Thunder

1. What did you make of the wild's trade deadline? We scored on that deal. No doubt about it. 2. Who do you think pose the biggest threat to the wild this post season? The biggest threat is partying in between playoff rounds as we wait for the other teams to catch up. 3. 1 game left for the east team to make it into the NHL playoffs! Who makes it? Hopefully not Pittsburg 4. What is the most unique food you have tried? One time I had a cheeseburger with no cheese. 5. Who is the Stanley cup favorites in your opinion? Let New York have that title so they get their ass kicked in the first round 6. BIg Mac or whopper ? Whopper got me sick for a week one time, so I’ll go with a Big Mac.

Thats coming next week. All about john season

Things are starting to heat up between Prague Phantoms winger Rip Wheeler, @ScottyP, and Vancouver Wolves winger Logan Ninefingers, @Scurvy. Game #393 found Rip Wheeler to be skirting the ice time with Logan Ninefingers, knowing all too well that Ninefingers has been after Wheeler. Logan Ninefingers, the hard working, gritty power forward for the Wolves had reached out to his GM, @Frank, for a chance to share the ice with Wheeler so they could match up and air out some differences. Ninefingers has been vocal about how disappointing Wheeler is as a hockey player, giving a lackluster effort and just going through the motions. For almost two periods, every time Logan Ninefingers stepped on the ice, Rip Wheeler immediately asked for a sub out. This chicken shit worked as Logan Ninefingers was keenly aware of Wheeler’s antics of being mouthy only when Ninefingers cant get to Wheeler. At the 16:43 mark, Wheeler had only four shots, all of which were easily stopped by Dalkr Vidarrson, @kaleebthemighty. Wheeler received a pass from Skor McFleury, @Alex, while looking on the Vancouver bench and seeing Ninefingers was about to jump on the ice. Wheeler dumped the puck and went right after rookie Riley Martin, @Smarch, with what can only be described as a limpwristed attempt to challenge Martin. Now Martin, not about to back down from anyone, let alone Rip Wheeler, reveled at the instigating and proceeded to use Wheeler’s face to redden his knuckles. Spanish Moon Moth, @Renomitsu and Guntis Gavilrovs, @Girts embraced for a fight to a draw; as did Nikolas Kauppi, @Tetricide and Mikko Borisyuk. @Minebro. Spanish Moon Moth and Nikolas Kauppi both shook their heads in disgust as they saw Rip Wheeler pick himself off the ice and skate to the bench as quickly as possible knowing that Wheeler will not be tangling against Logan Ninefingers anytime soon. Before opening the bench door, Wheeler could be heard begging the referee to give him a game misconduct so he could avoid Ninefingers another day. 335 words

