Dr. Bunplove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bunp

[.sniffuM 1,741]

By now everyone in the world has heard of the craze sweeping the VHL discord known as bunping. Although it may sound like a lame version of planking or some other shit, bunping is actually a fierce, competitive battle involving all comers that begs only one question: who will bunp? Players may bunp once every two hours, allowing you to watch a whole American Idol episode in between bunps.

 

Alright, alright, I get it. Who the hell even needs this intro? Everyone knows what bunping is. But what many people don’t know is the history of bunping or the current state of the sport. We here at Muffins, Inc. have you covered on all things bunp! We’ll go into many facets of bunping in depth, with information like monthly bunp totals, a breakdown of the monthly races to be crowned bunp king, and who has established themselves as the bunp king this far. So stay tuned, strap on in and prepare yourself for a whole lot of bunp!

 

All bunp records are as of February 7th, 2020, 11:20 PM EST.

 

The First Bunp

 

The VHL was first introduced to bunping on November 14th, 2019, when spammer @Beaviss exclaimed that he finally got it to work in the discord. Despite Beaviss accomplishing this, the first bunp was actually not achieved by everyone’s second favorite MTV cartoon character. No, the first bunp was performed by @Maasa. In fact, Beaviss did not have the second bunp, nor the third. His first bunp was actually the 8th in league history.

 

November 2019: The Early Days

 

Looking back, November was objectively a dark time in the history of VHL bunping. Only 10 different people performed the action in the half a month they were able to, and there were multiple days where no bunps would occur at all. Of those 10 people, only four would bunp multiple times. Those bunpers are @okochastar (2), Maasa (4), @Esso2264 (4), and… Beaviss, with a dominant 25. This of course makes sense, as Beaviss had brought Disboard to the discord server and is always heading up league recruiting efforts. At the time, the league wasn’t sure if it could maybe be a way to successfully bring in more people, so Beavs hit it hard on the bunp front.

 

All things told, the month would end with a measly 41 total bunps.

 

December 2019: The Great Race

 

As time went on and people (primarily Beaviss) continued to bunp, the sport of doing so was beginning to catch on. The list of overall bunpers grew from 10 in November to 13 in December, with six first-timers joining the mix. Although Beaviss took a commanding lead early in the month, as time went by Esso began to fire up the leaderboards. The two were neck-and-neck in their bunp race by the end of the month, but a strong holiday push from Esso saw him narrowly come out in front, totaling 19 bunps to Beaviss’s 17. Muff would come in third for the month as the only other double-digit bunper at 10. As a whole the bunp total nearly doubled from the previous month, going from 41 in November to 74 in December. While that may not be super impressive with the extra two weeks, December is the holiday season so people were more concerned with their families than their bunping. This would change in short order.

 

January 2020: The Bunpsplosion

 

January would see an impressive increase in bunpers, as 21 people executed at least one in the month and 17 would have multiple. January was an interesting race as well, with Beaviss and Esso continuing to battle early. That is, until @Mr_Hatter decided to go nuts. Having entered the third month with just two total bunps in his career, Hatter started off steady, establishing himself as the clear third-best bunper behind the two bunp legends. Then he just started finding these pockets of time where he could pull off four or five bunps in a row. Before anyone knew it, Hatter had more bunps than Beaviss and Esso combined.

 

Incredibly, the month would see a new rivalry blossom. Muff had started the month fairly tame before shooting up the boards late in the month, bunping left and right and passing up Beaviss and Esso to challenge Hatter for the top spot. It would all come in too little, too late, however, as Hatter took the month with a record 34 bunps to Muff’s 30, with Esso and Beaviss coming in well behind Muff for third and fourth.

 

January ultimately saw the 21 bunpers perform 163 total bunps, representing a 229.5% increase month-over-month.

 

February 2020: We’re Just Getting Started

 

Obviously this section only accounts for the first week of the month as that’s all that has happened so far. Despite this, bunping is continuing to show massive growth, as the first week has already seen 15 people execute a bunp, with 12 people having done so multiple times. Whereas January saw a total of 5.26 bunps per day, the first week of February has had an amazing 7.71 bunps per day this far (54 total), inching ever closer to the maximum limit of 12 per day that comes with the two hour bunp time limit (although that can be circumvented with the highly controversial act of double bunping).

 

After their great race in the second half of January 2020, Muff and Hatter have taken diverging paths. Hatter has currently put through five bunps through seven days in February, tied for second most but down from his 1.10 bunp-per-day average of last month. Muff, meanwhile, has been a man ablaze, dominating the rest of the league with 18 bunps so far. Hogan is the other bunper tied with Hatter for second while Beaviss and @McWolf are tied for fourth with four bunps.

 

Overall Bunp Leaderboards

 

As a whole, 25 people have bunped at least once in the VHL. I figured this would be higher, but the figure that really surprised me was that only nine people have reached double digits. So, what I’ll do here is first post numbers 11-25 on the bunp leaderboards, so I can build up some suspense with a top 10 reveal.

