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Hello and welcome back to Rory talking about random things so reach the five hundred word limit and claim six total points earned. In this episode of rory saying largely nonsensical words in no particular order, we will be discussing the Mexico city kings hockey club. Fans at the Corona Dos Equis Modello Bowl Place Arena Centre  (as determined by @Motzaburger, @Hylands, and I) will be pleased with the teams performance at the VHLM dispersal draft so let's just jump in it!

Starting in goal we have the returning goaler @Xflexz Markus Emerson Jr. Emerson will be one of the top goalies in the league, and should already be a candidate for S74 MVP. He will be capped at the start of the season and will dominate the crease for Mexico. Look out for him to not only raise the cup, but MVP, playoff MVP, and goalie of the year. He is the goat.

Our star winger will be @jhatty8, who will also enter the season as capped. Our best boy is eligible for the S75 entry draft and will hopefully be among the top 5 picks. He scored 86 points last season and will score over 200 points GURANTEED this season on the greatest team in the league. 90 scoring is elite baby. 

The LEAD centreman will be young Chris Foley @Firekiss. He scored 85 points on the first line last season and should again be primed in a situation to score more. @TMGSosaSosa should be closing in on my based on current earnings. Sosa should be better in the faceoff department and will help the first or second line either way. I am very excited about our center depth this season, especially in the top 6. 

And of course our star-studded defense. The one and only Hulk Hogan Jr. @Beaviss will hopefully lead in his fathers footsteps and become a master defender to lead our blue line. Joining him is returning defender @kevinscix Kevin Wu on the top pairing. He is very good defender who will help the Mexico City backline in defending Mr. Emerson Jr's next.

Now that I am still like 150 words away from my limit, I guess I will talk about my expectations for the team and some other team's goons around the league. Obviously Mexico will go 65-7, only losing the 7 games that all-star back up JONATHAN BUSTARD will be playing. Emerson will probably have a 0.05 GAA and a .500% save percentage purely from never getting shot on due to the amazing Mexican defense. Thatcher, Sosa, and Foley will absolutely decimate the scoreboard. Combined I can almost guarantee the three of them will score 1000 points. Adding HHJ and Wu, the point totals will be just over 1300. Mexico City will go down in the history books as the greatest team to lose in the first round because we refuse to be outdone by the Halifax 9+10s. Furthermore, Hylands will lose executive of the year because the voters will be enraged by Mexican dominance.

Hey @.sniffuM what is your opinion on mexico city roster?

?

Edited by rory
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Hello, welcome to my review where I fill my paragraph with filler words and then claim it for 1 TPE. I liked the part where you talked about having to talk about random things to get TPE, it was very relatable. The part where you talked about Mexico was cool, but not where you talked about motza because inactive old GMs are irrelevant. I think the media spot was funny and good article for 6 TPE so 9/10 rating.

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Quite honestly this has to be the single-most amazing piece of media work to have ever graced the presence of the internet. By the end of the first sentence I was weeping with joy, anticipation, and frankly I was just overwhelmed by it all. Even though it lacked in grammar and spelling accuracy, it was an incredible experience and every word made me quiver to the deepest parts of my soul. 

 

10/10 would read again (while sitting on the dryer)

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I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.

8/10

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1 minute ago, .sniffuM said:

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.

8/10

Clap Applause GIF by Lizzo

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