BluObieZ

Sniper that can out dangle the king dangler

Orion Slade is known for many things in his life and on the ice. His dominating personality, his strength, his so called superpowers that some people swear he has. But this should not surprise anyone. The Robbie Agency is known for searching for odd balls, great personal stories and people that will dominate on and off the ice. SWC3 probably was the agencies last pure dominant player, and that's not taking away anything the Ko Kane has done in his career. Ko Kane has lived up to his hype and then some, he stuck out a rebuild in Seattle but then was dealt like trash. Ko Kane now enters the last season of his VHL career looking for a cup to close out his career. Robbie has turned his attention to the future already. The agencies last player. Orion Slade. He trusts Ko Kane knows what he has to do to get it done. He is still widely seen as a dominant force on the back end. Orion on the other hand, not much is known about him. Other then his blazing speed, his amazing puck control that would leave you just guessing where he has the puck, his scoring. People have called him the puck whisperer, because the puck seems to change direction in mid flight without hitting anything. Trust us when we say this, he never hits anything with the puck other then the back of net. The final thing that he has is Strength, you think you can hit him and force him off the puck? you can think it all you want but trust me, when you hit him you will bounce off and fall down as he continues to skate. Oh when he hits you, well prepare yourself to feel like a pancake. All these tools will help him to be dominant and the best player the Robbie Agency has ever seen.

Allow myself to uh... Reintroduce Orion Slade. The greatest player not in the VHL, the greatest VHL story ever told. He may or may not be a super hero...? Villain? One thing is for certain is that he will be Robbie Agencies last ever player and will be the greatest player to play for them. Now I will not go over his backstory because for that you can read his Bio and Rookie Profile that I posted like a half year ago? I don't fucking know. Consider this a more of a refresher course that he is coming. But what does that mean? where will he play? will he be loyal? All good questions. It means that as of Dec 24th I will be no longer working towards another player beyond him. I will be focused on making great and that't that. He is the Christmas Present the league gets to open a whole day early. You can literally thank me now. Go ahead. I'll wait. Where will he play? the teams that the best shot at winning the cup. Sadly I am not the Vegas GM this time around like how I would have liked it, because I would have destroyed the VHLM yet again. But I doubt he ends up in Vegas because they don't seem like the team to beat this season. But once again I ignore many things so I can be wrong. Beyond the VHLM he will have the same attitude cups a plenty will be his motto. But I will not go into that grand plan just yet because that's something I feel like unveiling when his VHL draft nears. For now I will let teams salivate over maybe drafting him. Let them think they can keep him beyond a rookie contract that may or may not have a player option on the 2nd season. For now just enjoy the wild ride. Oh and this isn't the only thing for the first day of Orion. Because this is a bit lackluster for a hype piece

Meh S65 Draft will have Slade

Buying this for Ko Kanes last season. S64. Please update him before player depreciation Player Name: Ko KaneVHL Team: Toronto Legion Cash you have: $23,000,000Purchase Name: Experience Points (10 points) Old But Not Forgotten Cost of Purchase: $15,000,000 Cash Left: $8,000,000

Hmmm

Well look at that Ko Kane’s 2nd last season is basically done. While I do enjoy my time with him, I am looking forward to my last player ever Orion Slade. So much so that I will be ramping up my hyping of him in the coming weeks. As soon as I am able to retire Ko Kane and have him play next season, I will and boom Orion will drop faster then your mom on your dads cock. The age of Orion begins now. Sure he is not a player as of right now, I know that but the playoffs are starting… or have started by now. Not that I care. This whole offseason should give me about what two maybe three more weeks of PT’s for Ko Kane. I have kind of slowed down with him this season due to me being busy and me generally bored with the site. He sadly will not hit 800TPE but he will come damn fucking close. Ko Kane you were not my favorite player but we sure had our fun bud. You tried your best to bring the gold back yet again to USA but since my GM reign was ended so was the USA gold medal reign. You got your fucking cup and I hoped you would get one this season... but that kinda failed unless we make a crazy run but I doubt that. One last thing I can look forward to and the rest of the league can look forward to is Ko Kane’s only Free Agency fuckery. I will not be picking up my option for next season so I will be headed to free agency. Obviously a player on his last season will not be the player people spend the most money on, I am not looking for a ton of money. I am looking for a cup. So it will be interesting how this fuckery plays out. Closing the Ko Kane chapter and opening the Orion Slade chapter will be the last time ever I will be retiring and recreating. The last time people can look forward to what kind of shit I come up with for my next player. Hell people already know what to expect with Orion. His Bio, Player profile and a ton of other shit has been posted for months in advance. Why? Because I fucking can! And plus I was allowed to. Yes, you read that right. Even Robbie Zimmers asks for permission from time to time. In closing, enjoy this last few months of Robbie Zimmers. You will never see someone like me around here ever again. That can be viewed positively or negatively. I really can’t give a fuck less about whichever it is. Like me, hate me, put up with me you will still miss my antics even if you will not admit it. Entertainment comes in different forms and I am a fucking rough around the edges type guy. If I rubbed you the wrong way, GOOD!

