Phil

1. We’re 24 points ahead of Houston, the 9th place and first team out of the playoff hunt as of this writing. With what looks like a smoother ride to make the playoff we can begin to experiment a bit to gear up for a postseason run. What line pairs would you like to see in these last few weeks of the season? Who would you like to play with on a line? We're on a seven game winning streak! This is incredible. I say don't touch a thing and ride this pony to win city, bitch! 2. We’ve been struggling against teams higher in the league like Saskatoon, Philadelphia, and of course Mexico City. What do you think the strategy could be to make us more competitive with the top teams in the league? Let Johnson at them and have them scared to step out onto the ice. I know he hasn't been hitting as promised but that's just because he only has to glare at a player before they lose the puck. I don't get the credit for the turnover but we all know why they suddenly turn it over... 3. Assuming the standings remain relatively the same, how comfortable are you with a first-round matchup with Miami? We got this. I think we are improving at the quickest rate in the league and with the VHL SANTA running around I think that will only play to our advantage. The most active get rewarded the most. As a team we shouldn't struggle against the likes of Miami, but if we keep this up we'll be facing an even weaker opponent. 4. A lot of interesting builds in the VHLM. What do you feel the most underrated stat is in a player’s build and why? It's two-fold, and it's league-wide. HITS vs. HIT TAKEN. a successful HIT results in the chance of a takeaway, a HIT TAKEN results in the chance of a giveaway. When teams and players look at the boulet they only look at points and hits. I was outraged and still am that some of my players have had the BIGGEST HITS: HITS TAKEN ratios in the history of the league and it's been overlooked. PLease don't make be rant on. 5. Your teammate Kaberle has been on fire with a mountain of content the last few weeks. Do you feel he should dial it back a bit to avoid burning himself out or is the strategy of full investment worth it in the long haul? [@fromtheinside] go ahead and comment on what the idea behind the mass of content is and how you’re managing it. @fromtheinsideas long as you know your own limits, keep this shit up! Back in my hayday I invest so many hours per week in the league and all because I enjoyed doing it immensely. I never had burnout.. just loss of interest after 40 seasons. But I'm back and let's try to keep you invested! 6. Who is our lockeroom MVP for the midway point of the regular season? Me... lol no. Probably Prout. @Prout He's a beast, a great guy, and a good time. But in the cheesy-ness of this colour, every single one of us are essential to the dynamic in the LR. We all are components of this well oiled machine and without one of us, we wouldn't be the same.

Rock Bottom #6 Welcome to the Jungle!! I'm your host, Phil Knight. Today we: - I FUCKED UP THE AUDIO FADE OUT AT THE BEGINNING - VHL SANTA'S COMING TO TOWN, BITCHES! @VHL Santa - VHL/M UPDATES - I WILL ACTUALLY BE A GOOD PICK @VHLGMs Enjoy this edition! KnightTime Podcast Questions Thread Songs: Mr. Winter - The Maine This is a division of KnightTime Radio. Run Time: 17.34 minutes

Need to get in on these tickets!

Jumamji Ambassador? @Ledge_and_Dairy

Transaction ID: 20455668230887745 Claimed This Week 5 TPE Uncapped Doubles Week $1M Player Store

$10 donation to FOOD BANKS CANADA through @sterling, the beautiful bastard Transaction ID: 20455663840512260 Thanks VHL Confirmed. -sterling P.S. not so bad, are you Phillip?

Merry happy everyone!!

Great thoughts!

Recreate soon!

1. We need to keep doing exactly what we are doing. We need to put in maximum practice hours each and every week. Every Practice hour counts in the VHLm, at least until 250... so it's imperative that we get to that threshold sooner rather than later 2. I think the more the depth players play, the more results you'll see. I would not say to change up the minutes, but rather, have the depth players not be too discouraged by their play now. Look to the future, baby. 3. London have had an easy schedule, so I think that train will slow a little. They are a talented group that indeed are gelling, but they should brace themselves for a couple of road blocks headed there way... especially since the eyes of the VHL community are now on them. 4. My weekend was the same and every other weekend, working, eating, watching tv and going to practice for the Marlins. I've been hitting the "gym" more and more since there's a lack of socializing to do, other than the other players on our great team. 5. Let's eat like fucking Kings. I will have the seafood platter. Lots of protein. 6. I think that's a great idea. It then will really feel like a complete weekend. As long as HBO continues to do the documentary on the teams, I don't mind. On the flip side, it's a nice way to start off the new year.

