Doomsday

Because you're lying?

NYA G or not, nice win against a great team! Well done boys!

Outstanding work, gentlemen!

KIMMO, KIMMO, KIMMO!

Excelsior!

That's the price you pay actin' like a fool on the ice.

Landry Feels Good TURKU - Although the year hasn't exactly been a good one for the Turku Outlaws, Assistant General Manager and Head Coach Thomas Landry isn't feeling terribly bothered by it. "It's not all bad," said the former HC Davos Dynamo standout following an 8-2 loss to the Brampton Blades. "You don't want to lose, especially not like tonight, but sometimes those are just the cards you're dealt. This wasn't a season we were really meant to compete, at least not seriously, but the boys are still out there fighting every game. I can't ask for much more than their best." On the other hand, this season has given something Landry has not really had for nearly a decade: a year mostly free from stress. "It's great to be able to really step back and not get too wound up about things," continued Landry. "Whether it was over keeping the boys focused, being prepared for the next game or coming through in the playoffs, none of those pressures are really there this year. It's a little weird, definitely not something I'm used to, nor will I get used to it. Another season's not too far off and we've got to be ready for that one too." Jethro Novacek is a contributor to the MSFL Times, still doing the Ty Summers to this day. He enjoys not breaking his cell phone, the feeling of clothing straight out of the dryer and Rita's Italian Ice.

Finally, the first fight!

Begging your pardon, but just because my group title doesn't say "GM," it doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm currently serving as a VHLM Co-GM and I submit the lines for the team. In the event you don't find the VHLM acceptable, there was a period during my time in Davos in which I submitted our lines. I never had a problem getting the goalie or lines I wanted because I took every measure I could to ensure it was done. I did not bank on Jardy assuming on what I wanted and as a result, I never had to throw a tantrum over it.

Wait, you didn't send in lines putting your starter back in? Your argument is invalid. It is YOUR job to set your line-ups, not the simmers. You cannot put it on them to guess what you want. If you want different starters, send in lines with your starters. Until you do that, kindly shut the fuck up and stop wasting our time.

I have no idea what the hell the Cowboys are doing anymore.

Niiiiice.

Sad day to see your favorite player retire. Hell of a career, can't wait to see how you carry on the legacy!

VHL To Begin Testing For PEDs? Pic unrelated NEW YORK - Performance-enhancing drugs have been a troubling issue in the world of sports lately. In the world of simulation hockey, few felt that it would ever be a problematic issue in the Victory Hockey League. However, in a stunning, random decision out of seemingly nowhere, VHL Commissioner Mitch Higgins announced that the league will begin testing players for performance-enhancing drugs as of today. "There have been far too many examples of players suddenly becoming world class players," stated Higgins. "As much as we'd love to believe that it's a feel-good story, those only happen on the Lifetime Channel. Substance abuse is becoming a real issue when people like Logan Laich can suddenly become known for things other than being an embarassment." In unrelated news, Calgary forward Robert Gow III is expected to announce his retirement later today. Jethro Novacek is a contributor to the MSFL Times, the worldwide leader in walks on the beach. He enjoys praising Steve Mason, getting over illnesses and kicking DeMarco Murray in the dick.

... what?

Better call the police and a fireman.

Boy, that really escalated quickly.

You're just jealous you don't have me on your squad.

Eh, I'd take this Fury instead...