There’s something amiss in the VHLM right now. There’s definitely something strange going on. I cannot put my finger on it, but I know that I am onto something because the sun is definitely not lining up with the moon. Well apparently it did for a little while, but that doesn’t explain the phenomenon that is happening. And this is the topic I get to write about for my TPE; however, before I get into it, if you read through this I am asking for your help to provide some input and solve this anomaly because I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure it out. How can Halifax 21st be the nemesis of the Saskatoon Wild in season 93? Saskatoon is a dominating team and hands down is going to win the Founders Cup this season, yet every time Saskatoon matches up with Halifax the skies turn dark, the birds stop singing, the squirrels hide their nuts, and Halifax kicks the living shit out of Saskatoon. Halifax and Saskatoon have matched up four times this season, and Halifax has come out on top all four games. These two teams match up two more times in season play, and I’ve got to figure out how Halifax is cheating before the next two games take place. Saskatoon GM, @Dadam30, is doing everything right, and even with their expertise managing the team, cannot seem to overcome the trickery and dirty handed play by Halifax GM, @LucyXpher. Lucyxpher is no stranger to internal investigations, considering the recent jelly coin debacle. But to continue, it has come to the point of having to hire some private investigators to determine what means lucyxpher is doing to cause Saskatoon’s misery. With the help of Harry Bosch, Mitch Rapp, Scott Coleman, Joe Pike, and Elvis Cole, here are some of the potential suspicious actions by Halifax over the course of the season to cause Halifax to have a huge advantage over Saskatoon. When I say “huge advantage” one only needs to look to the record. Look what has happened over those four games. Saskatoon outshot Halifax 102 to 91, yet Halifax put the puck in the net 13 times to Saskatoon’s 4 goals. Halifax was unusually more aggressive in the competitions, outhitting Saskatoon 89 to 68. With the extra hits came more penalty minutes, as Halifax spent 69 minutes in the box while Saskatoon had 57 minutes in the sin bin, yet there was no advantage to Saskatoon. Saskatoon blocked 31 of Halifax’s shots, while Halifax blocked 27 of Saskatoon’s shots. Both teams scored two of their goals on power plays. Given these statistics, the biggest stat that is lopsided, and yes I agree its the most important stat, is the goals scored. What is Lucyxpher doing to give Halifax such an advantage? I asked Elvis Cole to look into this and here is what he found out. Elvis Cole spent a lot of time looking at the accommodations in Halifax, as well as in Saskatoon and he discovered that the conditions of the hotel rooms provided to Saskatoon were sub par. The heating was at uncomfortable levels and the air quality was just above hazardous levels, which is likely the reason the Saskatoon players seemed to be out of shape during the contests in Halifax. Barely breathing while on the ice, there’s no doubt Saskatoon was a victim of foul play. Investigating further, it was determined that Halifax AGM, @Will3, signed for all of the hotel adjustments. To make matters worse, the food provided to Saskatoon was determined to have been poisoned, which to no surprise caused some indigestion problems with Bollos de Trueno, as if Thunder Buns needed any help there. Scott Coleman conducted covert surveillance on a few of Halifax 21st players and reported that John Season, @dylanjj37, spent a lot of time at the Juan Ceson Zoo, which is not unusual, but what he found to be unusual was the secret laboratory that he found John Season going to every day. Coleman noted the unusual manipulation of the monkeys and the walrus. To make matters even more suspicious was the Geico team meeting with John Season and Halifax goaltender, John Webber III, @Webberj. Webber was providing some advice to Duncan the walrus. Coleman came to the conclusion that Webber was given a synthetic cocktail giving him super agility and vision which played a pivotal role in the inability of Saskatoon to score goals against Webber III. Harry Bosch conducted his investigation in the locker rooms and around the arenas to determine foul play. His report indicated that the Saskatoon sticks had been tampered with as there were several sticks with splinters causing a severe loss of power. Saskatoon goal scorer, Oliver Loo, @Misty, had complained about something being wrong with the sticks and this certainly explains why Loo didn’t more score goals against Halifax. Bosch also discovered that the Saskatoon blades had been dulled and all the sharpening tools were not functional. To make matters worse, there were steel weights found in the pads giving the Saskatoon players a sluggish feel on the ice to go with not having edges on their skates. Joe Pike helped Harry Bosch and he found the boards behind the Saskatoon goal to have been altered, giving Halifax an rebound advantage. You might ask, “what about when the teams change sides,” and Pike located wireless devices that automatically adjusted the boards to the desired rebound. Just ask Boston how Florida got their first goal in the last game. This was obvious as Halifax players, Pierre Marc Bouchard, @Gaikoku-hito, has scored 1/5th of his goals against Saskatoon; Maple Dogwood, @dogwoodmaple, put up 6 points against Saskatoon; Aanarsi Reingaard, @Laine, has 21% of his points credited when playing Saskatoon; and John Season has 4 of his 27 assists against the Wild. The final part of the investigation was completed by Mitch Rapp. Rapp spent some time investigating @lucyxpher, finding her to have secretly have been attending the workouts of Carson Tripp, @Cartripp14, and Micah Cedarbaum, @MicahC. Lucyxpher adjusted the tensions of the ropes, causing Cedarbaum and Tripp to have rubber arms just before game 3. Strategically having John Season create a general fight, GM Lucyxpher picked Dorji Kahn, @Oddpurplefly to fight Carson Tripp; and Ty Duke, @TheDuke, to fight Micah Cedarbaum. Both of these fights, which would have normally ended in Duke and Kahn getting their faces smashed in by Cedarbaum and Tripp, ended in draws and had no favorable bearing for Saskatoon. Luckily for Saskatoon, Leon Bruhmaninho, @BigBruhman, worked out at a different gym when Lucyxpher was commmitting the fouled play, and did not have rubber arms and Bruhmaninho kicked the shit out of an uninformed Robin Sierra, @ethanjaeda. Although the Saskatoon luck was not enough to come up with a victory as Halifax goaltender, Joe Webber III, was all jacked up on juice and stopped every puck that went at him. All of these allegations were found to be factual and everything has been turned over to VHL Commissioners, @Beketov, @Acydburn, and @Josh, who requested a $1000.00 filing fee, which was paid in small unmarked bills to Josh, as directed. We will all have to wait for games 296 and 331 to take place to determine if the commissioners did their jobs or if lucyxpher has juice and everything was overlooked. I can only hope that by the time playoffs start the moon is no longer aligned with the sun, the birds are singing again, the squirrels found their nuts, and the Halifax curse no longer exists. 1261 words To be claimed 04-21 and 04-28.

