BluObieZ

Nice game for me

Lol totally expected this. That is my comment. It's funny really because I have a long track record of being great in the LR. but hey everyone is intitled to their opinion. Be it heavily slanted one way out of personal hate or not. Just ask anyone who has been on the same team with me more then 50% would say I'm good in the LR that's my proof right there. End of story

INT-COURT ROOM-DAY A court room sits silent as they wait for something to happen the judge looks at the clock on the wall and signals a lawyer to approach the bench. The lawyer named Harvey Goldman is a cocky looking man is leaned back in his chair with his feet rested on the table in front of him. Harvey stands up and fixes his suit and approaches the bench Harvey What? Judge Warren Brown Don’t what me. Where is your client? Harvey shrugs his shoulders Harvey Fucked if I know but the defendant is not even here either Warren They do not have to be here. They are important people Harvey And my client isn’t? Warren Don’t waste the time of this court with this matter. Your client clearly does not care enough about it to show up Harvey Give him a few min or a few hours Warren motions the defendant’s lawyer up to the bench Warren Cooper, Harvey here is asking us to wait a little longer Cooper I am a busy man, my clients would like this thrown out Warren I am willing to grant that but we need to give his client a bit longer Cooper shrugs Cooper I’ll give him thirty minutes Warren looks at Harvey Warren Thirty minutes not a second more. Go find your client Harvey turns and walks back to his table. He picks up his cellphone and texts someone “31 minutes” As Harvey sits down in his chair he looks up at Warren. Harvey I know exactly where my client is Thirty minute pass and Harvey’s client does not show up. Warren picks up his gavel out of frustration but as he is about to slam it down Harvey stops him Harvey I wouldn’t do that if I were you Warren gets angry Warren Oh yeah? Why is that? You asked for 30 minutes and I gave it to you. Now you ask me not to throw this ridiculous case out and I don’t see a reason why I would grant that Just then the court room doors fly open and in walks a very drunk Sir William Covington III. He stumbles to the front and falls face first to the floor Harvey That’s why your honor. I present you my client and rightful king of England Sir William Covington III William mumbles William You forgot Esquire Harvey That’s not approved yet William Shut up Warren slams down the gavel to get order in his court Warren Enough! You make a mockery of my court and you want me to hear your silly outlandish case? Why should I even listen? William stands up and tries to fix his clothes William You call this a mockery? I’ll show you a mockery William goes to the defendants table and spills their water onto their notes. Then he goes and kisses the court clerk before forcing Warren to give him props before flipping Warren off. William That’s a mockery Warren You have seconds to explain where you are going with this or I will hold you in contempt of court. William I am here to tell you and show you that I am the rightful king of England and not those morons that hold it now. You say I waste your time but not one current member of the royal family is here. They are not here to address the allegations I have against them. They are terrorist, they are rude, and they are flat out not needed anymore. Why have a royal family? Britain has a PM so why have a queen? I for one want the throne back to me because my side of the family was forced out and we got screwed. I just want what is mine which is the throne and crown. I then will dissolve the Royal family because it is meaningless and no one likes Royals. I have plans which I do not have to say in court. So do not think this is me trying to stir things up. I don’t want to merely just get rid of the so called royal family. I want to rid the world of that awful crown and install a new type of “royal” family that people will respect. I have piles and I do mean piles of evidence which backs up anything I have said and will say. It’s enough to let this to go to trial. William starts to walk out of court Warren Where are you going? William To party Warren I have not made my judgement. I can rule against this going to court William You will not do that Warren How do you know? William snaps his fingers and a stream of people enter the courtroom with boxes of files. William That is every shred of evidence I have. Enough proof to show that if you rule against a trial you will lose your standing as a judge William leaves the court room Warren This is going to trial so defence prepare for it and make sure a royal representative is here next court date. Warren turns to Harvey Warren As for you. Keep your client on a tighter leash. Make sure he is on time from now on Harvey With all due respect 31 minutes late is on time for him INT-LIMO-DAY William is doing coke off a stripper’s naked body when Harvey gets into the limo Harvey Where is your entourage? William looks around William Uh… oh yeah… Ahma fucked off and Putin is doing his Putin thing in Russia Harvey You know now I have to follow you everywhere so you do not make an ass of yourself and don’t compromise the case William laughs William Do you even know me? Everything I do makes an ass of myself Harvey Then you don’t know men. I will surround you with people that will make you look good even though you are a fucked individual William Why thank you, I take that as the highest complement William looks at his watch William We better hurry up, I have a press conference in a few Harvey Oh god for what? William Don’t worry it’s a good cause… I think INT-PRESS ROOM-DAY Harvey He? You mean he is the next one in line? Seriously? Come on Security Look man I just work here I have no idea what is going on Harvey They are about to announce him as the next… William walks to the podium William I would like to say it is an honor and all that shit to be the next Captian of the Dynamo but that would be a complete and utter lie. I maybe the next captain but I am still the man that I was yesterday and the day before that. Will I lead? Sure I will lead my team to endless Charles pub and grill were endless shots are just $40. The episode ends as William walks away from the podium.

