JardyB10

1. Make a convincing argument for the best time of day to eat breakfast. Whenever you first feel hungry after your day begins. Ideally, this would be close to noon. That way you can have a brunch, and you're saving money and calories by having skipped an entire meal. It is 100% good for you, doctor guaranteed. 2. What is the best thing that happened to you today or this week? "nothing" is not an acceptable answer, I need optimism and details Well it's only Tuesday, you're really setting expectations for the week high. I suppose yesterday I worked a 16.5 hour day, which I've decided to translate into a day off today 3. You're sitting in a living room with your teammates. There's a couch, the floor is carpeted, kitchen chairs not far away, and a couple bean bags. Where do you sit, and why? There's a lot of factors in making this decision. If it's a big ass beanbag that I can just sprawl on, maybe I beeline it for that. Otherwise, I'm fairly polite and will let others choose their preferred seating before selecting mine. All things being equal though, I probably go for the couch because I like soft seating. However, if there's a dog in the room I'm inclined to lay on the carpet with it. 4. You have the option to rebrand in the VHL without anyone remembering who your previous persona was. Do you take it? If so, what direction are you taking? If not, how would you describe your current brand? I suppose it would be nice to undo some of my more problematic posts in the past, but otherwise I'm fairly pleased with my brand then and now. I'd describe it as fun and carefree! I'm like whatshisface from The Outsiders, the one who could pull off stealing a gun from a police officer without getting arrested or the shit beaten out of him. 5. Did you do predictions? If so, how are you feeling about them now that the season has come to life? If not, why not? You scared? come on bro Yeah, I've been historically pretty shit at predictions. I'd say they're going pretty poorly so far, I picked Duncan Idaho for a lot and he's been overshadowed by a number of people so far. I also keep forgetting about Battre Sandstrom so I don't think I picked him for anything because I'm a moron. Also I'm plagiarizing this question for my own Press Conference, fight me. 6. Any VHFL sleeper picks you're predicting that you haven't seen anyone else mention, that someone else mentioned and they're onto something, or that's now a bandwagon you started? No. 7. What does your optimal Saturday look like? How is that different from what your player would say? My optimal Saturday would be 72 hours long. I'd sleep/lay in bed until I felt like getting up, go for a tasty brunch, maybe have some mimosas. Then I'd like to send a sunny afternoon and evening hanging out with my friends, maybe BBQing and playing lawn games. Poopy Peepants would probably spend a lot of his free time reading comic books and perusing deviantart. 8. What is the best or worst light source? Make an impassioned argument. I need many exclamation points You think the Sun is pretty fucking great don't you? Well it's hard to argue that, it provides us with warmth (which I love), and generally light (which is also rad). It's essential to all life I suppose. HOWEVER! HAVE! YOU! EVER! TRIED! DRIVING! INTO! A! SUNRISE! OR! SUNSET!? IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!! You're subject to km after km after mile of DIRECT RADIATION TO YOUR EYEBALLS and it feels BAD man! You can have some nice and effective sunglasses on but it doesn't do enough for the fact that you can't see SHIT while doing THE SINGLE MOST DANGEROUS DAY-TO-DAY ACTIVITY POSSIBLE, all while getting an ever increasing headache!!!! Add a dusty interior windshield into the mix that you otherwise can't even notice, and you have the worst possible living conditions known to all of humankind! FUCK THE SUN!!!!!

Claimed @Spartan Can you provide a non-embedded link by chance? The embed makes me want to die a little.

Welcome back dude!

The ‘gram stories and other social media posts! Every single one was like “JardyB10 needs to stay inside and stop spreading COVID, until there is a worthy cause like a protest.” And I thought, “Damn, these targeted ads are getting really aggressive!”

After a Google it might be that I flip flopped those two things, haha. First people screamed at me to stay home or I’m a selfish dink, THEN I was told to mask up and protest or I’m a selfish dink.

I prefer the term slacktivism because it’s more clever. I’m mostly with you, I’ve always found the social media trends like these to be a bit of a pat on one’s own back. But to be fair, I think it’s well enough to colour a logo for a holiday or a cause just for funsies. And speaking as someone who comes from a pretty redneck community, I can also see how a large wave of rainbow coloured social pressure can be helpful to give people some pause on their shitty opinions. But THAT said, social pressure is a double edged blade and can lead to what feels like a mob mentality at times. Back when all the George Floyd incited protests were going on, I remember my Instagram feed being HAMMERED with BLM, ACAB, etc posts. Most notably, there was a very strong rhetoric going on that was to the effect of “If you’re donating to a reputable related cause, or actively protesting in the streets, or (and this one got me) using your social media presence to influence change, you’re basically a racist.” It was quite aggressive, and I didn’t think it was fair. A VERY short time later, the pandemic arrived and most the world was on lockdown. And suddenly, THE VERY SAME people who were spamming the “go out and protest or you’re a piece of shit” type posts then turned into “Stop being a selfish piece of shit and stay the fuck home you ignorant dogs.” To me, not only did it feel hypocritical, but I also felt it exposed aren’t necessarily thinking critically about the issues going on, but were just reposting passionately aggressive stories because that was the thing to do. Anyway, I don’t know if I can definitively claim that slacktivism is useless, but I’m not a big fan all the same.

Claiming Week #2 (Week ending May 1, 2022)

HOW ABOUT THE RUSSIANS PRESENTLY MENACING UKRAINE!?

Nah I’m leaving the rock frying back home so I can LARP a roadside wizard.

Another 2-0 sim baby

2-0 SIM!! WE HAVE HUMBLED ONE OF THE WORST TEAMS IN THE LEAGUE! dragon.gif

Oh, I did not. But I’m mostly done site #1, which was the longer job, so that’s good?

