CIA’s Long, Undoubtedly Wrong S95 VHL Mock Draft

[CowboyinAmerica 2,880]

 

CIA’s Long, Undoubtedly Wrong S95 VHL Mock Draft

 

It’s that time of year again! Yes, sure, the finals where we see if Moscow can finally break through or if Toronto gives me a bunch of prediction points. But even more than that for 14 other teams: We’re almost to another year of the VHL Draft!

 

Whenever I write this intro, I always explain that I’m going to be wrong and you shouldn’t take what I have for gospel. This year, that’s especially true for one main reason: The lottery hasn’t happened yet because Moscow doesn’t have a lottery pick this time because it’s going to happen after the playoffs. As a result, not only are the picks wrong, but the order is going to be wrong as well.

 

Naturally, Davos has received the first pick each of the past two seasons, so if past performance is a predictor of future success, they’re going to once again for this season. But without knowing that for sure, I’m keeping the lottery odds as they are right now. I’m also putting Moscow’s first as the final pick, because I want to provide even more locker room material because it’s fun. Undoubtedly there will be even more trades in the lead-up to the draft as well, perhaps even some already agreed upon, but that won’t be reflected here.

 

As always, if you’re a draftee going lower than you think you should (or in one particular case, because I didn’t agree with your desire to go last overall), it’s because I hate you personally. With all of those caveats out of the way, let’s get into some picks! TPE totals are accurate as of me writing this on Wednesday, July 17.

 

 1. Calgary Wranglers (from Prague): G Roger Eagles, Rome Gladiators, @Greg_Di - 378 TPE

 

Certainly, there are some platitudes I could write about how Prague wishes it could have this pick, and they’d be true. But in the first conveying to Calgary, it turns what would have been a straightforward selection into a more interesting one. By pure TPE, Eagles is far and away the top prospect on the board. But Calgary made an early season run this past year with S91 goalie David Slezak in goal, and in doing so reenergized Slezak to at least earn 5 points a week. And while S91 is certainly a bit older than the S95 Eagles, he’s also young for this roster - the only two projected starters next season that are younger are forward Miner VHLer and defenseman Carson Tripp. So would Calgary go need with a Shevchenko, Sakic or Teno over Eagles? I say no, because top goalies are so rare - but I don’t think it’s an open and shut case, either.

 

 2. Los Angeles Stars: G Spider Panda, San Diego Marlins, @Ricer13 - 280 TPE

 

This one, however, I think is a bit more open and shut. Last season, in L.A.’s first true draft post-tanking, the team invested heavily in both forwards (Phantom, Pombo, Lose) and defense (Thorvaldsson). But particularly with the impending retirement of Matthew McCagg, no goalie in the prospect pool above 150 TPE, and not owning their own S96 first, I’d think that L.A. will be looking to go for one of the top two goalies at all costs. Even if they don’t get Eagles, Panda has star potential of their own and would be a worthy #1 overall pick in some drafts. I think the more interesting thing for L.A. is what they’d do if they fell in the lottery and couldn’t get either Eagles or Panda, and my guess is either Teno or even trading the pick to bring in a more veteran goalie.

 

 3. D.C. Dragons: LW Phil Sakic, Miami Marauders, @Phil - 305 TPE

 

The Dragons have the third pick over Helsinki by “winning” the tiebreaker (which of course means having fewer regulation wins), and their reward is their choice of all the non-goalies on the board. And that’s good particularly for D.C., where S93 goalie Herald Benson is looking like a steal but they have no other rotation players younger than S92. It’s always good to start a rebuild with a star forward, and the choice between Konstyantyn Shevchenko and Phil Sakic could be truly interesting. Both have similar TPE counts, are long-time members of the VHL, are quieter on the boards but put in the work, and even have similar scoring-centric builds. I’m giving it to Phil not based on too terribly much, but I don’t think you could go wrong either way.