Covington has arrived

Double Ouch

Ouch

INT-CASINO VILLA-MORNING Sir William Covington III is passed out on an inflated raft with a tanning board. A very frantic Ahma runs into the villa yelling and screaming looking for something Ahma Guys! Guys! Ahma frantically looks around the villa flipping over couches and other things. He is clearly not looking for William or Putin. Ahma spots William in the pool and runs to him before belly flopping into the pool. A he comes up for air he screams in pain but swims to William frantically. He pulls William off the raft to wake him up but William sinks to the bottom of the pool. After a brief moment Ahma dives down and pulls William up. William wakes up as Ahma is pulling him out of the pool. William looks around in amazement. William What’s going on? You teaching me how to sleep swim? Is that what it is? I can drown you know Ahma No! I lost Liz William Liz? What’s a Liz? Ahma looks at William oddly Ahma You know William No I do not Ahma My lizard! I bring him everywhere I go William Not when I am around Ahma Yes I do, He’s always around me and I’m always around you. But now… He’s gone! William Hmmmm interesting… Tell someone that cares Ahma But… William If if’s and buts would be candy and nuts I’d be a fat guy Ahma So you won’t help me find Liz? William Wait… You named your lizard Liz? Do you have an ounce of originality in you? Ahma Shut up! William stands up and walks to the bar William Ok… but first I need to get drunk. Secondly… Ahma Drunk? To go Lizard finding? William SECONDLY! If you don’t mind. We need to find Putin Ahma rolls his eyes Ahma Why him? William Will you stop interrupting me? Ahma Yes William That counts as an interruption… As I was about to say. Putin is an excellent tracker and he will find your lizard in oh about two minutes. Give or take a day or few or… never Ahma begins to cry Ahma Never? You really Liz is gone to the rock cave in the sky? William Rock cave in the sky? Are you fucked? Ahma uncontrollably cries Ahma Please help me William I will bud, but as I said before I need to get downright Jim Lahey blue smurf drunk. Because that’s the only state of mind I can be in when dealing with such boring things like a Lizard hunt. Ahma Oh god! Not blue smurf drunk William chugs from a bottle of Patron Vodka William The only way it’s gonna happen bud William goes back to chugging the vodka. Ahma tilts the bottle more Ahma Drink up INT-CASINO FLOOR-DAY Putin sitting at a poker table playing a game with a few other random people. The cards are dealt and Putin looks at his cards for maybe a second to about a second and a half. The intense look on his face does not change. Three out of the five people he is playing look at their cards and then at Putin trying to read him. They all fold at the same time. Putin does not even look at the remaining players he sits there almost staring into blank space. Player one smiles as he looks at his cards yet again and a smile comes across his face as he tosses five thousand to the center of the table. Player two thinks for a second then looks at his cards before he matches the five thousand. Almost instantly without looking at his cards again Putin matches the bet. After Player one and two check Putin ups his bet by fifty thousand. Players think for a second and they match his bet. The dealer now deals the flop which turns out to be Ace of Spades, five of Spades and two of spades. Player two gets upset by the flop and tosses his cards into the middle Player two I fold Putin smirks a bit but still intensely looks off to the distance. Player One looks at Player Two Player One I got it this time Player One tosses one hundred thousand into the middle without thinking. Putin matches the bet the ups it with five hundred thousand Dealer Vladimir Putin ups his bet by hundred thousand. Player One your move Player One looks at his cards then at the cards on the table. Player One I got this Player one matches the bet. The dealer burns one card then puts the turn card on the table which is the six of spades. Player One almost jumps out of his seat in excitement. Just as a very drunk William walks up to him with Ahma. Putin signals them to wait a minute without looking. Like he was expecting them. Putin now pushes all his chips into the middle of the table. Dealer Vladimir Putin is all in with five point two million Player One pushes all his chips into the middle of the table also Dealer Pot now sits at eight point nine four million People cheer and gasp in amazement as Player One stands to say something Player One Gather round everyone, come witness me beat the President of Russia Player One cockily tosses his cards on the table revealing that he has the Three of Spades, four of Spades a pair of kings an a queen so all he needs is the seven of spades to complete the full house. Player One With all due respect Vladi boy, eat shit Dealer Sit down sir Player One I’ll stand celebrate my victory Dealer I wouldn’t if I were you Player One I’m not scared Dealer Not saying you are but I still wouldn’t Player One Deal the card The dealer burns a card then reveals the river card to be a Two of diamonds. Player one thinks for a second that if he can still win Player one I win with a pair and high card. There is no way he has anything Putin grabs his cards and slowly one by one flips over first revealing the six of hearts. Dealer Vladimir Putin wins with two sixes Player one sits down in his chair in amazement Player One How? He beat me? With two sixes? WHAT THE FUCK! He cheated! Dealer That is impossible Putin stands up tosses the rest of his cards on the table revealing he had three sixes and two two’s in hand. Giving him two four of a kind’s. Putin tosses the three sixes at the player as he grabs the chips Putin Those are for you as clown Dealer Correction Vladimir Putin wins