it's dialogue it's not a real problem Appearance: 1/1 Looks good. It's a little thing, but I really love that extra-large opening letter.

I'm back from a *not wanted* break from the internet! However, here's a grade as a belated x-mas present. Content: 3/3 It's all there. Grammar: 2/2 - there were a lot of lazy errors in this one. Proofread, or I'll dock you next time! both got off the rig, but Kendrick put a tracker on Wahl. - comma his shoulder. Barnstormer raced - makes more sense as a period hockey career." - makes more sense as a period codec[']s - no apostrophe. It's a plural of codec, not belong to codecs. have any player[']s - no apostrophe again. plural, not belonging to something in her ear - no e. Here ear makes no sense "I can't fucking believe it. She actually said, 'I only count three rings. That isn't good enough for me,'" - use single quotations when putting a quote inside dialogue. group. ["] - floating, unnecessary end quote Appearance: 1/1 Looks good

Didn't get a shout out. We are now mortal enemies. Merry Christmas.

Holy smokes.

Yeah, I know. I docked you the majority of your points in the pros/cons section, because you didn't hit the mark that we set out there. In terms of grammar, I'm really not trying to penalize you for not having a perfect mastery of English. I could definitely tell English isn't your forte, so instead of marking you for everything, I only I got you for things that I deem "lazy errors". I'd recommend running your work through a word processor on the English setting. It'll catch most of these for you. I know the irony of saying "lazy errors" when it takes you effort to write than some of the rest of us, but perhaps a different grader will have a different opinion than me. That's why there are two marks

Yeah, that's what it says! Also, in the same token... I'm going to change my avatar for the holiday season.

Rush Wild Outlaws Storm

Outlaws 6-4

Overview: 2/2 To the point, well outlined Pros & Cons: 3/3 Good pros and cons. They do repeat themselves a little bit, but many of the skills overlap and work toward a similar end goal. Grammar: 2/2 Nothing earth shattering, but I found a few things. multiple setbacks for example, including a leg injury - in the context of this sentence, you only need one or the other. Both are redundant and sort of confused. when they come to him, rather than positioning - comma have always known what to - missing a letter/spelling , Sinclair would likely have... ...now, but would also - not so much an error as a style preference, but the way you've set up the sentence makes the lack of parallel structure sound weird and comes across as awkward wording less-than-stellar - if you're going to hyphenate, you have to hyphenate it all. less than stellar or less-than-stellar Presentation: 1/1 Looks good. I really like the colours/formatting.

Overview: 2/2 Hits the word count, you get all the information in there. I would have liked to see his hometown or country of origin in the initial stat line, but it's found in the first paragraph so that's okay. Pros & Cons: 1.5/3 Your pros and cons are great, and well thought out. The problem here is that they're way too short. We asked for 3 each (total 6) at 350-400 words. You've got 2 each (total 4), and only 242 words total. It's honestly just not done, and I can't award full marks for it. Grammar: 1/2 Lots of issues here, I'm afraid. I can tell you're not a native English speaker, so I'll give you a break on the commas and missing articles. I'm going to put them in because they're still mistakes, but that's not what you're losing marks for. I'm not expecting you to have a perfect mastery of the language, however, there is still a standard to keep up. The big issues are these: Capitalization, wrong punctuation, spelling errors. I bolded the ones I docked you for, but overall it adds up to a lot. If you ever have trouble, ask a teammate for help proofreading. Height: 6'4" - You had the markers backwards. Right now, you're saying he's 6 inches tall, +4. He's a new player in this league. - missing article and I'm pretty sure - capitalization, missing apostrophe and at waivers Moscow Red Wolves - spelling! That's your team with 10-12 minutes of playing time - plural and missing article put him on the 2nd line - missing article him down..Next season - second period does not belong and, as I said, his head coach saw that - missing commas, article named the AIK captain next season - missing article an offer from VHL.. - second period doesn't belong Strengths - spelling but his accuracy is way - wrong word Everyone hopes that Joakim - spelling/missing a letter (though this one is a tense thing, that might be due to the language barrier) Too aggressive sometimes. - spelling/missing a letter Yes, Videl is a very aggressive - missing article it's just too much - missing apostrophe (contraction of "it is") but sometimes a penalty is given - missing article he needs to be more patient - missing a letter (also a tense thing) he left the penalty box, - missing article Videl received a game misconduct and a 7 game ban - missing articles Presentation: 1/1 Well formatted, nice pictures. Overall: 5.5/8 I hate giving a grade so low, but you've got to read the rubric.

I hope this year you make the playoffs. Next year, we'll win them!

Clearly rigged.