His middle name is Eunuch. Should explain everything.

No doubt Logan Ninefingers was behind this chicanery. I bet you’ll find empty white claws in the Vancouver locker room. @Frank you gotta put a stop to this quickly. Ninefingers is a bad influence on the other rookies. Make @Scurvy watch Brad Marchand highlights, it will be a self correcting problem.

1. Happy theme week, everyone! What do you think of this season’s theme: rebrand? I like it. Lots of ideas from people. 2. Now that we’re halfway through the season, are we performing as you’ve expected? Since I’m crashing your press conference, I’d say the team performance is not even close to what I expect from Davos. Step it up. 3. The rebuild is still going strong. Any draftees in the upcoming class catch your interest to add to our squad? Haven’t paid too much attention to that so I guess I have to say it’s up to Alex. 4. If you had the duties of coming up with a theme week topic, what would you choose for it? It would be how to make TPE earning easier. And WTF is up with these screwball trivia questions. 5. How many goals and assists has your player scored this season? Not sure, I haven’t looked at season stats. I only look at game results if we won or not, then if I hit anybody, blocked shots, and got in fight. If I got in fight, then I would look for the Gordy Howe!! 6. Predict the NA and EU conference champion! Toronto and Moscow 7. I went to a San Diego Gulls game last weekend! Have you ever gone to a professional hockey game live? Season tickets to Silvertips, but wife hogs the tickets. Couple NHL games. Prefer Tips, easier to get in and out of!! And cheaper. 8. How well would your player fare in an Easter egg hunt? He’d smash the eggs with a stick. Lives and breathes hockey. Nothing else.

1. The trade deadline is approaching next week, what area of the roster do we need to add to, or do we need to stay the course with the current group? Whatever the GM and AGM decide needs changing, if anything. 2. Who has been the MVP of the season so far for our team? Oliver Loo is doing pretty good so far. 3. Is it a surprise seeing the Pittsburgh Penguins get hot late in the season and move into the playoff race after spending most of the season out of it? Doesn’t surprise me at all because I like them only slightly better than Detroit. Anything to cause me misery and keep the Bruins from winning it all. 4. Which is more likely to win a Championship: a team who can score a ton, or a team who is stingy defensively? Both. In the end, gotta outscore everyone. 5. Will you be participating in any eclipse festivities today? Absolutely. I will be trying to get my wife to look directly into the eclipse because I heard that she could turn into Selma Hayak. 6. Which is better: a total solar eclipse, or a total eclipse of the heart? A total eclipse of the heart can last longer so gonna go with that one.

Thanks for the nice words. Appreciate it.

