BluObieZ

Well... I tried

INT-ATU-MORNING As crews are cleaning up the mess and dead bodies Phil and David Jester are sitting in the surprisingly intact conference room with Frank Almedia, Buck Bunkuer and Mail Dude. Buck gets up out of his chair and paces around the room as he looks over at the wall of TV’s that all are off Buck Why are these off? I feel that they should be on and turned to drone footage, special ops head cams and maybe just maybe a respectable news agency Frank I think we are trying to conserve power. We got in trouble last month for using too much. Buck looks out the windows at the devastation inside the ATU offices Buck Something tells me that we won’t be using too much today Phil OMG David looks at Phil David Did you just say OMG instead of oh my god Phil Yeah, I thought it would be cool and quicker than saying oh my god bt having this conversation has made it a waste of time and now… Phil looks at everyone else in the room that now looking at them Phil They are looking at us like we are crazy Buck shakes off the dumb conversation Buck Before we go any further, I must know one thing Frank Which is? Buck points at Mail Dude Buck Who is this man and why is he here?... oh and why is he so quite? It’s a bit suspicious Frank That’s… uh… I don’t know his name but we call him Mail Dude because well… he delivers the mail. Buck Why is he here? Frank He works here Buck Yeah in the building but he has no meaning in this meeting. He should go back to his job and let the big boys figure out how to stop these fucking terrorist Frank Everyone else is dead, there is no one else he can deliver mail to Buck Not my problem, then fire him for not doing his job Frank I cannot do that, besides he was the one that delivered the bomb. I think once he regains the ability to speak he will want to talk to a shrink. You know because a parcel he delivered killed so many people Mail bursts into tears Frank It will be ok Frank taps him on the back as Buck gets mad and slams his fists down onto the table Buck NO IT WILL NOT! Don’t you fools see what’s going on here? Phil and David look at each other in confusion Phil No… we don’t but did he just call us fools? David Yeah, uh huh Phil I think he did. I’m sure he just called us fools Buck SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! JUST SHUT UP! Buck storms around the very long conference room table and grabs Mail Dude Buck This man right here is a terrorist Frank A terrorist? Come on that’s reaching at best Buck Is it? Think about it. The phrase “going postal” is because mail fucks go crazy and kill people. This man delivers a bomb to you guys today and you think oh that’s normal? Don’t you think maybe just maybe he had enough of delivering the mail and taking out the trash… Buck has a flashback of being a trash man but after a few seconds he shakes it off. Buck That he went to a terrorist group and told him that he will deliver a deadly bomb to ATU? Frank First off you cannot just find the number for a terrorist group in the phonebook. The amount of effort it would take to find a group and tell them oh I want to blow up my work and get them to go with it is just insane Buck Insane? You think a terrorist group would turn down a chance to blow up an anti-terrorist organization? Come on, are you that dumb? Frank First off don’t call me dumb, I don’t appreciate that at all. Secondly all I am saying is if we go with this “gone postal” idea we should probably chalk it up to being a lone gunman type thing. He clearly did it because he was disgruntled and mad. Buck Probably is not sure. Do I have permission to interrogate this man with all means necessary? Frank looks around Frank You talking to me? Buck Um… who else? Frank I’m not in charge Buck Then who is? Frank You mean you don’t know who is in charge? Are you an agent? Buck I am, I was deep undercover for years so I wasn’t sure if there was a management change Frank Well Higgins died in the blast… even though we have not found his body. So we need to appoint the new leader of the ATU Buck Well the only way we can do that is through a vote since we are a democratic country and we hold elections. If we stop that then we let terrorist scum like this man (points at Mail Dude) win Frank Ok let’s have a vote INT-WAREHOUSE-MORNING Alec Dwyer is sending a truck off as he is on the phone with someone Alec It’s on its way, they will never see it coming Alec hangs up as Angelo Molholt walks up to him Angelo His plane landed Alec Perfect, he should get her just before everything happens Angelo Meanwhile the idiots at ATU, if anyone survived will never see this coming Alec and Angelo walk into the office and turn on a TV that is on the wall Alec I doubt anyone survived that blast INT-ATU-MORNING Frank is counting the votes as Buck is now pacing around the room while holding Mail Dude in a sleeper hold Frank Okay… the new acting leader at ATU is… where’s the drum roll? Buck looks around Buck What? Who’s that? Frank No I want a drum roll Phil and David make a drum roll on the table with their hands Frank That’s better… anyways the new acting leader is Phil the thrill Jester Buck looks around the room not knowing who is who. He points at David Buck Him? Phil No that’s David Buck Then who the fuck is Phil? Phil I am Phil, Phil is I Buck Can I interrogate this man? Phil No you can’t, that is actually impossible for you to do Buck Are you doubting my interrogation technique? Phil No I’m not, it’s more like he lost the ability to speak from the blast so no matter how many questions you ask him, you will not get any answers Buck Can we get a sign language expert in here? David I’m one Buck Good then come with me and we will get this son of a bitch talking… or signing INT-WAREHOUSE-MORNING Angelo and Alec are watching the news that the headline now reads “Surviving ATU agents hard at work” Angelo What do we do about this? Alec Do we have someone on the inside? Angelo No, he was killed in the blast as far as I know Alec Can we send Ken the cleaner? Angelo Why? So he can help them clean the place up so they can find us? Alec No you buffoon, not the actual cleaner. I am talking about Ken “The Cleaner” Angelo Ah yes, him. Let’s send him there posing as an agent that was on holiday. He will go there and poison him whatever he does best Alec Get a hold of him and get the credentials ready INT-ATU-MORNING David is in the interrogation room trying to teach Mail Dude sign language. While Buck watches from behind one way glass David I can’t do it, it’s literally impossible to teach someone sign language in the span of a few minutes. This isn’t the movies Buck comes on the intercom Buck I am aware what this is and isn’t. I am the highly trained agent here not you David If you were so well trained you would know just how stupid this is Buck Okay… Then get me a pad and pencil or pen or a knife I have an idea INT-WAREHOUSE-MORNING Both Alec and Angelo are on the phone as they pace around the office. They both get off their phone calls at the same time Angelo Ken says he can be at ATU in thirty minutes. Can we have the credentials ready in hardcopy and on their database in that time? Alec Shouldn’t be a problem Angelo Good Alec It is good Angelo I don’t need you confirming that it’s good. You are not my boss Alec Look, I’ve just about had enough of you questioning everything I do. I am the number two so you answer to me. Me saying it is good was just agreeing with you Angelo laughs Angelo Yeah you are a number two Alec Damn right Angelo No, no you are A NUMBER TWO Alec thinks about it Alec God damn it INT-ATU-MORNING Buck storms into the room with Fre who is carrying a briefcase David Who is this? Buck This is special consultant Fre Elmo, but I call him Elmo David laughs a bit David What’s in the briefcase? Hs red fur outfit? The look on Buck’s face turns serious Buck You don’t want to know what’s in that briefcase. Let’s just say Mr. Mail Dude will be talking very soon David Oh so you got like water or medication? That will make his vocal cords work? Buck All you need to know that within the hour we will have all the information that we need. ALL OF IT! Buck slams both fist down on the table and looks intensely at Mail Dude Buck Won’t we Mr. Mail Dude? If that’s really your real name David It’s not Buck Shut up The episode fades to black

