Phil

1. We need to keep doing exactly what we are doing. We need to put in maximum practice hours each and every week. Every Practice hour counts in the VHLm, at least until 250... so it's imperative that we get to that threshold sooner rather than later 2. I think the more the depth players play, the more results you'll see. I would not say to change up the minutes, but rather, have the depth players not be too discouraged by their play now. Look to the future, baby. 3. London have had an easy schedule, so I think that train will slow a little. They are a talented group that indeed are gelling, but they should brace themselves for a couple of road blocks headed there way... especially since the eyes of the VHL community are now on them. 4. My weekend was the same and every other weekend, working, eating, watching tv and going to practice for the Marlins. I've been hitting the "gym" more and more since there's a lack of socializing to do, other than the other players on our great team. 5. Let's eat like fucking Kings. I will have the seafood platter. Lots of protein. 6. I think that's a great idea. It then will really feel like a complete weekend. As long as HBO continues to do the documentary on the teams, I don't mind. On the flip side, it's a nice way to start off the new year.

Rock Bottom #5 Welcome to the Jungle!! I'm your host, Phil Knight. Today we: - FESTIMAS, BITCH! - VHL/M UPDATES - GREEN'S WEDDING TALK @NotAVHLM-GM - STILL LONGER THAN 15 FUCKING MINUTES @DollarAndADream Enjoy this edition! KnightTime Podcast Questions Thread Songs: Forget December - Something Corporate This is a division of KnightTime Radio. Run Time: 18 minutes

Yeah.... and now I'm the Rock.

1. We're going into week two of the season with a pretty average record and some areas to work on. What is your thoughts on week one of the VHLM Season and what are you looking to improve on going forward? Too early to tell. We have SO MUCH potential on this team that time will tell but despite some close losses, I am not worried at all. We have a great balance of players and it's only going to get better 2. At this point of the season, are we above, below, or meeting your early expectations for this season? Explain. Meeting my expectation. We've got a lot of active people on the team so our results will just continue to get better. Sometimes you just gotta put your head down and grind out a couple of tough games. Stay focused and we'll get there. 3. We have one of the worst PKs in the league, what would be your strategy to turn around our shorthanded unit? Play the Rock more on the special teams. We don't have enough physicality on the ice when we are up so the opponents are beating us off the puck. It's an easy fix and I'm sure we'll get it sorted out. 4. It's American Thanksgiving on Thursday, what are you most thankful for in the VHL? I'm most thankful for the hundreds of thousands of hours that commissioners, Admins and GMs have put into the VHL. This is a great corner of the internet and we'll need their continued support to keep it alive! 5. What is your favorite holiday food? Why? My Mother-in-law's cooking or baking. It doesn't matter. Any and everything she prepares is absolutely amazing. 6. If you could invite only one member of the team to your next holiday dinner, who would it be? I'd invite @BOOM™ but he'd have to buy his own plane ticket. I'll provide the amazing dinner and drinks. It would be a "blast" (boom pun trololol)

Rock Bottom #4 Welcome to the Jungle!! I'm your host, Phil Knight. Today we: - I FIXED THE FUCKING AUDIO PROBLEMS - SUNNY SAN DIEGO! -VHLM SPOTLIGHT ON @BOOM™ - LONGER THAN 15 FUCKING MINUTES @DollarAndADream Enjoy this edition! KnightTime Podcast Questions Thread Songs: Sometime Around Midnight - The Airbourne Toxic Event This is a division of KnightTime Radio. Run Time: 18 minutes

Ah my bad! The minimum time changed on me! Great song! Thanks mate. Just about to record another. I'll do better!

Wonderful! And you, good sir?