with four sixes and four two’s. Putin signals his security detail to bring his chips to the room before he turns to William and Ahma Putin What seems to be the problem? William is incoherently drunk Putin Must be meaningless if you let him get this drunk Ahma I couldn’t stop him Putin You could have come up with a better reason why you need our help so he would care more and drink less. You now how he gets when is this drunk. Soon he will be fucking all the hot women and snorting all the coke leaving none for me. He’s a real dick when he is blue smurf drunk Ahma But… but… Liz is gone Putin A les is gone? Look Ahma you are an okay looking guy but you aren’t good enough looking or good enough in the sack to make a les turn straight or even bi. You should aim to make them smile or some shit like that. Let me get you a cheap whore and you will forget about that lesbian Ahma NOT LES! I SAID LIZ! MY LIZARD! Putin Liz the lizard? Can you be more lame then that? William That’s what she said Putin I will help you Ahma but… Ahma rolls his eyes since he knows what is coming. Ahma and Putin at the same time say “I need to get drunk” Ahma then snaps his fingers so a waitress appears with a full bottle vodka almost like Ahma knew what he needed to do so Putin can help. William tries to grab the bottle but falls flat on the ground William I’m getting drunk boys Ahma But you are already drunk William I’m getting drunk boys INT-VILLA-DAY Putin kicks open the villa door and drunkenly stumbles towards Ahma’s room. Putin If I remember correctly me and willie boy played a joke on you last night. You passed out after six bumps of coke and two bottles of vodka. Putin leads them all to the door of Ahma’s room Putin We bought the dirtiest and I mean dirtiest whore on the strip since we didn’t want to waste money on one. We got her loaded up and laid her on you in your bed so when you woke up you would think you cheated on your whore fiancée. Well you woke up from your slumber shouting something about your hair being on fire which I think you mistook the crabs you got from her as fire and you ran out of her not even noticing the hooker. So long story short me and willie wanted to see how loose she was we put thinks like a bat, vodka bottle, shampoo bottle in her but that was not good enough. We wanted to gerble her but we had no gerble so we uh… Lizarded her. Putin opens the door to reveal the hooker still on the bed with a lizard between her legs not moving. Ahma screams and runs and pulls Liz out of the whore Ahma He’s dead you assholes Putin That’s life Ahma He was my best friend and now he is gone Putin Wrong buddy, we’re your best friends Ahma No because best friends would never do this to each other. Now you two drunk fucks must come help me bury him Putin Why don’t we bury him her pussy and call it a day Ahma NO! You two are coming and that’s that Putin Do we have to? Ahma Yes! Now let’s go EXT-POOL SIDE-DAY A stream of liquid is hitting the pool like someone is pissing into the pool. As we pan back we see Putin putting lighter fluid on a box that is floating on the water. Ahma I would like to say a few words. Liz you were my best friend, you were always there for me when I was down. For that I thank you. You may have been a lizard but you had a heart of gold. Thank you for listening to me all those times I needed to talk to someone Putin and William burst out laughing William Talking to a lizard Ahma May you rest peacefully in the sky my little dude William Or at least in a deep, wet loose pussy Ahma glares at William Ahma Now you William Putin first Putin thinks for a second Putin I wish I knew you Liz… actually don’t but that’s between me and you. But you kept our little finnish buddy sane so thank you for that. Now we go to the store to replace your ass easily because who really will miss a lizard? William pats Putin on the back William That was good bud. Wish I came up with it. William thinks for a second William You liked to fuck around and fuck around you did till your last dying breath which happened to be inside a skanky pussy. You lived life like any lizard would with a bump of coke here and there and a bowl filled with vodka. Most of time I thought you were dead but you were passed out… Wait what if he is passed out boys? Eh who cares. Peace you green fuck. Ahma lights a match as he cries Ahma Goodbye little dude He tosses the match at the box but nothing happens. He tries over and over but still nothing. William grabs the boxes of matches and dumps fluid on it then sets that on fire before tossing the burning matches on the floating box. William So long dick weasel Hearing William call the lizard a dick weasel and seeing his lizard’s box go up in flames makes Ahma cry even more before he looks at Putin Ahma Make him say sorry for calling Liz a dick weasel Putin No can do buddy, no can do Ahma snobs as the box floats away on fire we now see everyone by the pool not knowing what to do as this goes on. Putin leans in and whispers in Ahma’s ear Putin Oh the hooker is dead also you might want to get rid of the body before house cleaning comes Ahma in disbelief looks at Putin not knowing what to say Ahma What? Putin She’s your hooker, so go out to the desert and bury her skank ass. No one will miss her loose pussy… well maybe Liz will. But he’s also dead to Ahma bursts into tears Putin It’s okay bud, take a rental car and come back after. But make sure it’s at least eight feet deep. Normally six feet is good enough but add two feet cause you can smell that pussy from a mile away. Ahma What is eight feet? I go by meters Putin Google it bud. Putin and William start to walk away as Ahma stands there in tears. The episode ends with Ahma saying something in Finnish that roughly translates to “I will bury her but then I will disappear to make you ass clowns miss me”