Oh we already had one and he ran away

Riga has no chance in catching Davos if Covington has anything to say about it

Things have gotten so bad in Davos that team captain and shitty rookie Kai Roberts are not even speaking. If someone addresses the both of them at the same time they do not even respond. It has gotten to the point that before games Covington shows up thirty min early just so he can get changed before the horrible lackluster rookie even decides to show up. By the time Roberts in the locker room Covington is already on the ice taking a pre-pre game skate. So when the team takes their pre game skate Covington is off the ice and away from Roberts. The two sit on opposite ends of the bench and stay for away from each other on the ice. Covington seen as the best player on the team has a drive to win so he still passes to Roberts but if he screws up by whiffing on the shot, missing the net or even as small as not scoring a goal Covington lets out audible swears and vaguely talks about how bad can someone be. Roberts knows that Covington is talking about him but Covington refuses to acknowledge the existence of Roberts. He even is the first one in the locker room after games. He locks the door forcing the whole team to wait outside while he changes, and boy does he ever take his time with that. Roberts has said "The attitude on the team has really gone down. We might have a good shot at the playoffs this season but the attitude here is grim at best. It's on the team captain to bring us together and have us play more like a team. But he is more determined to distance himself from us and the organization. He is already in UFA mode. He is thinking about where he will play next season. I think we should just release him now and get it over with" Covington was more of an ass about his statement "I know not who you speak of (when asked about Roberts) I am the first one here before games. I am on the ice constantly trying to make myself a better player. It's not my fault some people are ok with being shitty and horrible. Some people when given shit they turn it into gold and others eat it. The reason why I have no idea who you speak of is because I don't notice the little people in life. If he wants me to notice him then maybe he should grow a pair of balls and actually become a good player. But that won't happen because he is homo and he is too busy taking it in the ass at a mile a minute pace" Rumors are that Covington has a time about his stall in the locker room theory is that it's to when he will become a free agent and be off the team. If someone can quit on a team while playing for them Covington has done that and he has done it well.

I'm up for round two if you don't run away

GOAT

Just so Davos management, players and fans do not get their hopes up Sir William Covington III released a statement today to clarify his intentions after this season. With issues with rookie Kai Roberts finally boiling over there was speculation that Covington will opt to test the market. He even threatened to leave the team but he never came out and announced that Davos was not able re-sign him. Till now that is, this is what Covington had to say in a brief statement "After thinking over it long and hard I just want to announce that I will one hundred percent will be testing the market this upcoming offseason. After the fight me and that shit head Kai got into I think it's best for me. I would say it's best for the team but it's a pretty shitty hand that they are getting dealt here. Kai had to open his shit eating mouth and get in my face. But when I got in his face he ran like a little kid. Will this statement start a new argument? probably but I've reached the point where I don't give a shit. As long as it stays out of the LR. Those other boys don't have to see or hear it. So in case you missed it or your ears are fucked. I SIR WILLIAM COVINGTON III WILL BE TESTING FREE AGENCY" No word on if any team will want to pick him up but it's hard to deny that he is a very talented hockey player. If you can keep his ego in check and surround him with people that he does not hate he actually is a very pleasant person to have in the LR. But that's if you line up all your ducks in line. Also if you think you will make a run at him, think about you even talk to him. Covington has said that there are teams out there where he will flat out ignore any and all attempts to contact him. One can assume teams like Stockholm and Seattle are two of those teams. It will be interesting to see what happens. But it sure makes for a interesting offseason heading into S50.

wow... I had 16 shots

All I know since I was the one who relocated the team I found it on Google somehow someway