In true 90s fashion, the Rock was caught in the Marlins locker dancing to the Fatboy Slim classic The members of the team who witnessed the event seem to have been traumatized by the events that took place that fatefully night: @Tate tells VHL correspondents "It was... brutal. When the music slowed, he slowed. When the music jammed, he jammed. Just he massive body, overtaking everything in the locker room @kentakira informed us that "I think my ears are bleeding.. I think my eyes are bleeding" @Prout recounted "I just wanted to get changed in peace. I just wanted to go home." @fromtheinside proclaimed "it was like a moving mountain. It was like a dancing dinosaur" @Rayzor_7 couldn't speak. He just looked off at a spot on the wall no one saw, a glazed look of a fine layer of icing caked his eyes. @Strider just told us that he was glad that he was off sick that day and could imagine the terror of it all. @DangerGoldingreported that he may have been responsible. The Rock had looked down so he had told him to cheer up and dance the dance of life. That's not the life he would have gone for though. Overall, many of the team members seemed to have been stunned to silence. This Grooving Giant may be great at stunning his teammates, but will he manage to stun his opponents? Oh, and one more thing, @BOOM™ could not stop laughing when reporters asked him about the incident, all he splutter out was: "and he was fucking naked!!"

1. The VHLM Regular Season begins this week, how excited are you to get back on the ice following this 140-year long off season? It's a first for the ROCK. It didn't seem too long because I was so focused on the excitement of getting the Rock off to a good start. Second sim day and I hit 6 people in the game today. That's what I'm talking about. Tomorrow I'll record my first point - just watch @InstantRockstar! 2. Some big changes to the VHLM and the league as a whole this season, how do you feel about the changes to the inactivity policy and the VHLM Juniors? I actually haven't read it... one second let me do that. The inactivity policy seems fair. I would still consider myself semi-active with Marleau towards the end of his career where I was checking the sims every third day and claiming welfare and PF each week. It's not super active but it's still something! 3. Who on the team aside from yourself are you most interested in seeing their development on the ice this season? I'm most interested in seeing how @Jonessee27's player will develop. I know we'll have amazingness from @Rayzor_7, @Tate, @BOOM™ @fromtheinside and more but I want to hold Nero in the spotlight to really showcase his talent. I think he'll be a great forward! 4. IR is covering the bill for catering for our first home game of the season , what do you want included? Aspargus and Salmon and wild rice Bodybuilder's meatloaf Roasted Ham A fuck ton of tequila. I'm a massive dude and need my calories. 5. To get into the team spirit of the city, tell me one fact about San Diego? It means a Whale's Vagina. 6. Who wins the Continental Cup in the VHL this season? Don't ask me.. but possibly Seattle? They're looking fine.

FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY

A Rock Solid Junior Review There’s not much to say on Phil “The Rock” Johnson’s career to this point. He lets his body do the talking more often than not. However, we at VhlMedia.com want to still take a quick look at Johnson’s route to the VHL to reinforce what we already know about this massive specimen of a man. Being from the United Kingdom, you would expect a kid of Johnson’s size to play Rugby… and he did. From the young age of 6 he was playing rugby and used his speed and size to fly down the wings, just demolishing any attempts to block his path. “It was not a challenge”, Phil Knight, his player agent told us. “He’s the type of person that needs to continuously be challenged, and rugby never did that for him.” “I first watched hockey on the television", Johnson recounts. I cannot remember what playoff series, but it was definitely a VHL match. I think it had Riga in it… and I thought to myself man… body checking on skates looks awesome, but hard to do. So the next day, I got my parents to register me for Ice Hockey." Skating at first was his big challenge. Usually that is not surprising. What is surprising is the style of skating he has developed. Slamming into people as his primary focus means that he really does not need to worry about stopping too much. “Slam on the brakes” would only apply to him if there was an opponent called “Onthebrakes”. He managed to get into a youth squad called the Liverpool Lasers. He found himself quickly on the top line, as an enforcer. Johnson could shoot pretty well, but he ultimately liked to pass sooner rather than later to ensure that IF there was a turnover, he could lay out the opponent and get the puck back as quickly as possible. His first season in the highest tier of youth hockey in the country looked like this: Games Played: 50 Goals: 10 Assists: 68 Points: 78 Hits: 249 Takeaways: 210 In his next season, he worked on his reaction time. The main focus was that if he was too far away to hit, he would be able to still poke the puck away from the opponent. Johnson grew 4 inches over the summer and was over 6 feet before he was 17. He also started working out, turning that puppy fat into rock hard muscle. His stats improved and the team dominated to a championship. Games Played: 50 Goals: 15 Assists: 84 Points: 99 Hits: 321 Takeaways: 354 The ridiculous stats could not be ignored any longer, and Johnson received a call from Phil Knight, who offered him a deal to sign with him and bring his talents abroad. It was at that point Johnson decided to hit the gym twice as hard, and crash the boards of the VHL hockey world. He was picked in the 5th round by San Diego Marlins, and is just starting his first stint in the highest level of hockey on the planet. His one goal was and always as been: To be the best auxiliary player in the history of sport.

