atw2592 286 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 1. Ottawa trades everyone. After a huge season 46 draft that saw the Lynx acquire numerous active pieces to their team, general manager Jardy has been in contact with multiple teams to discuss trades. Goaltender Atticus Von Braxton IV seems to be the most popular player coming up in trade talks. He currently has 53 TPE and one of the best trainers in the VHLM who will assure that his skills progress throughout the season. Highly coveted by Oslo, Moscow, and Brampton, Von Braxton will probably require a first round draft pick and another solid veteran goaltender in return. Not only could Von Braxton be on the move, but LeAndre St. Pierre and Jonathan Stark also might be in a different jersey soon. St. Pierre has an excellent relationship with the Oslo Storm and they are willing to give up draft picks to acquire him. On the other hand, Stark has a smaller price tag and could be moved for a single first round pick or multiple second round picks. Jardy has been known to make some ballsy/stupid decisions in his life, so we’ll see if any of these moves actually come to fruition. 2. Despite having a large “trading block,” Moscow pussies out and doesn’t make any moves. Currently, the Moscow Red Wolves are shopping some of their best players and looking for good offers in return. The only problem is that no one really knows what general manager Steven Stamkos wants for his top guys. Obviously some draft picks will need to be involved, but it seems like Stamkos is all talk and no action at this point. Will he grow a sack and be more precise about his offers? Or will he continue having a vagina and not responding to anyone’s attempts at contact? 3. Oslo goes the entire season without having an active player. This seems like a very possible rumor at this point. Oslo has been persistent that they want to acquire some activity for season 46, but it doesn’t look like they have the assets to make a move for one. They might have to just ride this season out as an above-average team who doesn’t have a realistic shot at making the finals or having a high draft pick. 4. LeAndre St. Pierre retires if he is not traded to the Storm. Continuing from the second rumor, Ottawa could be out of a high-level left winger if they don’t make a deal to send St. Pierre to Oslo. “I’ve been in the locker room for a week and Jardy has already made numerous jokes about penises” said St. Pierre in an interview last night. “Normally I wouldn’t be offended by penis jokes, but Jardy always looks me in the eyes and tells them with a straight face. It creeps me the fuck out.” This could be an issue going forward for the Ottawa organization. 5. Yukon draws a total of seven fans in the first game, forcing them to relocate. Last season was nothing short of an embarrassment for the Yukon Rush. As a result, Yukon currently has a total of two season-ticket holders and things aren’t going to improve anytime soon. With only five players on the roster for season 46, it would be easy to put those guys in a mini-van and send them to a different city who wants to watch them lose all year long. Rumors have linked the relocation of the Rush to Cleveland, Ohio. eaglesfan036 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Higgins 3,618 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 6. The season starting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesler 1,514 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 7. Bratislava is asking way too much for there players. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banackock 8,032 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 7. Bratislava is asking way too much for there players. 8. Lincoln doesn't get traded - not with Frank anyway. Sucks the season away. I was offered it. I didn't make the initial offer, budd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLastOlympian07 2,388 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 fuck that Oslo GM. scrub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglesfan036 4,598 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 9. Brovy still doesn't know the difference between there, their, and they're even though I have told him at least 3 times Molholt, Hybrid1486, Banackock and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle 667 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 wew lad what an article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 (edited) 10. Covington named the King of Canada, changes the name of Saskatoon to London then builds a castle... a sand castle that is Edited November 12, 2015 by KingRobbie atw2592 and Banackock 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond_ace 3,107 Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 9. Brovy still doesn't know the difference between there, their, and they're even though I have told him at least 3 times *pats you on the back consolingly - "there, their, they're"* eaglesfan036 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hybrid1486 577 Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) Content 3/3 Comedy aside, all of these points seem to be based in reality and are fairly well-explained. They were also about different teams, not just you and yours. Job well done. Grammar 2/2 I didn't catch anything in there. If anybody disagrees, they're showing some ineptitude in their analysis. Appearance 1/1 Total 6/6 Edited November 15, 2015 by Hybrid1486 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowboyinAmerica 2,880 Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 Claimed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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