twists

@STZ you are a good GM

1. It's awesome, we're gonna take 1st baby! 2. Be aggressive. They aren't going to make many mistakes so we need to get out there and score early 3. Ice bath + coffee. Peak morning 4. We passed out candy to tons of kids. We needed to buy more candy lol 5. My gf and I got left and right crocs costumes this year lol 6. PUMPKIN PIE IT IS THE SUPERIOR PIE

Can't wait to write the lore on my favorite banned members

When is the VHL? We talk a lot about this league. We talk about its players, the teams, even what season we are currently in. However, we have never talked about when the VHL takes place. While the VHL solely exists to be the NHL in a parallel universe, I'm beginning to wonder when it takes place. In the parallel universe that the VHL is the #1 global hockey league where are we in time? Is it the 1800s? Has Christ been born yet? Maybe we're far in the future and we no longer procreate. We just generate new lives based off of a button called "create a player". Maybe the VHL exists in a time vacuum where no matter how long the players play, no one ages. This then forces players to retire after X number of seasons...wait a minute. It's all starting to come together. Maybe the rules we have created for the VHL are actually the rules of space and time in this parallel universe. Do our players die after retirement? Are they re-incarnated as a users next player? I don't have the answers, but its something we all need to take a deep look at.

Warsaw Predators Press Conference Week Ending October 20th Answer 3 for 1 TPE, all 6 for 2 TPE. 1. We did something! A trade was made, how are you feeling about it? 2. Did @Spartan retire his player too early? It looks like Syko could put up an MVP performance. 3. Do you have a pre-game routine you always follow? 4. What are your plans for Halloween? 5. Which Halloween/Fall/Thanksgiving dessert is your favorite? 6. Should the VHL do anything fun for Halloween?

YNFR's Pregame Routine As we all know YNFR lives a crazy double life of playing for the Philadelphia Reapers and acting as the assistant general manager for the Warsaw Predators. He flies twice every day so he can be in person for all of his teams’ games. As you can guess, he has some very strange pregame routines. Every meal before a game YNFR must always eat Olive Garden chicken Alfredo. Inquiring minds wanted to know why, so we asked and he responded with, “Well, it’s certainly not Italian food, but it’s god damn good. Plus, it carb loads me while also getting some protein in”. Who could argue with that logic? After his pregame meal, YNFR must play at least an hour of video games. We asked if he played NHL or another sports game. Nope, he very clearly stated it must be TCG Card Shop Simulator. His reasoning is that he dopamine loads before a hockey game in order to gain a competitive edge over his opponents. We’re pretty sure it doesn’t work that way, but who’s to argue with the winner of three awards in the VHLM last season? After his minimum hour of video games, he does 100 push ups completely naked. He says this helps him get in tune with his primal side before a game. This at least partially makes sense as he has been known to strip down to only his jock strap before getting into hockey fights. Finally, after his 100 pushups, he heads to the rink. Once YNFR has arrived at the rink, things only get weirder. Like clockwork, he shows up to @mattyIceman's office and gives him a bear hug. He then smacks his ass while saying "Get going old man", and skips out of his office. No one has been able to determine the meaning of these events, but he does it every game without fail. After making his way to the locker room, YNFR whips out his Nintendo DS to get some Nintendogs in. He has been caring for a loving Siberian Husky since he was 12 years old. He feeds him, plays with him, and gives him treats, then starts getting dressed for the game. While getting dressed YNFR attempts to curse the other team's top player. He says they're so good four times, then mentioned they will boom him. Once dressed YNFR heads to the ice. He skates exactly four times around the rink then gets into his stretches. He groans very similar to the way tennis players moan while doing each one of his stretches. He then gets up and proceeds to take exactly 69 shots on goal. When asked why he responded, "HAHA FUNNI NUMBER". He does a quick interview with a reporter stating, "I'm only here so I don't get fined" to every question, throws a Taco Bell burrito into the stands for one lucky fan, and skates back to his bench. Finally, as the warm-up period winds down, he skates over to his opponent's bench, squirts their coach with a water bottle, then runs away to the opening faceoff.