Graphic Review Doing this review for the 1 tpe because I got a trivia question wrong. The size of the graphic is really good because you have a lot to include and your dimensions and symmetry make the the graphic appealing. I especially like the storm created with the lettering as they move in the graphic. Only thunder audio is missing. This graphic is the first one I’ve seen of yours, so I don’t know how talented you are, but it appears that you are experienced enough to include complexities to your graphic, which I appreciate. The color combination in the background is fitting for the graphic and the shapes create a background that makes it a realistic backdrop of crappy weather. The words involved in the storm give the added effect of unpredictable weather! I like the logos on the outside of the storm and their size are symmetrical to the graphic. The red lettering doesn’t match the shade of the logos which gives it enough contrast to separate the graphic experience. You did a really good job with this graphic. Score 9/10

Half way through the VHL season, its time to take a look at Rip Wheeler and Logan Ninefingers again. The disappointment of Wheeler, @ScottyP, has dissipated this season as he seems to be getting more involved and producing some team playing numbers. And Logan Ninefingers, @Scurvy, the promising rookie started off the season incredibly slow, now appears to be adding some contribution to his team. The contrast between the two players is incredible. Starting with Rip Wheeler, his numbers are up, he’s hitting more, getting in the way of shots, and passing the puck to teammates to score. Wheeler is surrounded by solid players, which could be the main factor in his success this season. Off the ice, Wheeler is going through the motions with his improvement. Barely adding to his TPE, Wheeler is not expected to step up to the next level anytime soon. Logan Ninefingers, on the other hand, works his ass off every week off the ice, building TPE at max pace, and working on his skills to be the best player he can be. Also surrounded by good players, Ninefingers is headed in the right direction in his hockey career. Just like IRL, Rip Wheeler holds on to the coattails of others while Logan Ninefingers strives to excel and outperform. No surprise there! 219 words

What timing to have a “rebrand” theme week! Yesterday I completed my media spot to post this morning to go for two weeks and it involves Saskatoon’s nemesis, Halifax 21st, and then theme week comes out to talk about rebranding. So it looks like @LucyXpher, the spectacular GM for Halifax, will have to wait a week to find out the details of what was discovered as the reason Saskatoon cannot win over Halifax. I gotta be honest, I tried to think of a reason to rebrand Halifax and maybe it would change the outcome of the Saskatoon games but the logo is great, the team name is fitting, and there’s nothing to complain about. I checked out the VHLE and nothing stuck out to write about. I jumped to the VHL and thought about moving New York to Winnipeg, but it just didnt pan out. So… I had to go back to the VHLM. One team kept catching my eyes, and that team is the Las Vegas Aces. For anyone who has been involved with the Las Vegas Aces, you are well aware of the team member who is the rock of Las Vegas. The team member is Juan Ceson, who played eight seasons with the Las Vegas Aces. Juan Ceson, The current AGM for Las Vegas, @dylanjj37 put Las Vegas on the map. It wasn’t just with the style of play by Juan Ceson, or what he did on the ice. It was what Juan Ceson means to Las Vegas off the ice. During his time with Las Vegas, Juan Ceson rebranded Las Vegas through his generosity and endless amount of money. For example, the Juan Ceson Hotel and Resort is now the biggest and most popular resort in Vegas. People come from all over the world to stay at the Juan Ceson Castle. And then there is Juan Ceson Boulevard, where you can find all types of attractions, to include activities for the young and old, the daring and the passive, as well as the athletic and the docile. The Juan Ceson Hockey Arena, a state of the art facility that was built by Juan Ceson, and donated to the city out of the goodness of his heart, is the current home ice for Las Vegas. One can find all sorts of memorabilia at the Juan Ceson store inside the arena. Up and down Juan Ceson Boulevard, people are clothed in Juan Ceson sports wear. Riding in the Juan Ceson Uber cars, which include an assortment of vehicles owned by Juan Ceson, including Porsches, Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, and Teslas. I could go on and on about Juan Ceson’s philanthropic work, but there is one that has stuck out for eight seasons and has always been his most treasured place to go. Discussions on discord have sometimes gone on and on with several people giving input, and the focus often came back to Juan Ceson’s favorite pet, his pony. The Juan Ceson Zoo is home to his pony. For these reasons, the Las Vegas Aces are to be rebranded the Las Vegas Ponies. If I had any talent at all with graphics, a pony would be the centerpiece of the logo, but not just any pony. It would be Juan Ceson’s pony, which changes color depending on Juan Ceson’s mood. 554 words

Congrats @Scurvy . That was a killer article. Well written and every word deserved. You are a monster and Brian Payne’s career was incredible. Good Job. You deserved it…. @leandrofg nice work. You definitely did some research.

