JardyB10

"Dropping a nut" kind of sounds like it could be a sex euphemism. Early podcast notes: I enjoy your voice, you sound like a Michael Keaton Batman. Or maybe you just sound like Michael Keaton. The more I think about it, the more I think you might actually be Michael Keaton, which is why you were so hesitant to reveal your voice - Walking and talking is in fact a trial. There's a reason I'm constantly distracted when recording those. I'm also extremely self-conscious about people walking by and what they might think, but at the same time I see people walking by talking on their phone through their airpods and I don't bat an eye or even at all try to hone in on what their talking about, so it's silly. - Gotta love gangly @ScottyP's post-play confidence - I do enjoy the shit talk. Maybe you should borrow @MubbleFubbles "Best Player on the Portal" idea slightly, and just shit talk all the players and members in the league slowly but surely. I'd tune into that. - I don't pay near enough attention to franchise records, that's really dope that Payne is such a predominant Predator! Yeah, you captured the perfect podcast in a nutshell! 1-2 minutes in one thinks, "how am I even going to go 5 minutes?" then suddenly 16 minutes goes by. Your TPE game will be at the tippy top now, no doubt.

You reached the top of the membership VHL hierarchy, so naturally the next step up on the average member was to enter a lifelong loving relationship with somebody. Kudos for trying to offset the negativity in your life with some positivity. I can't imagine how much of a nightmare much of this has been, and I know how easy it would be to slide into a depression hole due to that. Hope you're doing as well as possible

I’d prefer to call it FANCY WOOD brown. Or Cigar brown! We need a Geneva Rush colour swap now.

I don't know why, but I get so offended every time we lose to Geneva. In other news, ROM D1 and ROM C3 really stepped it up in Game 81.

Sure

Hell yeah all the top teams getting Cobbered tonight!

Minor league legend.

No offence, but you're the worst sandwich of all time. But hopefully one of the greatest VHL players?

I've also been slacking with extra TPE. Not that I don't care, but I just have slipping time and activity. I missed VHFL this season, which is too bad, because that's 1-6 TPE I missed out on! Though I guess I'm capping at 400 anyway... I've been on a Berocka marathon to catch up for the biggest MegaBite of your life!

Express Press Conference (Week Ending February 5th) Answering three questions gets you 1 Capped TPE Answering six questions gets you 2 Capped TPE 1. We are now a week into the season. How do you feel about the team? Even better than I did going into the season! We've been winning plenty, and outshooting our opponents almost every game, so that's a great sign! Of course we can always end up getting swept in the playoffs, but regular season should be a good time. 2. What about the VHLE. Are there any clear favorites already? I suppose the favourites aren't CLEAR, and I'm biased, but I think Cologne is doing the best! And we have the power of double Cobbersons, so we're unstoppable. @David Cobberson @Hendrix Cobberson 3. Do you have a favorite player in the VHL? I like Saku Kotkakoivu, the player concept is cool, @DollarAndADream is cool, and he's been an unreal and consistent player his whole career. 4. What's your pregame routine? I eat spaghetti and throw the leftovers at the crowd of transients I have chained up in my basement. 5. The Super Bowl is set. Who's winning, the Eagles or the Chiefs? Damn, that was quick. I suppose the Eagles, because I don't know what I'm talking about? 6. If you decide to describe yourself as indecisive, are you decisive or indecisive? I mean even indecisive people have to make decisions. It's not that we DON'T EVER make decisions, it's that every decision takes forever and is much hemming and hawwing. Also, as a Libra, the stars determined that I'm indecisive as fuck, and they happen to be correct in that. So *I* didn't even decide, the constellations did.

No better time to party than a Monday!

Thanks @scoop for taking that penalty 9 seconds after our PP goal! It allowed old Bjorkbjorkbjorkbjork to get the GWG!

I did a podcast for EFL Media Week a season or two ago where I was in fact walking dogs. It was much easier, because I brought them to the off-leash park and walked in the bush trail, which was rather isolated. Of course this didn’t stop me from constantly getting distracted. “My dog is going apeshit over a stick and is rolling in the snow and she’s so fucking adorable. Anyway, football is a sport.” Anyway, for apps you can literally use anything. Anchor.fm is great for uploading it, as it will upload automatically to Anchor itself, Spotify, Apple, and probably other platforms too if you want it to. You can also record directly on/to Anchor, so that’s handy. I personally use an Apple app called “AVR X” to record off my phone. For Nodesodes, there’s no reason for me to do this, since I do not ever edit them. But for Hecking Podcasts, I’ll upload the tracks onto Dropbox to quickly/easily get them to my computer, and then use Audacity to edit in music and whatever else I feel like editing, which is generally not a lot. My #1 general podcasting tip (for solo podcasting anyway), is frequent and shameless pausing of recording. I may sound seamless oftentimes, so you’ll often hear something like, ”Jake Thunder seems to be having a great season, he’s leading the league in defenceman points and SB and fights, and has already set personal bests in all those categories so far this season.” But in reality that sentence actually sounds like, “Jake Thunder seems to be having a great season… [PAUSE as I spend a few minutes quietly scanning the league leaderboards. UNPAUSE] he’s leading the league in defenceman points and SB and fights… [PAUSE as I spend a couple minutes clicking on the player page and scanning his past season performances. UNPAUSE], and has already set personal bests in all those categories so far this season.” Tip #2 is to sound confident in things that you don’t know for sure. “Oh man, Brian Payne got four hooking penalties in the first 10 minutes of the game, that’s gotta be a record!” It sounds good, and better yet, maybe someone corrects you, and that’s interaction with your Point Task, baby!