 

Spoiler

t-11th: Dyl (6)

t-11th: Doomsday (6)

t-11th: Dil (6)

t-11th: Proto (6)

15th: Berocka (4)

t-16th: Okocha (3)

t-16th: Reno (3)

t-16th: Hedgehog (3)

t-19th: Fresco (2)

t-19th: Penny (2)

t-19th: Diamond_Ace (2)

t-22nd: Enorama (1)

t-22nd: Steve (1)

t-22nd: Banackock (1)

t-22nd: Agent M (1)

 

 

Overall Bunp Leaderboards: The All-Star Reserves

 

Now we get into the top 10. Like I said before, only nine people have bunped in the double digits in their careers, so coming in at #10 with eight career bunps is @GustavMattias. I was surprised and quite frankly a little disappointed to see this, I figured Gus would’ve had way more bunps than this. I guess he just prefers to watch.

 

Next up at #9 is Maasa, who holds a strong place in bunp history with the first ever bunp and has 10 total. Unfortunately, Maasa has kind of dropped out of the game, with no bunps since December. Just above him at #8 is @Rayzor_7, who has 11 bunps. Rayz has been a steady bunper, picking one up here and there. He’s a solid, respectable vet that would make any bunpball team better.

 

Another surprise for me is #7, @JeffD, with 12. I had figured he’d have more than his total for sure. He may not bunp often, but when he does, he makes ‘em count. Following him at #6 is a solid player in the bunp game in McWolf, who has had a solid 15 total. Wolfie has always had a presence in the game, notching at least one bunp in every month. After a quiet January that saw only three total bunps, McWolf has already totaled four in February.

 

The last of the reserves is @HulkHogan, who has a not-too-shabby total of 18 bunps to put him at #5. While that’s a solid total, it pales in comparison to the top four, who have all had at least one month where they topped that total on their own.

 

Overall Bunp Leaderboards: The Race for Bunp King

 

If you’ve been following along, you’ll probably know by now that the top four all-time bunpers are esso, beaviss, hatter and muff. All four have played a strong part in the history of bunping, with each leading one month of the game to this point (again, February isn’t finished but I’m counting it). But which of these four bunp legends has earned the right to be Bunp King?

 

Coming in at #4 on the overall bunp list, with a massive 41 bunps, is… Hatter. Despite a record month of 34 bunps in January, a slow start to his career and a tough first week of February has had Hatter fall just a bit behind the remaining crop of contenders.

 

And then there were three. All three have been dominant bunpers in their careers. The race between Beaviss and Esso defined the first competitive month of bunp history, while Muff came on incredibly strong from the second half of January and hasn’t looked back since. All three are worthy of being crowned Bunp King, but the real question here is, who fell just short of final consideration? That person, who sits third on the all-time bunp leaderboards is… Esso, with 47.

 

So that leaves two people vying for Bunp King. Beaviss, who introduced the bunp to the server and accounted for over 60% of the first month’s bunps, and Muff, who has averaged over 2.5 bunps per day in the most competitive era of bunp. These two are very close to each other in bunps, but one does have the edge, with a total of 64 bunps to second place’s 59.

 

And so, with all the fanfare out of the way, your official Bunp King, as of February 8th, 2020, is…

 

Spoiler

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Beaviss

Spoiler

Fuck this shit I'm out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overall Bunp Leaderboards: 1-25

 

Spoiler

1st: Beaviss (64)

2nd: Muff (59)

3rd: Esso (47)

4th: Hatter (41)

5th: Hogan (18)

6th: McWolf (15)

7th: Jeff: (12)

8th: Rayz (11)

9th: Maasa (10)

10th: Gustav (8)

t-11th: Dyl (6)

t-11th: Doomsday (6)

t-11th: Dil (6)

t-11th: Proto (6)

15th: Berocka (4)

t-16th: Okocha (3)

t-16th: Reno (3)

t-16th: Hedgehog (3)

t-19th: Fresco (2)

t-19th: Penny (2)

t-19th: Diamond_Ace (2)

t-22nd: Enorama (1)

t-22nd: Steve (1)

t-22nd: Banackock (1)

t-22nd: Agent M (1)

 

Not sure exactly how long this came out to be now that I've put the leaderboards in spoiler tags, but this should be 1,500 words even without those counting so I should be good for 3 weeks of claim here.

[Beaviss 4,957]

one of the most important articles in league history right here.

[Mr_Hatter 1,608]

January was the month of Hatter, but it has been a cold February. Y'all caught back on

[okochastar 97]

according to this I'm as vital to league health and growth as @hedgehog337

[hedgehog337 3,483]

13 minutes ago, okochastar said:

according to this I'm as vital to league health and growth as @hedgehog337

 

wow that's weak. no contribution at all

[Doomsday 4,130]

#BunpGang

[Esso2264 774]

BUNP GANG RISE UP

[.sniffuM 1,741]

bunp 2 of 3

[.sniffuM 1,741]

bunp 3 of 3