With the end of the season soon nearing every team in the league will be looking forward to the draft and free agency. But in Davos they have zero idea where their GM Ahma is. No one really has talked to him in a while and the one person who knows where he is and why he is gone is not saying a word about it. To make matters worse Sir William Covington III is entering his rookie season in Davos and year two of his contract. Which should not be troubling to most teams but here is the twist in the story. Covington owns a player option on year three and can opt out of that option at any time. Most people expected him not to pick it up but people close to the situation said that William was never going to pick it up but would have signed for more money in Davos because of Ahma. But now Ahma is gone, might even be gone for good. Which will make Covington feel he has to be loyal to the team that drafted him and he may look for employment elsewhere in the league. But the true kicker here is that Covington is the one true person other then Ahma that knows where the drunk finnish fuck went. But you will not get that out of Convington anytime soon. He said today in a press release "I will not tell anyone because he wants to keep it a secret so all of you can fuck off. Secondly if Ahma does not return I will not return to Davos for a second season simple as that. This is a promise so if they replace him the new GM will have a whole season to try trade my rights because well... He won't have me beyond this season"

No other words needed

Why I said it

Come on Ottawa

4 games 0 points for Covi 0 wins for the Wild... goodbye VHLM I won't miss you

Well it makes it easier to beat us when Covington has 0 points through 3 games

Sir William Covington III Center Points FO Won

Top 5 liked 1. Matt Duchene 2. Alexander Ovechkin 3. Nathan Mackinnon 4. Patrick Kane 5. Connor McDavid Top 5 hated 1. SIDNEY CROSBY (I HATE HIM SO VERY MUCH) 2. Joe Thornton 3. Carey Price 4. Zach Parise 5. Bryan Little All time Top 5 liked 1. Joe Sakic 2. Peter Forsberg 3. Patrick Roy 4. Sean Avery 5. Adam Foote Top 5 hated 1. SIDNEY CROSBY (I HATE HIM SO VERY MUCH) 2. Todd Bertuzzi 3. Scott Stevens 4. Martin Brodeur (See 4 on liked list and you get a LOL moment) 5. Brett Hull