We will make them skate the other way

If you think this will be informative in depth look on the VIKING brand then you are sadly fucking right. Nah you are wrong but wanted to lead you into a false sense of hope and wonderment? I don’t fucking know. Anyways… Viking is the best of the best, everyone knows if they want to win the tournament they will have to go through Viking. Am I saying this because I have a player on Viking? Sure maybe that is partly the reason. But just look at their fucking roster. Starting at D you Malenko and Kane the tournaments best duo by far. If you think that you will blow past these two guy, then you must be on blow because these guy shut down people for breakfast and make teams cry for an afternoon snack. Kane might be in his 2nd last season in the VHL and you would think that he would slow down but you would sadly be wrong if you thought such foolish things. Kane the king of defense can make you cry by hitting you, taking the puck away or those things combined with scoring goals. Kane’s partner in crime (pun intened) is no slouch and can hurt you just as much as Kane. Some might even argue that he can hurt you more. Louth, Smirnov, Harding and the rest of the forwards just make you look at them and think “well… damn how will we shut them down? The answer is harder to come to then you would think because how in the bloody hell do you shut down this offense, get past that D and maybe score? It’s a mind blowing task that will baffle other teams. They will not have enough time to figure them out and they will be left in the dust while these boys skate past them and score on their shitty little goalie. Speaking of goalie Sterling is the beast of the fucking best in the tournament world and sure you can be like fuck you Robbie you have no idea what you are talking about because my goalie or our goalie is the best. Well you know what? You can eat your own ass and you will see in the tournament who is right. Trust me when I say this. You will be wrong and you will be left thinking damn Robbie was fucking right. I tend to leave morons in the dust like that because come on, I am an asshole and I make wild predictions and I tend to be right. I went FA hopping just for fun and I kept getting cups so when I say Viking is the best I mean they are the best. You can try to deny it and hope that I am wrong but that would be foolish of you to think I am wrong about this. The other people picking Viking could be wrong, its statistically possible but me being wrong is not. I am right even when I am wrong.

Howdy people welcome to another edition of Robbie Stories. I know, I know that I have to make it somewhat league related. So last week I was explaining why I was not around for a few weeks. Not that this is a job and had to give an explanation. But anyways todays good ole Robbie Story is something I remember from a long time ago. Season wise. I will not use usernames or not of that because well I don’t know some of these clowns names now and such nor do I care enough to know them. Sure I can say “bob” and such but I like this whole secrecy thing I’ve built up here so I will run with it. Many moons ago I was trolling the website hard, and I mean fucking hard. I was following certain around the site posting where ever they would post and just being a general assholic nuisance when BING! In came a personal message. I didn’t even look at it, thinking it was one of the people that I was pissing off. So I kept at it, having a shit ton of fun. Next thing I knew BING! Another fucking message followed by another one with another. Now I am sitting there thinking is this cocksucker going to message me a million fucking times in private to annoy me? I could just log off and call it a day… or message back and start an all-out fuckery war. Now if you know me correctly then you I never backed down from a fuckery war because I was the king of them. So as the 4th message came in I clicked on my messages and saw it was coming from a dick weasel that I never had a run in with before. Hell he seemed like a nice enough guy. He was trying to be “annoying” by messaging me a whole bunch of nothing. “HHJHGUGFHSDKJHGI” and so on. So as the 5th message came in I responded by saying “what are you trying to achieve here?” which he responded “trying to piss you off” to which I said “gotta try harder than that, all you are doing is sending nonsensical messages which just have me thinking you are insane or don’t know how to type” then he went off saying that I was an asshole and deserved this treatment and so on. I was like um what treatment exactly? All you are doing is taking time out of your life to make no sense at all which has me concerned that I may have broken you. He said he quit because apparently there was no reasoning with me. Because you know jhjkhguykj was him trying to reason with me. He left me with I’ll get you back fucker. I shrugged it off and logged off for a few days because my fuckery was done. I come on days later to… oh about 30 messages and that’s a conservative estimate. From about 15 members. I guess idiot 1 had a bunch of accounts or had a band of idiots to message me. So I waged all-out war of the army of idiots. It was fun because they would all say the same things. Almost like they were going off a script or some shit. It was funny. I would just copy and past my responses 15 times. Wait and do it all over. I was legit having the same convo 15 times. Then apparently one moron didn’t like one thing I said and said he will complain and get me banned. So I wait, and wait some more. The messages stop coming. Then BING after BING some more. I think I have to fend off more idiocy but no this time it’s from people around the league telling me to “calm down” and leave idiots alone. I was like I am calm, this is fun to me if I was slightly mad I’d bring it onto the main forum not private messages. One respected member even told me he was messaging me out of concern because he can see what he called “World War Robbie” breakout that he said that I would end up being banned, people quitting and the site shutting down. I laughed it off and told him that scenario is nowhere close to happening. I literally still was very confused by the band of idiot’s actions and messages. Didn’t really know what they really wanted out of this. To say I was mad would have been an overstatement. I was confused at most. Then lastly I got a message from someone higher up telling me to calm down or I maybe banned for a week and get another in game suspension. I said I would send him the convo I had with the main idiot. He told me not to call the guy an idiot and he wanted all convos with everyone. I told him that it’s the same convo time 15. He still wanted it. So I took screen shots and sent them off. Within maybe 5min? I got a response back simply saying “As you were Robbie” basically seeing that they were idiots and I was just fucking around. World War Robbie apparently avoided even though my missiles weren’t even activated.