Being a GM player is hard I'm currently writing this on my 14th flight of the week, headed back to Warsaw. As a player in the VHLM for the Philadelphia Reapers, and an assistant GM in the European conference, I travel a lot. Sometimes I wonder why I couldn't have ended up the AGM for a team closer in proximity to Philly, but then I remember the amazing opportunity @N0HBDY has provided me. Is it easy? Absolutely not. I play two games a day, then fly back to Poland immediately after to help N0h with the predators. Luckily the time difference just barely allows me to pull off this crazy career I have. I often arrive in Warsaw completely drained and begging for sleep, but N0h does not allow me to sleep on the job. A couple of times I have fallen asleep in the owner's box only to be awoken by N0h yelling at me to do more press conferences. Is this life glamorous? I wouldn't say so. However, if you asked me if it was rewarding, I would say not. Please help me. I'm begging you.

Cringe

Warsaw Predators Press Conference Week Ending October 20th Answer 3 for 1 TPE, all 6 for 2 TPE. 1. There's rumors that Warsaw is tanking this year. Should we call in @Beketov to investigate? 2. Do you think Syko will keep up his impressive performances in net? 3. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 4. Its fall time, which is my favorite season of the year. What's yours? 5. If we lost every single game other than every time we played Moscow would you consider that a winning season? 6. Should the VHL allow AI for point tasks?

you always get fucked

Transaction Id: 6V575766NB8609113 Free Week (12 TPE Capped) 5 TPE Uncapped Doubles Week

Warsaw Predators Press Conference Week Ending October 20th Answer 3 for 1 TPE, all 6 for 2 TPE. 1. The season starts today! What are your goals for this year? 2. @N0HBDY has still failed to win a playoff series. Do you think that will change this year? 3. Do you like the name predators? It seems a little sus to me. 4. What player has your favorite name in the league? 5. What is your favorite snack? 6. If your player were to get drafted in the NHL what team do you think would have taken them?

What can I say? They're good haha

The VHL Should Get Sponsors I think it would be both hilarious and potentially lucrative for the VHL to get sponsors. Imagine if the sim results tonight were brought to you by Wendy's (buy the biggie bag). Or if this post was sponsored by Duluth Trading Co. Make sure to buy your underwear from them! I'm guessing this is near impossible, but if it isn't, the possibilities are limitless. Maybe our trades could be brought to you by Adam and Eve since one team probably just got fucked. Spoiler alert, the GM that got fucked was @Mysterious_Fish. Vetting the sponsors to be actually interesting/funny corporations would be a must. No one wants the latest sims sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends. It would bring the VHL some revenue, we may or may not need it, but I can't imagine the league gets worse with more money. Ironically, we could use the funds from our sponsors to advertise the league and get some new recruits. Ads feed more ads it would seem. Just a fun hypothetical!

Didnt reach out on discord

This is a message from YNFR This is a message from Youre Not Fucking Retiring. All you VHL GM's who let me slip all the way down to the second round done goofed. I had not gone Inactive, nor had I stopped earning. I did forget to do a PT/Welfare for two weeks, but that's because I'm an idiot who kept thinking he's going to do a PT, and when it got too late forgot to click the welfare button. You let 11 people with less TPE than me get drafted first. DC, lead by @qripll, is looking like a genius because they got a lottery pick in the second round. Literally none of you reached out to me on discord. I often times forget to check the forums, so discord is the easiest way to reach me. You all really let two recreates fall to the second round just for DC to scoop us up and dominate the league. GG get rekt nubs. That is all.

Warsaw Predators Press Conference Week Ending October 13th Answer 3 for 1 TPE, all 6 for 2 TPE. 1. I'm back as your favorite presser slave AGM, how does that make you feel? 2. @Spartan has recently joined the locker room. Do you think that will have a positive or negative impact? 3. Last year was we lost in the first round of the playoffs, do you think we can achieve more this season? 4. Have you ever eaten a cronut? 5. I recently retired from GMing as its just not for me, would you ever be interested? 6. How do you think Warsaw did in the draft?

Woo taking home 3 trophies! I'll take it. Was a great season with @mattyIceman and @Pifferfish as my GM/AGM

Teams are so going to regret letting me fall. DC got a steal I just forgot to do a PT for like two weeks lol

I just haven’t assigned my TPE yet damnnn. I figured there no rush until the season starts

Can we just train a closed AI model on the vhlforum and see what it comes up with? It can make its own player, and write its own articles lmao

Hey I'll take 3

I apply, plus i know i have @N0HBDY's support