Life in Times will take a different way of presenting its weekly episode. Fans tonight will be treated to a real treat. Welcome to Life In Times Valentines edition. The second worst day of the year right after tax day. Unless you are gay or a woman. Then you love this day. EXT-SOUTH AFRICA-DAY We start with shots of a male lion and female lion walking side by side Narrator We see the king of the animal kingdom taking a walk with his bitch as his side. Even in the animal kingdom the female of the pride nags the male to take them out on this day. Even if they do live outdoors. The male lion looks at his bitch and wonders when he can go back to eating the antelope that he just killed. We cut back to the lion taking down the antelope and showing off to his bitch that he is a powerful big man. The female rolls her eyes and walks away with their child in their mouth so it does not see its father be “stupid” EXT-AUSTRALIA-DAY A male kangaroo is boxing with another kangaroo as the little roo watches his dad. The mother kangaroo and smacks the male kangaroo in the head before picking up the roo and putting him in her pouch. Narrator Women want equal rights and that’s fair they deserve it but for it to be equal they have to treat us the same way that they expect us to treat them. But it will never be the same. The Women species is always looking to ruin our fun. The Poor kangaroo just wanted to kick stupid kangaroo’s ass but the women smacked him in front of their kid to show their kid that his father is an idiot. INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-DAY Ahma sits on a couch in a Las Vegas Villa looking at a photo of his girlfriend back at him in Finland. The sounds of sex fill the villa. Ahma puts earplug into his ears to drown out the sex. Narrator Now we see the human male that is already taken, but he does not celebrate being away from the moody bloody female. He misses her as the other alpha males are having fun and are “crushing” females. After a while Sir William Covington comes out of his room in a silk robe. He is shoving a random out the front door of the villa before he walks to the kitchen in the villa to look for food. He looks into the fridge to see nothing. He slams the door and looks over at Ahma Narrator Now we see the true alpha of the alphas, the so called man’s man. This is the man that everyone wants to be. He does not think with his heart he thinks with his dick. Like every man should. After totally destroying that female’s holes he kicked her to the curb and now is hungry. But the Beta male has forgotten to stock the fridge with so called after fuck food. William walks over to Ahma and snatches the picture out of hands and looks at It William Who’s this whore? She looks loose at fuck but still a good lay. She sure looks like she can take a pounding Ahma That’s my fiancée William laughs William Fiancee? And you are here on Valentines day? Boy will she ever be mad at you… But! Look at the bright side Ahma reaches for the picture which William does not allow Ahma to take from him. Ahma Which is? William Um… that you can crush pussy with me and Putin Ahma looks towards a close bedroom door Ahma Well isn’t he married? William This is Vegas whatever happens here stays here Ahma Well I’m not like that. I am loyal to the end just like I am in Hockey William laughs William No wonder you suck Narrator The alpha male will always take any opportunity to point out that they are the alpha. The Beta does not have anything they can do about it. Unless there is a second Alpha. If that is the situation you find yourself in then you should either run for the hills or grab some popcorn and enjoy the show. Putin walks out of the room with two models on other either side of him. He smacks their ass and says “out” they listen and leave. He looks at Ahma then at William. He now grabs the picture from William and looks at it Putin Who’s this cock sucking whore? Ahma gets upset and stands up to get in Putins face Ahma That’s my fiancée so give me the picture back Putin gives the picture a closer look Putin She look familiar Ahma What? A smile comes across the face of Putin Putin Yeah it’s Pilllu… god she gave amazing head and that hole of hers is toight. But to be nice to little Ahma we should call her Pimppi William laughs William Hahahaha so she’s a pimp? A woman pimp? Wow they really taking this equality right to everywhere Putin Pillu is finnish for Cunt and Pimppi is pussy William and Putin high five Ahma SHUT UP! I HAD ENOUGH! Give me back the picture. You guys are my bro’s but you take this shit to new levels. Putin looks at the picture and grabs his crotch Putin He remembers her also Putin shrugs and tosses the picture across the room shattering the frame into pieces. Putin Fetch bitch! Narrator In a two alpha male situation you the beta will always be picked on till you cannot take it anymore. But there is always a silver lining to everything. Sometimes you have more than them even if you cannot see it. There are theories out there that alpha males like these two only are the way they are because they are compensating for not having a good woman to love them. Putin is married yes, but let’s be honest he is not faithful and William is way too conceded to even date. Ahma on the other hand is engaged. Too a whore maybe but still is engaged to some that he loves. Does she love him? Who knows but we all know something she does love and that is the dick. EXT-SOUTH AFRICA-DAY We see the lion eating the antelope as the other lions watch while they lick their mouths. Narrator Back with the lions we now see the male lion tearing into the antelope that it took down earlier in the day. The female looks on as the male does not share with anyone else. But the naturally big heart of the lion grows one extra size today because today is the day of love or as the easily forfeiting French would say jour de l’amour. So he decides to share his kill with his bitch in hopes he will get it in tonight and not have her try and say no. Like that even works. EXT-AUSTRALIA-DAY The male kangaroo is hopping along looking for something. Narrator The male kangaroo may not think he did something wrong but the female makes it seem like it so now the male has to make it up to his bitch or he won’t be getting any that night. INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-DAY Ahma picks the picture off the ground and returns to William and Putin Ahma Look what you did to Elinor, you dirtied her up William Elinor? What kind of old age name is that? Is she Elinor the time traveling whore? Putin Ah yes Ellie. God she was a good filthy whore. Trust me she’s way more dirty then the floor is in this villa. Ahma THAT’S IT! I’m leaving. If I leave now I may be able to get back to her by tomorrow and make it up to her that I was with