JardyB10

Hey there @rourke! Welcome to the league. My name is Jardy, and I’m the Assistant General Manager of the VHLM's Halifax 21st. We're far from the strongest team in the league, and we're currently in a tight playoff race, but we would love it if you could join us and help the cause! First off, regardless of who you sign with, your first contract here will be standardized. That is, you'll be paid $1.5M to play the remainder of the regular season (which is 6-8 games, ending around Monday) and playoffs should you make it. If you join Halifax, we can offer you 3rd pairing minutes, and that aforementioned shot at making playoffs. We have a wonderful group of people on our team who would all be happy to help you with your VHL experience, and set you on the path to becoming a top prospect in your draft! So if you'd like to sign with us, just quote this post with your acceptance, and I'll send you a contract offer and some additional information as soon as I can.

Welcome back @Spartacus! My name is Jardy, and I’m the Assistant General Manager of the Halifax 21st. Our team is delicately balancing on the playoff bubble, and we’d love it if you joined us to help make that happen. We can offer you 3rd pairing minutes, and a wonderful group of people you can interact and grow with. I should well be sleeping right now so I’ll leave this pitch at that. If you’d like to join the team, just quote this post with an acceptance message of some kind, and I myself or actual GM @samx can send you and offer and a DM with additional information as soon as we can!

Welcome @Kimar! My name is Jardy, and I’m the assistant General Manager of the VHLM’s Halifax 21st. Currently, I’m very patiently waiting to get my eye stitched up, and while doing so I would like to offer for you to play for our team! There is only about one week left in the regular season, and we may or may not make playoffs (heavily depending on how today’s games go), and we just have room on the 4th line right now. But we have an amazing group of people on our team and we’d love to help you get your VHL career started! If you like the sounds of this and would like to join the team, just quote this message with your acceptance, and I’ll send you a contract offer and a DM with further information as soon as I can!

From the Diaries of a Peepants Changes Upon Changes for Poopy It's crazy how life is sometimes. I used to skate to clear my mind and relieve stress after tough days working my $35,000/year job bagging groceries in my hometown. Nowadays I mostly hit the ice professionally, I suddenly had to move to Sweden after moving all the way to Switzerland for three years, and I'm literally making over 100x the amount of money I used to. Needless to say, my life now is completely unrecognizable from what it was five years ago, and everything that has happened in between feels like a whirlwind. When Jardy Bunclewirth found me and marketed me to the VHL, he went a little bit overboard. I was drafted 4th overall a year after playing my first game of hockey. Not my first professional game of hockey, my first LITERAL game of hockey. I was a rookie in the VHL two years after playing that first game. My GM at the time, Mr. Jerry Garcia, assured me that the franchise had reasonable expectations for me given my inexperience, but surely there was no amount of expectation I could meet being drafted early in the first round. Still though, I enjoyed my time with the Dynamo, and I felt like a small part of a complex machine. I was necessary, but not flashy. I could exist under the radar, and do what I could to help the team. However, we ultimately didn't meet much success, and when Mr. Garcia was unceremoniously driven out from the franchise, his replacement Alex Johnston Sr. wasted no time making sure I was right behind him. I was traded to Malmo in a deal involving two first round draft picks, and the expectations returned once again. This year in Malmo, I tried to resume my under-the-radar persona. With legends like Brendan Telker and Druss Deathwalker on the team, I didn't feel I really needed to step up in a big way. In a way, I was right, because the usual suspects of great players on the Nighthawks continue to be great. However, it hasn't felt like the team has reached the level it needs to be to win a Continental Cup. I know this because it felt the same way with the Dynamo. Despite how I began my professional hockey career, I *do* want to succeed in this league, and it's past time that I step up and take control of my own destiny. I can no longer hide from the fact that I am the number one defenceman for the Nighthawks, so I need to play the part. I can no longer be content with early playoff exits. I am an integral part of this team, and together we can reach the greatest of heights! I'll even score a damn goal if I have to. - PP

Good call. Wait, do you mean random people touching YOUR cart? Or having companions who aren't designated cart drivers touching the cart?

Ah shit why am I such a degen GM. Also, I thought you were supposed to have a joke name. Wait, I get it now.

