ASIANBOUBABI

Why should you draft a Pablo? 
Maybe because he knows the script to every episode of narco(s)
Maybe because hes got 3 hoes in his lowered tahoe
Maybe because he owns a trap house in soho
Where he scores on and off the ice, take a chance roll the dice
If you're a team with two first round picks draft him twice
Thats right, twice as good as the next, no reply texts so precise
Hes got some sweet dishes for your street bitches
From the block to the corner store now onto riches
Dont compare'm because there aint nobody near'em
Agent steps down and the whole VHL goes into a state of mayhem
Call'em a diamond in the rough
Because you know every crack rock is tough
Listen I could put any VHL member on an icepack
If you draft Pablo he could put your whole team on his back
Or on the bench, he talks the truth but to some of your that sounds like french
Haters be talking about the stench, thats the smell of success
This whole verse is my checkmate like we were playing chess 

I'd love to make this the shortest playoffs ever! I'm a part of that record in the VHL, a clean sweep should be at least good enough for a tie in the VHLM!

VHLM Practice Mar 20-26 +1 TPE
 
Random MOck Draft +6 TPE +3 Bonus approved by Higgins
 
Player Card - Takashi +1 TPE
 
VHLM Practice Mar 27-Apr 2 +1 TPE
 
Total TPE: 12
 
Scoring +3 TPE(83 to 84)
Strength +2 TPE(50 to 52)
Puck Handling +5 TPE(55 to 60)
Passing +2 TPE(50 to 52)
 
TPE: 157

Please promote us to the VHL. Great result.

Thank you for the sig and the comments.

That will go well with the mcnuggets I am getting from Frank when I get to 500 TPE

1.  TORONTO LEGION:

Torstein Ironside
Basically @DollarAndADream can draft this player and take his next one for free. This seems like a no brainer to me, he would have two players on the same team that he has full control over. There have been many reasons for him to draft somebody else stated in other mock drafts but I just don't see this happening. I know goaltenders are in abundance right now but they are also important and having control over one as a general manager would be clutch..
 
2.  HC DAVOS DYNAMO:

Fook Yu
@tfong is the highest TPE player that isn't a goaltender and I would be shocked if Davos didn't snag him here. Fong is easy to get along with and helpful to his teams. Also he has history with Davos so it kind of makes sense unless he wants to pull a Kendrick and only play for teams he has not been a part of in the past.

3.  HELSINKI TITANS:

Hudson Abbott
@Higgins has to be thinking of a Velvet replacement soon. The question is, does he take Abbott the first gen or does he take Federov the rival GM player. Federov and Abbott are close in TPE now with Abbott on a better pace overall. Also Abbott is much more likely to stay around Helsinki long term.

4. RIGA REIGN:

Markus King
@Kendrick might throw a hissy fit over this pick but if I am running this team it makes sense to pick him here. First off he has to sign with the team for three seasons. Second, that is a long time to convince the guy that you are on the path to winning a cup. Third, if you aren't on the path to a cup you just trade him for a good return. The top player in the draft at pick four is huge for this franchise.

5.  QUEBEC CITY MEUTE:

Shawn Gretzky
I think @TheLastOlympian07 will be a great steal at this point and makes the most sense for the team overall. Actually Federov looks to make the most sense but him being a rival GM basically means there is no chance he stays in Quebec long term. Gretzgy goes to Quebec and the fans realize it's not Wayne, Not even Keith, just a sorry relative who has got by on his last name.

6.  STOCKHOLM VIKINGS:

Aleksei Federov
Finally @Banackock gets selected and it's a steal of a deal for Stockholm who now only have to convince the man to stay with the club. I feel as though he will actually play here long term though. Stockholm has a good group in their locker room and at least he isn't forced to face his own team in the playoffs unless it's in the finals.

7.  HELSINKI TITANS:

Takashi Fujimoto
@HFD has been a stud so far and a phenominal locker room presence for a first gen here for only a month. Shmeckeldorf and Reinholdt might have more history but I feel like @Higgins will take the young enthusiastic member to mold into a franchise cornerstone.
 
8.  QUEBEC CITY MEUTE:

Rudolph Shmeckeldorf
I feel like @Corco will go here because, well he's the best player left and Quebec won't want anything to do with another rival general manager in @Devise. If Corco continues this pace he will be a star player at eighth overall pick which bodes will for Quebec adding two top shelf guys in this draft.
 
9.  NEW YORK AMERICANS:

Verner Reinholdt
@Devise will take his own player which is a great steal to add to his own team this late. Now he can TPE whore his way to a cup with both of his players on the team which is already contending.
 
10.  CALGARY WRANGLERS:

Vernon Von Axelberry
I know @BobertZ thinks he will go second round but I don't see Calgary in any position to let him sit past this point or someone will scoop the guy for trade bait in which Calgary would likely give up two firsts for him anyway. Regardless, it was a slice having you on Oslo this season bud and I'm sorry I couldn't find a contender for you to play on or get us further in the playoffs.
 