I have been dishonest with a traditionally red fruit. (Apple lied) If I don’t get the job I will know that the league is ageist.

Should have named him Pete imo, the first overall draft pick of the Blue Bombers.

That Wiley almost got a bit too Wiley again. #FuckVasteras

https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Nodesode-45-Welcome-ScottyP-e1u50qm In today’s episode, I welcome @ScottyP three days ago and demonstrate how easy and sloppy earning TPE is. Mostly, I’m just managing my cat though. @Thunder @Scurvy

Fuck Vasteras

And don’t forget to blame Cole.

The Cobbersons are clobbering, son. Also trains > longships, dwi

@BOOM I guess it was your birthday too. Which I suppose was a couple days ago now in Downunderland. Hope you’re fucking happy. You’re both very old now.

HBDOD

I agree with this statement except the part about your friends being good. The upcoming season (i.e. the one starting today), you'll be in the VHLM (the Minors). Next season will depend on how much TPE you earn, but the VHLE (Europe) seems most likely. For reference, players with 30-199 TPE in the off-season will play in the VHLM. Players with 200-399 TPE will play in the VHLE (though I think at 350+ they have the option of going to the bigs). Finally, any player above 400 TPE will be in the VHL! Don't worry too much about any of those numbers for now though. Same! I'm a frequent podcaster, and I enjoy the medium because they REALLY can be pointless. My format is often 1-5 minutes talking about what I am currently doing in that very moment, then 10-55 minutes of stream of conscience ranting about whatever I happen to be looking at or thinking about. It's cool. Though certainly can also be achieved in writing if you're a COWARD @Thunder. Anyway, hope you enjoy the VHL! It can be a real groovy experience, and earning TPE can come naturally at a certain point. In fact, observe as I seamlessly transition this normal reply I wasn't intending to make for TPE into a review for 1 TPE: I always thoroughly enjoy reading Media Spots in this format; that is, a genuine human reaction/first impressions of the league. It's valuable to veteran and rookie members alike, as it gives the former a reminder of what being a new member is like, and shows the latter that they are not alone in the ubiquitous "I just joined this sim league and there it is overwhelming" experience. In the future, you may be able to write Media from a more roleplaying perspective, or a statistical analysis perspective. Or whatever you want really. Back in the day, it was literally valued to add colours and formatting and photos to Media Spots, which can make the article more aesthetically pleasing to look at. This isn't required though, and I encourage members to do whatever is easiest and most comfortable for them. Hence why I earn TPE while driving. Anyway, 10/10, welcome to the league. EDIT: I originally opened this article just to say "Rip is Ready... and I hope he's ready to rip."

Express Press Conference (Week Ending January 29th) 1. What are your expectations for the team entering the season ? I haven't looked at all the teams for a week or so now and I know there's been some changes, but I think we should be a slam dunk playoff squad this season. Ren Cup Finals or bust. 2. What are your expectations for your player this season ? I'll be pleased with a mediocre season. I think Bjork is starting the season with the lowest TPE on a team with 7 forward, i.e. the worst forward with the least ice time. But he'll work his way up the depth chart by playoffs. 3- Who do you think will win the VHL Oh that's as up in the air as it's ever been. I'll go with my perennial hope in the Calgary Wranglers. 4- What’s your favorite sport team ?( All sports ) I suppose the Calgary Wranglers . But for real, it would have to be the Edmonton Oilers. 5-Is there anyone particular that’s been helpful to you since you arrived in the VHL that you’d like to thank/acknowledge? I can't remember anymore. @Victor was always good shit. @Spartan is a modern day saint. Everyone else is dogshit. 6- do you have any question ideas for next week Press conference ? First of all, I fully encourage you to submit any and all answers to this question as next week's press conference. Second of all, "If you could re-locate one VHLE team to Gothenburg, which would it be?"

This is wholesome as fuck. "My son, if you tell me where I can find the answers for my trivia questions you can stay up an hour past your curfew."