Halifax 21st Press Conference 3 Questions Answered = 1 Capped TPE 6 Questions Answered = 2 Capped TPE Please answer in full sentences Week Ending March 6th, 2022 1. As if playing Philadelphia wasn't bad enough, now they have a velociraptor named Greg on their team. And our GM @samx made this happen! Supply a statement to her saying how disappointed you are with this decision. 2. At the time of this writing, there are 12 games remaining in the regular season. Are there any personal statistics you would like to reach before playoffs? 3. Speaking of playoffs, how we perform in the rest of the games this week will determine whether we can surpass San Diego to make playoffs, where we'll face off against the top VHLM team in the first round. That top seed is a race between the Reapers, the Wild, and the Bulls. Which of these teams would you prefer to play and why? 4. Most of you are part of the S83 Draft class, and will be drafted thrice this off-season. Did you know that rjfryman tracks every draft class TPE rankings weekly? Where on your respective draft class chart are you hoping to be in 2-3 weeks? 5. I'm currently drinking some chocolate milk, and it is yum yum so fucking good. What is your favourite beverage? If you are of legal age or fuck the law, what is your favourite alcoholic beverage? 6. There's a dog that lives in my basement that gets quite anxious when its owner is gone, so it can have episodes of barking and sometimes howling. It fills me with irrational rage. What is your biggest pet peeve, or something that grinds your gears? | @CSkams15 @jpdavidson8787 @Fergie @Drew Essen @Jack Riley @David Cobberson @barryst @CanucksFan @BleedBlue52 @tcookie @Azjha_59 @Sam_19 @Charlie22 @william77 @Jérémy Louchard @Yahtzee @Ratty @samthemancub |

So many cuss words, I love Sam getting spicy! Hehe, you said "Poopy." Thank you for not firing me yet ! Also sorry for infecting the locker room with COVID. @fonziGG will always be Squidward, never GGiznof. Which looking at, you can pronounce as "Jiznoff." I now support this change.

This was a nice move for London.

I don't understand a word you just said.

Congrats dude!

yes

DID YOU REALLY JUST SIGN WITH OUR NEMESIS!?

We can offer you a job in the chicken barn.

I think you gotta get on with Scrabble Grapple and take this Clue business down once and for all. It's in your destiny.

Yeah I guess we can give you PP minutes too.

Alternatively, you could join Halifax! We might not make playoffs, but between you and Sam, we’ll have the best moderated Discord in the VHLM. Furthermore, my next podcast will be entirely about you if you sign. And you won’t have to play with Moon and Arce. Cheers!

If you’re allowed to join Samifax I think that would be cool.

It’s only on the goalie.

I find this statement controversial.

I was very seriously considering abandoning the recording and starting over.

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* The audio is weirder because I recorded right off Anchor, which surprisingly makes a difference. https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Nodesode-11-Quick-Musings-e1eu7qg Some quick discussions: - Theme Week - Trade Deadline pickups - The problem with claiming noobs after the deadline - Why Halifax is the best Mentions: @Daniel Janser

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* Inappropriate conduct and narcissism galore in addition to ADHD rambling. https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Hecking-Podcast--S2-Episode-3-Dream-Team-Theme-Weenk-e1eu78s It's Theme Week! What does Jardy discuss for the theme? Well I'll tell you what I discuss NOT discussing: - The All Jardy Dream Team (2:20) - The S19 Calgary Wranglers; GOAT Championship Team OAT? (6:10) - Dream Grader and Commissioner Collections (12:20) Ultimately, Jardy's S82 Dream Team is discussed from 15:50 onwards. Enjoy! Inactive Boomer Mentions: @JardyB10 @Victor @Zero @Quik @WHEELsnipePARTY @STLZACH @Greg_Di @Knight @Higgins @Will @frescoelmo @Corco @probably not noah

1. Yes, and it sucks because you have to input pre programmes responses, and not all usernames are in it, and sometimes they’re butchered in weird ways (So “Spart” is a legit answer but like “Barzy” or “Nykyl” isn’t). Also it dominates the recent posts in off topic even though no one is really that interested in other people’s results. 2. Hold hands and go to the beach. Maybe for a surf. 3. Rom-com of course.

I finally have a chance to listen to some of this! I’ll get the rest next week maybe N0HBDY likes my music, so his positive reinforcement will outpower this shade! The more detailed truth is that I like the intros of songs as intros, but then I let them go on for a minute or so because I like to transition to the podcast after the song hits a high point. I suppose I COULD find a shorter solution that I like, but eh Of course your partners have something in common! And that’s that THEIR partners are huge dweebs. I agree that @Spartan is probably a bad driver, but I disagree that left lane drivers don’t need to be going faster than the speed limit, they definitely do. Icy conditions are the exception. Oh shit you guys just reminded me that I still need to record a 3 pointer.