EXT-SUBURBIA-MORNING The morning dew sparkles in the morning light. Birds chirping and dogs barking can be heard as a garbage truck appears at the end of the street. As it nears a person yelling at the dogs to shut up can be heard. We now see the truck come to a stop at its next house. BUCK BUNKUER (@JardyB10) a mid-20’s pale white male gets off the truck and grabs a garbage can as he walks to the back of the truck. Buck One of these fucking days FRE ELMO (@frescoelmo) grabs another can and follows Buck Fre What? You will what? Become a secret agent? Buck Shut up! And yes I will. They just don’t like how I am a shoot first ask questions last type guy Fre And why would they? If you want answers you can’t kill the guy you are about to question. That makes no sense Buck That’s what they said Fre I would be shocked if they didn’t say that Buck My theory is kill one terrorist in front of his buddies. Then threaten to keep killing one at a time till one talks. You will eventually find that shitty terrorist that does not want to die and get his six or however many virgins in heaven Fre That is the dumbest thing I have heard you say all day and that’s saying a lot Buck And I thought I told you to shut up Buck tosses the garbage can into the back of the truck instead of emptying it. He then presses the button to compact the garbage INT-WAREHOUSE-MORNING A typical warehouse in the morning. Workers standing around drinking coffee while standing in a circle talking. The sound of a truck reversing can be heard as the gate to the loading dock opens. ALEC DWYER (@ADwyer87) a French looking fuck in his mid-20’S appears from the office area and looks at the workers. Alec Hey! Get to fucking work you bunch of lazy fucks Alec walks to the truck and opens the gate. Crates of things can be seen as the workers start grabbing tongue dollies, pump trucks and a fork lift. ANGELO MOLHOLT (@Molholt) a mid-20’s male gets out of the driver seat of the truck and walks to Alec. Angelo Are we still on schedule? Alec glares and Angelo Alec I don’t take orders from you Angelo It wasn’t an order, it was a question Alec Well… of course we are on schedule. I run a tight ship here Angelo Good, because he arrives he expects everything to be ready Alec I know INT-ATU-MORNING PHIL JEESTER (@Phil) a late-20’s ATU agent is sitting at his desk and annoyingly sipping his coffee and saying “mmmmm” after each sip. This annoys his brother David JEESTER (@Knight) who is also a late-20’s ATU agent. David Can you stop that? Phil looks up from his coffee Phil What? David Saying mmmmm with every sip Phil I can’t David Why not? Phil It’s coffee straight from Columbia. It’s… Phil does the Tony Montana voice Phil Very addicting Phil snaps his fingers and a person appears who hands David a coffee. David looks at the man then at Phil before shrugging his shoulders and taking a sip. As he raises his head he cannot help but say “mmmmm” David That is good coffee The guy that people call “mail dude” nears their desks and places a box on it Mail Dude Here you go, you got some type of ticking thing or something David looks at Phil then at the mail dude. Phil looks at David then the box Phil Ok… back away slowly David slowly gets up slowly but then shoves Mail Dude out of his way as he runs off Phil I SAID SLOWLY! Mail dude slowly gets up and looks at Phil Mail Dude Is… that a… bbbbbb…omb? Phil looks at him and doesn’t say anything he just nods as he waves at him to get out of there. Phil reaches into his desk and grabs a knife. He gently cuts an opening into the box and places what appears to be a card inside of it. Phil now gets up calmly and walks away from his desk. He makes sure no one is around before he grabs his phone and opens an app that is literally called “Bomb disposal” He then presses the only button the screen that reads “kaboom” the box explodes in a very small explosion almost like there was no bomb in it. A note that is on fire slowly falls to the floor in front of Phil which reads “Happy birthday, I saw this cuckoo clock in Mozambique and thought of you” Phil stands there with a look of displeasure as David comes up to him and reads the note David It’s your birthday? Happy birthday bro Phil rolls his eyes Phil You’re my brother you should know it’s my birthday David Oh yeah… Awkward silence fills the room David Uh…What was that? Phil What? David You know… that Phil The