BluObieZ 1,125 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 (edited) Yes, you read that correctly Orion Slade has retired. But why Robbie? Well it’s really quite simple you simpleton. He ran his course; he was not allowed to be around for another season. Not like he actually played a game in the last few seasons because of my own choice. But in general I was bored by the player. I missed a few key posting milestones I wanted with him to help build up his story, because you know that for me the story is far more important then actual player themselves. So once I missed the post milestones. I kind of just lost interest in the player which actually made it a lot easier to just tell all VHL teams to fuck off and he will not sign a contract for his final two seasons. I turned down a few offers in his second last season, but for his last season there were no offers. Go ahead. Try to laugh. I would have turned them down. All of them. I think teams knew I would turn them down so they just didn’t send me offers. What a shame huh? One last chance to fuck around and shatter teams dreams of landing me. Nah as I said by his last season, teams either didn’t want me because of who I am or didn’t want to send me an offer because they knew I would say fuck off, or because Orion was a shitty player. He really was. I’ll be the first to admit it. While I promised that Orion’s last two seasons would be one massive fuck you to everyone and the “League” that didn’t really come to be. I got busy with my family. COVID hit and fucked everything up. Then summer hit and I’m legit spending almost every day up at my cottage. So you know… life got in the way of me shoving one massive middle finger up the leagues collective breed hole (because I cannot say the C word) But looking beyond why he retired now. You really must be here because you heard this was going to be an epic goodbye. One last fuck you to everyone. The grand finale for the King Robbie Zimmers. The asshole, the trolliest of trolls, The Ego, Ego and the list goes on and on. Where are you going with this Robbie? You know most people post a few lines when the retire but this is long. Well first off fuck you. Secondly this ain’t long. If you were around for my grand Script MS’s that were 2000-3000 words, then you know that this isn’t long at all. This is actually me trying to keep this short and sweet. So sit down and shut up. Drink your extra large coke you fat ass and continue to read. If you are too dumb to comprehend what is being said, then first off you are dumb and secondly get someone to read it to you as a bedtime story. This is a story of a man who a few times offered to buy this shitty thing you call a league. For actual money. Yes, you read that right. So I think you sitting there and reading all of this is warranted. Now back to the retirement. As you can tell gone are the days where I post 2000-3000 word MS’s because I was bored, 3hr podcasts just because it was funny to annoy people, me running around the site just causing pure mayhem which forced the hands of the blue crew to ban me for a while which happened at least ten times in my grand “career” here in this... “League” Hell I have whole rules in the “league” that are there because of me. Don’t believe me? I had clauses built into contracts that guaranteed me that if the team sucked I would be move to a team I picked. I had other clauses that fucked the team even more. The blue crew stepped in and said no more would that be allowed. I am also the reason why your players have to be from earth. Yes I had a player born in space in a effort to pick good world cup teams. I am probably the sole reason why they crackdown on trolls and bullies around here. I’ve been the longest running troll around here. Others came and went or got banned for good. While some (and you know who you are) cried (literally like a little baby) that why I was not booted and not allowed back. I set off hundred-page argument threads, where I would argue with everyone in there. Why? Because I was fucking bored and I find mayhem fun. Call my bullshit on that? I literally would stand on the sidewalk and watch your house burn down, not call 911 I’d just watch it burn. Knowing full well that me not calling means you would lose your house. Now I must point out that I did not say you were inside your burning house, so settle down simple jack. With all the fun I had over the many years around here, the last few ones I literally lost interest in everything. I couldn’t be bothered to even troll people. I disappeared twice for about a year each time. Then when I had sometime I would circle back to see what kind of shit I could cause around here. But now, to say that I am even remotely active would be a massive fucking lie. I’m not active. I came around to claim welfare and then fuck off for a week. I was literally claiming welfare for a player that was not on a team for the last two seasons. Why? Well… I thought I would come around a little more because COVID was raping the world and film shut down so other then being a father 24/7 I nothing else to do. But that didn’t shape up at all. Instead of COVID making me more active, it made me less active. I had a full plan to come around here and just poke fun everyone and things around the site. Posting status updates about my free agent player etc. But like many of my plans for Orion that also failed. Not that I give a fuck. But let’s be honest, that last plan went south much like winning a ton of cups did. Which brings me to today. The retirement. The final fuck you. But before I do. I would like to channel my inner O.J. Simpson (He wrote “If I done it” and put out one last hypothetical thing. “If I would have stay” If I would have stay I would have made one “last” player. His Name: Rodney Ravage Position: LW or RW Story: Wild West outlaw runs his horse into a wormhole after robbing a train filled with gold. He appears in modern time. Now stinking rich because of the gold. He probably would have become one of my most outlandish players ever. Keep in mind one of my players was born in space. But I had a grand plan for Rodney. I will not go into detail about it. But it wasn’t all about his story. It was going to be a well thought out entertaining sideshow that this “league” has never seen before. I will not tell you exactly