Thunder

Get @LucyXpher on your podcast as a guest!!!

Peace!!!!

You guys are getting better every time. Well done.

Coolest chap on the club!!

5 AM?? Berocka is up bright and early!!

Little trouble Exactly!! Those numbers will make you top goalie for sure. Nicely done.

Offensive???? Nah!!

Drop the gloves gladiator!!

There are some rumors going around that @STZ is responsible for the STHS being manipulated to give Calgary a clear advantage over every other team in the VHL, including FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY Analfist’s team, the New York Americans. At first glance, I’d have to agree with the rumors; I mean how else does a team win the first eleven games of the season, and out score opponents 42 to 25. As of today, Calgary has only 58 penalty minutes, with a third being responsible by Joe Block, @jblock3. And then there is the Calgary goalie, David Slezak, @ShawnGlade, who is a VHL rookie, and seems to be having little trouble securing victories for Calgary. Slezak has all GM’s looking at his career in the VHLE, and they are now thinking that VHLE experience could be fruitful to long term success of players. Luckily for STZ, a more comprehensive look into these rumors have proven that he and his circus monkey have not been directly involved in the manipulation of the STHS and the giving of the Calgary Wranglers a clear advantage over the other teams, and furthermore, STHS has promised to refrain from further illegal actions giving Calgary an advantage. In fact, FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY Analfist has guaranteed that wwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwww, @rory, will be next week’s goalie of the week. 218 words

Claim 2/4

1. Did naming of the captains surprise you? Why or Why not? Not at all, the team is stacked with talent and leaders. There is a benefit to having this chemistry on the team. 2. Do you think Vancouver Wolves need to make a trade to shake things up? What trade would you be looking to make? That is completely up to GM Frank. He knows his shit and what to do. As far as me making a trade, I’d trade Rip Wheeler, not because he sucks but because Riley Martin and Logan Ninefingers have pent up frustration not being able to punch Wheeler’s face in because they are all on the same team. 3. Calgary is perfect so is this just an STHS smoke job or are we being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY? Explain your theory? Firstly, Calgary is not perfect. We got them right where we want them. Cocky and arrogant. When the circus monkey starts playing the music, expect to see STHS to get real and Calgary will fall to the bottom of the monkey barrel. 4. Am not sure since I think most of us are blind but did you notice the Portal changed? What do you think and what do you like or hate about the changes? I like the change and the quick access to current team stats. I also like seeing all players listed on a name. 5. Where do you think Vancouver finish in the standings this season? At the top. Where else? 6. Who has been the most impressive player for the Wolves? Why? This is a team sport and players step up because of the teammates helping them. Right now I like to see Logan playing the way he’s playing and I am impressed with Guntis crushing the shit out of opponents. Got some heavy hitting from Liv Slater and Mark Calaway too. 7. Bonus: Have you even been in a Earthquake? And how would you explain it to someone that hasn`t? Been in a few. It feels longer than it really is. I’m not sure which ones I prefer, the rollers or the jabbing ones. Just before the earthquake, the animals do weird things but you dont realize it until its too late!!

Who he played for isnt important

Juan Ceson is my favorite!!

Piece of cake

FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY is the goat of names!!

I think if it was considered not appropriate, they would have taken that name down long ago. You did good holding back though..

Ha ha. You so wanted to say that name didnt you!!!! You kept scrolling over it!!!! I thought you were going to announce as your top pick. Fisted Analy by a circus monkey!!! @STZ cracks me up with that name.

1. S94 is officially underway! What are your initial thoughts about how Davos has done so far? Did Davos play? oh shoot I missed it. 2. As per tradition, what is your one bold prediction for the season? David Jokinen will win an award. 3. Do you expect our team to fight for a playoff position this season? Fight? No. Davos will make the playoffs without a fight. 4. Are you participating in VHFL and/or Super Coach? Of course. Someone has to suck so bad at it to make @ScottyPlook good. 5. What is one piece of advice you would give to a first gen player just starting out in the league? Enjoy the games and discord. Fights are fun. Put all your TPE into fighting. 6. Do you believe defense wins championships? Scoring more than the opponent wins championships. Goalies help a lot on defense! 7. Which shot is more difficult for a goaltender to stop: a wrist shot or a slapshot? Slapper sends the heat but a wrist shot is tricky. Ask a goalie. 8. Of the remaining teams in the NHL playoffs, who do you believe will win the Stanley Cup? Unfortunately I believe New York will win. But if you asked who I wanted to win, I’d say Boston.

You guys putting another one out soon?

Looking forward to Felicia’s success. Definite HOF in the making.

Spartan didnt say much

1. If you're new to Oslo, what is your first impressions of the city? If you've been here, is there a spot in the city you would recommend to a rookie? Thanks for letting me join your press conference. I recommend fans just bring a crying bucket when Bratislava comes to town and beats their ass. It will make going home in a pouting mood easier. 2. Do you have any individual goals set for yourself this season? What about your career overall? Just want to do my best to help Bratislava win it all. 3. Would you rather a team's management announce captains for the team, or the team hold a vote as to who those captains should be? No opinion on that. 4. Do you have any hockey superstitions? I have to wear a freshly washed and air dried jock strap. Same with socks. 5. What is your go-to pre-game meal? PBJ, and if there is no jelly, then a fluffanutter sandwich on fresh white bread. 6. The NHL is down to 4 teams - Edmonton, Dallas, New York Rangers, and Florida Panthers. Plain and simple, who is winning the 2024 Stanley Cup? Probably Rangers but I’d like Panthers or Oilers to win, especially since Boston lost,

1. The VHLE draft is over and S94 is set to begin. What are you most excited about in this new season? Thanks for letting me join your press conference. I’m looking forward to Bratislava winning it all. 2. What was the biggest surprise in any of the S94 drafts? Nothing really came as a surprise. The GM’s are really good and they know what they are doing. 3. What do you hope to accomplish in this season? Just want to help Bratislava win the cup. 4. What is one unique thing about yourself that you want the fans to know? PBJ sandwiches are great 5. What is one place/activity that you want to experience during your time in Stockholm? When I come to Stockholm, I would like Bratislava to kick ass. 6. What do you want/expect out of Vikings management? When you play Bratislava, just forfeit and save time. 7. Anything else you want to say? Good luck!

Looking forward to the bite sized next.

Now gotta wait 3 weeks???? Come on man…