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Apparently we have coaches


Zero

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No, seriously. I was really bored just now and was looking through the league index page. As it turns out, there is an entire section filled with coaches, if they can even be called that, since they are all unemployed. What's even more interesting is that some of these coaches are former VHL players, such as the geriatric Marrko St. Urho who is 71 years old (which, when you assume that every VHL season is one calendar year for our players, isn't too far from being pretty accurate), and the clear-cut best coach of all-time, Terence Fong, who somehow makes $69 per year for 0 years. As an Asian man, I would expect Mr. Fong to be a little better at math, because $69 x 0 is still 0, you dingus.

 

There's Grimm Jonsson, who apparently hasn't aged at all at age 32. It's odd because he may have played at the same time as Marrko St. Urho, who's old enough to be his dad. What's even going on? Oh, and there's Sterling Labatte, who apparently followed up on a brilliant VHL career with a significantly less brilliant lobotomy, judging by his '1' ranking in every attribute. Like, my dog's amputated toe could be a better coach than him (coincidentally, the toe's in talks to coach the Helsinki Titans next season because nobody else is willing to do it).

 

Oh, and there's Nigel Niggerman from Nigeria. I don't think he was ever a VHL player, and I also doubt that this man is a real person, otherwise I'd love to see the etymology behind that last name - like how the Millers were actual millers back in the day - what is the history of House Niggerman? Funnily enough, my auto-correct keeps switching 'Niggerman' to 'Nigerian', which also strikes me as pretty racist in and of itself.

 

I could go on, but I won't. I was just bumfuck stunned that this existed.

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What happened to your dog that lead to amputation?

Cancerous tumour pretty much took it over. It was easier to amputate it than try and treat it. Didn't really affect him that much in his life once he was out of the hospital, though he did pass away a year or so later due to other issues.

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Cancerous tumour pretty much took it over. It was easier to amputate it than try and treat it. Didn't really affect him that much in his life once he was out of the hospital, though he did pass away a year or so later due to other issues.

Ah shit that sucks.

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Coaches also have ratings and have impact on games. Not in our sim since we turned them off, but in STHS in general. We should really think about utilizing them imo. 

could like buy ratings or something, or "Make a coach" after you retire i.e when Phil Hamilton retires he can become a coach 

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  • Head Moderator

Its really interesting that you note this because for a while, Coach Terence Fong was coaching Davos through the Kanou years :D I believe I had requested Jardy to name the Davos coach when I started Kanou there :)

 

I think we did like a test sim or something with coaches turned on and auto simmed a season too somewhere along the line because I wanted to see if people would be interested in creating "coaches" rather than players or as a side character.

 

On another note, HAI Zero, I missed your articles bru!

Edited by tfong
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I think we did like a test sim or something with coaches turned on and auto simmed a season too somewhere along the line because I wanted to see if people would be interested in creating "coaches" rather than players or as a side character.

 

Funny you say that, because that's what I was just about to say. I'd totally create a coach and update his stats post-Wingate, just for the novelty of it.

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Its really interesting that you note this because for a while, Coach Terence Fong was coaching Davos through the Kanou years :D I believe I had requested Jardy to name the Davos coach when I started Kanou there :)

 

I think we did like a test sim or something with coaches turned on and auto simmed a season too somewhere along the line because I wanted to see if people would be interested in creating "coaches" rather than players or as a side character.

 

On another note, HAI Zero, I missed your articles bru!

No, you became coach in the sim when I hired you to do lines in S35. :P
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