Great career Payne. Real classy drinking whiteclaws outside Curves in your spandex.

Something you’ll never hear from @ScottyP

Happy birthday Victor!!

Could you get him to slow down against Saskatoon please?

1. Happy belated April Fools! Any jokes stick out to you on the forum or elsewhere on April 1st? Not at liberty to divulge that information. 2. How big of an impact do you think the STHS tweak to goalies has had so far? So big, that the future of goalies in the VHL is in jeopardy.. 3. How is your VHFL/Super Coach team doing, if participating? If not, any particular reason why you didn’t sign up this season? I havent even checked. I’m guaranteed to get 1 tpe, anything more is a bonus. 4. Did you get your VHL predictions in on time for this season? Ah shit. I gotta look. I might have forgotten to finish it. I was waiting to copy Alex’s but didnt do it. 5. If your player was an animal, what would they be? A shark, what else? 6. What is your favorite thing about the sim league experience? Bashing @Scurvy 7. What is your favorite song currently? La Reina del Sur 8. Have you ever traveled internationally? If so, to what countries? USA , Canada , Mexico. That’s enough

1. Following our 9-3-0 start, we're just 7-7-1 since, giving us a 16-10-1 record. What do we need to do to get back to playing the way that we were at the start of the season? shoot more, score more, and dont let the other team score as much! 2. Are you a fan of April Fools Day jokes/pranks? Its all in good fun, sometimes! I dish things out so gotta take it too. 3. Our goalies are both in the top 8 in goals against average and save percentage. Would you stick with a full rotation where they each play every other game, or do you think somebody needs to get the net for a long run? That’s up to the GM. We have two really good goalies. Works for the Bruins 4. What TV show are you currently watching? Beverly Hillbillies 5. Leo Neelson III will be tied for the most games played in Saskatoon history at the end of the season. What should the team be doing to acknowledge that incredible feat? Pizza party 6. Would you change the NHL's current overtime rules of 5 minutes of 3-on-3 followed by a shootout? well…. My wife hates shootouts. She gets so nervous. So that being said, I like the way it is right now.

Ha ha.. i did too!!

Of course!!

Of Course….

The Saskatoon Wild question and answer segment is officially activated. The first player to make a guest appearance is Lazlo Holmes, @Gustav , the star defenseman drafted 3rd in this season’s VHLM draft. Holmes popped into the studio and he had a lot to say, albeit they were mostly one-liners, but nevertheless Holmes was informative, open, and honest. This summarizes the Q&A segment. Q - Lazlo, what is the biggest piece of advice you can provide newcomers to the VHL, and playing in the VHLM? A- “It ain’t easy being green.” Q - Could you elaborate on that a little please? I mean you are relatively new, that’s true, but you are a superstar and a promising prospect to the VHL, likely to be the #1 overall pick in the season 94 VHL draft. Is there anything that could hamper your chances of being selected first overall? A - “Being forcibly removed from the Walmart Deli.” Q - I see, thanks for being honest. Now, back to hockey, is there anything that interrupts your hockey progress that you can readily identify? A - “Being really bored on Sundays.” Q - Oh really, that’s too bad. How do you overcome this boredom so that you are back to focusing on hockey? A - “Descaling a coffee machine, and being disgusted by myself.” Q - Well, to each his own I suppose. Now, your knowledge of VHL hockey is a proven commodity and you are definitely a legend due to your experience and success. Is there anything that has ever frustrated you enough to cause you to rethink your time in the VHL? A - “Getting incredibly offended by GM’s who dont take my GM suggestions.” Q - I see. Thank you. Now, what is your favorite thing to do in between games? A - “Rockin the suburbs.” Q - Interesting. The last question, what would you be doing if you weren’t playing hockey? A - “Ballin’,” Thank you Lazlo Holmes, that ends the Saskatoon Wild Q&A segment. 326 words

Claim week 4/4

Happy birthday @Victor