Jericho

For those of you who read my last article, you learned a very valuable lesson: Noah Lefevre is the Ron Burgundy of the VHL. Ron Burgundy was amazing, but he didn't do it alone. He has his Champ Kind (Pope). His Brian Fantana (Me). His Veronica Corningstone (Meg). This story tells you about his Brick Tamland: Damien Walec.
 
Most of you know the origin of the Pajodcast Crew. A bunch of VHL dudes started talking on skype one day. The members of the crew have grown and shrank over the years. During this time we always had myself, Devise and Advantage. People would phase in and out: Jason, Noah, Boom and Streetlight. All of us were guys in their early to mid (or late in old man Jason's case) twenties. All except one.
 
Every group needs the younger guy who struggles to obtain an identity with his older brethren. A Ginny Weasley if you will. Ours was Damien. Though he's now a stunt double for Bin Laden with his sick and greasy beard he was once a fresh faced teenager who had trouble talking to girls. This is the story of how he became a man.
 

Look at that fucking thing!!
 
It was a few months before his prom, and Damien needed a date. He asked for help from his friends while building a sick cloud fortress in Terraria with Devise and I. We didn't have much advice, because I was in a relationship during my prom and Devise is immune to women. We branched out to Noah, but he lost his virginity as soon as he left the womb to the nearest nurse, so his answer wasn't a practical one. Boom gave a girl a kangaroo, Advantage bought a hooker and Jason built a robo-date: none of which were valid options for Damien. It was at this time that I told him he had to sack and initiate the Theta Protocol.
 
Damien found a target: A cute girl in his gym class. He walked up to her one day after totally obliterating the Beep Test and asked her to follow him. They went off into a quiet corner and he proceeded to show her a photo. At first glance, it looked like an early version of a naked selfie. In actuality, Damien had used his mad photoshop skills to put his head on Noah's body and used one of HIS naked selfies, because the penis was more impressive. The girl took him into the locker room and had her way with him then and there. They probably went to the prom too, but from that day on Damien was a true man. Those pipes, were clean....and how.
 

I am the one who knocks...
 
From that day on Damien was a changed man. He grew out his terrorist beard and started 420 blazing it every day. He eventually grew a second dick and proceeded to have a threesome where he could actually satisfy two women at the same time, a feat nobody else in the world had been able to accomplish (barring Noah). It was totally sweet. The End.
 

For those of you who read my last article, you learned a very valuable lesson: Noah Lefevre is the Ron Burgundy of the VHL. Ron Burgundy was amazing, but he didn't do it alone. He has his Champ Kind (Pope). His Brian Fantana (Me). His Veronica Corningstone (Meg). This story tells you about his Brick Tamland: Damien Walec.
 
Most of you know the origin of the Pajodcast Crew. A bunch of VHL dudes started talking on skype one day. The members of the crew have grown and shrank over the years. During this time we always had myself, Devise and Advantage. People would phase in and out: Jason, Noah, Boom and Streetlight. All of us were guys in their early to mid (or late in old man Jason's case) twenties. All except one.
 
Every group needs the younger guy who struggles to obtain an identity with his older brethren. A Ginny Weasley if you will. Ours was Damien. Though he's now a stunt double for Bin Laden with his sick and greasy beard he was once a fresh faced teenager who had trouble talking to girls. This is the story of how he became a man.
 

Look at that fucking thing!!
 
It was a few months before his prom, and Damien needed a date. He asked for help from his friends while building a sick cloud fortress in Terraria with Devise and I. We didn't have much advice, because I was in a relationship during my prom and Devise is immune to women. We branched out to Noah, but he lost his virginity as soon as he left the womb to the nearest nurse, so his answer wasn't a practical one. Boom gave a girl a kangaroo, Advantage bought a hooker and Jason built a robo-date: none of which were valid options for Damien. It was at this time that I told him he had to sack and initiate the Theta Protocol.
 
Damien found a target: A cute girl in his gym class. He walked up to her one day after totally obliterating the Beep Test and asked her to follow him. They went off into a quiet corner and he proceeded to show her a photo. At first glance, it looked like an early version of a naked selfie. In actuality, Damien had used his mad photoshop skills to put his head on Noah's body and used one of HIS naked selfies, because the penis was more impressive. The girl took him into the locker room and had her way with him then and there. They probably went to the prom too, but from that day on Damien was a true man. Those pipes, were clean....and how.
 

I am the one who knocks...
 
From that day on Damien was a changed man. He grew out his terrorist beard and started 420 blazing it every day. He eventually grew a second dick and proceeded to have a threesome where he could actually satisfy two women at the same time, a feat nobody else in the world had been able to accomplish (barring Noah). It was totally sweet. The End.
 