explosion? David Yeah! That Phil I thought it was a bomb so I disposed of it David Was it? Phil No All of a sudden someone can be heard yelling “BOMB” Phil No it’s not Person No this one’s real. Take a look The person throws the bomb threw the air and in slow motion we see what appears to be dynamite with a timer that reads twenty seconds on it flying through the air. Phil catches it and looks down. He tosses it to David David What are you doing? I don’t want it David tosses it back to Phil who tosses it back to him. They literally toss it back and forth wasting precious seconds. INT-WAREHOUSE-MORNING Alec is sitting in his office as he gets a text on his phone which reads “Distraction is a go” INT-GARBAGE TRUCK-MORNING Buck is driving the garbage truck weaving in and out of traffic like it was a race car Fre Where are you in such a hurry to? Buck I’m off the clock in ten minutes and I don’t want to be in this stinky shitty truck when that happens. I’m going to the range to get more time with the guns. I have a tendency to hit things I shouldn’t Fre Like what? Buck Innocent people Fre Do you at least shoot the bad guys? Buck Sometimes A loud explosion can be heard nearby. Without looking or even blinking Buck does a U-turn smashing through cars that are in his way. Fre holds on for dear life Buck That came from ATU. We need to get there Fre looks on in shock as he looks in the rear-view mirror at the mess of cars that Buck is leaving behind. Fre We? No, no, no let me out Buck Have no time. They need me Fre You are not an agent get that through your fucked up head Buck If you want out then get out but I am not stopping Fre No! You will stop Buck I stop for no one. Tuck and roll buddy tuck and roll Buck plows through a red light INT-WAREHOUSE-MORNING Alec and Angelo are now toasting to something in the warehouse as workers celebrate Alec To a day that this country will never forget Angelo They will never see it coming, they will be too busy at ATU HQ Alec Well that’s an obvious statement I think everyone here knows why they won’t see it coming Angelo You know that you can be an ass at times right? Alec It’s the French Canadian in me INT-ATU-MORNING The ATU office is totally decimated by the explosion. Bodies are laying everywhere. The building is structurally not sound. Phil, David and Mail dude push their way out of a fallen wall without even a scratch. Phil looks around to see no one else survived the explosion that he can see. Phil Good thing we tossed that the other way with seconds left David I’d say. If we didn’t that would have really blown David nudges Mail Dude David Get it? Blown it? Eh? Eh? Mail Dude shrugs then tries to say something but no sounds come out Phil I think he lost his voice David I guess the cat… bomb got his tongue Phil and David high five Phil Good one Just then FRANK ALMEDIA (@Frank) an early 30’s Italian looking guy rushes in. He looks around in shock and horror Frank What in the holy hell happened? Phil Bomb Frank Bomb? How? Why? You couldn’t defuse it? You two are the bomb experts Phil I tossed it to him David I tossed it back Phil And I tossed it back David And I tossed it back Phil And I tossed it back Frank stops them Frank Okay… okay I get it! I get it Phil What do we do now? Frank Did Higgins make it? They look up where Higgin’s office use to be but it’s not there anymore Phil Doubt it David Looks like he went in a blaze of glory Phil and David give each other props Phil Stellar one David As usual Phil I would have gone with Higgins went up in smoke David looks at Phil stone faced David That’s not that great A loud crash breaks up the conversation, the Garbage truck smashes through a few remaining walls and comes to a stop inches from Phil, David and Frank. Buck jumps out of the truck and salutes them Buck Secret Agent Buck Bunkuer reporting for duty Frank looks at him then at David and Phil who carry on making explosion jokes then shrugs Frank Sure why not Buck I was hoping you would say that. What should I do? Frank I don’t know Buck When will you know? Frank doesn’t know how to respond Buck Five?... ten? Maybe fifteen minutes? I get the feeling we should get on this so can make this exciting and fun. Not to mention get those terrorist scum Frank Now, now, now we don’t know if it was terrorist Buck Who is sends a bomb to the anit terrorist unit? Frank thinks as the episode fades to black

