JardyB10

If you can even make it a few weeks

Take your time @youloser1337! You’re a gem for always putting these out, a true winner in my book.

D Lamb and D Luca, I smell a MULTI! jk, welcome to the league!

I also want to smash my head into a wall when I speak I’m glad I finally got a chance to listen to this, I always love these reviews! A hairy man, amirite?

More like Vincent Laroche WINNING

I was trying to be as racist to Swedes as possible @Shindigs. And it sounds silly. I should make uncomfortable commercials more of a thing, but I didn’t even have time to edit in music, so a commercial definitely wasn’t happening!

Tonight the VHLE had to #DreadTheFred @TownBizness

If they're PUSSY ASS BITCHES owners will buy little booties, yeah. Many of the mutts and medium to long haired breeds here I think are well enough adapted or distracted to skip the boots though. Also snow trails are more forgiving than paved trails or sidewalks. Also in my limited experience, I find dog boots have trouble staying on, and dogs aren't always that comfortable with them. Dog jackets are common on short-haired breeds here though. I can PRONOUNCE my player name flawlessly, I'm just bound to trip over it if I try too earnestly, so I embrace the trip! I've already committed to doing the community dishes while I hang out!

- Record louder you piece of shit, how dare you multi task and not pay attention to the INTEGRITY OF THE PODCAST!!! (but for real I can only hear it when everything is max volume) - My suggestion for the BOG is to have focused and decisive discussions! - I listened to the full length. I'll do a long drive Friday so I can listen to the other long podcasts in my queue as well. - Classic BOG member having NOTHING TO REALLY SAY - Classic Australian podcast with magpies squawking in the background - I actually just tagged you in a new carrot-eating podcast.

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* I'm walking with my bitches. https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Hecking-Podcast--Season-3-Episode-1-Worst-Season-Premiere-Ever-e1um2ch My first Hecking Podcast of 2023, which I recorded last week. I mostly discuss the staffing of our vhlportal.com, and by discuss I mean have unfettered, uneducated thoughts. I then talk about how awesome having a VHLE lifer is and how anyone should do it. 0:00-2:00: Preamble 2:00-3:12: The increased age and responsibilities of current portal staff @Josh and @Dil. I also suffer a head injury 3:12-4:15: The specialized knowledge required to work on the portal 4:15-5:50: Possibilities of being more proactive with portal staff and consequences of having none 5:50-6:50: Lessons from VHL history @fyo 6:50-8:10: Unlocking the limitless potential of the portal, but mostly gushing about dogs 8:10-8:30: IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER ABOUT MY PODCASTS 8:30-10:30: Vague portal ideas/end of portal thoughts ~PIVOT TO VHLE THINGS~ 10:45-End: The benefits of creating a VHLE lifer, and the VHLE in general (Spoilers: It's a pseudo-retirement!) @Berocka skip right to this part if you don't want to listen to everything!

BIIIIIG MOTHERFUCKING RIIGGGGGGGS

I'm just pleased to hear that you're planning on having three players in the league! I love you too.

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* It was -30 C before the wind as it turns out, even listening will give you frostbite. https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Nodesode-47-Experiencing-the-E-e1um1k8 In this episode I am once again walking dogs, only it was a week ago and I forgot to post it last week. It cuts out abruptly near the end because the cold killed my phone battery, obviously. I discuss: - VHLE Competition - Collecting Pension as a VHLE lifer - Earning TPE and spending contract money as a VHLE lifer - EXPERIENCING THE E Mentions: I don't think anybody

1. Los Angeles Sports Broadcast show called out LA Stars Captaincy trio after a video surfaced with them all relaxing in a hottub few hours before the puck drop, they called them "unprofessional, disgraceful and not with the hockey spirit" - your thoughts? Yeah that sounds about correct to me. If you're going to live in Los Angeles you have to embrace the slow moving Cali lifestyle, and the team leaders should be spearheading that lifestyle. 2. GM Gagnon has multiple times this week refused to answer any questions about teams performance saying - it will be a bad luck charm to go and talk about things like that. Do you believe there is a lot of supperstition in hockey? I refuse to comment on this question specifically, because THEORETICALLY we all know that discussing superstition out loud just makes your bad luck even worse. That's like saying the word "shutout" before the shutout is recorded. 3. Sunglasses Yoyo was quoted by York Times saying that "Stars LR is really supportive and inclusive while also making sure that there is a strict working mentality going on" - do you think having a LR like that is a bonus or a negative? It sounds horrible, I don't wanna work; I just want to bang on my drum all day. 4. Recently LA Stars have slowed down a bit and have had 1-1 simulations, do you think it is time to worry about those games or they are just something that is always bound to happen? 1-1 simulations aren't too bad at all, because it's verbally similar to "1 on 1 stimulations," which I find to be a very wonderful thing indeed. 5. Scoish and few other players have actively called for a new "VHLPA" to emerge to represent player rights, do you think VHL needs a VHLPA when it is well known that previous projects have failed? No, it is very much right for league leaders to have uncontested authority over its players. Players and members are disgusting peons who deserve no rights at all, and should be treated as such. 6. Looking at your own performance this season, do you see yourself improving the pace on points, goals, other important statistics or do you feel you are right where you want to be? It would be good if my player performed at a higher level, and perhaps by playoffs he might. However, I did forget to post my Point Tasks last week, so that isn't going to go very far in improving mid-season. I'll cop my performance so far and keep looking forward to the future!