@Higgins                 @Higgins  @Higgins@Higgins   @Higgins                      @Higgins
@Higgins                 @Higgins  @Higgins@Higgins   @Higgins                     @Higgins
@Higgins                 @Higgins @Higgins                   @Higgins                    @Higgins
@Higgins                 @Higgins @Higgins                    @Higgins                 @Higgins
@Higgins@Higgins @Higgins @Higgins@Higgins                @Higgins@Higgins
@Higgins@Higgins@Higgins @Higgins@Higgins                         @Higgins 
@Higgins               @Higgins @Higgins                                        @Higgins
@Higgins               @Higgins @Higgins@Higgins                           @Higgins
@Higgins               @Higgins @Higgins@Higgins                          @Higgins

That will go well with the mcnuggets I am getting from Frank when I get to 500 TPE

That will go well with the mcnuggets I am getting from Frank when I get to 500 TPE

unlimited swiss chalet sauce

North Riga is Best Riga with that pic
 
+3 uncapped TPE

When the concept of a mock draft with bonus tpe was announced, I was initially very excited. Then the reality of trying to determine who would go where hit me and panic set it. There was only one way to proceed and thanks to a very crappy randon number generator at http://jawjahboy.com/games/number-generators/  , I have come up with what I beleive is the most accurate mock draft to be posted so far. Numbers 1-10 were assigned to the top ten tpe earners as listed and the generator did the rest. Read on for this incredible mock draft!
 
1 .
 

 
With the Toronto Legion being the lucky winners of the number one selection, they will turn to the incedible talents of Ottawa Lynx center Fook Yu, in order to build for the future of the franchise. They do need players at most key positions but with defenseman Roman Sokolov already on the roster, its time to start building the forward line. Yu has been in great form for the Lynx this season and had 100+ points to be a key part of Ottawas great season. From all accounts Yu has great management behind him and will be a top part of the Legions rebuild.
 
 
2. 
 

 
Davos are on the clock with the second overall pick and GM Smarch makes a shocking selection and announces the worlds oldest hockey player Verner Reinholdt as the newest Dynamo player. With a ready supply of Bengay, Ibuprofen and prune juice the Dynamo are prepared for all the possibilities that come with this selection. Despite his advancing years Reinholdt will provide a spark from the RW position and the player agency is well known for producing good talent that tries hard. Thank the number generator for this doozie of a pick.
 
 
3. 
 

 
Helsinki come to the podium and quickly announce that Torsten Ironside will be catching a flight to Finland as soon as possible. With Astid Moon prone to double vision and involuntary movements closely resembling seizures when in net, Ironside will quickly be prepared for the #1 Titans goaltender position. I am not saying Moons time in Helsinki is over but unless the medication kicks in fast, she will be riding the pine until Ironside suffers a catastrophic injury. Although given the alternative, GM Higgins may elect to make Ironside play through it anyway.
 
4. 
 

 
The number four spot belongs to Riga and for reasons known only to themselves they select the other Asian in the draft, Takashi Fujimoto. Many believe its a case of mistaken identity and they think they are getting Fook Yu instead. We all look the same. Either way after the riots in the Latvian streets subside, they realize their error and try to send him back to the VHL. Unfortunately they cant find their receipt and are forced to accept the fact that their scouts are morons.
 
5. 
 

 
Looking incredibly similar to his Uncle Wayne, Shawn Gretzky will be headed to Quebec. The Meute cant believe that a player of his skill and gene pool has survived until now and gladly enrol him in French lessons. The center position is very valuable and Gretzky looks like a very good talent and hard worker. He is always demanding to be chosen at number one but no GM is that stupid so he gets selected here at number five.
 
6. 
 

 
Another selection that is purely down to the generator, we have the Stockhom Vikings selecting Vernon von Axelberry with the number six pick. Who knows why? Maybe its another identity error and they meant to pick Verner Reinholdt but just like Riga they are stuck with this guy. Known for his wild parties and cocaine abuse he may just be what a conservative Swedish team needs to liven up the place. From his photo we can see he has had to buy equipment from a local pawn shop due to his insatiable appetite for drugs and prostitutes. I feel sorry for him but he will get a nice contract from the Vikings so he can keep partying once that check clears.
 
7. 
 

 
GM Higgins shocks the VHL and selects defenseman Hudson Abbott with the seventh pick of the draft. The Titans will dismiss rumors of Abbotts VHL heritage and concentrate on his steady play and potential for success. Abbott had to choose between the VHL and a career as a used laptop salesman and the VHL's fans are glad he gave up the latter in order to bring his skills to the league. Looks to be a very good defenseman for years to come.
 
8. 
 

 
With Quebec returning to the podium here at number eight, we will see another defenseman taken in Aleksei Federov. This selection will further strengthen the back end of the Meute and provide them with a quality player who has dropped to them this low. I do not know much about Federov but his training hours suggest he is a hard worker and maybe that is what Quebec needs right now. I dont know, I am just making shit up at this point.
 
