BluObieZ

71 points and counting

First off I would like to point out I do not watch “The Walking Dead” I think it’s stupid and just bad TV. BUT! Having said that, I need a new story to tell other than “Life In Times” So I will be switching it up this one week and that the next. This is the Zombie Apocalypse VHL style. INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING Sir William Covington is laying in his bed passed out from one of his epic parties. In runs Vincent Adultman @Nobody who begins to start to wake up William. William does not even move. Vincent looks down at William then rushes to the washroom to grab a glass of water. Vincent comes back and splashes William in the face with it. William doesn’t even flinch from the splash of water. Vincent grows concerned and begins to look around the room for something. INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING Kendrick is watching Big Fat Greek Wedding in an empty movie theatre as he cries at the wedding scene and eats popcorn. INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING @Draper and @Higgins are sitting back with their legs up on the table with no care in the world Draper Yo Higgins looks around the room then back at Draper Higgins Me? Draper looks around Draper Yeah who else? Higgins shrugs Higgins Thought @Victor would be here he usually just interrupts us randomly Draper Not to… Victor runs into the room out of breath as his drinks from a big bottle of rum Victor I have ideas Draper What kind? Victor Ones that will help the league Higgins Interesting Victor Indeed! They are very interesting Draper Interesting Vic my boy, what kind of interesting things are we talking about here? Victor Interesting things that you two would be interested in Draper Interesting! Sit down and let’s talk Victor grabs the nearest seat to him and prepares to speak but Draper stops him and taps the table Draper You know the rules bud, feet up on the table at all times. We may run a league but we are relaxed while we do it Higgins Agreed Draper looks at Higgins Draper You didn’t need to agree there, it’s just how we do it so it’s gonna be how it’s done Higgins Agreed Draper Stop Victor shrugs and puts his feet up on the table as he takes another chug from the rum bottle. EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING Vincent comes back into the room with a knife and goes towards William. As he holds the knife in both hands, Vincent holds it right above the head of William. Just as he is about to sink it into William’s head William opens his eyes and looks right up at Vincent William What exactly do you think you are doing? Vincent I thought you were dead William So you want to stab me in my head? Stabbing a dead person seems like overkill... pun intended. Vincent Not if you are undead William Undead? What you talkin’ bout Willis? INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING Kendrick leaves the theatre after the movie ends as he is wiping away the tears from his face. As he exits the theatre six he spots popcorn, bags, shoes and other personal items strewn all over the floor. Kendrick finds it odd but shrugs it off. As he walks towards the exit of the cinema he looks into other theatres to see them all empty but movies still playing. INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING Higgins So your idea is to screw over all teams but one. Victor Not any team but the shittiest of the shitty. Stockholm. They suck and you know it. We need to rig it so they win Draper sits there thinking a moment as he rubs his chin like he is in deep thought. Draper You know this chin rubbing thing doesn’t help with thinking. But it sure does feel good Higgins and Victor sit back and rub their chins for a few moments Higgins You’re right Victor Yeah… All I can do is think about alcohol Draper You always think about alcohol Higgins Because he’s an alcoholic Draper snaps at Higgins Draper You can’t call an alcoholic an alcoholic it may depress them Higgins No that’s for a recovering alcoholic. You cannot bring up the sauce and bring any near them because they may jump off the wagon. But with Vic here we will never have to worry about that, because he most def is on the sauce Victor finishes taking a swig from the bottle of Rum Victor Very True EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard. Along the way Ahma sees a steaming bowl of porridge and a bottle of vodka. As he reaches down for them he gets caught in a net and a voice can be heard saying “I got one” INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING William is now sitting on the couch with a crown on his head, he leans down to the glass table and does two lines of cocaine before raising his head up to look at Vincent William Zombies? In Vegas? Vincent No it’s wide spread. They say it’s airborne. Spreading really quickly. If you aren’t a zombie yet then you are immune to the airborne virus. But a Zombie can sit kill you William A zombie? Vincent Yes! Why is that so hard to understand? William A zombie in Las Vegas? Vincent You aren’t getting it William Are you sure it’s not just some drunk fuck high on bath salts? Vincent If it was one person maybe, but it’s all over the world Vincent reaches for the TV remote and turns on the TV to LIVE BREAKING NEWS! ZOMBIE OUTBREAK William Nice joke Vincent It’s not a joke William Uh huh and I’m not the King of England Vincent You’re not William points at his crown William What’s this? Vincent A crown… I do not see why this is relevant William You say I am not the king but I somehow got a crown Vincent You stole it from Burger King William You just Jelly that you don’t have one Vincent I really am not, you’re probably a wanted man. If there wouldn’t be a Zombie outbreak the Police would be here William And I would offer them coke Vincent sighs Vincent Okay… we are getting off topic William Which is? Vincent ZOMBIES!!! William’s cell phone begins to ring, he looks down to see it’s Vladimir Putin. He quickly answers the phone William Putin my boy! What is up? INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING Kendrick nears the concession area when he hears a loud bang. As he cautiously nears the corner he slowly peeps his head around it to see even a bigger mess all over the floor. He then looks toward where sounds can be heard. He sees a figure standing at the other end of the big area. He thinks for a moment before