fyrefly

It's awesome. Thanks a lot, man

dammit I missed number 2

1. I think we're a really good team, and I hope the other recent additions and I can add to that success 2. Hot chocolate, easy 3. Getting a first that high would have been really good 4. I got an Xbox not too long ago for Christmas 5. I don't know man, I've been on quite a few lately. I just try to earn a little extra TPE that week 6. Winter, no contest

yep

lol sure man

I'm in the raffle now

Tag please

I saw Cabe's article on stopping his crack cocaine and starting to drink his own semen, and I realized that Juniper is a boring child when it comes to pre game routines. Here's what I did: 12 hours before game: I don't know what time this will be, since the sims are all over the place. … 4 hours before the game: Eat a massive meal filled with grasshoppers, crickets, and maple syrup. Absolute protein blast with some sweetener. Truly gets you ready for a big game 3 hours before game: Xbox time. Get the mind off of how there are bugs in your stomach right now. Just play. 2 hours before the game: Listen to music. Preferably Drake or Weezer. Either one works to hype the hell out of me 1 hour before the game: Head to the rink, and start to warm up. Play some soccer keep up with the rest of the team because that's what we do 1/2 hour before the game: Put your gear on and get out on the ice for warm ups. The start of the game: Here we go boys. 1st intermission: Tall glass of pickle juice. Tastes like demon sauce but it is good for your play. Fight through the pain. 2nd intermission: Eat a KitKat. You heard me right. I time is so I only get the sugar high, not the slump afterwards. Gives me a little boost of energy 3rd intermission: Celebrate a lot because Juniper got 5 points in 2 games(including a hatty in the second one). 259 words

Review: I like how you're not writing about the Leafs, it makes your articles a lot better. Good job highlighting guys who are helping the team a lot, and I like the shout-out to management too. Maybe give it a bolded title or something next time, and break it up a bit more 8/10

Review: I hope you had fun with the Ouija board. Anyway, this is a great article, I love how you recognize your favourite teammates. I like the logos and the bold words, and the nice short paragraphs are good, too. 9/10

1. My bust of a player Juniper is. He's supposed to be a scorer, and he's nine points under a point per game. I think if he rekindles the fire, it will help a lot 2. Do I have a choice right now? Either way, Founder's Cup all the way 3. I think the Reapers are slightly better, but I would prefer not to play Mexico and risk a confrontation with their drugs 4. A friend told me about it, and I think just going through the career process is pretty damn cool 5. Among us for sure. 6. Three sentences or less? God damnit man. Let's start here. Why would you even want a good tasting fruit on your pizza? Pizza is supposed to taste cheesy and bready(?), not juicy and sweet. Let alone a freeze dried hunk of pineapple. Pizza doesn't deserve to be ruined by the demonized devil trend that is pineapple.

Claiming week 2/2

There is no problem my man!! Ron is a beast!

Review: I have no choice but to cheer for Jim Bob here. Go fight your fights, man. Love the photo, and the paragraphs. Great job 9/10

1. I think we definitely have a good team, but we're in a tough division, so I guess whoever's better in the long term will be the best 2. No, I think Simon doesn't like crazy insane stacked teams, so I think a scrappy team like us has a serious shot 3. Fairchild has been crushing it recently 4. 90 for scoring. It'll take a lot of work, but that's work I'm willing to do 5. Yeah, I'd say I'm ready. For the Wolves, Gregg Stallion seems like a funny guy 6. Getting back to Toronto to be with the family, and have a nice dinner together.

So I'm back with my second article of the night, this one shorter and about my little scoring slump. My player is Sheldon Juniper, a scoring winger on the Yukon Rush. I had an okay regular season with Miami last season, and then blew up the playoffs, helping the Marauders win the Founders' Cup. Then, in the VHLM dispersal draft, Juniper fell to the late second round to the Rush and I got really pissed and wrote a huge rant about it. Then, literally the next day, Beav and the Vancouver Wolves reached and grabbed Juniper in the mid-second round, much higher than he was supposed to go. That more than soothed my anger. So here I am, in Juniper's sophomore season. The season started off with a bang, with Juniper just raking in the points, and being on all the leaderboards. Then, my scoring slump hit. I didn't record a single point in three or four games, which might not sound like much, but for a winger who is supposed to be challenging for league leading scorer, it's rough. Luckily, just last game, Juniper got his magic back and propelled the Rush to a W with a two assist, three point game. So not much of a slump, but enough of one to make me a little concerned and a lot less cocky. 224 words