"Dropping a nut" kind of sounds like it could be a sex euphemism. Early podcast notes: I enjoy your voice, you sound like a Michael Keaton Batman. Or maybe you just sound like Michael Keaton. The more I think about it, the more I think you might actually be Michael Keaton, which is why you were so hesitant to reveal your voice - Walking and talking is in fact a trial. There's a reason I'm constantly distracted when recording those. I'm also extremely self-conscious about people walking by and what they might think, but at the same time I see people walking by talking on their phone through their airpods and I don't bat an eye or even at all try to hone in on what their talking about, so it's silly. - Gotta love gangly @ScottyP's post-play confidence - I do enjoy the shit talk. Maybe you should borrow @MubbleFubbles "Best Player on the Portal" idea slightly, and just shit talk all the players and members in the league slowly but surely. I'd tune into that. - I don't pay near enough attention to franchise records, that's really dope that Payne is such a predominant Predator! Yeah, you captured the perfect podcast in a nutshell! 1-2 minutes in one thinks, "how am I even going to go 5 minutes?" then suddenly 16 minutes goes by. Your TPE game will be at the tippy top now, no doubt.

You reached the top of the membership VHL hierarchy, so naturally the next step up on the average member was to enter a lifelong loving relationship with somebody. Kudos for trying to offset the negativity in your life with some positivity. I can't imagine how much of a nightmare much of this has been, and I know how easy it would be to slide into a depression hole due to that. Hope you're doing as well as possible

I’d prefer to call it FANCY WOOD brown. Or Cigar brown! We need a Geneva Rush colour swap now.

I don't know why, but I get so offended every time we lose to Geneva. In other news, ROM D1 and ROM C3 really stepped it up in Game 81.

Sure

Hell yeah all the top teams getting Cobbered tonight!

Minor league legend.

No offence, but you're the worst sandwich of all time. But hopefully one of the greatest VHL players?

I've also been slacking with extra TPE. Not that I don't care, but I just have slipping time and activity. I missed VHFL this season, which is too bad, because that's 1-6 TPE I missed out on! Though I guess I'm capping at 400 anyway... I've been on a Berocka marathon to catch up for the biggest MegaBite of your life!

Express Press Conference (Week Ending February 5th) Answering three questions gets you 1 Capped TPE Answering six questions gets you 2 Capped TPE 1. We are now a week into the season. How do you feel about the team? Even better than I did going into the season! We've been winning plenty, and outshooting our opponents almost every game, so that's a great sign! Of course we can always end up getting swept in the playoffs, but regular season should be a good time. 2. What about the VHLE. Are there any clear favorites already? I suppose the favourites aren't CLEAR, and I'm biased, but I think Cologne is doing the best! And we have the power of double Cobbersons, so we're unstoppable. @David Cobberson @Hendrix Cobberson 3. Do you have a favorite player in the VHL? I like Saku Kotkakoivu, the player concept is cool, @DollarAndADream is cool, and he's been an unreal and consistent player his whole career. 4. What's your pregame routine? I eat spaghetti and throw the leftovers at the crowd of transients I have chained up in my basement. 5. The Super Bowl is set. Who's winning, the Eagles or the Chiefs? Damn, that was quick. I suppose the Eagles, because I don't know what I'm talking about? 6. If you decide to describe yourself as indecisive, are you decisive or indecisive? I mean even indecisive people have to make decisions. It's not that we DON'T EVER make decisions, it's that every decision takes forever and is much hemming and hawwing. Also, as a Libra, the stars determined that I'm indecisive as fuck, and they happen to be correct in that. So *I* didn't even decide, the constellations did.

No better time to party than a Monday!