Omg 1 free tpe. Hold me back.

So… I am sure you have noticed my absence around the league. Even if you don’t want to admit it, but when I go away you wonder where the entertainment, assholic ego…ness went. Well, I am about to tell you one epic fucking story that will make your head spin. So, about 3 weeks ago I was at work, I was tired and bored. It was a very boring day of inserts and the actor just couldn’t hit their fucking mark. To the point I put my walkie down and told my AD to tell me when they finish the shot right. They asked me how they will tell me if my walkie is not me. I told her to figure it out. When I get pissed I just walk away and just need to get away from what is pissing me off. They went another 45min with the very same shot. I told them to turn around and do it on a reverse. An hour later it was fucking lunch. I told people to leave me alone while I eat. Well guess what the actor does, he comes to me and apologizes. I told him kindly go eat elsewhere and he was like “no I want to pick your brain about the next scene” I told him now was not the time. Long story short the day was not fun for me. I love every day in the industry but I had a ton of things on my mind and I did not want to listen to another shitty actor telling me sorry for being shitty. That weekend I took my wife and my kids to our cottage to get away. But my cottage neighbour wanted to be annoying by doing fall cleaning or whatever. He started cutting dead trees down at 7am. I was over there at 7:05 telling him to please wait till 10. Normally I and he get along but he thought it was unreasonable. I told him I will show him what unreasonable was. So I proceeded to turn on every engine in my driveway and pointed the exhaust towards his cottage. It was 3 cars, 2 boats, 3 generators. This didn’t do much other than slightly annoy him. So I got on my ATV and started to rip around my property, which only tore up my ground. So I decided to “clean up” by tossing branches and shit onto his property. My wife told me to stop because I was acting like a fool. My son loved it and egged me on. But not because he is like me but only because anything “silly” I do he loves. After a weekend of no relaxation I went back to work. I was fine till… maybe Thursday. That’s when I Snapped at a PA for screwing up the sides for the day. I turned to my 1st and gave him all my notes for the next two days and left. I had no intention of finishing the week. I got home and washed my cars… oh about +5 my wife thought I lost it. Which I may have because I yelled at random dog that was barking for no reason. I normally love dogs. That night I put my kids to bed, had rough sex with my wife and went out with my friend Ryan for drinks because I needed it. I honestly don’t remember what happened that night so don’t ask me. All I know is that I woke up in a comfortable chair in a lobby of a hotel in VARADERO CUBA!!! Apparently in the hours I was out I decided to go to Cuba with a few friends. Something me and Ryan used to, just to get trashed and have fun. My phone rang and it was my wife. At first she was furious that I was in Cuba, but then she said I probably needed to get away before I lose it on more people. In Cuba, we drank to the point they tried to lock us in our rooms, so I bribed them to fuck off. Literally that’s what I said. It took maybe 5 cuc which is nothing. We found a fucking cave with nothing inside, so we proceeded to have a party in it till the tide came in and Ryan almost drowned. Which is all on GoPro footage. The MC/Host at the show at night the resort was truly horrible so I got up and took the mic from him and hosted the show. Well till he tried taking it back from me. I tossed like 20 cuc at him and told him to sit the fuck down on the mic. We went on a “tour” of Havana but the tour guide didn’t let us see shit all, only showed us shops where her “friends” worked since I assumed she got some off the sales. I told her to fuck off and started my own tour. I offered to pay for everyone’s bus back to Varadero. So a loud drunk group us went around Havana till the police came and told us it’s either we leave the city or we get arrested. For once we actually picked the smart choice and left. I am sure my wife would have flipped if I was arrested in a communist country. The last few days were just heavy drinking. We didn’t even sleep on our last night and remember taking a bottle with me on the bus to the airport. Now here the fuck I am. Back. Looking forward to going back to work tomorrow

USA's gold medal reign is over. Damn.