Claiming week 1/2

So I need to do another media spot, and I got the brilliant idea of doing two all-star teams. This is mostly based on stats, and if you're not included, no hard feelings. There will be five forwards, two defencemen, and one goalie per team. I made two teams because I think there isn't enough spots for all the exceptional players on only one team. Another big reason for it is that I can't recognize only one goalie. Both Carson and Emerson were deserving, and Sovick was probably deserving, too. I also thought more than two defencemen deserved to be recognized, as lots of them play different styles. And lastly, I figured there are so many forwards capable of being on these teams, I should include as many as possible. Team 1 Forwards: Cabe McJake, Miami Marauders Addison McLaren, Philadelphia Reapers Dolant Fertitta, Halifax 21st Defencemen: Cowboy Prout, San Diego Marlins Ron World Peace lll, Minnesota Storm Goalie: Jacob Carson, Philadelphia Reapers This one was almost entirely based on stats, although I didn't just pick the top couple guys from the stats leaderboard. I'll start with McJake. I was teammates with this guy last season, and the dude is a monster. To start this season, he had 9 goals in 3 games. Now, he has 15 goals in 16 games, which puts him in second in the league for that. He is at 290 TPE now, with 40 banked because of the VHLM max. What we do know is that next season, he'll be ready to step in as an impact player for Riga. My mind was blown when Addison McLaren fell to 7th overall in the draft. Sure, GMs might have been worried that he'd go up to the VHL, but when everyone realized he wasn't, it became clear what a steal this was. I would describe McLaren as a wrecking ball. he can score, he can hit, he can do it all. Beast. Dolant Fertitta is the third member of the Riga Reign I'm mentioning here. And while Fertitta isn't at the top of any point standings, his reliable two way game has had the 21st leaning on him for success, and he has delivered. He is also maxed out for the VHLM. Cowboy Prout was the first overall pick in the dispersal draft, and it has more than paid off. San Diego took a bit of a risk choosing two defencemen with the first two picks, but both him and that other guy have done just fine. Prout is four points above point per game, and he is on the leaderboard for both hits and penalty minutes. When I was looking at defencemen for this team, the stats screamed at me, 'choose Ron World Peace lll, he is DOMINATING' but I hesitated, because he is only 70 TPE and hasn't earned more than 6 TPE per week. But he has a perfect build, so I put him on the team. He is leading defencemen in points and is on the leaderboard for shots blocked. For goalies, I don't know anything about their build, so I just look for who's most consistent in showing up on the leaderboard. That guy was Jacob Carson, who is backing the Philadelphia Reapers to the top of the standings. He has 11 wins and only 3 losses, which is pretty damn good. Team 2 Forwards: Robert Bouchard, Philadelphia Reapers Steve Eso, Saskatoon Wild RJ Thatcher, Mexico City Kings Defencemen: Scotty Kaberle, San Diego Marlins Jolly Greene Giant, Philadelphia Reapers Goalie: Markus Emerson Jr., Mexico City Kings Robert Bouchard is currently leading the league in points with 34 points in 16 games. He has five more points than the second place guy. He has more than an assist per game, and is in the top ten in goals, too. Overall, a dominant season, and he might get a championship with the Reapers Steve Eso is 2nd in points, behind only Bouchard. Eso is another one of those players who doesn't have a ton of TPE(214), but has a great build, so he scores a lot of points and is a force on the ice. He doesn't get a lot of TPE, but that perfect build thing comes in again. He also generates a heck ton of shots. RJ Thatcher has had much more pressure than some of the other guys here, because he was drafted 5th overall by the New York Americans, so he's a top prospect. He's maxed in the VHLM, and usually earns a lot of TPE. He gets even more shots than Eso, and he's a key player on the dominant Kings. Scotty Kaberle was drafted by the Marlins 2nd overall in the dispersal draft, and he's that other guy I was talking about with Prout. Kaberle is also near the top of defencemen scoring leaderboards, and is a great earner who will be maxed very soon. He also has a very good build. Jolly Greene Giant was my final defenceman pick. He was picked 2nd overall in the VHL draft, to the Toronto Legion, the same team as Kaberle. He is well over the VHLM max, and he will step into the Legion lineup next season. But for now, he dominates the VHLM with the Reapers. He is on the leaderboard for defencemen points, plus/minus, hits, and power-play goals, which is hard to do. Markus Emerson Jr. is the second goalie I picked, and it was close between him and Matthew A Sovick Jr. from the Aces. Emerson is the goalie for the stacked Mexico team, and he is on the goalie leaderboards for save percentage and goals against average. He is over the VHLM max, and will join the Vancouver Wolves next season. I don't want to see any of that .FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY crap. I don't exactly have a reliable opinion, so if you feel FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY, don't. Players mentioned: @Gaikoku-hito, @tcookie25, @Dolant, @jhatty8, @Eso, @RedSus, @stevo, @DoktorFunk, @fromtheinside, @Prout, @Xflexz, @jacobcarson877 1,003 words

Fuck discord, we don’t really need it, right? What the hell is vegemite and why is it better than jam Best VHL gm Best VHLM gm who should be a VHL gm Best commish who is not currently a commish

