JardyB10 4,858 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 An Inside Look Into the S40 Off-Season After getting off to a bumpy start due to alcoholism, the S39 VHL and VHLM Playoffs are well under way. With only four teams per league remaining, a decent percentage of the league is more excited for the off-season than they are for the rest of playoffs. While there are some exciting second round and potential final round match-ups, this is a very understandable stance. In approximately a month from now, the VHL will be kicking off its 40th season, making it one of longest lasting simulation leagues in the history of the planet. In fact, that was probably true 20 seasons ago, making our 40th anniversary all the more special. So what’s in store for this momentous off-season? Our fine, handsome, and huge-dicked commissioners have ideas and plans in the work no doubt, but there are potential surprises from all corners of the league. Information has leaked from a notable VHL insider as to what some of these things may be. We’ll leave it up to you to decide which are legitimate, and which will remain rumours. Banner Competition Banner competitions are undoubtedly some of the most prestigious events held for the league’s graphic designers. It offers the entire league an opportunity at extra practice points, and the ultimate winner has their work proudly displayed at the head of the league for an indefinite amount of time. The last banner competition was held since we moved to this website, if not even earlier than that. According to our insider, a banner competition for the S40 off-season is all but confirmed. It may also be a themed competition, likely to specifically commemorate 40 seasons, but another rumour has been suggested it could be themed after a specific VHL or VHLM club. This could be speculated to be the S39 Continental Cup and/or the Founder’s Cup champion, but we won’t know for sure until the off-season truly arrives. The Fappening – VHL Edition One idea that has received a large amount of support in the Admin Forum is to leak pictures of Commissioner Jardy Bunclewirth’s penis. “40 centimeters for 40 seasons!” the noted alcoholic was heard exclaiming. League brass Mitchel Higgins, Victor Alfredsson, and Sterling Labatte are also very enthusiastic about the idea, and are reportedly using league donation money on a professional photographer as we speak. Surprise Retirements There are several sources saying that two extremely notable players from the Davos Dynamo will be unexpectedly retiring in the off-season. There are numerous different reasons being reported for this shocking move, but the most commonly cited one is management instability. Current general manager Michael Molholt has been at the head of the club for one season now, and despite bringing the team to the playoff semi-finals two seasons in a row, has made some questionable management decisions. One of these choices was undoubtedly trading future star Azmet Ali for a 4th round draft pick, but there are apparently more happening behind the scenes that have chafed the two aforementioned stars to pull the plug on their careers early, out of spite. Molholt was unable to be reached for comment for this story. Gifford Shock to Finally Debut? In a news story totally unrelated to the last one, rumour has it that Gifford Shock may soon be making his VHL debut. The defenceman was one of the most hyped prospects of all time within the league’s first 15 seasons, but he was unexpectedly fired by agent Detective Zero before his draft, in favour of the tough New Zealand native J.D. Stormwall. While Stormwall went on to become one of the greatest two-way forwards in VHL history, Shock has been largely forgotten. In a recent development however, the now middle-aged man is strongly under review of a certain unnamed agent, and he may make his VHLM debut in S40. Franchise Relocation Last but not least, it seems as though there may be one or two franchise relocations this off-season. All signs point to at least one of these teams being the Vasteras Iron Eagles, who have been rumoured and on the cusp of moving since Gifford Shock was still a hot prospect. In fact, a few still remember that they DID in fact move for a time to Madrid, which is one of the silliest things to have ever happened to the VHL. It now seems likely that they will be gone for good, likely to another location in Sweden. None of this may come to a surprise to you, but the rumoured second potential relocation may. There is precious little information on this rumour (which is likely all it is), but one could make a few guesses. There have been a number of struggling franchises recently other than Vasteras, including the Helsinki Titans and the Seattle Bears. One of the more interesting theories, however, connects this with the alleged unrest in Davos. The Dynamo have been the most successful franchise in league history, and has a number of old school agents presently associated with the franchise. Could team management be considering a move? As was previously mentioned, much of this article could just be rumours from an unreliable source, but it certainly brings up interesting discussion. One thing that should be certain however, is that this off-season should be one of the more exciting ones in recent memory. BOOM 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,828 Posted September 9, 2014 Admin Share Posted September 9, 2014 One last run. frescoelmo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank 5,054 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Fucking spoiler alert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,828 Posted September 9, 2014 Admin Share Posted September 9, 2014 Yeah surprise retirements lost their surprise factor a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Trifecta 1,896 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 THE FINAL RIDE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 THE FINAL RIDEMolholt's been riding Victor's coattails for awhile, agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boubabi 4,725 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesler 1,514 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Davos > Da Trifecta 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOOM 8,647 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Davos > Not a nice thing for the self-proclaimed Bears Captain to say, LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoop 3,382 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 (edited) Gifford Shock is actually something that pops into my head every now and then, always wondering if someone will make him. It would take being the worst person in the world for someone to actually go and do it. Go ahead and make a Gifford Stock or Static Shock all you want, but make Gifford Shock and you are bad. Edited September 10, 2014 by Streetlight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Moderator frescoelmo 1,268 Posted September 10, 2014 Head Moderator Share Posted September 10, 2014 Davos > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomsday 4,120 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Not a nice thing for the self-proclaimed Bears Captain to say, LOL. It is something that I, as Davos' captain, heartily approve of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomsday 4,120 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Additionally, if Davos relocates I will fucking riot. Frank 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOOM 8,647 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 The Davos Iron Eagles and the Vasteras Dynamo......do it, you know it makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corco 1,162 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Gifford Shock is actually something that pops into my head every now and then, always wondering if someone will make him. It would take being the worst person in the world for someone to actually go and do it. Go ahead and make a Gifford Stock or Static Shock all you want, but make Gifford Shock and you are bad. Oh you won't like my next player then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoop 3,382 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Oh you won't like my next player then. You are not worthy. None is worthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,828 Posted September 10, 2014 Admin Share Posted September 10, 2014 Gifford Shock is the elusive dream. I enjoy crushing dreams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molholt 2,185 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Molholt's been riding Victor's coattails for awhile, agreed. How was your tenure as Cologne GM again? Did I get more big name free agents in one offseason than you ever have? To Jardy, I'm about to show you instability! Jarkko and Naomi retiring to get married and have a life together is hardly "surprising." Corco 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corco 1,162 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 How was your tenure as Cologne GM again? Did I get more big name free agents in one offseason than you ever have? To Jardy, I'm about to show you instability! Jarkko and Naomi retiring to get married and have a life together is hardly "surprising." Dude what are you doing!?!? NOBODY is ever to say anything mean to Kendrick! His feelings might get hurt! Corco 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molholt 2,185 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 He will get to play the victim role, his favorite. Corco 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,858 Posted September 10, 2014 Author Share Posted September 10, 2014 Naomi may have another runaway husband in mind... ASSUMING ONE OF THE RETIREMENTS IS NAOMI AT ALL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,828 Posted September 10, 2014 Admin Share Posted September 10, 2014 Bentley fed up with Low hogging points against minnows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoachReilly 688 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Moher retirement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,828 Posted September 10, 2014 Admin Share Posted September 10, 2014 The moment you realise the coming off-season is S39. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Svoboda_3 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Content: 3/3 892 words. A nice variety of topic covered here. I always wanted to be the person to create a Gifford Shock player, but never wanted to waste a players name to be already chosen for me. If I'm correct, it's been a while since you've done a MS and in all honesty, it was a really good read. I am interested to know the possible second re-location team.Grammar: 2/2 commissioners = CommissionersAppearance: 1/1 Looks good. Nicely formatted.Overall: 6/6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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