JardyB10

This was amazing, you made the logo ranking idea way more entertaining than I ever could have expected, and managed to do so while giving more objective parameters. I’m on mobile right now but the formatting is top notch! My only critique is that you cheated and Miami was actually supposed to face Halifax in the semi-final according to your bracket. Not that I’m unhappy about a pirate v. boat final. I didn’t mean to grade this but I guess I pretty much did so I’ll take the TPE. 9/10 Would love to see you do the same thing for the VHL teams one day!

I wish I was a GM so I could blueball your final Sam role until I died.

There you go @Ahma!

I thought you worked a night shift?

Oh it’ll get through.

To be fair it is derived from the original Davos logo, which was stolen from something or another.

My Rookie Experience The Poopy Peepants Tale Golly gee gosh, the last couple years sure have been a whirlwind! One day I was just skating outside on the pond, unwinding after a stressful day at work, then before I knew it VHL great Jardy Bunclewirth was grabbing me, throwing me into his van, and driving me to Houston, Texas to train for the most prestigious hockey league in the world. After a Summer of hard training, I was off to Miami to play a full season with the Marauders in the VHLM. I didn't think I had that great of a season, and it seemed like a lot of media agreed. Needless to say, I was shocked at the S79 VHL Entry Draft when the Davos Dynamo selected me 4th overall, and even more so when Mr. Mattias called and said I was to come up and play in the VHL right away. I only started playing competitive hockey the day Mr. Bunclewirth kidnapped me, so I was more than afraid that I wasn't going to be able to perform to expectations. As it turns out, my worst fears were to come true. In order to make up for my lack of experience on the ice, I was always taught to move the puck to better players, and to do everything I possibly can to get the puck away from the opposition. While I never perfected it, I got the hang of this style of play in the VHLM, and thought I could translate at least some of that success to the VHL. For a brief, beautiful moment, everything almost seemed like it was going to work out. In the first period of my first game in the VHL, I was put on the powerplay with the best players on the Dynamo. Reylynn Reinhart went point-to-point with me, and I found Taro Tsujimoto in front of the net. He slipped the puck past Grekkark Gyrfalcon, and just like that, I had my first point in the VHL! I managed to assist on another goal that game too, and it was the most exhilarating day of my life. Little did I know that that one game was going to account for over 10% of my offensive production this season. For the rest of the year, things just didn't go my way. I would try to move the puck to my teammates, but as often as not it would end up in the other team's possession. I did everything I could to get the puck away from them, but it seems like everyone in this league is too fast and too slippery, and they would just skate right past me and score. I would get frustrated and take stupid penalties, and as a result I found myself riding the bench more than any other player on the team (except those creepy DAV brothers with their lifeless eyes and 100-yard stares...they're almost robotic...). I can't complain too much though. While I didn't perform all that well personally, as a team we managed to make playoffs for the first time since S73. We defeated the Prague Phantoms in the wildcard round, but ultimately lost to the powerhouse Malmo Nighthawks in six very close games. We've got a strong core intact for next season, and a bunch of younger guys like myself who will continue to improve over the off-season. Even through all the bad, my first season in the VHL has been a great experience. I'm going to try not get too down on myself, and do what I can to make Jardy and everyone else proud. Maybe that way he'll stop hitting me... - Poopy Peepants

Great work Miami, from wild card to the finals! You’re lucky Peepants isn’t there to bring the team down

Except Davos! You’re lucky Ahma already ordered a jersey from the last store, smh

Odinsson completing the hat trick/scoring the game winner with less than two minutes in the game is some epic shit.

No we’d just give it to someone with a good all-around performance/PIM ratio, which frankly would almost always just be Points and maybe SB, given the correlation between Hits and PIMs. This isn’t intended to be a checking award at all, as that’s more or less what the Boulet Trophy already is. Ideally this is “MVP who didn’t take penalties.”

JUST YOU WAIT! I’ll do a Hardcore VHL History one of these days, and my voice will be A+ wise. (no I won’t that’s too much research and I don’t remember things good)

#drama

Also I was certain my suggestion to quit tier listing was going straight to Grapefruit so respect for putting it in C.

I wanted to go for a Tony Robbins voice, realized I couldn’t, so ended up doing a Tony Robbins-Dan Carlin lung cancer love child.

I got my chemical engineering degree some years ago, then pivoted to where the jobs were and now I’m an engineer-in-training/indentured servant for the highways department of a consulting firm.

Sleepy reacted because you told me not to.

For those of you who are n00bz or otherwise unfamiliar, the Mikka Virkkunen Trophy was an award given to the league’s “most sportsmanlike player,” which is to say, it was typically given to players who performed well while keeping their PIMs low. The award was always pretty controversial. As you may or may not know, STHS is a fickle mistress, so it was pretty random which players weren’t going to take penalties in a given season. Furthermore, people felt it would make more sense to make it more of a member award instead of this random PIM award. Presumably for these reasons, the award was retired THE MINUTE I LEFT THE WEBSITE, WOW. Anyway, since my return, I’ve noticed the following things: - We now have a member award for toppest dog in the form of the Elmebeck Trophy - There is a fairly strong anti-PIM attitude within the league. So much so that several members hate Checking as a stat because it correlates with PIMs, so much so that I’ve seen calls to retire or at least rework the Boulet Trophy. (I personally feel retiring the Boulet Trophy because Checking = PIMs is fucking stupid, but that’s neither here nor there) - This isn’t anything especially new, but there’s been complaints about lack of player build variety and useful attributes to update Therefore, I propose we re-instate the MV Trophy. PIMs are indeed quite bad, so why not award players who don’t take them (instead of REMOVING otherwise legitimate defensive awards like Boulet and Wylde)? It might encourage non-checking players to invest at least SOME points into Discipline. It worked for The Terrible Trivium this season. Sure, the winner of this award will be whomever Simon favours, but guess what? THAT’S LITERALLY EVERY AWARD! Why did Toronto do so poorly before the Trade Deadline? Why did New York miss playoffs below Vancouver? How did Gunnar Odinsson get 40 more points than his teammate Muffbeav? Why did Odinsson get 40 more points than literally any other 800-900 TPA player? All awards have some unknown level of randomness to it, but it is what it is, so I don’t know why we’d draw the line at PIMs. If the concern is that it will simply just go to the non-checking MVP candidates every season, we can give the Virkkunen Trophy stricter parameters. Maybe you need fewer than 10-25 PIMs to even be eligible to win it. #BringBackMikka #JusticeForTrivium

I definitely won’t stop driving any time soon . Poopy was bad this season, he’ll be slightly less bad next season, but still pretty bad. Won’t be scoring or shooting much any time soon, haha

Poopy is the only player who got a point every game in the tournament :’)

Oh it did, also I had to pause the recording every couple minutes so I could have a coughing fit

1. I’m pretty jazzed! I’m excited for a preview of how the actual VHLE season is going to pan out, and it’s even better that I get my only chance in a year to participate in it. 2. The VHLE is intended to be the end of the developmental period, but it would be good to see SOME developmental steps before the VHL. 3. I have a brother in Singapore, so I’d like to go visit him, maybe check out other places in SE Asia 5. Honestly the rosters were built to be quite even, and I feel that they are. Any separation that’s been occurring has been a surprise to me. 7. Oh I don’t really know. Just engagement. Get to know the players as real people, take an interest in their real lives, and get them hyped for their make believe ones. 9. Definitely Allen, he’s been unreal so far.

I definitely intended to at some point. I meant to make a point about being an egotistical post whore, but it got lost in the driving improv. You get the honorary tag due to status and popularity!

I blame @Molholt. Was a close series, wish we could have seen it go to 7