9. 
 

 
GM Ryan Power in a lack of self belief will take the former number one favorite Marcus King and be adored by the success hungry New York fans. With MT Power in net the team has struggled to find confidence and by grabbing KIng they ensure they have a capable goalie for the future. Marcus King has been a workout warrior and leads all draftees in training hours showing possible GM's just how determined he is to succeed. 
 
10. 
 

 
With the Wranglers manager demonstrating that he may be GMing using the same randon generator I used here, he finally gets lucky and selects Rudolph Therednosedreindeer or Schmekeldorf...whatever with the tenth and final selection of the first round. He is a very good player in truth but he just doesnt get the coverage he deserves because no one can remember his last name. What happened to all the Smiths and Jones's in the world? Anyway, GM Pablo looks smart with this pick, but later goes on to ruin his credentials by trading his next 2 first round picks for a 3rd rounder and 30 TPE goalie Arthan Lawrence to ensure goaltender depth.
 
Please direct all abuse emails to : thewebmaster@ridiculouslyshittyrandomnumbergenerator.org
 
 
*not sure if I need to tag @Will or @Higgins for bonus?

Abusive email: sent
 
Nice job!!

We have a shortage of prune juice in Switzerland, but an abundunce of rice........

When the concept of a mock draft with bonus tpe was announced, I was initially very excited. Then the reality of trying to determine who would go where hit me and panic set it. There was only one way to proceed and thanks to a very crappy randon number generator at http://jawjahboy.com/games/number-generators/  , I have come up with what I beleive is the most accurate mock draft to be posted so far. Numbers 1-10 were assigned to the top ten tpe earners as listed and the generator did the rest. Read on for this incredible mock draft!
 
1 .
 

 
With the Toronto Legion being the lucky winners of the number one selection, they will turn to the incedible talents of Ottawa Lynx center Fook Yu, in order to build for the future of the franchise. They do need players at most key positions but with defenseman Roman Sokolov already on the roster, its time to start building the forward line. Yu has been in great form for the Lynx this season and had 100+ points to be a key part of Ottawas great season. From all accounts Yu has great management behind him and will be a top part of the Legions rebuild.
 
 
2. 
 

 
Davos are on the clock with the second overall pick and GM Smarch makes a shocking selection and announces the worlds oldest hockey player Verner Reinholdt as the newest Dynamo player. With a ready supply of Bengay, Ibuprofen and prune juice the Dynamo are prepared for all the possibilities that come with this selection. Despite his advancing years Reinholdt will provide a spark from the RW position and the player agency is well known for producing good talent that tries hard. Thank the number generator for this doozie of a pick.
 
 
3. 
 

 
Helsinki come to the podium and quickly announce that Torsten Ironside will be catching a flight to Finland as soon as possible. With Astid Moon prone to double vision and involuntary movements closely resembling seizures when in net, Ironside will quickly be prepared for the #1 Titans goaltender position. I am not saying Moons time in Helsinki is over but unless the medication kicks in fast, she will be riding the pine until Ironside suffers a catastrophic injury. Although given the alternative, GM Higgins may elect to make Ironside play through it anyway.
 
4. 
 

 
The number four spot belongs to Riga and for reasons known only to themselves they select the other Asian in the draft, Takashi Fujimoto. Many believe its a case of mistaken identity and they think they are getting Fook Yu instead. We all look the same. Either way after the riots in the Latvian streets subside, they realize their error and try to send him back to the VHL. Unfortunately they cant find their receipt and are forced to accept the fact that their scouts are morons.
 
5. 
 

 
Looking incredibly similar to his Uncle Wayne, Shawn Gretzky will be headed to Quebec. The Meute cant believe that a player of his skill and gene pool has survived until now and gladly enrol him in French lessons. The center position is very valuable and Gretzky looks like a very good talent and hard worker. He is always demanding to be chosen at number one but no GM is that stupid so he gets selected here at number five.
 
6. 
 

 
Another selection that is purely down to the generator, we have the Stockhom Vikings selecting Vernon von Axelberry with the number six pick. Who knows why? Maybe its another identity error and they meant to pick Verner Reinholdt but just like Riga they are stuck with this guy. Known for his wild parties and cocaine abuse he may just be what a conservative Swedish team needs to liven up the place. From his photo we can see he has had to buy equipment from a local pawn shop due to his insatiable appetite for drugs and prostitutes. I feel sorry for him but he will get a nice contract from the Vikings so he can keep partying once that check clears.
 
7. 
 

 
GM Higgins shocks the VHL and selects defenseman Hudson Abbott with the seventh pick of the draft. The Titans will dismiss rumors of Abbotts VHL heritage and concentrate on his steady play and potential for success. Abbott had to choose between the VHL and a career as a used laptop salesman and the VHL's fans are glad he gave up the latter in order to bring his skills to the league. Looks to be a very good defenseman for years to come.
 
8. 
 