stepping out from behind the wall Kendrick Hey! The figure quickly looks over at Kendrick INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING As the three still sit there thinking over things in runs @JardyB10. Jardy is holding a very sharp pencil in one hand and what appears to be a dildo that has be sharpened. Jardy Guys we have to leave Higgins looks at Jardy oddly Higgins Yeah… no shit. Why are you holding a sharp dildo?... Actually don’t answer that, I don’t want to know Jardy It’s for protection Higgins Against what? Lesbian Vampires? Jardy laughs Jardy No, because they would just eat pussy to get the blood they need. This is for Jardy looks around cautiously Jardy Zombies Higgins, Draper and Victor burst out laughing INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY Ahma is hanging from the ceiling in the net as he eat porridge and clutches the bottle of vodka. A man walks out of the darkness and approaches Ahma Man Enjoy it because that will be the last porridge you ever eat Ahma stops eating and looks up at the man Ahma Last ever? Why? Man You mean you don’t know? Ahma Know what? I’ve been looking for my lizard Liz for almost two months. Man So you been in the woods that long? Ahma Yeah Man Wow, do I ever have a story to tell you. But first! The man reaches for the bottle that Ahma has. Ahma snaps at the man and hisses at him Ahma Mine! My precious! Man NO! It’s mine. Who takes another man’s drink and Porridge? Ahma I thought someone just forgot it Man Who would waste perfectly good Vodka and Porridge? Ahma An idiot that’s who Man You calling me an idiot? INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING William stands up as he finishes the phone call William I’ll see there in two hours. Fire it up and have it ready William hangs up his cellphone and looks at Vincent William Why in the fuck did you not tell me Zombies are running around outside? Vincent Um… I did! William I thought you were kidding Vincent points at the TV Vincent What part of that looks like a joke? William looks at the TV and shrugs William I don’t know. But what I do know is that I have Putin and a private jet ready to get us out of here. So let’s fucking go! INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING Kendrick and the mysterious figure look at each other. The figure begins to slowly make its way towards Kendrick moaning. Kendrick looks on oddly wondering what is going on. The figure begins to groan and stumble as it nears Kendrick. Just as the figure nears a light so Kendrick can see its face the power grid fails and the power goes out. Kendrick Stop right there bud. I want no trouble The figure continues to walk towards him INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING Draper, Higgins and Victor are sitting back and watching a prepared video package by Jardy complete with episode one of “Zombiecast” and episode one of “Drivecast Zombie edition” Draper Fuck that’s messed up Jardy Yeah so we need to leave like… an hour ago Higgins Why didn’t we? Jardy I didn’t do all that work and not get recognition for it Higgins It was pretty good and very informative Victor finishes his rum bottle Victor I agree Victor burps Victor But I am not leaving without another bottle of Rum Draper pulls out a set of keys Draper Already have that covered. We will just dip into the leagues “in case of emergency” stockpile of booze Victor No wonder you run shit Higgins What about me? Victor You? I don’t know why you are around Higgins Harsh Jardy slams his fist down on the table Jardy Guys! Focus! We need to arm ourselves and get the fuck out of dodge Higgins Got a car? Jardy Once the power grid fails like it has in most parts of the world there will be no gas and no gas means no car. Luckily I had a horse drawn carriage at the farm. So I hooked up four Llamas and it’s ready to go. Nothing beats Llama power! Higgins Okay I’m sold! Draper You’re sold? Are you fucked? IT’S LLAMA’S!!!!! We will be dead as soon as we enter that shit! Higgins You fail to remember Jardy has experience with Llama’s. Remember Llama Drama? Jardy has a flashback Draper Oh yeah… Okay let’s go The three look at Jardy who is still in his flashback Jardy The horror… THE HORROR!!!! Jardy snaps out of it and looks at the guys Jardy What are you guys doing standing around? Let’s go! INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY Ahma Wow! Now that’s a story Man Now to the question of the hour Ahma Hour? It really took that long to tell? Man It was a detailed story Ahma It was, it kept me on the edge of my seat... I mean net Man So are you with us or will we have to get rid of you? As Ahma thinks about his decision another man is seen in the background by a fire eating what appears to be a lizard INT-LAS VEGAS HOTEL-MORNING William and Vincent leave the hotel room cautiously. As they cautiously walk down the hall they find a boy with a cowboy hat holding a gun. As they near the boy the boy looks shocked and scared at them Vincent Hey little dude you okay? The boy does not say anything Vincent Give me the gun A man walks out a room holding a baby. Man Do not take that gun from him. He just had to kill his mom who died after giving birth Vincent spins around to look at the man Vincent You are the father I assume? Man That would be me Vincent Well if you guys want you can come with us. We have a plane William Shut up! Vincent turns to William and whispers Vincent Why? William Because I don’t like to share! Vincent We have to help him he has two kids William If we help him then we will have to help every Dick and Jane out there and I will not do that. I look out for myself Man You do know we can hear you right? William sighs William Welcome to the team The man sticks out his hand that Vincent gladly knocks shakes but William knocks away. Man I’m Rick and he is Carl William That’s nice Rick looks at William Rick You’re the king aren’t you? William rolls his eyes William That would be me The episode ends with shots of William’s group taking the elevator to the casino, Jardy and the guys running towards the carriage, Ahma thinking in the net and the figure nearing Kendrick. What will happen next episode? Will William learn to be a team player? Will Ahma join forces or will he die like his lizard? With Llama power get league management out of town safely? And will Kendrick even make it out of the movie theatre alive? Stay tuned fuckers!