 

 4. Helsinki Titans: D Ahsoka Tano, Houston Bulls, @aimkin - 296 TPE

 

Sitting in the four slot means that the Titans could really be sweating this one out. Because while the Dragons could really go any number of ways, I’d guess Helsinki is really focused in on one area: defense. The Titans have four rotation forwards S91 or younger (assuming Dassler re-signs, which you never know) and an S94 goalie ready to come up in THE MIGHTY ICE WIZARD, but outside of Donald Carlson who may be spending a year or two in the VHLE, there aren’t any long-term defensemen around. Tano has been vocal that they are busy and won’t be achieving full practice time, but even so, the success of former goalie Jesse Tano is persuasive. I’ll say the Titans take the plunge with Tano regardless to be the core defensive player of the future.

 

 5. HC Davos Dynamo: RW Konstyantyn Shevchenko, Mississauga Hounds, @der meister - 315 TPE

 

After three seasons of a deep rebuild, the Dynamo have re-stocked the cupboards and are ready to make a leap. Now in the building are a number of young prospects across the board, including three S94 draftees in Felicia Hardy, Johnny Tsunami and Matteo Stefano, all of whom could be up in the VHL next season. So it makes sense to me for Davos to go best player available, and luckily there’s a great one on the board in Shevchenko. While Davos does currently have a glut of forwards and Shevchenko might seemingly be fighting for a second line slot with a prospect like Steve French, I think if you’re Davos, you take the top-earning talent and let the rest shake out later. I could also see Samsayz I-Smell as an option if they wanted to go defense, but… well, let’s talk about that.

 

 6. Calgary Wranglers: D Samsayz I-Smell, Mexico City Kings, @CaptainSB - 281 TPE

 

I’m fully aware that I-Smell desperately wants to go last in the draft. I respect it honestly, as someone who is in full support of subverting narratives and trying something a bit different. Some teams may provide I-Smell that wish, and I think it would take a gutsy team to select them earlier. But when you have Calgary sitting there with a second lottery pick, a new star goalie already selected in this mock, and a desperate need for young talent - I could certainly see them taking the swing here. And I think it’d be a good swing, because I-Smell would be ready to come up right as regression really begins to wallop a ninth-season Stauffer, and they could be on first line defense for Calgary as soon as S96.

 

 7. New York Americans: RW David Pastanap, Houston Bulls, @Jubis - 271 TPE

 

I’m not really in the business of predicting trades, but this is one that I could certainly see moving. New York is ready and desperate to win now - and with both Tommy Shelby and Chris Reynolds Jr. ready to graduate from the VHLE, they could conceivably already have the same full roster for the next couple of seasons. But excepting that, if New York keeps the pick, I think the best available forward makes a lot of sense. Pastanap will be a bit of a slow build due to welfare, but Jubis is a VHL veteran who will be around for the long-haul and can grow into a solid supplementary forward for the franchise.

 

 8. HC Davos Dynamo (from Warsaw): D Alphonse Desjardins, Saskatoon Wild, @Anthique - 222 TPE

 

With their second first round pick, I see the Dynamo going the opposite direction of whatever they did the first time. If they land someone like Tano at #5, I think they’d want to go forward here, likely Tim Robinson. But in the case of going forward in this mock draft, then I think defense makes a whole lot of sense to potentially pair alongside Felicia Hardy in the future. Although Mathiesen is the top player by TPE here, I think a little bit of history will go a long way - the only other player from the agency, Alfred Champagne, spent their first six seasons in Davos and won a title with the franchise. I wouldn’t be shocked to see Davos bring home the newly crowned VHLM champion defenseman here.

 

 9. D.C. Dragons (from Vancouver): D Einar Mathiesen, Miami Marauders, @xsjack - 237 TPE

 

It’s a similar story here to what I said about Davos just a pick ago: Depending on whether they go forward or defense at #3, I’d expect the inverse here. As a result, the pick is a fairly straightforward one with Mathiesen. Although the agency has had three prior players and hasn’t had much success since Jack Lynch, Mathiesen’s training regimen so far has inspired confidence that they could be the best of the bunch. And it’d be a welcome pick for D.C., who desperately needs young talent in front of Benson and has a long rebuild ahead to help Mathiesen grow into a top-flight player.