 
With Quebec returning to the podium here at number eight, we will see another defenseman taken in Aleksei Federov. This selection will further strengthen the back end of the Meute and provide them with a quality player who has dropped to them this low. I do not know much about Federov but his training hours suggest he is a hard worker and maybe that is what Quebec needs right now. I dont know, I am just making shit up at this point.
 
9. 
 

 
GM Ryan Power in a lack of self belief will take the former number one favorite Marcus King and be adored by the success hungry New York fans. With MT Power in net the team has struggled to find confidence and by grabbing KIng they ensure they have a capable goalie for the future. Marcus King has been a workout warrior and leads all draftees in training hours showing possible GM's just how determined he is to succeed. 
 
10. 
 

 
With the Wranglers manager demonstrating that he may be GMing using the same randon generator I used here, he finally gets lucky and selects Rudolph Therednosedreindeer or Schmekeldorf...whatever with the tenth and final selection of the first round. He is a very good player in truth but he just doesnt get the coverage he deserves because no one can remember his last name. What happened to all the Smiths and Jones's in the world? Anyway, GM Pablo looks smart with this pick, but later goes on to ruin his credentials by trading his next 2 first round picks for a 3rd rounder and 30 TPE goalie Arthan Lawrence to ensure goaltender depth.
 
Please direct all abuse emails to : thewebmaster@ridiculouslyshittyrandomnumbergenerator.org
 
 
*not sure if I need to tag @Will or @Higgins for bonus?

When the concept of a mock draft with bonus tpe was announced, I was initially very excited. Then the reality of trying to determine who would go where hit me and panic set it. There was only one way to proceed and thanks to a very crappy randon number generator at http://jawjahboy.com/games/number-generators/  , I have come up with what I beleive is the most accurate mock draft to be posted so far. Numbers 1-10 were assigned to the top ten tpe earners as listed and the generator did the rest. Read on for this incredible mock draft!
 
1 .
 

 
With the Toronto Legion being the lucky winners of the number one selection, they will turn to the incedible talents of Ottawa Lynx center Fook Yu, in order to build for the future of the franchise. They do need players at most key positions but with defenseman Roman Sokolov already on the roster, its time to start building the forward line. Yu has been in great form for the Lynx this season and had 100+ points to be a key part of Ottawas great season. From all accounts Yu has great management behind him and will be a top part of the Legions rebuild.
 
 
2. 
 

 
Davos are on the clock with the second overall pick and GM Smarch makes a shocking selection and announces the worlds oldest hockey player Verner Reinholdt as the newest Dynamo player. With a ready supply of Bengay, Ibuprofen and prune juice the Dynamo are prepared for all the possibilities that come with this selection. Despite his advancing years Reinholdt will provide a spark from the RW position and the player agency is well known for producing good talent that tries hard. Thank the number generator for this doozie of a pick.
 
 
3. 
 

 
Helsinki come to the podium and quickly announce that Torsten Ironside will be catching a flight to Finland as soon as possible. With Astid Moon prone to double vision and involuntary movements closely resembling seizures when in net, Ironside will quickly be prepared for the #1 Titans goaltender position. I am not saying Moons time in Helsinki is over but unless the medication kicks in fast, she will be riding the pine until Ironside suffers a catastrophic injury. Although given the alternative, GM Higgins may elect to make Ironside play through it anyway.
 
4. 
 

 
The number four spot belongs to Riga and for reasons known only to themselves they select the other Asian in the draft, Takashi Fujimoto. Many believe its a case of mistaken identity and they think they are getting Fook Yu instead. We all look the same. Either way after the riots in the Latvian streets subside, they realize their error and try to send him back to the VHL. Unfortunately they cant find their receipt and are forced to accept the fact that their scouts are morons.
 
5. 
 

 
Looking incredibly similar to his Uncle Wayne, Shawn Gretzky will be headed to Quebec. The Meute cant believe that a player of his skill and gene pool has survived until now and gladly enrol him in French lessons. The center position is very valuable and Gretzky looks like a very good talent and hard worker. He is always demanding to be chosen at number one but no GM is that stupid so he gets selected here at number five.
 
6. 
 

 
Another selection that is purely down to the generator, we have the Stockhom Vikings selecting Vernon von Axelberry with the number six pick. Who knows why? Maybe its another identity error and they meant to pick Verner Reinholdt but just like Riga they are stuck with this guy. Known for his wild parties and cocaine abuse he may just be what a conservative Swedish team needs to liven up the place. From his photo we can see he has had to buy equipment from a local pawn shop due to his insatiable appetite for drugs and prostitutes. I feel sorry for him but he will get a nice contract from the Vikings so he can keep partying once that check clears.
 
7. 
 

 
GM Higgins shocks the VHL and selects defenseman Hudson Abbott with the seventh pick of the draft. The Titans will dismiss rumors of Abbotts VHL heritage and concentrate on his steady play and potential for success. Abbott had to choose between the VHL and a career as a used laptop salesman and the VHL's fans are glad he gave up the latter in order to bring his skills to the league. Looks to be a very good defenseman for years to come.
 