For those of you who read my last article, you learned a very valuable lesson: Noah Lefevre is the Ron Burgundy of the VHL. Ron Burgundy was amazing, but he didn't do it alone. He has his Champ Kind (Pope). His Brian Fantana (Me). His Veronica Corningstone (Meg). This story tells you about his Brick Tamland: Damien Walec.
 
Most of you know the origin of the Pajodcast Crew. A bunch of VHL dudes started talking on skype one day. The members of the crew have grown and shrank over the years. During this time we always had myself, Devise and Advantage. People would phase in and out: Jason, Noah, Boom and Streetlight. All of us were guys in their early to mid (or late in old man Jason's case) twenties. All except one.
 
Every group needs the younger guy who struggles to obtain an identity with his older brethren. A Ginny Weasley if you will. Ours was Damien. Though he's now a stunt double for Bin Laden with his sick and greasy beard he was once a fresh faced teenager who had trouble talking to girls. This is the story of how he became a man.
 

Look at that fucking thing!!
 
It was a few months before his prom, and Damien needed a date. He asked for help from his friends while building a sick cloud fortress in Terraria with Devise and I. We didn't have much advice, because I was in a relationship during my prom and Devise is immune to women. We branched out to Noah, but he lost his virginity as soon as he left the womb to the nearest nurse, so his answer wasn't a practical one. Boom gave a girl a kangaroo, Advantage bought a hooker and Jason built a robo-date: none of which were valid options for Damien. It was at this time that I told him he had to sack and initiate the Theta Protocol.
 
Damien found a target: A cute girl in his gym class. He walked up to her one day after totally obliterating the Beep Test and asked her to follow him. They went off into a quiet corner and he proceeded to show her a photo. At first glance, it looked like an early version of a naked selfie. In actuality, Damien had used his mad photoshop skills to put his head on Noah's body and used one of HIS naked selfies, because the penis was more impressive. The girl took him into the locker room and had her way with him then and there. They probably went to the prom too, but from that day on Damien was a true man. Those pipes, were clean....and how.
 

I am the one who knocks...
 
From that day on Damien was a changed man. He grew out his terrorist beard and started 420 blazing it every day. He eventually grew a second dick and proceeded to have a threesome where he could actually satisfy two women at the same time, a feat nobody else in the world had been able to accomplish (barring Noah). It was totally sweet. The End.
 

For those of you who read my last article, you learned a very valuable lesson: Noah Lefevre is the Ron Burgundy of the VHL. Ron Burgundy was amazing, but he didn't do it alone. He has his Champ Kind (Pope). His Brian Fantana (Me). His Veronica Corningstone (Meg). This story tells you about his Brick Tamland: Damien Walec.
 
Most of you know the origin of the Pajodcast Crew. A bunch of VHL dudes started talking on skype one day. The members of the crew have grown and shrank over the years. During this time we always had myself, Devise and Advantage. People would phase in and out: Jason, Noah, Boom and Streetlight. All of us were guys in their early to mid (or late in old man Jason's case) twenties. All except one.
 
Every group needs the younger guy who struggles to obtain an identity with his older brethren. A Ginny Weasley if you will. Ours was Damien. Though he's now a stunt double for Bin Laden with his sick and greasy beard he was once a fresh faced teenager who had trouble talking to girls. This is the story of how he became a man.
 

Look at that fucking thing!!
 
It was a few months before his prom, and Damien needed a date. He asked for help from his friends while building a sick cloud fortress in Terraria with Devise and I. We didn't have much advice, because I was in a relationship during my prom and Devise is immune to women. We branched out to Noah, but he lost his virginity as soon as he left the womb to the nearest nurse, so his answer wasn't a practical one. Boom gave a girl a kangaroo, Advantage bought a hooker and Jason built a robo-date: none of which were valid options for Damien. It was at this time that I told him he had to sack and initiate the Theta Protocol.
 
Damien found a target: A cute girl in his gym class. He walked up to her one day after totally obliterating the Beep Test and asked her to follow him. They went off into a quiet corner and he proceeded to show her a photo. At first glance, it looked like an early version of a naked selfie. In actuality, Damien had used his mad photoshop skills to put his head on Noah's body and used one of HIS naked selfies, because the penis was more impressive. The girl took him into the locker room and had her way with him then and there. They probably went to the prom too, but from that day on Damien was a true man. Those pipes, were clean....and how.
 

I am the one who knocks...
 
From that day on Damien was a changed man. He grew out his terrorist beard and started 420 blazing it every day. He eventually grew a second dick and proceeded to have a threesome where he could actually satisfy two women at the same time, a feat nobody else in the world had been able to accomplish (barring Noah). It was totally sweet. The End.
 