Rock Bottom #5 Welcome to the Jungle!! I'm your host, Phil Knight. Today we: - FESTIMAS, BITCH! - VHL/M UPDATES - GREEN'S WEDDING TALK @NotAVHLM-GM - STILL LONGER THAN 15 FUCKING MINUTES @DollarAndADream Enjoy this edition! KnightTime Podcast Questions Thread Songs: Forget December - Something Corporate This is a division of KnightTime Radio. Run Time: 18 minutes

Yeah.... and now I'm the Rock.

1. We're going into week two of the season with a pretty average record and some areas to work on. What is your thoughts on week one of the VHLM Season and what are you looking to improve on going forward? Too early to tell. We have SO MUCH potential on this team that time will tell but despite some close losses, I am not worried at all. We have a great balance of players and it's only going to get better 2. At this point of the season, are we above, below, or meeting your early expectations for this season? Explain. Meeting my expectation. We've got a lot of active people on the team so our results will just continue to get better. Sometimes you just gotta put your head down and grind out a couple of tough games. Stay focused and we'll get there. 3. We have one of the worst PKs in the league, what would be your strategy to turn around our shorthanded unit? Play the Rock more on the special teams. We don't have enough physicality on the ice when we are up so the opponents are beating us off the puck. It's an easy fix and I'm sure we'll get it sorted out. 4. It's American Thanksgiving on Thursday, what are you most thankful for in the VHL? I'm most thankful for the hundreds of thousands of hours that commissioners, Admins and GMs have put into the VHL. This is a great corner of the internet and we'll need their continued support to keep it alive! 5. What is your favorite holiday food? Why? My Mother-in-law's cooking or baking. It doesn't matter. Any and everything she prepares is absolutely amazing. 6. If you could invite only one member of the team to your next holiday dinner, who would it be? I'd invite @BOOM™ but he'd have to buy his own plane ticket. I'll provide the amazing dinner and drinks. It would be a "blast" (boom pun trololol)

Rock Bottom #4 Welcome to the Jungle!! I'm your host, Phil Knight. Today we: - I FIXED THE FUCKING AUDIO PROBLEMS - SUNNY SAN DIEGO! -VHLM SPOTLIGHT ON @BOOM™ - LONGER THAN 15 FUCKING MINUTES @DollarAndADream Enjoy this edition! KnightTime Podcast Questions Thread Songs: Sometime Around Midnight - The Airbourne Toxic Event This is a division of KnightTime Radio. Run Time: 18 minutes

Ah my bad! The minimum time changed on me! Great song! Thanks mate. Just about to record another. I'll do better!

Wonderful! And you, good sir?

In true 90s fashion, the Rock was caught in the Marlins locker dancing to the Fatboy Slim classic The members of the team who witnessed the event seem to have been traumatized by the events that took place that fatefully night: @Tate tells VHL correspondents "It was... brutal. When the music slowed, he slowed. When the music jammed, he jammed. Just he massive body, overtaking everything in the locker room @kentakira informed us that "I think my ears are bleeding.. I think my eyes are bleeding" @Prout recounted "I just wanted to get changed in peace. I just wanted to go home." @fromtheinside proclaimed "it was like a moving mountain. It was like a dancing dinosaur" @Rayzor_7 couldn't speak. He just looked off at a spot on the wall no one saw, a glazed look of a fine layer of icing caked his eyes. @Strider just told us that he was glad that he was off sick that day and could imagine the terror of it all. @DangerGoldingreported that he may have been responsible. The Rock had looked down so he had told him to cheer up and dance the dance of life. That's not the life he would have gone for though. Overall, many of the team members seemed to have been stunned to silence. This Grooving Giant may be great at stunning his teammates, but will he manage to stun his opponents? Oh, and one more thing, @BOOM™ could not stop laughing when reporters asked him about the incident, all he splutter out was: "and he was fucking naked!!"