8. 
 

 
With Quebec returning to the podium here at number eight, we will see another defenseman taken in Aleksei Federov. This selection will further strengthen the back end of the Meute and provide them with a quality player who has dropped to them this low. I do not know much about Federov but his training hours suggest he is a hard worker and maybe that is what Quebec needs right now. I dont know, I am just making shit up at this point.
 
9. 
 

 
GM Ryan Power in a lack of self belief will take the former number one favorite Marcus King and be adored by the success hungry New York fans. With MT Power in net the team has struggled to find confidence and by grabbing KIng they ensure they have a capable goalie for the future. Marcus King has been a workout warrior and leads all draftees in training hours showing possible GM's just how determined he is to succeed. 
 
10. 
 

 
With the Wranglers manager demonstrating that he may be GMing using the same randon generator I used here, he finally gets lucky and selects Rudolph Therednosedreindeer or Schmekeldorf...whatever with the tenth and final selection of the first round. He is a very good player in truth but he just doesnt get the coverage he deserves because no one can remember his last name. What happened to all the Smiths and Jones's in the world? Anyway, GM Pablo looks smart with this pick, but later goes on to ruin his credentials by trading his next 2 first round picks for a 3rd rounder and 30 TPE goalie Arthan Lawrence to ensure goaltender depth.
 
Please direct all abuse emails to : thewebmaster@ridiculouslyshittyrandomnumbergenerator.org
 
 
*not sure if I need to tag @Will or @Higgins for bonus?

When the concept of a mock draft with bonus tpe was announced, I was initially very excited. Then the reality of trying to determine who would go where hit me and panic set it. There was only one way to proceed and thanks to a very crappy randon number generator at http://jawjahboy.com/games/number-generators/  , I have come up with what I beleive is the most accurate mock draft to be posted so far. Numbers 1-10 were assigned to the top ten tpe earners as listed and the generator did the rest. Read on for this incredible mock draft!
 
1 .
 

 
With the Toronto Legion being the lucky winners of the number one selection, they will turn to the incedible talents of Ottawa Lynx center Fook Yu, in order to build for the future of the franchise. They do need players at most key positions but with defenseman Roman Sokolov already on the roster, its time to start building the forward line. Yu has been in great form for the Lynx this season and had 100+ points to be a key part of Ottawas great season. From all accounts Yu has great management behind him and will be a top part of the Legions rebuild.
 
 
2. 
 

 
Davos are on the clock with the second overall pick and GM Smarch makes a shocking selection and announces the worlds oldest hockey player Verner Reinholdt as the newest Dynamo player. With a ready supply of Bengay, Ibuprofen and prune juice the Dynamo are prepared for all the possibilities that come with this selection. Despite his advancing years Reinholdt will provide a spark from the RW position and the player agency is well known for producing good talent that tries hard. Thank the number generator for this doozie of a pick.
 
 
3. 
 

 
Helsinki come to the podium and quickly announce that Torsten Ironside will be catching a flight to Finland as soon as possible. With Astid Moon prone to double vision and involuntary movements closely resembling seizures when in net, Ironside will quickly be prepared for the #1 Titans goaltender position. I am not saying Moons time in Helsinki is over but unless the medication kicks in fast, she will be riding the pine until Ironside suffers a catastrophic injury. Although given the alternative, GM Higgins may elect to make Ironside play through it anyway.
 
4. 
 

 
The number four spot belongs to Riga and for reasons known only to themselves they select the other Asian in the draft, Takashi Fujimoto. Many believe its a case of mistaken identity and they think they are getting Fook Yu instead. We all look the same. Either way after the riots in the Latvian streets subside, they realize their error and try to send him back to the VHL. Unfortunately they cant find their receipt and are forced to accept the fact that their scouts are morons.
 
5. 
 

 
Looking incredibly similar to his Uncle Wayne, Shawn Gretzky will be headed to Quebec. The Meute cant believe that a player of his skill and gene pool has survived until now and gladly enrol him in French lessons. The center position is very valuable and Gretzky looks like a very good talent and hard worker. He is always demanding to be chosen at number one but no GM is that stupid so he gets selected here at number five.
 
6. 
 

 
Another selection that is purely down to the generator, we have the Stockhom Vikings selecting Vernon von Axelberry with the number six pick. Who knows why? Maybe its another identity error and they meant to pick Verner Reinholdt but just like Riga they are stuck with this guy. Known for his wild parties and cocaine abuse he may just be what a conservative Swedish team needs to liven up the place. From his photo we can see he has had to buy equipment from a local pawn shop due to his insatiable appetite for drugs and prostitutes. I feel sorry for him but he will get a nice contract from the Vikings so he can keep partying once that check clears.
 
7. 
 

 
GM Higgins shocks the VHL and selects defenseman Hudson Abbott with the seventh pick of the draft. The Titans will dismiss rumors of Abbotts VHL heritage and concentrate on his steady play and potential for success. Abbott had to choose between the VHL and a career as a used laptop salesman and the VHL's fans are glad he gave up the latter in order to bring his skills to the league. Looks to be a very good defenseman for years to come.
 