You're in the spinoff. Part two Damien...part two...

our butts hurt

PEW PEW!

You know what's fun, when you go to your gate like 4 hours early, and then you find out that they moved your gplane tot he gate on the other side of the terminal 5 minutes before boarding.
 
Lucky for me I beat the flight attendants (who also hadn't been informed) so I was still on time. But FUCK Toronto's shitty airport!

You show some respect for Jan Egeland Victor!
 
He's the United Nations super hero man!

i lolled

Snow Makes Waves to Start GM Tenure
 
Anyone who knows the name Kyle Snow can attribute it to a few things. Good players, loyalty and controversial decisions. Having held a lot of positions during his 21 seasons in the league he's made a lot of decisions that people haven't agreed with. Now, having just started his second reign as a VHLM GM he's already started to raise eyebrows and make headlines.
 

Kyle Snow, GM of the Watchmen and also Iron Man
 
To set the stage, Snow was brought in as the GM of the Bratislava Watchmen in less than ideal circumstances. Replacing his predecessor mid season he was faced with decisions that required his immediate attention. The Watchmen had an over abundance of active forwards and there wasn't enough ice time for everyone. After taking time to assess his assets and decide what he wanted he struck a trade within 24 hours to send several of his young players away for an inactive, high TPE player. This allowed him to give everyone reasonable ice time and the assets he retained were satisfied with the results.
 
The same could not be said for the assets he sent away. In the time since the trade we've seen a multitude of outraged posts and point tasks dedicated to showing the lack of appreciation the prospects have for being dealt. Snow has not issued an apology and only now comments on the trade for the first time.
 
"I make no apologies for the trade I made. I had a job to do and someone had to go. I sent away a waiver pickup, essentially a rental, and a defenseman who Terrence [Fong] demanded be part of the deal. The trade sent my guys somewhere they'd do well and be surrounded by peers. I could have given them much worse homes. As for the results, we're 7-1 since I took over and made that trade. They speak for themselves. I'm not done with the trades yet either. I plan to win, and I'm going to do it by upholding my personal standards. I want a team that's happy on the day-to-day. A team that enjoys the journey, not just the destination. I hope that these young men can get past these hard feelings, but even if they don't I'm not going to think twice about this decision. It was the right call. Someone had to go, and I made the best of a situation I didn't ask for. The rest of the guys are pleased with how things have been going so far. We have a really positive dressing room and I'm incredibly happy with the guys I have left. Lastly I'd like to address the situation with Mr. Escobar. My predecessor had brought him on to shadow him until such time as a GM spot was made available to him. I've allowed him to stay on under my reign as well. He'll be allowed to learn from me until such time as he takes over another team for himself."
 

Mr. Escobar, the Assistant GM
 
From these comments we can assume that this isn't the last trade the Watchmen make. We'll see how this ultimately plays out. Will Snow piss anyone else off with his moves? Will that have any influence on his decisions? Previous history says that it probably won't, but time will tell to see how things go for the Watchmen and their new GM.

well you saw the pic gorlab posted!

when Ryan stops being an asshole.

Jason, our first battle comes to fruition.
 
Jesus Edwin, 17 shots. YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First and foremost, welcome to the VHL. It's incredibly tough to get used to at first, but don't let that dissuade you. You can make some great memories here. Trying to understand what you need to do each week and where everything is can be a challenge, so here's a list of things with hyperlinks to help you out.
 
To be done weekly
 
First and foremost, you want to get a point task done. You can do either a Media Spot, and Graphic or a Podcast every week. Media Spots are can be things like newspaper articles, stories or other written pieces of literature. Graphics are those sweet sigs you see everyone sporting. Podcasts are short radio shows, done by yourself or with a friend. These are graded out of 6 and need to be locked before you can claim them. The grading rubrics are posted in each of the sections and there's an FAQ pinned as well. These are worth 6 Points and are the main thing you'll need to do if you want a successful player.
 
If you can't get a PT done and the week is almost over, there is another option. Welfare can be done instead of a PT for less value. New members earn 2 TPE, so it isn't as beneficial as doing a PT, but all you have to do is post in the current thread. You're definitely better off doing a PT, but Welfare is better than nothing.
 
In addition to PTs you can also do a Fan 590 article. 590s are 150 word articles that are worth 1 TPE. You don't need to wait for a grade on these, so you can claim them immediately. You can alternatively do a 2 Point Podcast. These are the same as the 6 point ones, but aren't graded and can be shorter.
 
While you're in the VHLM you can also do the VHLM Practice Facility. Practice Facility is very easy. You post in the current thread every week and earn 1 TPE.
 
