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How VHL has Helped Sam

samx

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samx

samx 1,114

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Not claiming this as an ms but didn’t know where to put it so it is going here.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot, I know surprising but I have come to realize something about how this league has affected me. For those who know me well this is known that I am a very bad socializer and I hate social situations as they stress me out. It has been something I’ve dealt with my whole life but always just kind of pushed it off. I would avoid people and wouldn’t talk to people I didn’t know at all costs. I literally just wouldn't talk to people at school and would just chill by myself in my own little world.  I promise this goes somewhere. Anyways when I first joined the league for probably the first 3 months I talked to maybe 4 people because everyone else terrified me. I slowly got better at talking to people and then left for a while but I came back. 

 

When I came back I was invited into the Moscow locker room on the draft night a draft I happened to be drafting for LA and my player was also in the draft. I don’t really remember how it happened but somehow I got convinced to join a voice chat with @Spartan and @MexicanCow123. I don’t honestly think I said a word in that call and I think I was there for maybe 2 hours. This became a constant thing where I would just sit in their voice chats and not talk but just watch them play games 99% of the time parkitect… please bring that back by the way. It became a running joke that I didn’t talk in voice chats. People use to join and say random things to make me talk but I legitimately refused to. Time continued and I would talk when it was only specific people and then would mute whenever someone else would join but it was always a work in progress. 

 

At some point in Moscow, we were talking about it in gen chat and I think was because I was talking about college. The conversation I had with @Mr_Hatter and Spartan that day has been one that has stuck with me as I have started college and been forced to talk to people but also around the league. As I have started college I think about that conversation a lot and the first few weeks especially it helped me relax and just enjoy the time. I give both of them a ton of credit for how far I’ve come in the last 5 months because honestly, I’ve had the conversation with a lot of people but something about that conversation stuck out to me more than the rest of them. It felt less like being told not to feel that way and more people genuinely trying to help. Spartan use to get me into VCs a lot and as much as I needed it I hated it. As I said one day “it was needed but it was torture” I mean I still stick by that. It was torture but it was a what doesn’t kill you makes you stringer type of situation. 

 

As a lot of people know I like to force myself into locker rooms to get sam roles. This may be one of the best things I ever decided to start doing. It forced me into talking to new people and being put in uncomfortable (for me) situations. That really started in proam and me begging Laine and eventually writing as essay for him to give me a sam role. so if you're ick of it blame @Lainebut that is really how me and Laine became friends was because of that so I'm very grateful for it.  I’ve met so many great people who I probably wouldn’t have met if I didn’t put myself out there. I stuck to my group of like 5-10 people that I would talk to but because of sam roles that has been increased tremendously. So shoutout to all the GMs that have let me into your locker rooms. I do appreciate it.  It probably sounds so stupid to anyone from an outside perspective but I have never been so comfortable around so many people. There are so many people that I’ve meet in the last 3 months who I now feel okay talking to when usually that would take probably 6 months to be able to do. A lot of that also came with the Halifax job. I mean I don’t have a choice I have to talk to my players and other gms etc to be able to run a team. It’s something that I didn’t think would help but it has.

 

It became a joke whenever I would talk anywhere that sam has left her hole or her home. I mean which they weren’t wrong. The first time I had an actual conversation in vhl gen discord I remember multiple people saying wow she talks. I know it’s surprising I do exist. I went from not being able to talk to people to be able to hop in a call with people after only knowing them for a little bit. Which is a huge improvement. Cow is one of my best friends on this app and it took over 9 months for him to convince me to get on a call with him.


 

So what's the point of this? One to thank you to the people who have helped me get over this slightly and have been extremely helpful to make me talk to people. I appreciate you torturing me for the better good of myself. I am so much more confident at least within the vhl walls to talk to people and not feel like an annoyance. Well except when I’m begging for sam roles I hope you get annoyed with me that means I’m doing my job. I definitely have my days where talking to people isn’t my thing and I fall back into old habits but in all honesty, vhl was one of the ways I’ve been able to force myself to break those habits. It’s a work in progress and will be for a while. I  want to say a final thanks to those who have helped me on this path even if you don’t think you did, you probably did in some way, shape, or form by just talking to me. When I walked into this league I never expected it to actually change me but its made an impact for sure. I'm really grateful for it. Okay bye now.

Edited by Brewins15
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Viper

Viper 530

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A few things.

 

1. I am MUCH better at Parkitect than everyone here.

2. Honestly had no idea that you didn't like to socialize. I only knew you from Moscow, which you spoke a lot in. 

3. Pretty cool story, to see what the VHL can do for people.

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samx

samx 1,114

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6 minutes ago, Viper said:

A few things.

 

1. I am MUCH better at Parkitect than everyone here.

2. Honestly had no idea that you didn't like to socialize. I only knew you from Moscow, which you spoke a lot in. 

3. Pretty cool story, to see what the VHL can do for people.

 were u in Moscow before me???

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samx

samx 1,114

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33 minutes ago, jasplunds said:

Despite being completely new to this community and basically not knowing anyone, this put a genuine smile on my face while reading. Glad to have arrived in your locker room! 🤩

Glad to have you in Halifax!

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Spartan

Spartan 4,150

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Here's a bit more background and a fun story. I frankly think I only invited Sam to Moscow because I knew she and Cow were good friends, and it was around when I just became GM. I had been thinking of opening up the LR to more people, just to get more people and voices in there to bump activity and develop a community.

 

Cow was obviously someone I'd game with, and at some point Sam would be talking to us through the chat while we played. Eventually we coerced her into the vc where she stayed generally silent, and one day unmuted to drop like one line. Earth shattering. Pattern just about held for a while, Sam in vc while me and Cow played Parkitect, and she started unmuting more when I'd go terraform land into a prison for our guests. Heartless and psychopathic, I know. But slowly she spoke more and more just to laugh at the stupid shit we'd do.

 

Fast forward to like 2 weeks ago where she calls me almost out of the blue to help her college roommate with her excel homework, and I just sat there listening to them giggle over random shit and how dumb her roommate was being. Not being able to copy paste and all that, but it was truly awesome to think back about completely uninteractive Sam to one who seamlessly engaged in conversation with 4+ people at the same time and taking control of the chat. V proud good job adios!

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samx

samx 1,114

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2 hours ago, Spartan said:

Here's a bit more background and a fun story. I frankly think I only invited Sam to Moscow because I knew she and Cow were good friends, and it was around when I just became GM. I had been thinking of opening up the LR to more people, just to get more people and voices in there to bump activity and develop a community.

 

Cow was obviously someone I'd game with, and at some point Sam would be talking to us through the chat while we played. Eventually we coerced her into the vc where she stayed generally silent, and one day unmuted to drop like one line. Earth shattering. Pattern just about held for a while, Sam in vc while me and Cow played Parkitect, and she started unmuting more when I'd go terraform land into a prison for our guests. Heartless and psychopathic, I know. But slowly she spoke more and more just to laugh at the stupid shit we'd do.

 

Fast forward to like 2 weeks ago where she calls me almost out of the blue to help her college roommate with her excel homework, and I just sat there listening to them giggle over random shit and how dumb her roommate was being. Not being able to copy paste and all that, but it was truly awesome to think back about completely uninteractive Sam to one who seamlessly engaged in conversation with 4+ people at the same time and taking control of the chat. V proud good job adios!

pretend I said nothing.

Edited by Brewins15
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