8. 
 

 
With Quebec returning to the podium here at number eight, we will see another defenseman taken in Aleksei Federov. This selection will further strengthen the back end of the Meute and provide them with a quality player who has dropped to them this low. I do not know much about Federov but his training hours suggest he is a hard worker and maybe that is what Quebec needs right now. I dont know, I am just making shit up at this point.
 
9. 
 

 
GM Ryan Power in a lack of self belief will take the former number one favorite Marcus King and be adored by the success hungry New York fans. With MT Power in net the team has struggled to find confidence and by grabbing KIng they ensure they have a capable goalie for the future. Marcus King has been a workout warrior and leads all draftees in training hours showing possible GM's just how determined he is to succeed. 
 
10. 
 

 
With the Wranglers manager demonstrating that he may be GMing using the same randon generator I used here, he finally gets lucky and selects Rudolph Therednosedreindeer or Schmekeldorf...whatever with the tenth and final selection of the first round. He is a very good player in truth but he just doesnt get the coverage he deserves because no one can remember his last name. What happened to all the Smiths and Jones's in the world? Anyway, GM Pablo looks smart with this pick, but later goes on to ruin his credentials by trading his next 2 first round picks for a 3rd rounder and 30 TPE goalie Arthan Lawrence to ensure goaltender depth.
 
Please direct all abuse emails to : thewebmaster@ridiculouslyshittyrandomnumbergenerator.org
 
 
*not sure if I need to tag @Will or @Higgins for bonus?

When the concept of a mock draft with bonus tpe was announced, I was initially very excited. Then the reality of trying to determine who would go where hit me and panic set it. There was only one way to proceed and thanks to a very crappy randon number generator at http://jawjahboy.com/games/number-generators/  , I have come up with what I beleive is the most accurate mock draft to be posted so far. Numbers 1-10 were assigned to the top ten tpe earners as listed and the generator did the rest. Read on for this incredible mock draft!
 
1 .
 

 
With the Toronto Legion being the lucky winners of the number one selection, they will turn to the incedible talents of Ottawa Lynx center Fook Yu, in order to build for the future of the franchise. They do need players at most key positions but with defenseman Roman Sokolov already on the roster, its time to start building the forward line. Yu has been in great form for the Lynx this season and had 100+ points to be a key part of Ottawas great season. From all accounts Yu has great management behind him and will be a top part of the Legions rebuild.
 
 
2. 
 

 
Davos are on the clock with the second overall pick and GM Smarch makes a shocking selection and announces the worlds oldest hockey player Verner Reinholdt as the newest Dynamo player. With a ready supply of Bengay, Ibuprofen and prune juice the Dynamo are prepared for all the possibilities that come with this selection. Despite his advancing years Reinholdt will provide a spark from the RW position and the player agency is well known for producing good talent that tries hard. Thank the number generator for this doozie of a pick.
 
 
3. 
 

 
Helsinki come to the podium and quickly announce that Torsten Ironside will be catching a flight to Finland as soon as possible. With Astid Moon prone to double vision and involuntary movements closely resembling seizures when in net, Ironside will quickly be prepared for the #1 Titans goaltender position. I am not saying Moons time in Helsinki is over but unless the medication kicks in fast, she will be riding the pine until Ironside suffers a catastrophic injury. Although given the alternative, GM Higgins may elect to make Ironside play through it anyway.
 
4. 
 

 
The number four spot belongs to Riga and for reasons known only to themselves they select the other Asian in the draft, Takashi Fujimoto. Many believe its a case of mistaken identity and they think they are getting Fook Yu instead. We all look the same. Either way after the riots in the Latvian streets subside, they realize their error and try to send him back to the VHL. Unfortunately they cant find their receipt and are forced to accept the fact that their scouts are morons.
 
5. 
 

 
Looking incredibly similar to his Uncle Wayne, Shawn Gretzky will be headed to Quebec. The Meute cant believe that a player of his skill and gene pool has survived until now and gladly enrol him in French lessons. The center position is very valuable and Gretzky looks like a very good talent and hard worker. He is always demanding to be chosen at number one but no GM is that stupid so he gets selected here at number five.
 
6. 
 

 
Another selection that is purely down to the generator, we have the Stockhom Vikings selecting Vernon von Axelberry with the number six pick. Who knows why? Maybe its another identity error and they meant to pick Verner Reinholdt but just like Riga they are stuck with this guy. Known for his wild parties and cocaine abuse he may just be what a conservative Swedish team needs to liven up the place. From his photo we can see he has had to buy equipment from a local pawn shop due to his insatiable appetite for drugs and prostitutes. I feel sorry for him but he will get a nice contract from the Vikings so he can keep partying once that check clears.
 
7. 
 