The Fantasy Zone is a great way to pick up extra TPE every once in a while. In the VHLM you can do both the VHL Fantasy Zone and the VHLM Fantasy Zone. It's very hard to predict the winners before you really know your way around, so you should just copy someone. If you win, great, if not no worries.
 
To be Done each Offseason
 
During the offseason there's another way to earn more TPE. Each season you can predict who will win the VHL awards in the Yearly Award Predictions. Again, super hard to do, so you should copy someone.
 
To be Done Once a Career
 
There are a few things you can do once a career that I strongly recommend doing early. VHLM Training Camp must be done before getting into the VHL, so try and do that ASAP. You can also do a Biography and Rookie Profile. These are a bit tougher, so make sure you read the rubric carefully before submitting.
 
So to recap
 
Every week do a
 
Media Spot or
Graphic or
Podcast or
Welfare (Try to do one of the above instead)
 
AND
 
Fan 590 or
2 Point Podcast
 
AND
 
Practice Facility
 
AND
 
Fantasy Zone
 
In addition to all this stuff, check out the VHLM Magazine. Each week you see an online magazine about your league! It's sick!
 
If you have any further questions please feel free to ask your GM!

Alright gents I've made an arrangement with Fong, I'm just waiting for him to accept it.
 
We're sending
 
Jefferson Jackson (Inactive)
Le'Sean Coutzen (Taron)
Stabby McFullofSchmidt (John Scott)
 
for Travix Wilcox (High TPE inactive)
 
Obviously I had to send some of our actives away so that we had ice time for everyone. I didn't really want to send away a defenseman but Fong was insistent and I was more worried about everyone getting fair play.
 
I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing for lines, and I'm gonna need to check the rules a bit since they've changed a lot since I last GM'd the VHLM. Back in the day you could play guys out of position without penalty since the emphasis was on getting guys to play over following the VHL rulebook. I'll keep you guys appraised of the situation as it develops.
 
Taron and Mr. Scott, you'll be in great hands with Fong as your GM. He was THE guy who did the most for the VHLM back in the day. He made the first steps toward making it a real league back in Season 20 and would have an award named after him if he didn't already have one in the VHL. He was inducted into the HOF as a Builder for the work he's done in the VHLM and he's a super nice guy.
 
Lastly, I was informed last night that Trifecta has Mr. Escobar on as an Assistant GM. He'll be remaining on as my Assistant GM as well. If you need something and I'm not around, feel free to go to him.

We're doing the LIVE VIDEO PAJODCAST TODAY! 5 PM EST! BE THERE!

Well it kind of got done. Davidson got about 10-12 mins in each game.
 
Not ideal, but it's more than zero and it got you an assist! Like I said as well, I'll be fixing that stuff soon.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome Jericho!

Hey gents, glad to be here. I know that we have an over-saturation of forwards and I'll be looking to remedy that as soon as possible. I care more about getting you guys ice time (preferably with other people) than winning, but I'm not exactly planning to lose. New member activity is the most important thing in the VHLM.
 
It might take a few days because I have to take stock of my assets and reacquaint myself with the VHLM. If anyone has any concerns or requests my PM box is always open. I'll be looking to remedy the situation as quickly as possible, but until we have few enough guys to play everyone every game I'll be doing a rotation.
 
For today I sent Higgins a PM asking him to put in anyone who hasn't been getting ice time. I didn't give specific lines since I was more concerned with getting those guys in than having them right on the first day. If the lines are wonky today don't worry, it isn't permanent.
 
I'll keep you guys updated as the situation progresses. Let's have some fun this year!

Hey gents, glad to be here. I know that we have an over-saturation of forwards and I'll be looking to remedy that as soon as possible. I care more about getting you guys ice time (preferably with other people) than winning, but I'm not exactly planning to lose. New member activity is the most important thing in the VHLM.
 
It might take a few days because I have to take stock of my assets and reacquaint myself with the VHLM. If anyone has any concerns or requests my PM box is always open. I'll be looking to remedy the situation as quickly as possible, but until we have few enough guys to play everyone every game I'll be doing a rotation.
 
For today I sent Higgins a PM asking him to put in anyone who hasn't been getting ice time. I didn't give specific lines since I was more concerned with getting those guys in than having them right on the first day. If the lines are wonky today don't worry, it isn't permanent.
 
I'll keep you guys updated as the situation progresses. Let's have some fun this year!

Phil didn't come to supper, that was Chris.
 
Ryan and I were the smart ones who got steak.

Cuz I'm hanging with Chris and you're not!
 
*Devise isn't here because he slept through his alarm. Seriously fuck that guy...

Cuz I'm hanging with Chris and you're not!
 
*Devise isn't here because he slept through his alarm. Seriously fuck that guy...