Garsh

gg Davos

woooo

'ere we go

Malmo, more like Malgo home early from playoffs. #gotem (gg)

Helsinki makes it, Prague doesn't

Some "The brain is the most important organ according to the brain" vibes

Breaking news from the office of Sauli Niinistö, President of Finland. Jesse Teno ( @aimkin ) has been barred from entering the country of Finland effective immediately. Teno, for those unaware, is the goalie for the London United and a goddamn Moscow menace to society. In the 5 games against the Titans this season Teno has posted a .9699 stopping 161 of 166 shots against. They are leading the league (among starters) with a .941. This is baffling for the Titans faithful as the Titans are a good team this season, sitting 6th in the overall standings and 5th in goals scored. Mercifully for the Titans they only have 1 regular season game left against the United. Conveniently for the United it's a home game for them so they will have their star goaltender. What’s vexing for Helsinki is that the team had success against Teno last offseason. Sure they lost the series but had games where they put up 5 and 6 goals on them. We will have to see what happens if the teams end up facing each other in the playoffs, Teno may have to wear some Groucho glasses and a jersey that says “Definitely Not Jesse Teno” in order to sneak into the country. (stats because I have them so might as well post them) game saves shots % 10 21 22 95.45% 43 30 30 100.00% 89 42 43 97.67% 259 30 32 93.75% 266 38 39 97.44% total 161 166 96.99% (205 words not including the stats)

1. Halfway through the season, how is the team doing so far in your opinion? We are doing ok, I think we are a little inconsistent and struggling a bit against the very best teams. 2. Any changes you want to see for the second half? It would probably be good to play with lines a little bit to see if we find something that works better. 3. Is your player performing as expected? Yeah, as always I would love to be point per game, but I am leading the team in shot blocks and 4th in points, so in comparison to the team I am doing well I think. 4. Concession sales are down, what are you introducing to the menu to bring in the crowd? Titan Burger - a brat burger with the fixings that you want. A brat burger is obviously more premium than a regular burger so we can charge more. 5. What is the team's mascot and what is its name? Tursas. He's actually just 3 guys in an old traditional Finland outfit (whatever that is I'm not sure). 6. I like cereal. Sometimes I eat it as dessert after supper. Are you a fan of cereal or are you a ‘full on meal for breakfast’ type? I like cereal but I don't usually buy it. I tend to do overnight oats on my in office days and some sort of breakfast sandwich on my days home.

Thanks for having faith in me to figure it out

Can I have an automated program click the pension and practice facility buttons?

1. What sport doesn't have a sim league that you would like to see? Hard to say since I'm not sure what all leagues are out there. Maybe a golf sim league! 2. What kind of car does your player drive now that they are getting them big league pay cheques? I don't need anything to crazy, probably a comfy 4 door sedan. 3. If you had your own YouTube channel what would it be about? I guess it would just be about video game stuff, one of the billions of channels about someone playing games. 4. What name would you give our backup goalie and why? Goalie McGoalie Face. 5. What stat is missing from the VHL sims that you would like to see? Number of nachos sold at each game. 6. What kind of thing would you like to see implemented to celebrate the championship teams more? If you have ever played Smash Bros then you know after the match all the losers have to sit there and clap for the winner, we should implement that into the VHL somehow.

1. 5 way tie for first in Europe! Is it going to stay this tight all season? I think some gaps will form but should be a competitive in the EU. 2. The team logo needs a refresh, what would be the main focus of the new logo? I don't know, the logo doesn't scream Titan to me, but I'm not sure what exactly does. 3. Your player has an off-season job because of the economy, what do they do? I will just collect welfare, just like in the VHL. 4. If you could choose any animal as your spirit animal to guide you on the ice, which animal would it be, and how would it affect your playing style? Penguin. Everyone loves penguins and they are secretly very tough and deadly. Just like me?? 5. The VHL is going to introduce player abilities like the NHL games but they aren’t the typical abilities, they are powers. What power does your player get and how does it work? Strick throw. You throw your stick to hit people and then they fall over. That's the entire ability. 6. Last winter I slipped on ice coming down the driveway after taking out the trash. I was using the tiny shuffles method to come down the driveway and it failed me. What is your “no fall method” when walking on ice? I take baby steps and shuffles, maybe just be better at not falling over. That would be my advice.