6 points in 2 games

You guys got Robbie'd Covi finally woke the fuck up Another Hatty and 1st star for me

4

Well this took a hard hook to right

#letsmakevhlgreatagain #buildthatwall #walljustgot10feettaller #whatisthevhlsstanceonabortion

Not enough recruits, losing members and we expand? April fools and it's so damn obvious. I knew it by the threads name

Covington taking control

Ok I'll give you that I do lose track or have no interest in things

Um FYI... Usually when someone says something like there is three rookies for example and then the next thing they say is buy in all seriousness they are most likely joking around.

Yeah there are three lol you, me and adultman. But all kidding aside lots of people picked you to win it and maybe 3-5 picked me (I was one) I'm not saying I will forsure win it, just saying what if I do? I think a lot of people wouldn't be happy

What if? The world was square? would you ever care? would you even reprieve the difference? Or would the would be turned on end? Pun intended? Would ships and cars drive and float off of side and have to fight garvity to get down the side? how would the would be on the bottom? how would the atmosphere look on a square world? would it a square? or a circle? would planes just fly into space because of odd shape? The Maple Leafs didn't suck? Who would be the leagues joke of a team? Sundin had good players to play with? the team tanked properly and got players like Kane, Stamkos, Tavares? They didn't trade away fist round picks like they were candy? Would they have any cups in the last 10 years? would they rival the Hawks? The Kings? Would they still suck? If Covington wins the ROTY? Would you riot? would you quit? would you go out of your way to make sure that when it came down to award voting GM's would not vote for him? Would it ruin the VHL? Would you be all for "r!gging" sims so I don't rack up points? Would you be shocked the Kenndrick didn't win it?

That's just how I do shit

Finally getting some points

Davos

Player Name: Sir William Covington VHL Team: Davos Cash you have: 3.5 mill Purchase Name: Free Week Cost of Purchase: $3,000,000 Cash Left: 500k