what the plan was because well… that’s for me to know and you not to. But I would have done it, it would have annoyed the people that normally get worked up by things I do. That’s for sure… that’s putting it lightly. But anyways. I think it’s that time. “NO!!!!! Robbie don’t leave” I have to fuck face. It’s time. “But what about the twist” you guys don’t deserve to hear my twist. You aren’t worthy to hear it. But! Having said that. Here is a new twist I just thought of. Consider it a pity twist since you guys aren’t worthy of hearing my grand finale twist. So here goes the pity twist. Instead of telling specific people to fuck off etc… I will make one general grand fuck you to all of you. Because no one deserves to be named by “name” on my retirement speech. No on has affected me so much that I would mention them in a good or bad way. So I will lump you all into the same shitty bunch. So here I go. Fuck you! All of you. I am better than everyone of you. Always have been, always will be. Robbie Out… Or am I really out? Am I really out? Or have I just announced that I am making a new player? I guess you will have to wait and see if I am gone or I will make Rodney. Time will tell. Now have a fucky night. Edited July 10, 2020 by BluObieZ Rayzor_7, DoktorFunk, eaglesfan036 and 3 others 3 1 1 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 19 minutes ago, Tate said: That was the written equivalent of sucking your own dick. Must have tasted as shitty as that was to read. Oh and btw, go fuck yourself. No I insist you go fuck yourself Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761280 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 (edited) 29 minutes ago, Tate said: You're so asleep that you keep posting here. Yep. Go to sleep fool Edited July 10, 2020 by BluObieZ Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761289 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 4 minutes ago, Tate said: Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761291 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 Just now, Tate said: It's only fitting my retirement thread turns into a shit show. So... thanks I guess. Even though I have no clue who you are. Not that I care. You are a skid mark on life Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761293 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banackock 8,044 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, Sonnet said: I seen that too and chuckled in my head. Wonderful speech. Reminds me of someone. Edited July 10, 2020 by Banackock mediocrepony 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761304 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Moderator frescoelmo 1,276 Posted July 10, 2020 Head Moderator Share Posted July 10, 2020 I can't wait to see what happens Or do I? Guess you'll have to find out if I care NotAVHLM-GM and Mr_Hatter 1 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761317 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,940 Posted July 10, 2020 Admin Share Posted July 10, 2020 tl;dr summary pls Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761469 Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglesfan036 4,601 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 10 minutes ago, Victor said: tl;dr summary pls Robbie is selling his yacht because he is bankrupt ColeMrtz and Victor 1 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761473 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVHLM-GM 1,858 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 10 minutes ago, Victor said: tl;dr summary pls he gone, but maybe not, thinks we care Victor 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761474 Share on other sites More sharing options...
McWolf 3,115 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 11 minutes ago, Victor said: tl;dr summary pls it's Robbie Victor 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761475 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Tortorella 2,653 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 I have no idea why Robbie riles people up. Its 100% an act/gimmick (which I dont mean in a bad way) in order to get a rise out of people. Good luck with your re-create, because you know you're coming back! Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761478 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peace 1,528 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 16 minutes ago, OrbitingDeath said: thinks we care I can't find anyone who does. Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761479 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 1 hour ago, OrbitingDeath said: he gone, but maybe not, thinks we care Don't care if you cared. I knew this was the reaction this would get. You care enough to post in here. Stop caring bro. v.2 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761543 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 1 hour ago, McWolf said: it's Robbie And you're McWolf Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761545 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 1 hour ago, Peace said: I can't find anyone who does. Cared enough to post in here. Thanks buddy. Thanks for caring Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761546 Share on other sites More sharing options...
McWolf 3,115 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 4 minutes ago, BluObieZ said: And you're McWolf we are both pretty smort, it seems Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761549 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761671 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aye my name jeff 121 Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Lmao. Clownery Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-761695 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banackock 8,044 Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 Rodney Ravage Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-972087 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grape 677 Posted July 22, 2023 Share Posted July 22, 2023 The return Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/86730-my-retirement-speech/#findComment-992507 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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