That did cross my mind while listening, but low key shaming you seemed a great option either way.

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* Or not, I don’t think the language got that filthy this time. https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Nodesode-18-Biggest-Draft-Steal-of-S79-e1hl74k Hey! Thanks for coming to this thread. Here’s some very approximate time stamps where mentions occur. 0:00 - 1:30: Intro and pirate things @MubbleFubbles 1:30 - 5:20: Speaking of my failures at work 5:20 - End: The Draft Steal of S79 @TheNeonShaman @rjfryman @Spade18 @Agito

Chicago’s success is quite baffling! The players you have are solid, but you don’t even have two full lines so it makes no sense. It’s great! I picked BoJo over you because your offensive totals were similar in preseason and are similar now but he’s a defenceman so you’re basically garbage in comparison. Also, my pre preseason logic was that Bubbles Utonium would have been a safe pick being the only rookie who didn’t have to suffer from the hybrid attribute shift. #piratehype

It’s hard out there for us old fucks. At this rate Jokinen and Peepants will have played for every VHL team combined by the end of our careers.

I absolutely don’t. It requires very frequent pauses and strategic illegal activities.

By 3-4 years, yeah, I’m a ‘91 child. Even if you account my range of vagueness this isn’t true! You’re only close in the sense that your guess had a 4 in it

I’ve started the podcast now and I’m ready to do it. - Yeah duck the Earth, be mad at it. Don’t let it knock plants down! - Normally I’d say drafting a single team is a poor strat, but given that DC is the most mid based team of all time it’ll definitely work. - You’re essentially paperbagging @dasboot and @Berocka with Marvin. I don’t know if those were the forbidden tags. - Copy and paste your granny text to @Gustav’s thread, jeez. (Forbidden tag?) - lowercase on purpose? Who are you, league founder Kevin @brooks.? Also @STZ. Also I think he’s around our age. And when I say our age I mean more MY age, I think you might be a bit younger. - I can’t believe you canceled <REDACTED> for <REDACTED>. The sig thing is bullshit though. (If it was anyone else I might not have redacted it, but that dude sucks so I’m on board) - You could have just given it to the active player with the least PIMs! - Whatever secret you edited out was not obvious. Maybe just to you as the author. A: I’m a podcast floozie, so @Tate, @Berocka, @ctots, et al. I also love when @scoop does spreadsheet analysis but I likely miss most of it because it isn’t in podcast format, also he’s been doing graphics like some chump who values his own time.

A mention is a mention I don’t make the rules

They were very good, but it turns out I just say “fuck” a lot . Too much editing.

DCD G ruins everything again, tsk tsk

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* Though I really cleaned this one up courtesy of @fishy https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Hecking-Podcast--Episode-10-With-Special-Guests--Pt--5-Part-One-e1hk46d Welcome to the first part of Part 5 of the 10th episode of the 1st Season of Jardy's Hecking Podcast! Earlier this week I got @Berocka on the tele and we blathered incoherently for an hour or so. Some general subjects are Australian culture, Canadian culture, how to skip the VHLM, how Shindigs is actually Robbie Zimmers, and more! We also mention a number of people, so here's where and some of the context! 4:00 - @dasboot (One and a Half Aussies shoutout) 5:10 - @Arce @Beketov (Old People to Complete a Trifecta) 10:00 - @Dil @FrostBeard (Callum Murray's VHLE woes) 13:55 - @jRuutu (How to Podcast Properly) 15:15 - @Beaviss (First @ of the episode, Update Spotify Podcasts) 16:50 - @fishy (How to Be Responsible for Bringing Back Podcast Playlists, Followed by Jardy Completely Misunderstanding what Berocka Said) 17:30 - @fishy (Introducing the Censors) 23:05 - @Will3 (How to Ideally Draft VHFL Players) 23:45 - @Eso @Esso2264 (How Not to Pick VHFL Players) 30:10 - @Dil (Fuck Vasteras) 31:30 - @MMFLEX @oilmandan (Berocka's Experience in Other Sim Leagues) 32:10 - @Devise (Town of Gotham) 34:30 - @RomanesEuntDomus @Toast (The Loudest Members in the VHL) 35:10 - @Shindigs (Please Leave) 35:35 - @Beketov (Listen to Berocka More) 36:10 - @fonziGG @Spartan @Enorama (All These People Are the Same) 37:10 - @Zack (All VHLM GMs are the Same) 37:30 - @Bulduray_1 @BrutalBoost (All VHLM GMs are the Same) 39:10 - @dasboot (A Farewell Australia Podcast) 44:20 - @Beaviss @STZ (Stoners of the VHL) 53:00 - @Shindigs (You're Being Forced to Leave this Time) 55:30 - @Ben (The League's Best Multi) 56:30 - @Hendrix Cobberson (The League's Least Successful Multi) 57:40 - @Shindigs (Ultimate Multi Method) 59:20 - @dasboot (Write Berocka a Song Already) Make sure to join us for the second part next/this week where we will blather incoherently even more.

Oh I would never notice his broadcasts, nor take offence to that. I will gladly be the VHL podcast guy

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* There is a fairly high volume of foul language in this audio podcast program. https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Nodesode-17-Identity-Confusions-e1hjrca In today's "short" podcast, I present to you: Approximate timestamps! 0:00 - 2:30: I discuss/complain about my morning 2:30 - 5:20: Burger King breakfast sandwich review 5:40 - End: Shouting out the top TPE earners of the week! Also this was recorded on Friday morning so some of the numbers I mentioned aren't 100% accurate. Mentions: @JCarson @jacobcarson877 @leandrofg @Eynhallow @Steve @stevo I apologize in advance for the poor production quality of this program.