Hey man.
I honestly don't quite know how to articulate my response to this. I feel like this very feeling has been wafting over my head for sadly years now. All of the terrible things that have happened in the past few years have overshadowed the good by quite a large margin. I am in the almost reverse position of you, being one of two kids to increasingly overworked parents who manage to cart me and my brother to all of our various sporting events and things we want to do. The tension has been pretty high recently, with some arguments between my argumentative and stubborn yet goofy younger brother (who is at fault yet doesn't admit it) and my dad, which has made the house seem quieter yet louder at the same time. However, I can't really complain compared to the 29 people and their families whose lives have been lost performing basic tasks necessary to life. Its been a long, long time since I've felt so unsafe yet so safe at the same time, with people in my city being shot by a racist scum of the earth man and then the place i spend my most time, a school, with innocent, harmless little 10 year olds being shot on the other side of the country, have combined to really make me feel uneasy recently. However, there is still so much good in communities and many individual people that it's hard for me to entirely lose hope even though everything seems hopeless. The community over on Jefferson and the East Side bonding together in the wake of the massacre, schoolteachers offering support and help to anyone who needs it, and on a personal level for me a burgeoning love life and a stranger on discord actually making me smile with their kind words (first is much more important but still). Life sucks. But there's always something small that brings a little light into everything.