you two today instead of her. Ahma begins to pack his bags as Putin and William laugh Putin Ain’t that cute? He thinks he is leaving William pats Ahma on the head like he is a little kid William I like when he gets mad, it’s funny Putin I think someone needs Porridge Ahma glares at Putin Ahma Don’t you dare bring my second love into this Putin What? I think you would calm down over a bowl of porridge Ahma I will not! This time you two fucks went over the edge Putin We go over it every day, what’s so different today? Ahma looks around the villa Ahma First off you guys got the two bedroom villa over the three bedroom villa for some stupid reason. It’s complementary you know? That means it’s free! I would like to sleep on a bed and not a couch that had god knows how many naked asses on it. Secondly… William Ain’t that cute he made a list Ahma WILL YOU LET ME FINISH? William Sure Ahma Secondly! I miss my beautiful non dirty whore Putin whispers at William Putin But she is one Ahma I heard that!... but as I was saying. She is not a dirty whore. I miss her with all my heart. She is my world. On this day on this one day I hoping the future of the Davos franchise would put on his big boy pants so he wouldn’t do anything stupid or moronic so I could go home and see her. But no! I have to baby sit you so the pick we used on you will not go to waste. William But I am wasted Ahma Shut up! Thirdly and lastly…. William Is thirdly even a word? Ahma glares at William Ahma You two mock me at every turn and I do mean every turn. No matter how little it is. You think it’s funny and usually I am too drugged and drunk out of my mind to even care but today on this day where I miss my girl so much I am sober! Sober like a fucking judge William Then you haven’t met the judges I know Putin laughs Putin I just realized he said asses William grabs a bottle of finnish vodka William Quick hold him down he needs to get drunk Ahma begins to slam clothes from the ground into his suitcase Ahma Vittu Tata Paskaa Putin He’s going all finnish on us William Okay now we know he is serious Ahma points at Putin Ahma You are the Piru He now points at William Ahma And you are Saatana Putin Now you are splitting hairs Ahma zips up his luggage Ahma And I’m gone William No you are still standing right here Ahma And you guys just can’t stop. Can’t you two just see I miss my fiancée and try to make me happy and not make me mad? Putin I still think porridge will help defuse the situation William Like it did The Whorridge Party of 2015 Ahma Don’t you dare even bring that up Ahma has a flashback of everyone covered in porridge Ahma The horror! Oh god the horror! So much wasted porridge Putin We had a crab’s scare we had to act fast. They apparently don’t like porridge Ahma That’s false! You just got so drunk and high that you morons went swimming in porridge Putin looks at William Putin Time for another Whorridge party? Ahma drops his bags and rushes to the kitchen to grab boxes of porridge Ahma No you will not! It’s not their fault that you two are rich ass clowns that use it for other than eating Ahma holds the boxes tight Ahma I will stay for them so you two don’t use them for stupid reasons Putin We knew you would stay Ahma glares at Putin Ahma Shut up EXT-SOUTH AFRICA-DAY The female lion gets up after eating and nudges the male who is trying to lick blood off his fur coat. Narrator The female lion now knows what she has to do because male did his job and provided for his family and pride. So now it’s time for her to do her job and please her man. The male lion roars at his bitch but then gets up and follows her into the cave as the sun sets on South Africa EXT-AUSTRALIA-DAY A male kangaroo hops back to the female kangaroo with flowers in hand and hanging his head. She looks at the flowers then at her man. She kangaroo kicks him to the ground and gets on top Narrator Lesson learned, no matter human or animal all females can melt at the sight of flowers. If you want a little something on this day of love then buy some stupid flowers or at least go few houses down the road like I did and rip the flowers out of the garden. Because I learned last year a woman knows the flowers of her own garden. Don’t shit where you eat boys, don’t do it! INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-NIGHT Putin and William are trying to make up for fucking around earlier so they are making Ahma porridge in the kitchen. William takes a big drink from a bottle of Finnish Vodka. Then pours the rest into the porridge William Needs more kick Putin Agreed, it’s too light for Mr. Downer Ahma walks out of the washroom in a robe he walks to the kitchen excited because he smells porridge Ahma Please don’t tell me Whorridge is tonight William Nah scheduling it for next weekend. Tonight I have a surprise for the both of you Ahma looks concerned Ahma Oh god what is it? William takes out a key card from his suit jacket and hands it to Ahma William There is a certain someone that may or may not have three holes in a villa that has three bedrooms that we will move into tomorrow. Ahma I am not fucking a hooker Putin You already do Ahma Shut it William No not a hooker. I knew you missed that dirty slut so I flew her in. William looks at his Rolex watch William She probably is in there right now and probably prepping for a nice slow fuck or however you two fuck Ahma Ahmastyle William What? Ahma Nothing… Ahma leaves as he grabs a bowl of Vodka and Porridge Ahma This tastes different The door closes. William turns to Putin Putin What will we do? The kid is out we have the fuck palace too ourselves A knock on the door can be heard. William I was going to invite your wife here for you… Putin Why would you do that? William But then I remembered you would hate that. So I got you four hookers for the next twenty four hours. Putin hugs William then answers the door. As Putin disappears into his room William leaves the villa. In the elevator there is a moment where maybe just maybe William looks sad that he is alone but his phone rings and he answers. William Hey! The kids are taken care of. I’m on my way. Narrator Moral of the story is even the biggest dicks have someone that they go home too. Be it a lion that does not share, a kangaroo that likes to fight, a Finnish moron that dates an ex hooker, A President that much rather have four hookers or the rightful King that reserves his so called mythical heart for a true gem. So pretend to care on this day and get it in boys! That is the true meaning of this day for us men. The episode ends with a Montague of Ahma seeing Elinor in bed in lingerie, Putin having fun with the hookers, the bedroom closing on the camera as Ahma walks towards Elinor and William walking up to a door that says “Penthouse”. The episode fades to black as he opens the door.