1. I am your new AGM. What do you think? *Spins around slowly with arms out for some reason. I am looking forward to it, especially if you do pressers on the regular! We have been on teams together in the past and it has been a good time. 2. What do you think about the off-season moves the team has made? I think its been good, adding a big name to the team is always exciting. 3. The VHL draft stream seems to have lost a bit of excitement. How would you spruce it up for everyone? I'm not sure, I tend to only watch at most the first round. They can go on too long on occasion though. 4. Who in the league have you not played with that you would like to? On my 3rd player its getting a little harder to remember who I have played with and who I haven't, but I'm pretty sure I have never played with @Renomitsu. 5. I need help moving my couch, give me your best excuse to avoid helping me. I have ankylosing spondylitis, which is basically spine arthritis. 6. What is your favourite movie monster? Doesn't have to be any of the classics. I'm not a big horror movie person, but in terms of monsters in general I love Godzilla.

How does it feel to be swimming in a sea of wrongness?

1. We are in 3rd place and it looks like that's where we will finish. Are you happy with that looking back at the season? I am very happy for you, hope you all can make some noise in the playoffs. 2. There is a chance that Rome and Vasteras swap positions in the standings. Do you have a preference for which team to matchup against in the playoffs? I'm not to familiar with how the matchups have gone for the Watchmen this season, but I hope you play the favorable matchup. 3. What is your favourite way to relax after a game? A nice hot shower to relax and reflect on the game. 4. What do you think is the most important quality to be a good GM in the league? Being a presence for your team and being approachable. 5. What is your favourite board game of all time? I love Kingsburg, its a game where you are a Lord and you are competing against other Lords, for the Kings favor. It takes place over 5 years and after each Spring/Summer/Fall you go to court which is the best part of the game. 6. What do you think is the most amount of costco hot dogs you can eat in one sitting? I don't know, maybe like 3 or 4 if i really hated myself and tried.

I'm not sure for a single book, but I have read several omnibuses, most of which were over 1000 pages, the longest probably being Paths of Darkness which was 1184 pages according to good reads https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62482.Paths_of_Darkness_Collector_s_Edition Not sure if it counts since its multiple books put together but i did carry these around in HS with my textbooks to read when I had time

1. If you were Bratislava GM, which area of the team would you look to strengthen in a trade, and why? I think you are all perfect as is. 2. There has been basically no trade activity around the league, why do you think that is? In the E specifically, I think there is just not much movement in general. In the VHL, I think some teams made their moves earlier in the season (see Helsinki/Moscow). 3. For those of you that have been VHL drafted, which team will you be graduating to, and are you excited? For the moths that haven't been drafted, do you have a preference or any hopes for the eventual VHL draft? I was drafted to Helsinki, and we are not doing as well as we would have hoped but we are having a good time. 4. Are you at all interested in becoming a GM in one of the leagues? Or have you had past GM experience? No thanks, I don't think I would be a good GM. 5. Can you recommend me an awesome band that I've probably never heard of? Do you know about Ad Infinitum? I love Ad Infinitum. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POwK89M7PH8 6. If you were in charge of taking the team out to dinner, what kind of restaurant are you taking us to? I will take you all to my favorite local family owned pizza place.

Oh we can't name players after rainbows now?? This league is so fucking soft

thank you friend

1. The team has been one of many streaks this season, our most recent being four losses. What do we need to do to turn that around? I would suggest scoring more goals, letting fewer goals in and just in general playing better hockey. Please pass this feedback to rory. 2. Which team's position in the standings (could be any one of the three leagues) are you most surprised about this season, and why? Helsinki, I think we are one of those teams where on paper you go "hey these guys are pretty good" but we are apparently not very good actually. 3. Having gone through half a season so far, do you think the contraction to six teams was a positive change? Yeah I think the league looks to be in a more competitive place now. 4. Who would be your early pick for MVP of bratislava so far, and why? I will echo the goalie tandem keeping the team in a competitive spot. 5. Do you have anything special in your locker in the dressing room besides hockey equipment? Nope, i keep it simple and clean. 6. Which city that hasn't seen a franchise among all of the VHL leagues would you like to see get a team? Not sure I care enough about a city to be like "hey this place should get a team" but i guess something like St Louis maybe?

1. We are about 1/3rd of the way into the season. Is your player performing how you expected them to? A little below expectations, I thought for sure this would end up being a point per game season, but currently coming up short on that. 2. Our goaler Jonny Elgar leads the league in save percentage and goals against. How important is an elite goaltender to the team's success? I think a great goalie is huge for a team. No other one person can take over a game the way they can. 3. If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why? I don't know, maybe a corgi? Everyone loves corgis. 4. If you were stuck at burning man, what lengths would you go to to survive? All of the lengths, I am getting the heck out of their. 5. Are you a beach and ocean type person, or more of a woods and lake type person? I would describe myself as more of a woods and lake person. 6. What is your favourite nostalgic media to consume? Probably like old youtube videos from an earlier part of life.