 
GM Higgins shocks the VHL and selects defenseman Hudson Abbott with the seventh pick of the draft. The Titans will dismiss rumors of Abbotts VHL heritage and concentrate on his steady play and potential for success. Abbott had to choose between the VHL and a career as a used laptop salesman and the VHL's fans are glad he gave up the latter in order to bring his skills to the league. Looks to be a very good defenseman for years to come.
 
8. 
 

 
With Quebec returning to the podium here at number eight, we will see another defenseman taken in Aleksei Federov. This selection will further strengthen the back end of the Meute and provide them with a quality player who has dropped to them this low. I do not know much about Federov but his training hours suggest he is a hard worker and maybe that is what Quebec needs right now. I dont know, I am just making shit up at this point.
 
9. 
 

 
GM Ryan Power in a lack of self belief will take the former number one favorite Marcus King and be adored by the success hungry New York fans. With MT Power in net the team has struggled to find confidence and by grabbing KIng they ensure they have a capable goalie for the future. Marcus King has been a workout warrior and leads all draftees in training hours showing possible GM's just how determined he is to succeed. 
 
10. 
 

 
With the Wranglers manager demonstrating that he may be GMing using the same randon generator I used here, he finally gets lucky and selects Rudolph Therednosedreindeer or Schmekeldorf...whatever with the tenth and final selection of the first round. He is a very good player in truth but he just doesnt get the coverage he deserves because no one can remember his last name. What happened to all the Smiths and Jones's in the world? Anyway, GM Pablo looks smart with this pick, but later goes on to ruin his credentials by trading his next 2 first round picks for a 3rd rounder and 30 TPE goalie Arthan Lawrence to ensure goaltender depth.
 
Please direct all abuse emails to : thewebmaster@ridiculouslyshittyrandomnumbergenerator.org
 
 
*not sure if I need to tag @Will or @Higgins for bonus?

10/10 Best Mock

Perhaps the most exciting moment in VHL season is soon here, it´s the draft of course! Always interesting to see what teams do in the draft, do they just keep their picks, try to move higher or trade them away and get players who are more ready now? Never know, one thing is for sure though, there are some excellent prospects in this years draft.
 
I will now try to guess with very limited research on what the first round might look like. 
 
 Toronto has the first overall pick:
 
They more than likely will pick a goalie, but could just as well go for a center,defender or a winger. Tough choice really and me mentioning all the positions, I have now pretty much guaranteed getting at least the position of the first overall pick right. Ironside from the goalies would be the safest pick, since he will almost guaranteed to be a success for Toronto. That is what you want from a first overall pick, someone who will deliver. King, Fook Yu and Fedorov are quite safe picks as well, could build your team around them, but still going to guess first overall pick will be goalie, who knows when you get a chance to add a goalie into your roster next time?
 
 Davos second overall:
 
Davos is in pretty similar place as Toronto at the moment, could use player in multiple positions, they do have a promising goalie in the roster, so perhaps a center or defender is the player for them, if Toronto takes a goalie first overall, then I would have to throw Fook Yu and Fedorov out there first.
 
Helsinki picks third:
 
Team with a pretty solid looking roster, at least at the moment. Defender or a winger could be the most logical options if the current roster stays together, going to assume Fook Yu is in Davos by now, leaving Fedorov and Abbot from the top defenders still available, if they want a winger, Rudolph Schmeckeldorf or Takashi Fujimoto are excellent picks. Chances are you will find a winger more likely in the future than a defender, so my money is on Fedorov or Abbot for third overall.
 
Riga fourth overall:
 
Riga is a team going through a rebuild of some kind, they have few top players in the team, but also few promising centers coming up, so defender, goalie or a winger have to be the top targets in this years draft. If I would have to guess, Abbot or Fedorov again. If Riga is getting rid of few of the older guys during off-season, then I could see Riga going after King at fourth overall.
 
 Quebec chooses next:
 
Our goalie situation looks rather nice, so winger, center or a defender is my top guess for fifth overall pick. Rudolph Schmeckeldorf or Takashi Fujimoto could grow to be franchise level wingers in Quebec, Gretzky as one of the center could very well be picked in the top-5, but if one of Fedorov or Abbot is still there, either one of them next to my cool looking player would be pretty ideal first pairing to have. Tough choice.
 
That is the top five. Will now close my eyes and try to predict the picks 5 to 10 with less words:
 
 Stockholm at sixth overall will take a winger, Rudolp, Takashi or Verner.
 
Helsinki choosing a player again on the first round, seventh overall, if they pick a defender at second overall, I´m going to guess they will try and get winger at 7th, one of Rudolp,Takashi or Verner again.
 
Quebec also for the second time in the first round, eight overall, assuming all the top wingers are gone by now, Gretzky as a center is a excellent pick and someone who would get a big role almost right away. Is he there at eight overall anymore though? If not, one of the wingers mentioned few times could very well still be there. 
 
The Americans will pick 9th, looking at their team, they might go after a defender first, so Jon Snow or Jean Claude Girard are my picks.
 