Rock Bottom #3 Welcome to the Jungle!! I'm your host, Phil Knight. Today we: - SEASON FUCKING STARTS - TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING VHL - EXPLAIN WHY I'M NOT GONNA SMACK A BITCH ALL THE TIME Enjoy this edition! KnightTime Podcast Questions Thread Songs: Audio Problems - No one. This is a division of KnightTime Radio. Run Time: 12.5 minutes

Zero. Get Zero

1. With the craziness of the draft now behind us, what did you take away from the VHL & VHLM drafts? How were they similar? How were they different? They were similar because I missed both of them. Different because I'm only in one of them. Awesome because @InstantRockstar drafted both myself and @Tate again 2. While we’ll always expect the cliché answers on how satisfied you are with where you ended up, instead, are you at all surprised with where you went or how high/low you were selected? What do you personally think went into the decision to draft you where you were taken? I don't have any expectations about where I end up. Only who ends up on the ground at my feet - because it's them that you need to watch for. Make sure there's okay. Give 'em a bandaid cuz their fucking CUT. I'm just happy where I ended up. 3. Focusing now on this upcoming season, what are your expectations as a player statistically for season 75? I will be looking to hit over 250 hits. If I can get 50 assists or more in the process, that would be wicked. Mostly I'll be in the gym preparing for my VHL Career. Make sure you skate with your heads up lads! 4. How can you improve your player this season, and what will you be focusing on skill-wise first? Getting base 70s - but Checking, Strength, and Passing will be the first 70s. Then Defense and Skating. Don't steal my build - or do. It won't matter. I'm bigger than you. 5. As San Diego looks to makes the player/user experience better every season, I will be taking a focus on rebuilding the forum club room, including some forum exclusive stuff. What types of things would you like to see on the club forum lockeroom? Bring back all the things I used to bring into the lockerooms. I'd be happy to throw some ideas out to you my man @fromtheinside. There's a reason they stopped giving out the Top Leader Award. It was getting out of hand that I was winning it most of the time haha. 6. Let’s give a big congratulations to Cowboy Prout, our team Captain for the Marlins in season 75! Any words for our new lockeroom general? Less discord more forum. I can't handle all the notifications from discord haha. I am in too many channels... and not just in the VHL.

Rock Bottom #2 Welcome to the Jungle!! I'm your host, Phil Knight. Today we: - JOIN A VHLm TEAM - TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING WEATHER - EXPLAIN WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH THOSE BICEPS Enjoy this edition! KnightTime Podcast Questions Thread Songs: Ohio - Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness This is a division of KnightTime Radio. Run Time: 15 minutes

In what turned out to be an shockingly slippery situation, The Rock was selected 60th overall in the Season 75 VHLm Dispersal Draft. The Rock has always finished off his opponents before the 5 round, so it was quite a shock when the draft lasted that long. Now that he has his mind swimming towards San Diego, he will need to regroup, recalibrate, and prepare for reckoning. The Rock's agent, Phil Knight, is already well familiar with the young VHLm franchise. His previous player representative, Phil Marleau, started off his career in San Diego as well, and was more than happy to hear from the General Manager, @InstantRockstar Knight thinks it will be a happy reunion: "We've both been involved in the VHL for decades worth of seasons, and have always had a great relationship. Although The Rock is a little more voracious than my usual signings, I think this type of player will be a great addition to the Marlins. It's great to be back on the cost and I'm hoping that this will be the start of a fun year. One where we'll see the Rock's physicality on display." The Rock declined to comment, although that was probably our bad for trying to interupt his workout. Note to any reporters: if he's using the punching bag - stay the FUCK out of his way. We're excited to see what the Rock can produce on the ice!

BOO YA! LEGGO BOYS!!!

Well at least I ended my career with another 7 hits. gratz malmo my old team! Long may you bless the name Knighthawk. Fly my pretties

lol 3 goals in a minute is probably what we DONT want to give up

Oh my way to go Eagles!!