It’s great, thanks man

So I have some free time, so I figured I'd look at some of Vancouver's draft picks this year Round 2, 23rd overall: Sheldon Juniper @fyrefly Hey, it's me! I think it's kind of scary being the first pick for a team, just because of the pressure. Anyway, the Wolves seem like a quality organization, so I'm looking forward to joining them. Juniper will provide some scoring for sure, and defensively sound play as well. Round 2, 30th overall: Jakob Sosa, @TMGSosa One of the picks I'm pretty excited about. Sosa has been a guy you can rely on to be more than a clicker, as he actually got 22 TPE last week. His stats were okay for Mexico with a 4th line role last season, but with 72 TPE in scoring, we can expect some points this year. Round 3, 35th overall: Michael Schmitdt @Kmatt Schmitdt is another guy who is more than a clicker, getting more than the usual 6 TPE per week. I think he has some promise, he got 18 TPE next week so I'm pretty impressed so far. His 74 scoring will definitely translate into some goals this season for the Rush Round 3, 44th overall: Louis Louchard @Jérémy Louchard Yet another guy who's more than a clicker, Beav really rocked this draft. Louchard is a very new member of the site and his TPE has been promising so far. From my understanding, he currently does not have a VHLM team(?) but I'm sure some team will realize and sign him.

Thanks for the mention, I may or may not have been crossing my fingers for Riga! Anyway, good luck there. Go Wolves

Hey guys. It's me, fyrefly, armed with a new profile pic, and a new media spot. I got this profile pic by googling "fyrefly" because that's what we all do, google ourselves. You know you do it, so own up. Anyway, I went to images and two showed up: And because we're all smart people on this site(just kidding), and some of you know about the rage I showed in my last media spot, and you can very clearly see which of these two animals is more badass, you should be able to tell very easily which one I picked. I picked this one You're probably now thinking, wow fyrefly, you're so fucking funny. In a sarcastic sort of way. And if you are, thank you. I've been called much worse So now that I've made this badass little bug my profile pic, and I told everyone about it here, I am now forced to get on with the writing of the weekly media spot. So here we go. So I'm just going to go through some of my early experiences in the VHL. I know it's a mess up there^ , but bear with me and don't give me a 2/10 on your reviews just yet. Why I gave my player a boring ass name Sheldon Juniper is a boring name. Sheldon I got from the show Young Sheldon, which I thought was an okay show but I thought the name of the real smart kid was cool. And Juniper is just something I got off a name generator somewhere. Still, a boring name compared to the likes of Thadius Sales, Cabe McJake, and Pistil Stamen. I've also been thinking of the name of my second gen, who will come out in like a year. Using McJake's genius formula, I have created the following: David McConnor, Carron McMichael, Ginn McBrock, Kegg McGreg, and Kinnon MacNathan, among others. It's ingenious, and I'll probably do one of those. Or, to spice it up a little, some other ones I made up: Star Bucks and Thor Rag Narrock. I'm still working on it Getting signed midseason I had made my player, I was ready to roll in the league. So the site gave me a create a player thread and within two hours I had two offers! Now I was getting excited. I was joining the league. I accepted the offer from the Miami Marauders, who I would eventually win the Founder's Cup with, and all the hype about Juniper was over. I was just another waiver signing. But I kept my excitement, claiming practice facility and welfare at the start of every week because I didn't know anything about the forum and ways to get TPE. Once I got going, started doing pressers, vhl.com stuff, and media spots, I noticed that Juniper's ice time was increasing. This was at the end of the regular season. Then, he hits 120 TPE, and he gets put on the second line for the playoffs, and absolutely rips it up. ^This is Juniper's create a player thread. My first experience on the site, and a happy one Drafts Drafts. Both the VHLM Dispersal Draft and the VHL Entry Draft this year left me with a whole new meaning for the word. Excitement, disappointment, and pure happiness are among the feelings you go through as your player's name gets called. In the VHLM dispersal draft, Juniper fell from the late first round to the late second round, something that prompted me to make a rant media spot about it. I have a pretty short temper, so I really let loose in that one. The next day, in the VHL draft, my anger was soothed by the Vancouver Wolves, who reached to draft me in the mid second round. I'm grateful to Beav for having such confidence in a non-discord member, and it's my goal to prove he made the right choice(major cliche alert lmfao). The future And now I predict the future. I'm playing next season, which starts next Wednesday I believe, for the Yukon Rush. A team that was a contender last year, but also scraped together some picks for the draft, so probably a contender again. I expect Juniper, being a first liner on the Rush, to get 50 goals. Not the humblest of expectations, but necessary to motivate me to keep earning like crazy. I expect San Diego to win the Cup, as they got an insane amount of talent at the draft, and I'll bet I make the jump to Vancouver next season. 700 something words