eagle_3450

"He sucks! We wasted our first round pick on this? I think that we should just send him down to the VHLE instead of trying to make him something he isn't... a decent player!" These are the words that came out of the mouth of one of the VHL's finest sportswriters. Retoslav has officially become public enemy number one for London United fans. After London took a gamble on him, picking him 12th in the S83 VHL Draft, everyone thought that he would turn into a star. Sadly, none of that ever happened. He had a disappointing season with Vasteras in the VHLE that ended with even more failure in the cup finals. Now in the VHL, he isn't even on track for 35 points. It's very obvious that this is getting to Retoslav, in a game against Riga, he alone had 17 PIM. We haven't even gotten an interview from him since that night and we're in the process of an amazing prospect becoming a VHL bust. After records got out that showed team GM @Dil bought Retoslav a private jet valued at $76.5M and that he was paid $6M in hi VHLE season. Things only got worse for him as it made London fans extremely angry that they had wasted so much money on a guy that can't even score. We're hoping that Ivan can turn things around and we will definitely update you whenever we have more info. That's all for tonight, now let me go gamble my sadness away in the Vegas LR.

I'm making fun of Doom obviously Leon

We're about ten games into the VHL season now, nine games in to be exact. Retoslav has been producing points as he should and is living up to expectations with a solid total of five points in nine games. Of those five points, he has one goal and four assists. He also took home the accolade of scoring the first goal for London in Season 84. Knowing how Retoslav's relationship with Vasteras GM @Dil, and the fact that Dil is now the GM of London. It is surprising we haven't heard much about any disagreements between the two. Rumours are also circulating that Dil bought Retoslav a new private jet, although this is impossible to prove. It was also confirmed by the VHL financier that Retoslav was paid $6,000,000 in S83 when he should have been paid $3,000,000. This officially gives him the largest contract in VHLE history, even though it was above league maximum. Anyway, Retoslav is overall having a decent season so far! Come back next time when I steal @leandrofg's Italian flag and make him do stereotypical gestures.

F - Vinny Detroit

nono, I only had 1.3 seconds, and yes, I was timing it

damnit yeah just saw that lol

F - Daniel Janser D - Jan Hlozek @jacobcarson877

Everyone knows the name Retoslav by now, 80 points in the VHLM, 60 in the VHLE and finally, gearing up for his rookie season. What many don't know, is the origin of the star we know today. In this article, we will be pulling back the curtain and revealing the life of Retoslav before even the VHLM, going back into his DEL days and farther. Let's jump right in! Retoslav was born in St. Petersburg, Russia and also grew up there. He played on the local AAA team and ended up becoming the organization's all time points leader. He played 9 seasons with the team, from ages 5 to 14. He ended up with a total of 544 games played and a staggering 637 points in his time there. Retoslav then moved up to the DEL after moving to Germany for school at the age of 15. He played 2 seasons there and racked up over 100 points in just over 60 games. At this point we get into Retoslav's VHLM career as he was drafted 17th overall to the San Diego Marlins. Shortly after, he was selected as 2nd assistant captain and then selected as captain when the captain was traded away. After this he was traded to the Houston Bulls and, well, you know the rest! Thanks for tuning into this recap of the Russian star's life and we will see you next time when we shave off @Shindigs's beard to see just how much hair a man can have on a face!

F - Max Torq G - Xavier Booberry I pick 2 iirc? @jacobcarson877

Guess I'm 1st? C - Saku KotkaKoivu @jacobcarson877 your pick

Congrats on maintaining contact with a woman for more that 3 seconds unlike me!

SIGN ME UP DAD (I’m Spartan Jr.)

I want a steroid test because of the pesticides and fertilizer given to the potato.

OUT

1. Retoslav could have scored I don't know... AT LEAST ONE POINT!!! 2. We did very well and it was a super fun season (aside from the jet selling) 3. I'm a little disappointed that I only got 60 points, I expected closer to 80. 4. Contract negotiations, and getting called up to London! 5. A NEW JET *AHEM* DIL KNOWS!!! 6. Hockey, obviously. Followed by simracing.

TEAM CANADA ROSTER GO CANADA GO GOALIES G - Augustus Kennedy - @InstantRockstar G - Red Gaming - @Lilpfigher DEFENCE MEN D - Doug Matchett - @jacobaa19 D - Cameron Elsby - @Spence King D - Pierre Emile Bouchard - @Gaikoku-hito D - Jared Carter the 2st - @jaredc7 CENTERS C - Johnny Xavier - @Johnny_HX C - Jack Hextall - @Jack Feriancek C - Eldon Escobar - @TeeJay11 LEFT WINGERS LW - Bob Chicoine - @PoignardLeclerc11 LW - Cobalt Burns - @Ledge LW - Christopher Young - @Laflamme RIGHT WINGERS RW - Ray Withers - @Ray Withers RW - Gus Bentley - @boatsinking123 RW - Ashton Komaryk - @Komaryk Welcome to the team everyone! Now lets win this thing! Join the WJC discord server here: https://discord.gg/ZDgYseHb GO CANADA GO

Team doesn't matter to me lol. (just not a rebuild, we don't need to carry another team like we did with san diego)

how do you feel about us trying to play our final season on the same team? End it exactly how it started?

1. Yes, answering late so yes! 2. BRATISLAVA 3. Probably me or Leandro. 4. Extremely well with 2 multi point games as well! 5. WE WANT THE CUP 6. Like shit, nothing new because that's normal.

Little cold eh?