 

 10. Chicago Phoenix: LW Tim Robinson, Miami Marauders, @Tim Robinson - 265 TPE

 

The playoffs didn’t end the way Chicago wanted, falling to Seattle in Game 7 of the quarterfinals. But the upside is the chance to bring in who honestly I think would be the steal of the draft in Tim Robinson. The agency’s only other player was an underrated Mo Probert, who reached 1314 TPE with stints in both Malmo and Helsinki. With Probert’s solid play and a workmanlike training regimen so far, I could see Robinson going as high as 6. But with Chicago seeing the growth of former 5th overall pick UghSike start to stagnate, they certainly wouldn’t argue a forward with star potential still here at 10th overall.

 

 11. Riga Reign (from Malmo): D Boris Bone-Breaker, Halifax 21st, @RileyL - 228 TPE

 

It was doubly positive for the Reign to knock out Malmo in the quarterfinals, because not only did Riga advance, but they helped out the first round pick they own! The reward is a true defensive defenseman that wants to rattle some cages: Boris Bone-Breaker. While Bone-Breaker has trained primarily defense so far, they did have some solid playmaking with Halifax this season in a way that could potentially translate to the next level. With Skor McFleury staring down retirement and Ray Stanton’s growth stalled, a talented young defenseman like Bone-Breaker would be very welcomed in Riga’s system.

 

 12. London United: RW Drosmis Sarkanis, Saskatoon Wild, @Mr Bohannan - 178 TPE

 

The new GM for the United is going to have some tough decisions to make - namely, whether to try and fight for one more season after mass retirements in the forward corps, or to start the rebuild. If it’s the latter, this is an important pick to nail. Sarkanis is a recent entrant to the draft, having only played 24 games for the Wild in the regular season, but already they’ve set themselves apart as a consistent presence on the practice pitch. While it may take two seasons for Sarkanis to be VHL-ready, that timeline would be just fine for a London franchise that may have some lean years ahead.

 

 13. HC Davos Dynamo (from Riga): D Ronan Amnon, Mexico City Kings, @Breeze837 - 152 TPE

 

The Dynamo would be in an interesting spot with this pick, their third of the first round. So with a little bit of wiggle room following two picks at the top half of the round, why not swing for the fences? Only the second first gen player selected thus far, Amnon is been a bit inconsistent in earner - some weeks with full practice, other weeks only collecting the Practice Facility paycheck. Even investing in weekly welfare would help Amnon become a potential steal almost immediately, and putting them in a strong locker room structure like Davos could help unearth a future pearl.

 

 14. Helsinki Titans (from Seattle): C Ozzy Batty, Mississauga Hounds, @Ozzy Batty - 181 TPE

 

Ozzy Batty’s agency has been a first round pick before, with Otis Boudreaux Jr. going ninth overall to Los Angeles in S89. But from there, it was a lot of hopping around - four teams in four seasons in the VHL, none of which were his draft team in L.A., before ultimately retiring from Calgary at the end of this past season. Will Batty prove to be more consistent? He’s showing signs so far, with an astounding 114 points for the Hounds this past season. If the Titans were to provide a more stable home than Boudreaux Jr. ever had, Batty could turn out to be a steal.

 

 15. Toronto Legion: G Bartholomew Lorequavius, San Diego Marlins, @jaypc8237 - 162 TPE

 

The Legion would seemingly have one more season of contention before a rebuild, but they have a major problem: star goalie Joel Castle is about to retire. Behind him, S91 goalie Toddly Boddly was the backup this season, but he’s not a long-term solution. And the Legion don’t have a single goalie in the prospect pool. That just shows how dangerous the long-term outlook is in goal for Toronto, but Lorequavius could help solve some of those woes. A late entrant to the draft, only getting 25 games in San Diego, Lorequavius has already established a consistent practicing pattern with a few weeks of max practice hours. While he wouldn’t be an immediate solution to Castle, Lorequavius could provide a way to hand off the Legion to a new era when the rebuild comes up soon.

