Daniel Janser

not enough boobs?

Well let's be thourough then: Coeur D'Alene is French (meaning 'Alene's Heart' and I do not dare to explore why it bears that name) so let's name it 'Coeur D'Alene Pommes de Terre' however this seems rather lenghty, so I would suggest to use the more colloquial term 'Coeur D'Alene Patate'... And since a lot of non-French speakers cannot deal with a silent e, it will sound a lot like 'paytaytee'

@Ricer13 @tinafrombobsburgers

Ah I thought you were referring to real life Vancouver in real life 80-82... duh, me

What about the Idaho Tatters? Isn't the potatoe THE staple of the Idaho economy?

this one flies straight over my head, can you elaborate?

Toronto 67's anyone?

the sponsored team car is a white Ford Bronco, I guess

Between Switzerland and Austria... so you are the one resident they have, I assume? Which means you must be Fürst Hans-Adam II. (oh shit I accidentally doxxed Grape)

The Halifoxes... Foxes as a mascot are underrated imo. Everyone is drumming about Wolves and Bears and Lions... whereas these cunning fellows have adapted to city lifestyle without breaking pace.

Zurich has actually two teams in the top league. One are the ZSC Lions and the other one is EHC Kloten (Flyers) (located in the town where the airport is). There are also the GCK Lions, the Farmteam of ZSC, which plays in the second highest league. That reminds me when I was young and looked at the Premier League and thought: 'Why does London not have a club in the top flight?' I only learnt years later that Wimbledon, Tottenham, Chelsea, QPR, Arsenal, Millwall, Fulham and Crystal Palace (and I am sure I forgot some) are all located in London (or its suburbs)...

Dude I just got some GTA Vice City flashbacks

Not a bad idea. We had a VHLM franchise called the Bern Royals (now the Las Vegas Aces). Which is ironic, as Switzerland has a history of shoo-ing royals out of its country ;). I may have chosen 'London Monarchs' instead in remembrance of the inaugural winner of the World Bowl of the same name.

On the shoulder pads, did you do a Celtic knot and Claymores? That is sick dude. And I read 'Hero' first instead of 'Herd' but I think that is a me problem.

Hey at least it is not a 7th round pick

Rome apparently building a new band to compete in the ESC...

Hmm with the Windy City Locomotives, the Cologne Express and the Halifax Steamrollers this would be at least the fourth Franchise with a steam powered locomotive as their logo. Seems people here are either nostalgic or steam punk afficionados (neither of which is a bad thing, I just observed it). Why not the 'Tokyo Bullet Trains' for arriving in the 21st Century?

You clearly missed the Geneva Rush (ex Yukon) in the VHLE, then

you mean the franchise who is not tied to a city?

Coyotes are canine though... but I guess it is as good a reason as any... Hmm looks like Amboy was the real life reference of the town Radiator Springs in the Cars cartoon. BTW I share your enthusiasm for geography and every now and then (once in a blue moon) I use it to baffle my audience (or maybe they just think 'Only a nerd would know this'), but frankly I do not care...

I swear I expected the Kennbunkport Presidents

Janser was jogging in the Central Park alongside his roomie, Rin Kagamine. As they were considering to take a swim afterwards, Callum had his backpack with him with the swim trunks and all the other necessities for such an endeavour. When the two Americans backs approached the final stretch, the hulking Swiss heard a cry of distress from a nearby path. From the sound of it, it appeared to be an elderly lady. So he swerved to his right to see what the ruckus was about. There was indeed an elderly lady staring up a tall tree. 'You cried for help, ma'am. How can we be of assistance?' 'Oh finally someone coming to the rescue. What a fine young man you are. Clarice got scared by a big dog and climbed that tree. I cannot climb it, I am too frail to do so.' 'Not a problem, ma'am. Is Clarice your grand-daughter?' 'No, Clarice is my Maine-Coon kitten. We were taking a walk in the park. I had her on the leash but once she saw the Rottweiler, she wiggled out of her collar and raced up the tree.' 'I understand.' Callum but his backpack on the front so he could contain the kitten once he reached her. He climbed the tree with no apparent effort, being used to climb the Swiss mountains with little to no protrusion, climbing an elm tree was a walk in the park. He lured the kitten with some of the treats her owner provided him with and the scaredy kitty-cat approached him cautiously. Dangling from a branch on one arm, Janser snatched the fugitive and put her into his back pack, closing the zipper so only the head of the pet stuck out. He descended like the seasoned climber that he is and brought the kitten back to the lady waiting impatiently. 'Oh thank you sir. How can I ever thank you for bringing her back to me.' 'Ma'am, no thanks are needed. It was a pleasure to climb again. Take care of your little rascal.' 'I will. Thanks again.'

that was quick

A case could be made that New York is in need of a rebrand to lose the stench of mediocrity and the longest cup draught in recorded history. And one would not be wrong. I am a loyal member/player, but I must admit that the Americans could use a new logo, as the existing one is kind of bland. However, this is article is not about the Empire State franchise, this is about my real life nemesis: Davos. Don't get me wrong: I have nothing against the VHL franchise located in the Swiss Eastern Alps. In fact, I am proud that a Swiss team exists in the VHL and Davos, due to its record championships as well as the Spengler Cup is the obvious choice. So why shit on them? Because the sound of Davos alone is enough to grind my gears being a supporter of the much superior EV Zug. While the Davos Dynamo has a certain appeal with its alliteration, the suffix 'Dynamo' was traditionally used in the Eastern Hemisphere during the cold war era I grew up in. Names like Dynamo Dresden (GDR), Dynamo Kiev, Dynamo Moscow and Dynamo Riga (all former USSR, now Ukraine, Russia and Latvia respectively) were the poster clubs of the Warsaw Pact states in Football and Hockey respectively and the bane of the clubs hosted in the self proclaimed 'free world'. Therefore, the combination 'Dynamo' with any Swiss club sounds wrong. Especially, since we were the odd one out, being close to the border of the two power blocks at the time, and continously fearing for our freedom and independence. So I would suggest to relocate Davos to Zug. The latter is not at the brink of Switzerland, but smack in the middle and is arguably more international, due to many global companies having their headquarters in said city. I will admit it has not the same glamour as Davos with its WEF and the high society spending their ski holidays there. On the other hand it is a trading hub and a fair share of ressources (metals and oil chief amongst them) are going through Zug (mostly on paper and not in physical form). City of Zug at sunset Now I was thinking of using Bulls as the new logo as Zug used to be a well known cattle market. But this business has been overshadowed by the aforementioned trading companies. So we could use the name Oilers and keep the logo as it is. The mountains are so typically Swiss that they fit any location in my home country. And whether it is a non-existing dynamo (a widget to transfer kinetic energy into electrical one) or non-existent oil that is represented by the mountain, does not really matter. I even think we should keep the colour, as blue and white (the Zug coat of arms hues) are too common place and purple is a welcome change. It certainly is not my favourite shade of the rainbow, but I am willing to accept this. So there it is, my suggestion for a rebranding and now I am going to buggy on out before Ahma locates my whereabouts and sends me an angry letter.