1. The VHLM Regular Season begins this week, how excited are you to get back on the ice following this 140-year long off season? It's a first for the ROCK. It didn't seem too long because I was so focused on the excitement of getting the Rock off to a good start. Second sim day and I hit 6 people in the game today. That's what I'm talking about. Tomorrow I'll record my first point - just watch @InstantRockstar! 2. Some big changes to the VHLM and the league as a whole this season, how do you feel about the changes to the inactivity policy and the VHLM Juniors? I actually haven't read it... one second let me do that. The inactivity policy seems fair. I would still consider myself semi-active with Marleau towards the end of his career where I was checking the sims every third day and claiming welfare and PF each week. It's not super active but it's still something! 3. Who on the team aside from yourself are you most interested in seeing their development on the ice this season? I'm most interested in seeing how @Jonessee27's player will develop. I know we'll have amazingness from @Rayzor_7, @Tate, @BOOM™ @fromtheinside and more but I want to hold Nero in the spotlight to really showcase his talent. I think he'll be a great forward! 4. IR is covering the bill for catering for our first home game of the season , what do you want included? Aspargus and Salmon and wild rice Bodybuilder's meatloaf Roasted Ham A fuck ton of tequila. I'm a massive dude and need my calories. 5. To get into the team spirit of the city, tell me one fact about San Diego? It means a Whale's Vagina. 6. Who wins the Continental Cup in the VHL this season? Don't ask me.. but possibly Seattle? They're looking fine.

FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY

A Rock Solid Junior Review There’s not much to say on Phil “The Rock” Johnson’s career to this point. He lets his body do the talking more often than not. However, we at VhlMedia.com want to still take a quick look at Johnson’s route to the VHL to reinforce what we already know about this massive specimen of a man. Being from the United Kingdom, you would expect a kid of Johnson’s size to play Rugby… and he did. From the young age of 6 he was playing rugby and used his speed and size to fly down the wings, just demolishing any attempts to block his path. “It was not a challenge”, Phil Knight, his player agent told us. “He’s the type of person that needs to continuously be challenged, and rugby never did that for him.” “I first watched hockey on the television", Johnson recounts. I cannot remember what playoff series, but it was definitely a VHL match. I think it had Riga in it… and I thought to myself man… body checking on skates looks awesome, but hard to do. So the next day, I got my parents to register me for Ice Hockey." Skating at first was his big challenge. Usually that is not surprising. What is surprising is the style of skating he has developed. Slamming into people as his primary focus means that he really does not need to worry about stopping too much. “Slam on the brakes” would only apply to him if there was an opponent called “Onthebrakes”. He managed to get into a youth squad called the Liverpool Lasers. He found himself quickly on the top line, as an enforcer. Johnson could shoot pretty well, but he ultimately liked to pass sooner rather than later to ensure that IF there was a turnover, he could lay out the opponent and get the puck back as quickly as possible. His first season in the highest tier of youth hockey in the country looked like this: Games Played: 50 Goals: 10 Assists: 68 Points: 78 Hits: 249 Takeaways: 210 In his next season, he worked on his reaction time. The main focus was that if he was too far away to hit, he would be able to still poke the puck away from the opponent. Johnson grew 4 inches over the summer and was over 6 feet before he was 17. He also started working out, turning that puppy fat into rock hard muscle. His stats improved and the team dominated to a championship. Games Played: 50 Goals: 15 Assists: 84 Points: 99 Hits: 321 Takeaways: 354 The ridiculous stats could not be ignored any longer, and Johnson received a call from Phil Knight, who offered him a deal to sign with him and bring his talents abroad. It was at that point Johnson decided to hit the gym twice as hard, and crash the boards of the VHL hockey world. He was picked in the 5th round by San Diego Marlins, and is just starting his first stint in the highest level of hockey on the planet. His one goal was and always as been: To be the best auxiliary player in the history of sport.

Rock Bottom #3 Welcome to the Jungle!! I'm your host, Phil Knight. Today we: - SEASON FUCKING STARTS - TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING VHL - EXPLAIN WHY I'M NOT GONNA SMACK A BITCH ALL THE TIME Enjoy this edition! KnightTime Podcast Questions Thread Songs: Audio Problems - No one. This is a division of KnightTime Radio. Run Time: 12.5 minutes

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