Last team to pick in the first round is Calgary at 10th overall, they could use a goalie prospect in their organization, so Von Axelberry will be picked as a last player in the first round.
 
There you have it, my try to guess what will happen. These are perhaps not as on point as some others, but I don´t really know what ties different users have to different organizations, so just tried to guess the picks more from what teams could use on their roster now or in the future. At least 80% will be wrong, so do not use this information when coming up with a plan on who to pick for your team!
 
@Higgins

Updated, TPE at 145

Yes we are! Hopefully it'll be short. >:^)

Season 54 Draft Profiles
Written by: Frank Chadwick
 
 
Shawn Gretzky - Center (166 TPE) @TheLastOlympian07

Gretzky has really come on in the second half of Season 53. 
 
With the name Gretzky comes great expectations, most players would shudder at the thought. Not Shawn he relishes the challenge to live up to the greatest player in history. Shawn is a pure two-way centerman in every sense of the word, he does nothing exceptionally but he excels at every facet of the game. He also comes from the Olympian agency who just retired Shawn Muller a prolific goal scorer in the VHL, with his current track record this should help improve Gretzky's draft position. Shawn is probably the most intriguing player in the draft just based on which team will select him. Centers are always a valuable commodity but with differing team needs it could be anywhere in the first round. 
 
Likeliest Destinations:

Dark Horse:

 
 
 
Vernon Von Axelberry - Goalie (163 TPE) @BobertZ

A future starting goalie but rarely mentioned after the big two in the draft.
 
One GM told me he would take Axelberry much higher then most pundits expect him to go just based on his agencies reputation. The Robbie agency has produced many talents most recently Sir William Covington III who is currently playing for the Helsinki Titans. Axelberry is all charisma and character he just oozes confidence. His play style is that of a prime Marty Turco his style is a bit unorthodox and his puck handling abilities make you scratch your head as to why he ever chose to play goal in the first place. Axelberry will be a starting goalie at the very least he could easily be one of the faces of whichever franchise takes a flyer on him. Could easily be the steal of the draft depending on where he lands.
 
Likeliest Destinations:

Dark Horse:
The Las Vegas _______
 
 
Takashi Fujimoto - Right Wing (133 TPE) @HFD

Fujimoto almost quick hockey to pursue a baseball career, VHL GM's are glad he didn't.
 
In a candid interview this month with Fujimoto, he questioned his commitment to hockey and whether or not he would last in a sport he isn't even that interested in. Luckily it appears Takashi has found a second gear as he's driven his stock through the roof all the way into the first round. His raw potential has most VHL GM's salivating at taking a player with his potential in the late first round. Takashi is a pure sniper, he runs the half wall on the powerplay. He's a member of the HFD agency which is fairly new to the VHL. His agency has been active throughout the league and VHL GM's are taking notice. Whoever Fujimoto lands to will have a pleasant surprise on their hands. Takashi projects to be a top line forward in the VHL, who could possibly play in the VHL next season. 
 
Likeliest Destinations:

Dark Horse:
Any team not mentioned.
 
 
Rudolph Schmeckeldorf - Left Wing (TPE: 143) @Corco

Schmeckeldorf is a pest, if he's on your team you love him otherwise you wanna clobber him. 
 
Drawing comparisons to Brad Marchand of the Boston Bruins, Rudolph Schmeckeldorf is making a name for himself. He is a an absolute nightmare to his opponents. Show boating, dangerous plays, and the talent to back up all the smack talk. Schmeckeldorf has already been fined 5 times by the VHLM commissioners this season for his on ice antics. We've also heard from various sources he's quite a character off the ice. Fortunately for him he has all the talent in the world so his ceiling is really up to him and the Corco agency. The Corco agency was well known back in the mid 30s for churning out VHL talent but has been dormant for quite some time. Schmeckeldorf projects to be a top line forward who's greatest impact could come in the post season. After polling all VHL GM's he may be the biggest wild card of his draft class just based on all the variables. 
 
Likeliest Destinations:

Dark Horse:

 
 
Verner Reinholdt - Right Wing (TPE: 106) @Devise

Reinholdt has the most to prove in this draft class. 
 
Reinholdt skates like the wind, shoots like Legolas and has the vision of Sauron's eye. So what's not to like? Well firstly the Devise agency has had trouble recently with their respective players careers. Although Verner has much more valuable skill sets compared to his counterparts such as the infamous Thaddeus Humbert. We won't go there. If Devise can spend time and update this player to the 700+ tpe range he will be a very valuable commodity in the late first round. For now Reinholdt is a high risk high reward type player as most late picks generally are. He is currently tracking to be a top line forward. Devise might have a bit of a chip on his shoulder as MT Power has become the butt end of jokes recently.
 
Likeliest Destinations: 

Dark Horse:

 
 
Thanks for the read everyone, next week will be a Season 54 Mock Draft with GM/Player interviews. Stay tuned!
 
Again thanks to @Kendrick for the TPE numbers I know they're not quite up to date but I wanted to have the continuity of the first part of this article, cheers everyone. 
 
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