Good to see USA forsure medaling again. Too bad it's not Team Fuck You

Didn't read it. Give me a summary. Also don't say sorry. It's a online league.

So Ko Kane is no longer on Davos, he has been traded. The Kane era is over in Davos and fans don’t know what to think of it. The locker room will never be the same, his stall is empty and his name plate has been removed. The player that was there since he was drafted now is on Toronto. Seeking another cup. Will he get one? Who really knows right now. It is too early to tell if Toronto can compete with some of the heavy hitters in the league. As for Ko Kane he moves into unfamiliar territory. New team, new locker room and new fans. The soon to be retiring D-man is known for his hardnosed brand of playing, is said to be looking to see how the season plays out before deciding on if he will pick up his player option or not. If does not then he would entire his last free agency. This time it would be intentional, not like last time where he and Davos forgot about the option. With all these changes, Ko Kane is also in discussions with a few brands to sign on with them and become the face of their brands. There is no saying which brands he is in talks with but with his agents close ties with Fong the man behind VIKING the logical pick would be them but who knows. Maybe Fong thinks Kane is too old and does not want to sign a player who is that close to leaving the VHL. Maybe they are talking about Orion the next and last player for the Robbie Agency. Lots of speculation going on in the league because with the introduction of the brands they will be looking to sign marque players first which leaves the soon to be retiring Kane in the second group of people that the Brands will consider signing. This all could be one big bluff by Kane and Robbie to draw up some Brand offers. We will have to wait and see next week if it truly was a bluff. There is no telling what Ko Kane’s second last season will be like but right now at least he is on a team that will be competitive and maybe aiming for a cup run. That is all he asked for when Davos approached him if he would be open to a sign and trade. Ko Kane re-signed in Davos so they could get something for him. They got a plethora of picks in exchange for Kane and a few other players. Helping kick start their rebuild. Sure Ko Kane would love to finish his career with two more cups but something tells me he will be happy with one more, this season he seems to be going with the flow. Seeing how everything goes, if Toronto can pull off a cup with it will be a “happy accident” because going into Toronto Ko Kane has no idea what to expect. We like him will just have to wait and see.

I do waive. Tough to leave Davos. But they need the picks not aging D. Thanks @Tyler

So sad that I wasn't brought back to GM for a 3rd time in a row to get a 3rd Gold in a row. Team fuck you is dead

Ko Kane’s days maybe numbered in Davos, with the team looking to probably rebuild they have resigned their star defenseman with the probable intention to trade him for assets. If and when the deal goes down he may go down as a Davos legend. Greatest D to play for the team? No but a legend. He has stuck around with the team through thick and thin. The team sucked in the early years which lead people to believe he would probably force his way out. Well he stayed with the team. The team awarded his loyalty with naming him the captain and since then the team took off. The team started seeing results on the ice. Finals appearances which finished with the team winning a cup and Kane hoisting the cup above his head as the Davos fans going crazy. Something not all Davos greats can say they did. Sure the team have had some real good teams but not all of them won the cup. Not all the great players on those great teams finished with cups on those teams. It’s not their fault, but it’s just a stat that is a fact. Ko Kane bringing the cup home to Davos fulfilled his promise that he will stick it out with the team till they won the cup. He knew that they would win and they did. Now that their last season is done with no cup the team most likely will be sellers and looking at a rebuild. Actually can be a possible landing spot for Orion Slade. If and when a trade happens Ko Kane will have to waive his NTC which I am sure he will not waive for just any team. He controls his fate and maybe will just opt to not waive it at all. He may just want to retire as a member of Davos even though that would mean that he will not get another cup. Which I am sure he would love to get another one before he retires. He can actually get another two matching SWC3’s cup haul. That’s if he becomes greedy and goes cup hunting. We right now have no idea what he is planning and how he intends to handle a potential trade. Ko Kane knows that he does not have much time left in the VHL and that he staying with Davos would be viewed as a form of respect for the team that he won the cup with and the team that he stuck it out with. But he also knows that the team and the fans would understand if he would hunt for more cups and a bigger payday. He does have a player option on the 2nd year of his contract which would be his last in the league. This may all be an epic setup for one last free agency fuckery and to hop onto one good team this season to another good one for his last season. He may actually be setup pretty well to win another one if not two cups before he hangs up his skates in the VHL. We will just have to wait and see how this all plays out.