 

16. Moscow Menace: RW Inker Belle, San Diego Marlins, @WildfireMicro - 150 TPE

 

I remember when I was in the S80 draft with Booberry, I was very engaged in the other draftees and who would turn out to be good. And at the time, I would have told anybody that I’d bet Armani Calamari, from then-first gen WildfireMicro, would be the steal of the draft. It kind of turned out: five seasons and four playoff runs of solid, if unspectacular, production with Toronto before stalling out. But after that were a couple of false starts in three-season forward Logan Foley and S93 forward Loona Buckzo, who never even got drafted. Will Belle reverse the trend? I think the raw talent is absolutely there, and in a successful organization like Moscow, I think they’d be able to get the most out of Belle’s potential.

 

[CowboyinAmerica 2,880]

2000+ words, claiming for 4 weeks in both VHL and SBA

 

Weeks ending:

7/21

7/28

8/4

8/11

[der meister 3,179]

Wondering why you hate me personally tbh

[Victor 10,911]

51 minutes ago, CowboyinAmerica said:

 1. Calgary Wranglers (from Prague): G Roger Eagles, Rome Gladiators, @Greg_Di - 378 TPE

 

Certainly, there are some platitudes I could write about how Prague wishes it could have this pick, and they’d be true. But in the first conveying to Calgary, it turns what would have been a straightforward selection into a more interesting one. By pure TPE, Eagles is far and away the top prospect on the board. But Calgary made an early season run this past year with S91 goalie David Slezak in goal, and in doing so reenergized Slezak to at least earn 5 points a week. And while S91 is certainly a bit older than the S95 Eagles, he’s also young for this roster - the only two projected starters next season that are younger are forward Miner VHLer and defenseman Carson Tripp. So would Calgary go need with a Shevchenko, Sakic or Teno over Eagles? I say no, because top goalies are so rare - but I don’t think it’s an open and shut case, either.

 

 2. Los Angeles Stars: G Spider Panda, San Diego Marlins, @Ricer13 - 280 TPE

 

This one, however, I think is a bit more open and shut. Last season, in L.A.’s first true draft post-tanking, the team invested heavily in both forwards (Phantom, Pombo, Lose) and defense (Thorvaldsson). But particularly with the impending retirement of Matthew McCagg, no goalie in the prospect pool above 150 TPE, and not owning their own S96 first, I’d think that L.A. will be looking to go for one of the top two goalies at all costs. Even if they don’t get Eagles, Panda has star potential of their own and would be a worthy #1 overall pick in some drafts. I think the more interesting thing for L.A. is what they’d do if they fell in the lottery and couldn’t get either Eagles or Panda, and my guess is either Teno or even trading the pick to bring in a more veteran goalie.

Jesse Teno with an unexpectedly prominent role in this draft 

[Spartan 4,375]

1 hour ago, CowboyinAmerica said:

16. Moscow Menace

Take it back IMMEDIATELY

[Garsh 1,179]

10 minutes ago, Spartan said:

Take it back IMMEDIATELY

He put "wrong" in the title, what more do you want.

[WildfireMicro 420]

Accidentally angry reacted when I met to heart whoops. I'm doing my best with Inker Belle, and it would be interesting to see her in a freezing environment 

Edited July 18 by WildfireMicro

[diacope 1,696]

[CaptainSB 117]

I love everything of this mock outside me getting drafted so high. Last pick please! Let’s make it happen!

[Jubis 1,343]

A max earning welfare player is only 1 tpe less a week then a max max earner 

[CowboyinAmerica 2,880]

On 7/17/2024 at 5:28 PM, Spartan said:

Take it back IMMEDIATELY

 

I said what I said

[Frank 5,177]

Just now, CowboyinAmerica said:

 

I said what I said

Prophet.

[CowboyinAmerica 2,880]

On 7/17/2024 at 3:44 PM, CowboyinAmerica said:

2000+ words, claiming for 4 weeks in both VHL and SBA

 

Weeks ending:

7/21

7/28

8/4

8/11

 

Claim 3

[CowboyinAmerica 2,880]

On 7/17/2024 at 3:44 PM, CowboyinAmerica said:

2000+ words, claiming for 4 weeks in both VHL and SBA

 

Weeks ending:

7/21

7/28

8/4

8/11

 

Claim 4