Won't be promising after I leave

I agreed with Eagles. Where were you? 3 for Covi none for whatever the fuck is your players name

Debauchery EP8 Thanks to recent arguments I have brought this back. Gonna go back to getting 9 a week.

Yeah just run away bud. Run away scared. Just like Trump will

Sounds like a very magical and homo world you live in

Your world must be a sad little place. Filled will fairy's, pixie dust and Donald Trump being president. All of which does not and will not exist

HAHAHAHA you getting traded. No one will give up a fake sim league puck for you. You sir live in a dream world

I rather rot in free agency then be on a team with you. If teams choose not sign me that's their own idiocy. I will continue compiling points and once they come knocking I will laugh and refuse to sign. Oh and they will come knocking. By next offseason I will be well over 400 TPE and teams trying to win cannot let a ACTIVE player like that sit in UFA. One that get 7 and soon to be 9 TPE a week.

Showing me what? that you are an idiot? too late I already know that. Plus I might be splitting this offseason and signing elsewhere. What better way to show you how epically dumb you are then me leaving via UFA and then we can really see who has the better player. See how you can lead Davos all by yourself. I'm willing to bet a whole seasons salary that you cannot do shit without Covington. I think you just made up my mind bro, you just fucked Davos hard. Because I am going to UFA now just to prove to you that you are shit without Covington. I'm willing to bet that Gooning rather have Covington then your horrible player. Now he has to deal with only you after this season, because you had to open your cock hole mouth. You couldn't just leave my post alone. You could have ignored it like most people do. But NO! you had to say something back. Now we have ruined this post for Gooning. Thanks a lot ass clown

Struggle? you do know that I had a huge lead in points... Oh wait you didn't because if you did you wouldn't have posted that idiotic post

You got those points because of me buddy

Try saying that IF you win the ROTY this season. Which you won't because your player sucks dick. I am PM'ing Gooning right the fuck now telling him to take you off my line. See how well you do without me ass clown. Sorry gooning this experiment has failed. I tried but I can't deal with piece of garbage human being.