With the end of the season quickly approaching lets get caught up with the worlds favorite upstart league. The Las Vegas Debauchery are running shit like most people thought they would. They lead the league with with 110 points but are followed by a very strong season by the dealers that have 96 points this season. Next comes the VHL Legends with 83 points. All 3 teams have more points then even the top team in the Real World conference which is lead by the Oilers at 72 points then the Avalanche at 64 points then Team Canada at 56 points. It is pretty clear the champs will come from the Fantasy Conference. Will it be the powerhouse Debauchery? Or can the Dealers beat them in a 7 game Series? Let's be honest these two will be the leagues only two 100 point teams with only limited games remaining (17) I mean it is possible that eh VHL Legends get to 100 but I wouldn't really count on it. Next up lets talk about the leaders Commander Bubbles leads the league with 172 points which 80 of are goals. Each time he scores a goal he brings a kitty onto the ice for the celebration. He told the media that the salary he makes here are helping him get a bigger shed since his kitties are eating "high end kitty food" and because of that they have been screwing like crazy so they are reproducing at a crazy pace. He told LHL.com "We in sunnyvale aren't really into showing off with nice things, I don't want to get a bigger shed but my current shed will be the cat shed and I will get my own. I had enough of Stinkster and Daisy doing it on me while I sleep" The biggest drop is Robbie Zimmers who looked to be dominating the league till the 20 game make but now sits at a lazy 120 points. Compared that to other players in the league it seems that as if Robbie has become the player that he was in the VHL. That's it for now fuckers. The next update will be the regular season ending. Peace!

not bad for me

eh could have played better

2 goals on 22 shots now that's a lot of 2's #onemore