INT-AIRPORT-DAY Sir William Covington III is standing in the waiting area of airport he is talking to the person at the gate and seems to be yelling at them. William Do you fucking know who I am? Employee I don’t care who you are sir, you cannot board the plane. You showed up fifteen minutes before the flight. The flight was over booked so we gave your seat away William How can you over book it? You have an x amount of seats and you sell more? Are you guys that fucked? Employee I don’t know what to say to you sir, we can get you onto a flight at… The employee looks at the computer screen Employee Seven am tomorrow morning William Seven AM? Are you fucking kidding me? I got a hockey game tomorrow I have to get out today Employee This is your only option sir William grabs the employee by his collar William No, it’s not. I will give you the only option which is you fuck head will get the moron who stole my seat and take him off the flight so I can get on it Employee Take your hands off me William Or else what? The employee points at security who surround them Employee They may taze you INT-INTAROGATION ROOM-DAY Security officer What do you think you were doing sir? William Trying to get on the flight that I paid to be on Security officer You gave up your seat showing up so late William Oh shut up The Security officer slams his fist down on the table Security officer You don’t tell me to shut up. I can throw you into jail buddy William Jail? Me? For what? Security officer You put your hands on that gate agent. That could be taken as a threat. You could be treated as a Terrorist William You and I both know that I the rightful king of England am not a terrorist Security officer I happen to be twenty eight point six three percent English and I do not like what you are doing by bringing them to court William looks at the officer oddly William What the fuck? Twenty eight point six three? How in the flying fuck do you know exactly what percent? And how in the holy fuck can you be point six three percent of anything? Or even twenty eight. It’s either you are half something and half other or one hundred percent something. You sir are fucked Security officer It’s a highly convoluted situation. My grandmother was a bit of a busy person. My other one didn’t really have a husband. So I went on my ancestry.com… Why am I telling you this? William Cause your fucked? Security officer No sir! You are! You’re the terrorist William laughs William Terrorist? Me? Hahahahaha no maybe in your dreams but in reality I am a plain king that plays hockey out of boredom for a team that I don’t really want to play for in a city that I hate. Security officer You done? William With what? Security officer Going on a stupid rant William I will say what I want when I want what’s stopping me? You? Security officer throws cuffs at William Security officer Put those on William These are handcuffs buddy. They cannot shut me up. Are you that dumb to believe HAND cuffs are to make someone shut up? They are called hand cuffs for a reason Security officer Shut it and shut it now William No I will not Security officer Put them on and shut up William Ask nicely Security officer NOW! William No way jose Security officer You are wearing my patience thin William Thin like your brain? Security officer I’m going to count to three William Can you? Security officer One William Two Security officer No I count! William Three Security officer Will you stop it? William Four Security officer slams his fist on the table Security officer Two Security officer intensely Security officer Three INT-AIRPORT-DAY Security officer is leading a cuffed William towards a security van but out of nowhere Williams Lawyer Harvey and Putin come out of nowhere Harvey Un cuff that man right this second Security officer And if I don’t? Harvey I will have your fired within seconds. You arrested that man for assault not terrorism. Slap him with a fine and be over with it Security officer I can’t do that I already told the FBI that I caught a Terrorist Harvey No you have not, in fact on the helicopter ride here… which by the way we landed on runway twelve I believe so we are going to need free fuel for my clients troubles. But as I was saying you didn’t even call the police, nor did you call the FBI, CIA or anything like that. You are just trying to scare him. I highly suggest you let him go because you won’t scare him. He will just get more annoying. So I highly suggest you uncuff and back away The Security officer thinks for a second before uncuffing William. Harvey leads William away Harvey I take my eyes off you for a minute and you get arrested for terrorism? William Eh… it was a slow day. Don’t judge me

At the start of the season no one really thought that Sir William Covington III would win the ROTY, hell they didn't even think he would come in the top five in rookie scoring because of his attitude, the team he plays on and mostly they didn't think he was talented enough. He sits 4th in rookie scoring, 2nd in rookie goals but yet no one is even talking about him. He has been one of the shining lights so far for Davos that is expected to have a dark and shitty season. He is widely viewed as the future of the franchise but William is quick to point out that the team and it's fans shouldn't be so quick to put that title on him because he has a player option on next season which if he does not pick up will make him a RFA. He says if he does not pick it up he will not sign with any other team but will not sign in Davos either thus forcing a trade. But that's if things head south in talks. At this moment he claims that he is willing to stay in Davos another season. Beyond that he does not know. "Look I am not a fortune teller, I am focusing on this season focusing on winning the ROTY so I can shove it up a certain someones ass and laugh while doing it. Next season where will I play? who fucking knows. I may not pick up my player option which will force a trade but that's then and this is now. Lets focus on the now and I will worry about the future in the future. Okay? great now fuck off"

Vikings Davos Legion Americans

Cool story

Really catching on with these new lines. 1St star. I'm coming for that ROTY