ATTENTION ALL:
We here in Vancouver are seriously worried about the health and well-being of our General Manager Keaton Louth, otherwise known as Beaviss. Word on the street is that he is out camping, and has been from Friday and will be until Tuesday, but that doesn’t make for an interesting story, now, does it?
With an interesting choice, General Manager Beaviss left the lines and tactics to Denver Wolfe, an aptly-named defenseman on the Wolves, and not to his Assistant General Manager, Jagger Philliefan. Though an odd decision, the Vancouver locker room is so strong in team morale that they soldier on as a group, nay, as a team. However, rumors are circulating that such comments as “fuck beaviss tbh” and “tell beavis hes slacking” have been uttered in GM Louth’s absence.
Back to the main story… Beaviss has left to the wilderness with no contact to the outside world, worrying his team as to his safety and concerning some as to his communication skills. When reached for a comment, his AGM, who asked to remain anonymous and whose wish was not granted, said that Beaviss is the best GM in the VHL and that “Vancouver would be worse off with any other GM in the wold… except for @BladeMaiden. She’s a beast. And that Jagger Philliefan guy could probably step in decently. He would probably offer Denver Wolfe his AGM spot, right? I mean, just spitballing here.” Kind of awkward since we know Jagger was the one who gave us the quote...
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